It is January 20th, 2020 and if you have followed my blog very long it has probably come up that I love numbers. I like to give meaning to numbers that come up, especially if I am praying about something when a number catches my attention. 

For me, zero is a number of continuity, cycles, and consistency. The number two, for me, is representative of being connected. It could be the connection with a person, the connection with nature, or with the Universe and God; but it is that deep and meaningful connection. Now imagine my excitement as I saw today's numbers, a consistent and cyclical deep connection, were perfectly in line with what I have set my intentions for this year. 

I'm grateful for numbers. I'm grateful to "nerd out" to finding meaning in the numbers. I'm grateful to feel the connection to nature and Love. I'm grateful to feel supported in my intentions for the year. I'm grateful to take some time for me today. I'm grateful for transitions and, even with some bumps, I'm grateful to be changing up our schedule a bit. I'm grateful to stay warm most the day and to have a warm home to come back to in these frigid temperatures. 

What do you get excited over? In what ways do you find confirmation, comfort, or guidance in your day?

May we all feel supported as we move into this new year. May we celebrate the little things that bring us joy and peace. Have a beautiful day!

The Summer Solstice has arrived! The first day of Summer is here and with the changing of the seasons comes abundance to celebrate. 

The Summer Solstice is the day we have the most sunlight. Already the sky is turning pink as the sun begins to rise in the neighborhood. It reminds us of the light inside each of us and can serve to reignite the sparks of our passions as we evaluate what is important to us moving forward.

This is also a time of change and beginnings as we move to a new season and reconnect with nature as the weather invites us outside. We have had a particularly rainy Spring and while the rain is predicted to continue the forecast says it will hold off for a portion of today so we can celebrate.

While nature is providing an abundance of light it is a great time for me to reflect on the abundance in my life. I woke early this morning (about 4:30) to the soft rhythmic movements of my soon-to-be-born baby having hiccups. She is testing the new skills of breathing and preparing herself for the weeks to come when she will emerge into this wonderful world. 

I'm so blessed to have an amazing husband and now two beautiful daughters to celebrate. I have a job that provides income and flexibility. We have a home full of love that is supportive of our growth. I'm surrounded by friends and family who are loving, generous, and kind. And I have a dog that despite not getting the attention she deserves is loyal, loving, and always willing to be near us.  Abundance flows fully here.

I'm grateful for the changing of the seasons. I'm grateful for the Summer Solstice and to take time today to reflect and celebrate. I'm grateful to spend this day with friends. I'm grateful the weather is cooperating for some outdoor time. I'm grateful for the symbolism and reminders this day brings. I'm grateful for all the abundance in my life. I'm grateful to feel the gentle, rhythmic hiccups of my sweet, new baby. I'm grateful to take time to just stay in bed this morning and reflect on all my blessings and the beauty of this day, this moment, and this chapter of my life. I'm grateful for sunshine. I'm grateful for all mother nature provides in her balance and cycles. And I'm grateful to be a part of this beautiful world.

What are you grateful for today? What abundance can you celebrate in your life? What significance of the Solstice resonates with you the most?

May today provide balance and light. May we see clearly all our blessings and the abundance that surrounds us. May we celebrate the light within while taking time to enjoy the sunlight as well. Have a beautiful day!

Last night I learned something new. This is not unusual because I enjoy trying to learn something new each day but last night's information caught my eye unsuspectingly.

I learned that the wiggly child inside my belly is now at the full length she will be when born. Considering I still have nine weeks to go, I found this surprising. I guess I just thought as long as she was in there she was continuing to get bigger. Well she is, not in length but in girth. From this point forward she will be gaining weight and "thickening" up.

I have mentioned having themes for my daughter and I to explore this summer. This week's theme is Life Cycles. It will help give perspective on the garden we planted two weeks ago that is now sprouting. But also we read some fun books yesterday about the life cycles of butterflies and dogs. 

Receiving this new information last night about the growth that is happening with my child inside me brought to mind images from the book The Very Hungry Caterpillar. My child is "bulking up" to prepare for her transition. 

