As we enter into a new work week I can't help but have marriage on my mind. My husband and I were lucky to have carved out a small portion of one on one time this weekend despite multiple anti-nap shenanigans by our girls. Also this week marks my parents' anniversary, forty-one years. 

It was said so well in Princess Bride. "Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam, and wove, twue wove." It is said so well not because of the humor, though I do love that movie, but because of how it is said. Marriage is a blessed arrangement. It is hopefully a dream within a dream and true love. But ike the pronunciation, or perhaps just enunciation, it is not perfect.

Marriage, true marriage wasn't meant to be picture perfect. It wasn't meant to be the reflection of the crystal goblets and eating off the fine china in candle light with never a negative word said. It was meant to be spaghetti left on the chair and sat in, bonfires that sometimes get larger than planned, and renovations both of the home and of the relationship.

We weren't made to be rigidly one way for our whole life. Life shapes us and we shift and adapt in return. Marriage is like life. Things come our way and we each adapt in our own way. The beauty is being able to adapt our own way and still respect, love, and if we're lucky even understand our mate. Marriage is the ability to go through all that and still take each others' hand and say "what's next?" 

I'm grateful to witness the beauty of my parents' marriage. I'm grateful for all they have taught me as they navigated their marriage. I'm grateful to hold hope for my husband and I celebrating forty-one years of marriage even though we started much later. I'm grateful for Princess Bride and for this quote that is beautifully perfect in its imperfect delivery. I'm grateful to be walking my path with my soulmate and to make the commitment to each other even amongst the distractions of life. I'm grateful for our beautiful daughters and even their shenanigans. 

What does marriage look like to you? What is the most important aspect of your own view of marriage?

May we cherish the moments we have with the ones we love. May we come through each bump stronger and more in love. And may we renew our commitment each day. Have a beautiful day!

I enjoy reading books that make me think or help me grow. There are plenty of books out there I have enjoyed on positive parenting and several "self-help" books that have inspired me. Brené Brown is one author I have enjoyed, especially her book The Gift of Imperfection.

Recently I read a book called Unglued. It was a little more bible focused than my nature but there was a lot of great take-away thoughts. The part that touched me most was not getting caught up in the moments we fall back to old habits or reactions, but rather recognizing that we have made imperfect progress away from those reactions to be able to "fall back". 

We are not perfect. We were not made to be perfect. And how each of our "best" looks is entirely different. It is dependent on so many factors including experiences, beliefs, situations, and personality. 

Overnight I had an experience that gave me the gift of seeing how far I have come in one area of my life. In 2011 I was diagnosed with PTSD. It stemmed from a childhood trauma and was compounded, or at least made more obvious, by a few experiences in my young adult life. One way it presented in my life was me being a very light sleeper. To feel secure enough to sleep I needed a small amount of light, silence and a closed, if not locked, door. 

In my quest to help heal some of this I had read a book about another woman who had gone through something vaguely similar. In the book she had confessed that she had not been able to get over the need for the locked door. She shared her heartbreak of broken promises to her young daughter as she would try but fail to be able to leave this open access to herself at night. Her story made me all the more determined to find a way to overcome this.

Fast forward to meeting my husband. His sleep needs are complete darkness and a sound machine or fan. When we moved in together he accommodated my need for light with a small runway of those battery operated tealight candles. We slept with the door fully latched but not locked and the sound machine turned way down. Over the first year something amazing happened. For the first time in my life I was able to get full nights of deep sleep feeling completely safe. Oh there were nights that didn't fit that description but more and more I began to sleep. Now I too prefer the sound of a fan and darkness, with a small flashlight in reach. And since my daughter has come along I have found the peace and security to leave our door open just a little. It makes me feel a little closer and more available to her, even back when she was in a crib. 

Overnight last night was my first real test of this security. As I lay sleeping there was suddenly something grasping my ankle and I could feel the presence of someone in the dark by my bed. There was that moment of freezing, stiff as mind raced to place where I was and what was happening. And yet within that trigger there was the presence of mind to not react, just remain still. Perhaps it was the comforting gentle snore of my husband next to me or the recognition of the gentleness of the movement. I took a breath to bring me fully into the moment just as my toddler pulled herself up onto the bed and sat next to my leg silently. 

