How did I get to such a low vibration and why is it taking so long to get out of it? Why can't I be my old cheerful self? I miss her. And I'm so sick of feeling like all I do these days is complain between a popped rib, tonsillitis, stress, and exhaustion. This is what played through my head along with a whole list of "shoulds" that are my biggest indication I have gone from love to judgement. I cried. I sobbed. I talked to my mom. And then I finally did what I new I needed. I sat down.
I sat in the light of the front door and soaked up some sun with baby on my lap. I got out my angel cards and asked for some help. I listened to my healing music. And once I felt calm and some clarity taking form, I took the time to follow my daughter's gaze. She was looking intently at my husband and my large 2016 vision board. On the left is a cork board of the things we said we wanted to accomplish this year that are in the works still. On the right there is a cork board of all the things that have been moved from the left because we have already manifested them. And in the middle is a chalk board with two sections. One says "What are you grateful for?" and the the other says "Best things that have happened so far".
I began looking over the things we had already manifested and the things we are still working on. I thought back to when we created the board and how in just a few days I would learn I was pregnant. I read over the chalkboard of gratitude and bests. It brought back memories of spending time with Grandpa, family laughs, sonogram pictures, and so much more. I began to realize that even though the shadow seemed dark, there had to be light somewhere to make the shadow. Before I could ponder that further, my daughter had a blowout large enough that we both had to change. And just like that, the shit got cleared. I had a laugh and the shadow lifted.
I'm so grateful for cosmic comedy. I'm grateful for the supports I have in place. I'm grateful to believe I am on the road to health and that my body can and will restore itself. I'm grateful to take the time to bring light back to my world instead of simply powering through. I'm grateful for all the things listed on the board. I'm grateful for all we accomplished this year. I'm grateful for the talk with my mom and the laugh with my daughter. And I'm grateful to return to a positive place. ...And I'm grateful for our veterans and all the service they have given.
How do you make your way back to the light? Do you think it's true that the darkest shadows mean there is also the brightest light nearby?
May today shine it's light on all of us, casting out our fears and surrounding us in love. Have a beautiful day!