Butterflies have always been a beautiful symbol of rebirth to me. When they have reached their full potential in one form, they take time to "go inward" inside their chrysalis and then emerge as something completely different, new, and beautiful.

This child is preparing to emerge as the beautiful and unique expression of herself. She will have her own looks, her own personality, and her own way of interpreting the life that unfolds before her. And while I get the blessing of guiding and nurturing her through the next stage of life, I will no longer be her chrysalis that can shield her from everything. 

If my other daughter has taught me anything, it is that you cannot hold on to something while it is trying to fly. I am the safe perch for her to return. I am the arms open and waiting if she falls. But she is the butterfly, the explorer testing out her own path. 

There is a saying, "A mother holds her child's hand for a short while, their heart forever." There is another saying that "Being a mother is walking around with your heart outside your own body." I do not know who said either of these quotes but they ring very true to me. 

I am not sad that my girls will grow up and "fly" away to create their own lives. This is what they were born to do and I wouldn't want to stop them from that beautiful opportunity. But I do hope to always be the perch they can come back to if they need reprieve. 

It also reminds me the importance of my own self-care, both for myself and to model it for my girls. Unlike the butterfly that emerges once; we have the opportunity to re-emerge as many times as we need. We can recreate ourselves, readjust, and be reborn over and over to reach our full potential. And perhaps, with number two on the way, this is the perfect time for me to also do some reflecting and re-emerging. 

I'm grateful for the beautiful symbolism of the butterfly. I'm grateful to be the mom of an amazing little girl who is full of adventure. I'm grateful she seems to have gotten a healthy dose of both sugar and spice. I'm grateful for all I am learning about what it means to me to be a good mom. I'm grateful to learn this new beautiful fact about the child growing inside me. I'm grateful to try to enjoy our last weeks physically connected. I'm grateful for the excitement of wondering who this new little one will be. And I'm grateful to see the importance of my own self-care as I prepare to give another piece of my heart to a child walking free in this world.

What growth cycle are you in right now? Perhaps different areas of your life are in different cycles. Which areas are needing time to go inward and which areas are ready to be reborn, emerging ready to fly?

May today support us no matter which stage of the cycle we are entering. May we know in our hearts when it is time to emerge. And may we have the courage to do so with the comfort of knowing we are supported. Have a beautiful day!

Before I was a mom I thought mom was a singular job title. It meant that you had kids and you raised those kids to the best of your ability and you loved them with all your heart. It didn't sound simple and I knew it wasn't always the picture perfect movie kind of "wonderful" but I did not realize all the fine print.

If motherhood were a college degree it would probably take ten years and another several years of interning. You need a masters in early childhood education, a psychology degree, a minor in medicine, a masters in being in the moment as well as a minimum refresher in how to simply play.  And that is only the beginning. There is also some training on how to walk around with your heart outside your body and yet still have thick enough skin to see passed the honesty that comes out of tiny humans' mouths. Plus there is a whole course needed on translation.

Yesterday my daughter was in an obstinate mood. There was a refusal to use the potty. There was a refusal to put pants back on after using the potty. There was a refusal for any activity I suggested...until I suggested the next one and then only the one I suggested three minutes ago would do. And as it came time to go to bed last night, there was the refusal to get in bed. It wasn't until one this morning when she woke crying and asking me to sleep in her bed with her that the pieces of the puzzle really started clicking for me. 

I finally had the encryption key and as I dialed it into my decoder ring....oh wait, that's right, somehow motherhood didn't come with that handy tool. But her simple request to be near me, for me to stay with her and hold her hand, lit up the whole day with clarity. All her refusal and obstinance in the morning; she didn't WANT to go to the library. She said she did but her actions now made sense that she would rather stay home to play with me. And the activities she chose were all the ones that kept me most involved, she was just waiting to hear the choices. After a week of vacation being connected at the hip, coming back to a week of mommy and daddy back to work schedules and required phone calls, she was wanting to keep some of that connection now. And I can completely relate because I have felt that same tug.