Now my daughter has entered our room during the night only maybe half a dozen times since moving into a big girl bed nearly a year ago. Mostly she prefers to stay put in her room and call out over the monitor. But in the past when she has entered she just gives the door a shove and it bangs against the wall waking the whole room giving us plenty of time to respond before she even approaches the bed. 

I sat up slowly and put my arm around her so I wouldn't bump her off the bed. In her quiet, innocent voice she said, "I can't find my water bottle." We both went back to her room and found it hidden down in the covers. I stayed there for a few minutes holding her hand while she drifted back to sleep and that is when it fully hit me. I had just done it. I had experienced what five years ago would have been my biggest trigger and I had remained present and been able to respond calmly. My reward was a calmly snoozing child and a heart bursting with gratitude.

I cannot say for sure that this will always be my reaction. But I am beyond grateful to recognize my imperfect progress and have this beautiful moment of success. 

I'm grateful for self-work and self-awareness. I'm grateful for my amazing husband and all he has done to work with me and help me feel safe. I'm grateful to know what a good night's sleep feels like now, even if it is frequently interrupted now that I have a child. I'm grateful for the idea of imperfect progress and celebrating our steps forward rather than focusing on the times we stumble back. I'm grateful for all the beautiful messages there are to find in books or amazing speeches. I'm grateful for all the people out there that share their inspiring stories in hopes it helps even one person on their own journey. But most of all I'm grateful for that moment tonight when a mother's heart and a breath of presence won out over a reaction to a trauma so far in my past.

What does your imperfect progress look like today? How can you celebrate how far you have come? 

May today remind us the beauty of even the smallest baby steps. May we find comfort and gratitude in the imperfect progress we make each day of our journey. Have a beautiful day!

This weekend is Father's Day. Being a dad is not an easy job. It isn't even like it was in the forties and fifties where you go to work to bring home the bacon, come home and maybe dole out a little discipline and then read the paper. I know even back then that is not how all families worked; but today there is a lot more demand for dads to be involved, active parents.

My husband and I work different schedules so that most of the time it is one of us with my daughter. We each get a shot at solo parenting pretty much every day as well as a chance to get out in the business world. It gives us a lot more understanding for each other. We both help with tasks around the house and I will admit, because of work schedules, my husband does more of the dinner cooking. By all accounts he is whatI would call Super Dad.

When our daughter (pretty soon I'm going to have to start saying first daughter) was born he stumbled across an article about there only being 940 Saturdays between when your child is born and when they turn eighteen. It is the reminder that time flies and to make each moment count. 

We have a patch sewn on to our hiking backpack reminding us of this number. Time is fleeting. Kids grow up quickly. I still cannot believe that my bitty is going to be three in a couple months. The 940 is a beautiful reminder to cherish the moments we have and to get out and enjoy them. 

I could not have asked for a better dad for my girls. My husband and I started "late" having kids so we are older than either of us planned when we dreamed of being parents. Yet there is beauty in having ourselves a little more figured out and having some adult-ing under our belt. The self-awareness alone goes an extra mile when my daughter is having a rough day. 

Yes, the energy level is not quite as high as when I was in my twenties. And yes, I could definitely pull all nighters with a lot more stamina back then. But finding an amazing husband to create this family with and watching him grow as a dad is priceless.

I'm grateful for an amazing husband. I'm grateful he is also an amazing father to our kids. I'm grateful for all the ways he exceeds any expectations I may have had about what a dad "should" do. I'm grateful for the way he can get a squealing laughter to fill the house by playing with my daughter. I'm grateful for the way we balance each other in giving our daughter independence. I'm grateful he found the 940 patch to serve as a reminder to us both. And I'm grateful for all the ways we try to make each day, each weekend, and each month count. I'm grateful to have grown up with a great dad. I'm grateful to watch my husband making those strong, beautiful bonds with our daughter as well.

What would you do with 940 weekends? What makes a great dad in your eyes? How can you honor the dads in your life this weekend?

​May today remind us to appreciate the people around us. May we remember how short time together can be and make the most of each moment. Have a beautiful day!

Today is National Siblings Day. Family is so important because is probably the single largest factor in shaping who we become. Siblings play a big role of that as we learn where we fit into the big picture. 

Siblings are the perfect combination of being a blunt mirror for showing us who we are while also teaching us how to interact with others. From "simple" lessons like sharing to the more complex lessons of navigating a relationship as people grow and change; siblings are a great tool in understanding the larger, more complex world.

