Humor in What We Ask

Last night was Project Joy, my monthly goal setting group. Personally I was feeling a need this month to let go of the "timeline". As pregnancy is coming to an end and the birth of my daughter is right around the corner, I find myself losing focus on other things. I want to meet her and hold her. I want to know when she will arrive. 

Instead I set my goals in line with staying in the moment. Focusing on cherishing these last days with my husband without the demands of parenthood and enjoying the moments of rest. One thing I said I wanted to focus on this month is celebrating each moment for its own beauty.

Fast forward a few hours and the clock reads one a.m. I am sitting by the toilet with intense waves of nausea. My back is in pain and I fear trying to go back to bed because laying down makes it worse and puts me farther from the toilet. I have plenty of time to think. The humor strikes me as I sit there trying to find the beauty in this moment of misery. My mind tries to rationalize, "well THIS isn't what I meant, I meant in the normal moments." But that is not what I asked for; I can see it on my vision board in the glow of the nightlight. The best I could do was appreciate that this was all preparation for lack of sleep down the road and that I hadn't gotten sick yet.

I'm grateful for these moments of irony and humor. I'm grateful to see where the fallacy lies between what I ask and what I mean. I'm grateful the universe challenges me in these moments and I'm grateful to do my best to hold up my end of the request. I'm grateful for the reminder of acceptance and for the lesson in finding good in each moment. Most of all I'm grateful the nausea passed after a couple hours and I was able to redeem some sleep before the alarm clock sung. I'm grateful to know my strength and I'm grateful to be aware of my weaknesses too. I'm grateful this morning for the sleepiness that slows me down but keeps me in the moment.

How many times have you asked for something only to realize later that you weren't specific enough? Have you ever asked to trust the divine plan when you are already surrounded with opportunities to trust? How do you celebrate each moment for what it is?

May today bless us with gentle lessons. May we find trust and beauty in what is happening. And may we feel the loving support that is all around us. Have a beautiful day!