I'm grateful when my daughter's words or actions finally click for me. I'm grateful to give myself some grace that sometimes these translations are slower than I wish. I'm grateful to have been patient and in the flow yesterday even as she was acting seemingly difficult. I'm grateful to have followed her unspoken lead and stayed home rather than go to the library and I'm grateful to see after-the-fact that it was not a decision I made alone. I'm grateful for the gift, challenge, and beauty of motherhood. I'm grateful it did not actually require all the years of multiple degrees though some experience in a few of these fields has definitely helped me out. I'm grateful for every seemingly random course that I took in college that now makes sense and helps me solve the riddles. And I'm grateful to have such an amazing little human that wants to be with me even when she doesn't know how to say it.

What areas of your life could use a translator or decoder ring? How do you navigate these with as much grace as possible?

​May today remind us what is important. May we give ourselves patience and grace as we navigate the trickier areas of translation. Have a beautiful day!

Early this morning I found myself in a creepy crawly dream of fears. I was walking in the basement and my dad told me I had a bunch of ticks crawling on my back and swiped them off my clothing to the floor. The ticks were fairly large as if they had already drank some blood despite the fact they had not been attached to me. My thought was that I needed to kill them so they couldn't reattach to me or my family later. 

Before I could take action several large spiders came out of the recesses of the shadows and each spider began fighting a tick. At first it was hard to tell who was winning but soon it was apparent the spiders were stronger. The spiders began feasting on their success and I had to turn away, conflicted. I was glad the ticks were gone but I am not a fan of spiders in my house either. 

I woke for a few minutes with the heebeegeebees. Then I drifted back off to sleep. For some reason there was a bag of dirt on the floor in the basement and my brother was telling me that the strange white worms had pulled the spiders into the dirt. But he and one other person were struggling to keep these wild worms in the bag of dirt. One large one came out in my direction and I went to push it back into the bag when it opened it's one fang mouth and latched on to my hand. It was a snake, not a worm. I just stood there watching its mouth pulse on my hand, unsure how to react but not really feeling pain or fear. Then my brother informed me that the snake was drinking my unborn babies blood and fear set in as we worked to get it off. 

Waking from these dreams to ask myself what I am grateful for is kind of tricky. I'm grateful it was all a dream, I guess. But what does it mean? So I did a little research on symbolism. Before my first daughter was born I was tested for Lyme's. I had some of the markers but not all though I still exhibit some symptoms. 

On our camping trip last week my daughter and I each got a few tick bites and my husband brushed nearly a dozen unattached ticks from his clothing during one of our stops. Yesterday morning I found this engorged tick lying on the floor of our library. It must have come from our dog, whom I had not thought to check thoroughly as she was not on the trip with us. So it is not so strange that ticks would show up in my dream.

But in reading the symbolism of a tick it was as expected. Something could be taking my life force or draining me, possibly without my knowledge. And there is an attachment element as well though in my dream the ticks were not attached despite looking full. 

Next was the spider, which I have explored many times. The spider represents female energy, creativity, and weaving solutions. Well these spiders definitely had the solution. They took care of those ticks for me even if they did not, by themselves, make me feel reassured.

Next I looked up the worm and snake. It turns out a worm represents our connection with nature, bringing new life to something, and renewal. The snake represents abundance but can also represent a period of transition. The bite itself is a reminder to pay attention to my energy and intentions during a transition.

I admit I will have to sit with all this a while longer to gain a bit more clarity because I still have to let go of the "ick" factor from the dream. But I'm pleased to know that the spider was a good sign of solutions. And the worm and snakes seem to apply amply to my current situation. I guess it is time to explore which things are draining me, and through me, my baby. It brings forth the element of awareness that since we have returned from our trip I have felt more tired despite keeping a pretty laid back schedule.

On to the gratitude! I'm grateful for resources that help bring clarity to symbolism. I'm grateful to be tick free and feel secure inside my home. I'm grateful for another reminder to embrace the symbolism of spiders rather than fear it. I'm grateful for my daughter sleeping in so I can write this very long blog! I'm grateful for awareness and to make time for exploring the messages of my dream deeper. I'm grateful for a new day, sunlight, and to shake off the heebeegeebees of the night.