There is no one like a sibling. It is someone to lean on when there is a loss or pain in the family. They are the only ones that understand the intricacies of how you grew up and can relive the best and worst moments of that with you. 

I have one older brother. I cannot even tell you the millions of lessons I have learned from him. But I can say that I am grateful to still have a relationship with him that includes seeing him multiple times a week and that even as an adult the lessons continue. 

For me, there is something special about being the younger sibling. In some ways there was an added safety net of protection growing up because I knew my big brother would help "fight" my battles...as long as they weren't against him. I also got the benefit of observing and learning through his "mistakes" or trials. As a pretty quiet and shy kid both of these perks were very useful.

Today I watch as my brother runs a successful business, oozes confidence, and has more charisma than can hardly fit inside one room. I know the challenges he has gone through to get here and yet seeing him from across the room you wouldn't know. He is the epitome of strength yet still shows his large, generous heart. He is a great brother and an even better uncle. I am so proud and inspired by the person he has become. 

I'm grateful for all my brother has taught me. I'm grateful to think I may have taught him a thing or two too. I'm grateful to get to work together and see each other a few times a week. I'm grateful to still get to be an observer, learning from him. I'm grateful to have a close-knit family and to have some female cousins that were like sisters to me. I'm grateful my daughters will get to have a special sibling bond that can only come from the sister connection. I'm grateful and excited to get to watch them each grow into individuals and hopeful I can help them create a positive relationship to cherish. 

Do you have siblings? If not, who filled that role for you? What is the best attribute or lesson you learned from your sibling?

May today remind us that family is so very important. May we remember there are still plenty of lessons to learn and share as we age. Have a beautiful day!

People talk about soulmates. Sometimes it is used synonymously with a lover, but to me a soulmate is more. I believe we have more than one soulmate. One of those may turn out to be the person you marry but I believe that friends, cousins, parents, or even someone you have only conversed with one time can all be soulmates. To me, a soulmate is a person you are linked with on a deeper level that this earth who helps you travel the path you were sent here to navigate.

Some people have a hard time with the idea when I say at least one of my exes was a soulmate. And I think it is a misconception that soulmates always get along or never drive us crazy. This myth was probably started by the same people who started the myth about a "perfect" marriage never having a disagreement. It just isn't realistic. What makes a great marriage is the ability to work through it and be loving and respectful. And a soulmate?

Well sometimes they are like a wrecking ball to knock you back on course when you are losing your way. Sometimes they are the people that push your buttons and make you take a look at that shadow side of yourself so you can grow and bloom into the version of you that can make your dreams come true. Other times they are the gentle, loving, guiding voice that helps you dust off and let's you be vulnerable and encourages you to keep being you above all else. 

My husband is one of my soulmates. I met him before we ever met in person but that is a story for another time. We do not have a "perfect" marriage but we have a great one that we are both willing to work at to keep it that way. 

The soulmate I want to talk about today is my mom. I would not have made it this far in life without my mom's support, love, and gentle nature that nurtured me. She is a pillar of support and always just a call away. I talk to her every day Whether I need parenting advice, to vent, or just to hear about how her day is going; she is there.

She is my hero and someone I can look up to, not because of any false pillar I have built for her, but because of the beautiful person she is inside and out. 

I'm so grateful that I was blessed with such a great mom. I'm grateful to have someone who has accepted me for me since the day I was born. I'm grateful for all we have in common and all we have different that makes our relationship strong. I'm grateful for her patience. I'm grateful for all she has taught me, both through words and actions. I'm grateful to get to celebrate another birthday with my mom and try to make it special just like she always made mine special growing up. I'm grateful for all my soulmates no matter the role they played. And I'm grateful for the beautiful path I get to travel each day.

Who are your soulmates? Who has made the biggest impact in your life? Who would you call every day?

May today let us see and appreciate the role of soulmates in our lives. May we honor the ones who have been with us for the duration. Have a beautiful day!

When I embarked on this journey of motherhood I knew it wouldn't be an easy job. But I did think that all of my experience with children would give me some kind of advantage and that there would be certain areas that I would naturally be good at as a mother. Maybe to some extent it is true but in many ways it only raised the bar I set for myself making it harder when I do not reach it.

I am never harder on myself than when it comes to how I am raising my tiny human. My personality has always leaned to self-critical but I had done a lot of self-work before my daughter was born to help moderate that aspect. But when it comes to parenting I struggle to remind myself that there is a learning curve and I am still just human.

