This morning I woke to my daughter's cries only to have her tell me I was not the parent she wanted. Not exactly what I wanted to hear after already missing putting her to bed last night. But she is her own person with her own logic and experiences so all I could do was tuck her in as I was asked and then "get out" as I was told.
She drifted back to sleep but I found I could not. I would love to say that logic and reasoning can abate my mind. I cannot say I have developed thick skin over the course of life's inflicted wounds. I was brought into this world with a tender heart and it has remained intact throughout my experiences. In fact, even events that are not my own, from the news or shows, effect me deeper than I sometimes wish. But it is also my super power; this ability to care and be sensitive.
The one thing that can help is to remind myself that I am whole and complete. When I feel the little shatters within my heart at hearing something sad; I can remind myself that I am still whole. I am still whole. I was created with this sensitive and tender heart for a reason and it gives a space for healing and love in this sometimes crazy and chaotic world. I am an integral piece of this world and of my family and yet we are all whole and complete pieces in and of ourselves.
We are each here for a reason. We were each created with the same uniqueness and beauty of a snowflake, no two the same. We each have a path to travel and we are blessed with the beauty of getting to walk in tandem with friends and family for varying amounts of that path.
It is easy, especially as a mom, for me to wrap my identity in the roles I provide. But I am whole and complete both within this role and in the larger scale journey. I am my own person just as I want to raise my daughter to be. My relationships enhance who I am but they do not define or create who I am...and in that I find peace and gratitude.
I'm grateful for the light of the full moon, both guiding me home last night and guiding me back to the light this morning. I'm grateful to be aware that I tend to process deeper emotions when the moon is full. I'm grateful to have been blessed with a sensitive and tender heart. I'm grateful to honor it rather than try to tuck it down and shelter it from wounds. I'm grateful to acknowledge the wound of hearing my daughter not want my support this morning. But I'm more grateful to honor her wish and accept her assertion of her own needs. I'm grateful to take time to process and not brush it away or ignore the underlying sting. I'm grateful to remember that I am whole and complete, as is my beautiful child, and that is beauty and comfort in itself.
What roles do you find identity in? What aspects of you remind you that you are whole and complete on this journey? How do you bring yourself back into balance?
May today remind us that we are loved, whole, and complete no matter the moment we find ourselves inside. May we have the tools to bring our hearts back to balance and remember our unique perfection in each moment. Have a beautiful day!