What have your dreams been telling you? What do your fears remind you? Do you enjoy taking time to explore the messages or do you prefer to just move forward with the day?

May today give clarity to areas we seek answers. May we find peace and solutions in any lingering questions we may hold. Have a beautiful day!

There are so many events today that fill me with joy and give me the opportunity to reconnect with nature and spirit. The Spring Equinox has arrived! Not only does this officially mark the first day of Spring but it also represents balance as day and night are split equally.

We have moved out of the "dark" days of Winter and daylight hours will go from equal today to begin outnumbering the nighttime hours each day as we progress through summer. While I look forward to nice long, sunshiny days I am equally happy to breathe in this day of balance. It reminds me to take a look at my life and find which areas are needing rebalanced as well.

The first day of Spring is just a reinforcement to me of seeing the flowers come up in my garden. We are moving forward. The warmer temperatures have arrived and will continue which, for me, means a lot more outdoor time. This connection and ability to get into nature for longer periods really renews my spirit. In addition, tonight is providing a Super Moon as the moon appears huge during a Full Moon. Oh how I love the night sky!

Today is also International Day of Happiness. This is to commemorate the first UN meeting on happiness and promote the global happiness movement. For me it is a reminder to find little ways to incorporate the things that make me happy into each day. I love arts and crafts, for example, so how can I add a little art or art appreciation into today? Being in nature makes me happy so how can I take time today to reconnect with the beauty of the great outdoors? Giving to others or helping bring a smile to someone's face makes me happy. How can I spread joy today?

What makes you happy? How can you add a taste of that into each day? How can you spread happiness? 

I'm so grateful for this beautiful day packed with beautiful messages. I'm grateful for ample reason to make it outside today. I'm grateful Spring has officially arrived and I'm so grateful for the equinox balancing daylight and nighttime. I'm grateful to take time this evening to peer up and admire the moon. I'm grateful for the flowers coming up in my garden. I'm grateful for a day to recognize the importance of happiness and reflect on what I can do to increase the joy and balance in my life. I'm grateful for this day and every day I get to spend walking this path with the ones I love.

May we take the time today to reflect on how to bring balance and joy to our lives. May we take the steps necessary to implement a plan and walk our path with joy and gratitude. Have a beautiful day!

I have loved numbers since I was a kid. They were my nighttime friend when I couldn't sleep, playing games with the clock. They were predictable, at least in time and date. And I loved patterns, repetitions, or finding ways to make the first and second numbers equal the last.

When I got older I learned that numbers can have meaning. I was told that if a number comes in threes it is a message. Being someone who loves to watch for "signs" this idea resonated with me very well. What if all the  spiritual reassurances or redirections I needed could come to me through numbers?! Think about how often we see numbers in our day. This meant the universe and God could "talk" to me basically at a moments notice and all I had to do was be watching the numbers.

I won't go into what every number means for me but I will share a few. The number five for me means gratitude. It is a reminder to check in and be grateful. I cannot tell you how many times I have been feeling annoyed or been cut off in traffic and right as I feel myself start to boil I see a repetition of the number five. Pause. Breathe. What am I grateful for? 

No matter the number, I will say that each one has a positive and reassuring message. I believe there is plenty of criticism and judgment elsewhere if that is the message you are seeking. So messages from the divine are encouraging, nurturing, and positive reminders.

Today is 2/19/2019. I love dates like this with repetition. The number two, for me, represents connection. It is the reminder that we are never alone, that we are part of a team, that everything is connected. The number one is new beginnings, a fresh start, and being centered. The number nine represents things coming to an end. For me, when I see the numbers one and nine together it is the reminder of the natural cycle of everything. 