Coming out of a challenging weekend I can definitely say I am grateful for a supportive, hands-on husband that helps with our daughter. When I can feel I've been pushed to my limit it is so nice to say "tag! Your turn!" and take a moment to go breathe. 

My husband is great about being on my team in the thick of it. And I am so blessed for not only his active parenting but for his different perspective. He is great about catching me when my wards turn inward and reminding me I'm a good mom.

Yet when I am spiraling and it feels like there is no end to the tunnel of two year old tests there is no one better than my mom to call. Why? Not because she says anything different than my husband usually but because she has BEEN there! She is a survivor of not only the toddler years but also the teenager years. She has watched her kids make good and bad choices, witnessed the fallout, watched our hearts be broken and been right there for us as we rebuilt. 

I do not remember what I was like at two. I do not remember my mom losing her cool or pulling her hair out. I remember all the great times. All the calm lessons and all the time spent together is what makes up my memories of youth. But my mom remembers. She remembers all the times she felt she was screwing up or that she was at the end of her rope. She remembers losing her temper. And she can say, "look how close we are now."

I'm so grateful for all my husband does. I'm grateful to have someone to bounce ideas off of and to catch me when I am being too hard on myself. I'm grateful for all the ways his perspective differs from my own and the ways we adapt to blend the two thoughts. I'm grateful for my daughter who if a great kid even on her worst days. I'm grateful to not believe in the "terrible twos" even when I am in the thick of why it earned that name. I'm grateful for all the times I respond instead of react and the times I am able to keep my patience test after test. And when I fall short of that loft goal I set for myself, I'm grateful for my mom to remind me it is just part of parenting. I'm grateful to see how myself and my brother turned out and the relationship we have with my mom that gives me hope. I'm grateful to have had a great mom and to be reminded that I am one too.

What challenges ignite your self-critic? How do you regain your perspective? Who is on your support team?

May today remind us that our challenges and mistakes help shape us. May we release any criticism and find the lesson in the experience so we can continue growing and moving forward. Have a beautiful day!

Yesterday was cloudy and cold. It was one of those days that I would love to just curl up inside and read books under a nice thick blanket. Instead I rushed all over getting my daughter to school. running to work, doing an errand just to pick my daughter up from school to bring her home and feed her to turn around a couple hours later and run to work. You know, a typical Thursday.

As I was driving my daughter home from school she started giggling in the back seat and saying "peek-a-boo!" I smiled and looked in the mirror ready to play back, but it wasn't me she was looking at this time. "Who are you playing with," I asked. "The moon is playing with me!"

The clouds made the sun look like a full moon in the sky and as the denser clouds moved passed it would disappear and reappear. She was absolutely tickled that it was playing with her. I have to admit it was neat watching as I sat at a red light, peeking in and out. It was also amazing just how much the clouds could dim the sun. But my daughter chose not to focus on the cold or the cloudiness. She was focused on the playful interaction they were having. 

Isn't it amazing how a new perspective can brighten the day. It gave me a fresh outlook and her playful game stuck in my head. The world isn't circumstances happening TO us, it is events interacting with us and we have the ultimate say which way to interpret it. I will try to remember this playful perspective as I continue through this Winter especially.

I'm grateful for the gift of a positive perspective when my own is cloudy. I'm grateful for my daughter's playfulness. I'm grateful to interact with nature. I'm grateful for a fun little game that makes my daughter giggle. And I'm grateful for the sweet sound of her giggle that fills my heart. 

I'm grateful for changes in weather that provide new perspectives. And I'm grateful to live in an area where the weather changes frequently. I'm grateful for the sun and moon and all that they provide. I'm grateful for a new day and the possibility of new games and new positive perspectives. 

What is your favorite thing about a cloudy day? Have you ever played peek-a-boo with the moon, or sun? 

May today remind us to lighten up and play a little. May we see the positive and playful perspective in each situation and may we accept someone else's playful perspective when we struggle to find one ourselves. Have a beautiful day!

As a mom I do my best to model the behaviors I want my daughter to learn. Some days it feels like she only picks up the moments I lose my patience or slip up on censorship. 

We got her a book called The Caring Me I Want To Be. It talks about how to be kind and caring and addresses how sometimes we may forget to act that way but we always have the choice to apologize and return to being "a caring me". She loves the book and a common compliment in our house has become, "oh that is such a good caring me you are being." She really enjoys hearing the specific things she does that make her a "caring me" like the book.

