It also feels like mood is a wavelength. There are the regular ups and downs but then there are the jagged, more angry times like WWWW, or the glum times where the ups and downs seem inequal and stretched out. There are the nice swooping times where I feel in sync with what's happening around me.
The thing is, right now all these things seem off. The energy of the whole country just feels...derailed. Respect seems hard to find and listening to each other's perspectives seems to be too much to ask. It feels like static everywhere.
At a parade this weekend, with my mom and children, we watched as Mom's Against Gun Violence marched down the street with posters calling to end the violence and protect the children. A man not far from us started yelling at them about taking away people's rights. One woman tried to pause and speak to him, assuring his she was a gun owner and they simply wanted to help end violence not take away guns from legitimate owners. He began using expletives and she went on marching, letting his rant run its course on deaf ears.
As a mom of two small children I appreciated her de-escalation. I had to shake my head at when it became okay to scream and rant at people in the middle of a family event. But as we continued to watch the parade several candidates marched, shouting their beliefs for all to hear. I understand being in the parade and handing out flyers to get your face and name recognized. But I do not appreciate the questions I have to field from my five year old on why they are so angry and scary and what does he mean people are destroying our country.
Parades are for children. They have enough on their plate coming through a pandemic, riots, and mass shootings of the last few years. Let them be kids. Let them enjoy a simple parade. Speak to the parents and make your political views known later.
Now this may seem like exactly what I said, not wanting to hear a different perspective. Far from it. In my family we have a wide range of views and beliefs and we openly share...when it is appropriate. There is a time and place. Just like there is a time and place for using a gun and it is not in the midst of a mass of innocent people.
I'm tired. I have battled my own anxieties and depression waves through my lifetime. This static, this disrespect and upheaval feels the heaviest. It feels like it has permeated my body and it is hard to kick all the other energies out. Perhaps that is why I have thrown myself more into activities with my kids and even returned to therapy rather than sitting here writing a blog.
If you are feeling this weight too, know you are not alone. But the best thing we can do right now is to take care of our own mental health. We can focus on respect. We can set boundaries. We can take the time we need and focus on something that brings us joy. We cannot fix everyone out there. But enough of us fix the person inside us, the more ripple we make in healing the wavelength and returning to a more peaceful cycle.
I'm grateful to just observe. I'm grateful to see the static and try to clear. I'm grateful to try to find balance between listening and drawing clear boundaries. I'm grateful to be there for those who are struggling. I'm grateful for all those have been helping me as well.
What are you grateful for? What struggles can you lay down? Where can you release anger and find healing? How can you help move us all forward?
May we keep moving forward in peace. May we hear the pain without embodying it and may we nourish ourselves so we may be the rock for those who need us. Have a beautiful day!