So what does this mean for today? For me, today is a divine reminder that everything isa cycle and we are a part of it. We do not have to wait for a new year to make change. We do not need to hold on to any aspect of us that isn't in our best interests until the next month or the next day or the next year. We are ever changing. We are ever growing. At any moment we can say, "This is not me anymore. I choose to let this aspect go." Every moment, every day is an opportunity to say, "this is who I choose to be." It may be the same or similar to yesterday, but it may not. Maybe we learned something about our strength or our beauty, or our divinity that means letting go of some old habits. Why wait until next year or even tomorrow? 

I'm grateful for numbers. I'm grateful to have been a "strange" kid. Heck, I'm grateful to be a little weird as an adult. I'm grateful for the positive reminders and encouragement I find through numbers. I'm grateful for all the divine reminders that help keep me on a positive and loving track. I'm grateful to get excited when I notice a date or time or license plate that speaks to me. And I'm grateful to share this piece of my wonderful and quirky world with you. I'm grateful for today's message that inspires me to make a few tweaks. And I'm grateful to step into this new day feeling supported.

Do you have a favorite number or a number that "speaks" to you? Do you ever feel divine reassurance as you travel through your day? 

May today remind us we are always supported. May we find that support even when we cannot be sitting in prayer, meditation, or on the phone with our most trusted friend. May we share the things that make us unique and celebrate the uniqueness of others because that is what makes this world so interesting. Have a beautiful day!

I love the ability of dreams to transport to a different time, dimension, or even alternative reality. I love the way I can be present in the dream and not question how a person is there when they are no longer or not yet with this world. And the ability to connect with old friends whose relationships have long been lost is always healing to me.

The last couple nights I have been sleeping well and that sleep has been filled with dream after dream. It has been beautiful. I have met up with the children of friends who do not have children yet. Last night I got to eat ice cream with two of my best friends from high school. I used to call us the Three Amigos but unfortunately only one of the friendships has survived the tests of time. (And the ice cream was pretty amazing too!)

It has been a fun journey every night and I have enjoyed the different visitors. A trip to the beach was a nice break from all this winter weather as well. 

I'm grateful to get to travel to these different realities in my dreams. I'm grateful to meet these new wonderful people and hear about all the beauty they are bringing to the world. I'm grateful to reconnect and repair relationships even if it is not within this dimension of reality. I'm grateful for the way it mends little cracks in my heart that I didn't realize were still there. I'm grateful to be able to eat anything I want in my dreams and have not nausea of pregnancy to contend with in that reality. But I'm also grateful for my life in this reality where I may have some struggles but I also have a beautiful child on the way to make it all worth it. I'm grateful for my life, this dimension, and this place that I am in right now. I'm grateful for each friend and family member that made this journey with me and is still right here by my side. I'm grateful for the lessons learned from each relationship that has fallen away. And I'm grateful for each new friendship that is being built.

What do you dream about? Who visits in your dreams? What aspects of this reality and life are you grateful for today?

May today remind us that everything happens for a reason. May we find the lessons easily and may we build the today and each day on gratitude. Have a beautiful day!

My daughter and I had a fun painting day last weekend. One of the things we did was drop blobs of paint onto paper, fold it in half, and mush it around. I love how this one turned out.

To my daughter it is a beautiful butterfly. To me it looks like an owl, ready to be made into a mask by just cutting some eye holes. I have also heard it looks like a smush-faced kitten. What do you see?

Today is a day much like this painting. I have the day off as I prepare to work this weekend. And other than a couple cleaning chores, the day is open to possibilities. What will my daughter and I choose to do? I don't know but I do believe it will be a great day!

I'm grateful for the days that get to be free-flowing. I'm grateful for a day without a list of errands and things that must be done. I'm grateful for fun, creative, crafting days. I'm grateful to have a plethora of arts and crafts supplies. I'm grateful to also have a closet full of sheets for forts and a bookshelf of books. The possibilities are truly endless. I'm grateful to make a commitment to laughing and enjoying today. I'm grateful to know it will be a great day no matter which things we choose to do simply because we get to have a fre day together. 

What is your favorite thing to do on a free day? What fills your heart with joy? How can you bring a little joy into whatever you have to do today?

May today give us plenty of opportunities for laughter. May we embrace every opportunity to love the day and create it with joy. Have a beautiful day!