A little later I learned that a former family member had passed away. While I had little contact with this person since my divorce I have fond memories of the kind and loving woman she always was to me. My heart ached for all my former family at the loss of their mom and grandma. And my heart ached for a world that is less one beautiful person. Rest in peace.
Last night, shortly before bed, I learned that a dear friend of mine had been taken in a car accident a couple days ago. I had just spoke to him a little over a week ago. My text a couple days ago had gone unanswered about my daughter and I stopping by for a visit. And last night I learned why.
Unlike the events of earlier in the day, there was not a level of detachment. Cappy was an amazing man and friend. He had helped guide me on my spiritual journey and taught me tools such as Qigong and Tapping to help me find balance. Like most of my friends, I had only seen him a few times since my daughter was born. Our weekly, then bimonthly visits had dwindled from my own change in priorities.
The last time I saw him he was his vibrant self and I imagined my daughter growing up calling him "Cappy" and having an extra set of grandparents in the form of him and his wife. I grieve for myself and I grieve more for his wife.
Can there by gratitude when grief is so strong? Can there be a positive note when the heart is breaking?
I am grateful. Even through my grief I can see it. I am grateful to have met such a wonderful, inspiring man. I'm grateful to have spent time in the presence of his energy and even more to have witnessed his love for his wife. I'm grateful and honored to have called him friend; to have the privilege to call him "Cappy". I'm grateful that I had gotten to see him a few times in the last year and that he had gotten to meet my daughter. I'm grateful for all he taught me and the wisdom he shared.
I'm grateful to have known my former grandma-in-law. I'm grateful for the light she shared with the world. I'm grateful for one more day with my dog and I'm grateful to see how important it is to tell the ones we love that we love them each day. I'm grateful to be reminded how important friendships are and to make an effort to rekindle the relationships that are so important to me. And I'm grateful for the woman who reached out and let me know of my friend's passing so that I could say my goodbyes at his memorial.
My heart is tender and the tears are still falling but there is gratitude to be found in every moment. It is a belief I hold firmly in the best times and one I cling to in the hard times. Gratitude is the cruise ship on a sunny day and my lifeboat during the storm. I am grateful.
May today help us to see the light through any clouds. May we celebrate life while we have it and take the time to tell the people we love how much they mean to us. Have a beautiful day!