I have other people reassuring me it is because I have such a petite frame so every ounce shows while my doctor says I am measuring perfectly. At the beginning of this pregnancy I even struggled to put on weight because of being so sick and yet still received the same comments.
There are days when these comments get to me but overall I just observe how interesting society is with judgments they pass and things they feel are appropriate to say out loud. It is almost as if freedom TO speak has overtaken the ability to know when not to speak.
I am blessed to have a small frame and I cannot even imagine what it is like for those who struggle with weight or just having a large frame their whole lives. I would hope judgment and comments are more restrained but I imagine this is not the case even though the casual passerby knows nothing of their story. There are people in my life that are very physically fit and active, way more than I am, but are just larger in structure and tone. Yet they face the same judgment as the next larger person.
Last night as I was thinking of the whole idea of "a weight being lifted" something occurred to me. Yes, being able to get thoughts off my chest can feel like a weight lifted but ninety percent of the time a weight applied works better. It is that weight of my husband's strong arms giving me a hug and holding me tight that helps me release my tension. It is the weight of my daughter lying on my chest to calm her fears or reconnect us after a standoff that grounds me back in love. It is even the weight of my weighted blanket when my mind is spinning that brings me back to center. It is the weight added rather than the weight lifted that usually makes the difference for me.
In my younger days I struggled with an eating disorder and every pound I put on. I am grateful for all the work and the people in my life that helped me overcome this. But the funny thing to me is that when it comes to pregnancy, I don't worry about the weight. It is just a number. And that number means there is a beautiful miracle growing inside me. The love that is growing is much more than any number on a scale could mean.
I'm grateful for weight added. I'm grateful to just observe the comments people have for me about weight and pregnancy rather than take them to heart. I'm grateful for all the supportive, kind people in my life. I'm grateful for all those who helped me get over my eating disorder and heal those negative thoughts when I was younger. I'm grateful my struggle with this disease was not as hard as the grip it gets on some. I'm grateful to be blessed with a small frame and not to have to struggle with weight day to day. I'm grateful to recognize you cannot judge someone based on looks and that, no matter what the case may be, judgment as no place in my loving heart. I'm grateful to see the beauty of each of our individuality and I'm grateful to hold hope that we can raise the next generations to be more loving to all and not let freedom of speech overstep love and kindness.
How do you feel about weight? Have you been witness to negative commentary, either your own or others'? How do we move forward as a society to a more loving, accepting view of weight?
May today remind us there is beauty in our differences. May we release our own judgments as well as those cast on us so we may live our best life filled with love. Have a beautiful day!