I am never harder on myself than when it comes to how I am raising my tiny human. My personality has always leaned to self-critical but I had done a lot of self-work before my daughter was born to help moderate that aspect. But when it comes to parenting I struggle to remind myself that there is a learning curve and I am still just human.
Coming out of a challenging weekend I can definitely say I am grateful for a supportive, hands-on husband that helps with our daughter. When I can feel I've been pushed to my limit it is so nice to say "tag! Your turn!" and take a moment to go breathe.
My husband is great about being on my team in the thick of it. And I am so blessed for not only his active parenting but for his different perspective. He is great about catching me when my wards turn inward and reminding me I'm a good mom.
Yet when I am spiraling and it feels like there is no end to the tunnel of two year old tests there is no one better than my mom to call. Why? Not because she says anything different than my husband usually but because she has BEEN there! She is a survivor of not only the toddler years but also the teenager years. She has watched her kids make good and bad choices, witnessed the fallout, watched our hearts be broken and been right there for us as we rebuilt.
I do not remember what I was like at two. I do not remember my mom losing her cool or pulling her hair out. I remember all the great times. All the calm lessons and all the time spent together is what makes up my memories of youth. But my mom remembers. She remembers all the times she felt she was screwing up or that she was at the end of her rope. She remembers losing her temper. And she can say, "look how close we are now."
I'm so grateful for all my husband does. I'm grateful to have someone to bounce ideas off of and to catch me when I am being too hard on myself. I'm grateful for all the ways his perspective differs from my own and the ways we adapt to blend the two thoughts. I'm grateful for my daughter who if a great kid even on her worst days. I'm grateful to not believe in the "terrible twos" even when I am in the thick of why it earned that name. I'm grateful for all the times I respond instead of react and the times I am able to keep my patience test after test. And when I fall short of that loft goal I set for myself, I'm grateful for my mom to remind me it is just part of parenting. I'm grateful to see how myself and my brother turned out and the relationship we have with my mom that gives me hope. I'm grateful to have had a great mom and to be reminded that I am one too.
What challenges ignite your self-critic? How do you regain your perspective? Who is on your support team?
May today remind us that our challenges and mistakes help shape us. May we release any criticism and find the lesson in the experience so we can continue growing and moving forward. Have a beautiful day!