Our dog had a really rough week last week and had to go to the vet twice. Even though both things turned out to be fairly minor in the grand scheme it definitely resonated with the sadness of losing our other dog in June. 

My daughter kept wanting to play fetch with her but our dog just wasn't up for it. I explained to my daughter that she wasn't feeling well and needed to just rest. Next thing I know my daughter has brought over her guitar and is telling Pippin (the dog), "I will play a song for you. It will make you feel better." 

I love my daughter. And there are a hundred times a day my heart swells at things she says or does that are cute. But watching her sing and play her guitar for her fur-sister my heart simultaneously melted and exploded with love. She makes me want to be an even better "caring me" and I hope she always keeps this generous, loving heart.

I'm so grateful for my daughter and all she teaches me. I'm grateful for what a beautiful person she is and her huge heart. I'm grateful for my sweet fur-baby that is patient and gentle with my daughter. I'm grateful for all the little quirks and silliness of Pippin's personality. I'm grateful last week's ailments were minor in the grand scheme. I'm grateful to see that there is still some healing to do on the wounds of losing my other fur-baby. I'm grateful to work each day to be a "caring me" and model that behavior for my daughter. I'm equally grateful for all the ways she models it back to me.

How do you model being a "caring me"? What can you do today to help someone in need or give back?

May today remind us to treat one another with care. May we practice patience with those who test it and love to all we meet. Have a beautiful day!

This weekend was full of celebration! Friday night we went to the local petting farm with my daughter for their annual fundraiser. We did a hayride and fed the goats. Most of all we had a fun family evening.

Saturday we were up in time to drive an hour to one of my favorite small town festivals. We watched the parade, ate festival food, and walked the craft booths. Then my daughter and dog went to have some time at my parents' house while my husband and I went out to a fancy Italian dinner.

Sunday brought more celebration as my family spoiled me with gifts over lunch. 

The plan was to go to the pumpkin patch Sunday afternoon but unfortunately that had to be canceled much to my daughter and my disappointment. We had a nice, relaxing evening at home instead.

I'm so grateful for an amazing family. I'm grateful to have so many options of celebrations this time of year. I'm grateful for my husband and daughter's willingness to go to these fun events with me. I'm grateful for a little adult time as well as lots of family time. I'm grateful for all the effort my husband went to this weekend to make me feel spoiled and celebrated. I'm grateful for all the great food and desserts. I'm grateful for all the gifts that were exactly what I wanted. And I'm so grateful to feel the love and abundance rain down on my birthday weekend.

How do you like to celebrate your birthday? Who do you enjoy sharing your special day?

​May today remind us that every day can be a celebration of the wonderful blessings in our lives. May we be vocal about the gratitude we feel for the ones we love. Have a beautiful day!

There are a million ways my husband shows he loves me. One of those ways is to cook amazing meals. He loves to try new recipes or tweak ones he already has, and he is great at it.

I tend more to stick with the same recipes and the same dishes because I know I love them. Until I met my husband I was a pretty picky eater and rarely tried new things.

On our honeymoon I got to try a lot of different things, partly because that is what being in a different country is all about. One of the meals in particular was amazing! Much to my husband's amusement, I raved about it and wanted to know what was this exotic soup. It was Butternut Squash Soup.

Each year, usually as Autumn is sinking in and the leaves are beginning to change, my husband will come home with the ingredients and make me Butternut Squash Soup from scratch. I love it!

Even though time has passed and our lives have changed with the addition of a small human; there is something about this soup that transports us back to the honeymoon. There is something about the love that is cooked in that makes it extra special. And it is one of many ways I fall deeper in love with my husband.

I'm grateful for my husband. I'm grateful for the bumps that made us stronger and the joys that build us up. I'm grateful for our honeymoon that kicked off our adventure together as a married couple. I'm grateful for all the adventures we have seen since. I'm grateful for our daughter, our biggest adventure yet! I'm grateful for all the ways he shows his love and caring nature. And I'm so grateful for his amazing cooking skills. I'm grateful for Butternut Squash Soup and for love, made from scratch.

What is one of your favorite recipes? Who do you love and what ways do you show it? What makes you feel loved?

May today open our eyes to how others show us they care. May we embrace their gestures and return it with love of our own. Have a beautiful day!