One of the biggest challenges for me as a mom has been a lack of clear cut answers. Parenting just doesn't have them. There isn't a flow chart to follow; if baby does X, mom should respond by doing Z. Instead there are hundreds of possible responses to each scenario. Normally this may sound wonderful and freeing to know there are so many possibilities. But in the middle of the night with no sleep... I would love a flow chart!
So I created a rough flow chart in my head. If baby wakes I can wait 5 minutes. Did it work? No? Proceed to step two, shushing through the door. Did it work? No? Proceed to step three, holding her for a couple minutes in order to check her diaper and temperature. This still continued until 4 a.m. but at least the step by step instructions in my head provided me some sense of progression.
Once my daughter had finally drifted back off to sleep I welcomed my own pillow with open arms. It was just as I was drifting off that my dog decided to start trying to eat the bandage off her paw. I can tell the holidays are not far behind us because in my mind I heard "away to the dog bed she flew in a flash".
As I got the dog resettled and finally made it back to the comforts of bed, I couldn't help but laugh a little at the ridiculous timing and my sheer exhaustion. Perhaps there was some delirium mixed in as well. Either way it felt good to laugh. At that point, what else was there to do?
Falling back into a comatose sleep I embraced all ninety minutes of rest before my daughter was up and ready to start the day. As I sit here dazed and typing a blog through foggy mind, my daughter is wrestling her giant stuffed monkey and singing songs. Haha, oh to be young and full of energy!
I'm grateful for a map in my head to get me from point A to point B when my brain cannot process fully on its own. I'm grateful to still have spill-proof sippy-cups in the house to give her in the middle of the night. I'm grateful for the energy and stamina to keep going even when I'd rather sleep. I'm grateful to be a mom, twenty-four, seven. And as much as I love sleep I'm grateful to know I wouldn't trade my beautiful family for it.
When do you wish you had a map or chart to follow? What do you do to navigate in those times of not knowing? How to you find energy to complete a task after you thought you had reached your limit?
May today renew our energy and resolve. May we be up for any and all challenges that greet us and may we walk away with confidence. Have a beautiful day!