The last seven months have been mostly sheltered at home. We have gotten out for an occasional playdate at the park and I still work, of course, but mostly we have been home. 

Being home means we have been exposed to very few germs. In the short term this has been nice because there haven't been the typical colds and other bugs. It has also meant the blessing of not getting covid. It also probably means our immune systems are a little out of practice fighting off these little bugs. 

Last night when my little one came down with a fever I just assumed it was teething. In the wee hours she woke burning up, not the low grade temperature she had when she'd gone to bed. Needless to say, there have been lots of cuddles and snuggles since. 

Seeing my baby not feeling well is not fun. The only upside is I love cuddling my babies. They are growing up so fast and it is nice to stop and just snuggle. Even in our slower pace life these days these days my little one is on the go. While I pray she feels better soon, I will take the snuggles in this moment.

I'm grateful to snuggle. I'm grateful she is willing to take the medicine to bring her fever down. I'm grateful for her sweet kisses. I'm grateful for the sweet way her fingers wrap around me and hold tight. I'm grateful to be blessed with two sweet girls. I'm grateful we have been so healthy the last seven months. I'm grateful to know health will return. I'm grateful for a little bug to keep our immune systems exercised.

How have you been feeling? When was the last time you had a good snuggle? 

May health be the norm and may we always find our way back to the balance of health when it waivers. May we get all the snuggles we need in sickness and in health. Have a beautiful day!

When I am present to the here and now, there are no comparisons to make. I am not judging this moment by any other. I'm not bringing other frustrations from earlier or anxieties about later into the equation. It is only this moment. 

In this moment I can feel the firmness of the cushion against my back and my booty. I can feel the cold of my feet as they criss-cross on opposite calves. I can feel the tickle in my ear as my hair hangs loose. I can hear the faint ocean sounds over the monitor as my baby sleeps and the deep breathing of my dog resting nearby. 

I can feel which muscles are a little tight by the pull they give on my ribs as I try to take an extra deep breath. I can feel the cold of my water as it goes down my throat. 

It is a refreshing pace. There is a deep comfort in being in this moment even as my fingers press the keys, clicking on my keyboard. This moment is peaceful. This moment is calm.

While I am still practicing finding the here and now as two kids run around me issuing demands, I will continue to try. Why? Because if I can find it in those moments, I can parent from a whole new level of peace. From this level that is right here in THIS moment. I will keep working toward that but for now, back to this moment, I will just enjoy.

I'm grateful for this beautiful moment. I'm grateful to tune in and feel my body. I'm grateful for the soft, comforting noises of home around me. I'm grateful for the click of my keyboard that seems somehow detached from myself even as I know I am typing it. I'm grateful for this comfortable seat and that my feet are warming against my legs. I'm grateful to focus and feel as the breath comes in and out. I'm grateful for the here and now; it really is the most wonderful place.

Where are you? What sensations do you feel? What is your focus? How do you find ways to be present throughout the day?

May today remind us how beautiful the current moment is when we take the time to be in it. May we celebrate each day, each moment, and each breath as a blessing. Have a beautiful day!

Recently I have started re-learning how to sit with discomfort. As this pandemic has poked along I find myself more and more trying to escape the uncomfortable feelings of stress or anxiety by ignoring them. This doesn't work. Stuffing it down and deep has just left other discomforts and more reaction-based behaviors to minor plot-twists. 

So I am starting the uncomfortable, yet very healing work of feeling. As someone who is sensitive and highly emotional it definitely takes some processing time. Already I am noticing differences in not only how I feel but how I respond to life. 

Today I faced one of my most uncomfortable situations. Both of my girls were due for shots and I was the sole parent able to take them...at the same time. My oldest LOVES her doctor and doctor's visits but she was a little nervous about the idea of shots because it has been two years since she had to get any. The little one is avidly and vocally against even going near the doctor's office. I'm talking it took three whole minutes just to get her weight because she fought so hard against being put in (and staying in) the baby scale seat. 

Needless to say the nurse and doctor were so awesome and patient as always but it was an emotional challenge for me and the girls. Since the little one was struggling so much with the whole situation and already revved up, they suggested doing her shots first. As you might imagine, my oldest who is also very sensitive (both emotionally and to noises like a screaming sister) suddenly decided her nervousness about a shot was absolutely validated and she started freaking out about having to get one next. 

I will admit that in my own frazzled, broken-heart-because-my-babies-are-crying state of mind part of me wanted to just brush all the emotions away. Find a quick fix and get everyone back to quiet and happy. But I also recognized this was a perfect test to the work I have been doing AND a very important teaching moment for the girls.

We did hugs. I took LOTS of deep breaths. I offered that idea to my preschooler a few times who was having none of it. So we sat it out for a few minutes. Then I started doing a body scan out loud for myself. This is when you check in with each part of your body to try to identify how each area is feeling and see if any of it can be shifted. 

Out loud I said, "Wow, that was overwhelming and a little scary. Let me check. My head has a little headache. My jaw is a little tight (rubbing it with a free finger). Whew! My shoulders are pulled up and my heart is feeling sad to see my girls sad. What about you?" I walked my preschooler through thinking about each area of her body which gave her a way to move away from the upset of the shot but still stay in tune with how she was feeling. As she calmed down and our voices went back and forth I could feel the baby calming in my arms as well. 

My preschoolers tears still came and went for the next couple hours. The baby moved on pretty quickly as she tends to do once we had left the doors of the building. And I was able to stay in the conscious response level of my emotions without ignoring them OR letting them overwhelm me. It was a beautiful win. I won't say it was perfect, it is a work in progress, but I walked out feeling like I had just passed the national exams again. 

I'm grateful for this win. I'm grateful to do the work. I'm grateful to be taking time to tune in each day and see what I need emotionally. I'm grateful to be taking a more active and conscious approach to my mental health. I'm grateful for the podcasts and resources I have to support me in this journey. I'm grateful to be there for my girls physically and emotionally. I'm grateful for having a great pediatrician that really connects with my preschooler. I'm grateful to have two sweet kids that are so very very different from each other. 

What was your win today? How do you take time to process pain, discomfort, and emotions? What is your favorite technique for staying present?

May today give us the courage for growth. May we do the hard work now to move us forward. Have a beautiful day!

Happy Monday, everyone! I'm so grateful to just sit here in this moment of silence and contemplate what is going right today. I say this because for the last hour my baby girl has been screaming without me being able to translate what is wrong and help her. It is the part of motherhood that truly rattles me to my core. Now that she is asleep, the silence really is golden.

The weather is beautiful today. We were able to get outside twice, once for a nature walk to collect leaves and once for a picnic lunch. I am so grateful we are able to be outside in short sleeves for a few more days. I'm grateful for all the Autumn foliage. I'm grateful for the beautiful colors and variety of shapes in the leaves we found on the ground. Even though Sycamore trees are my favorite, I LOVE Maple leaves this time of year!

I got to hear the beautiful sound of my girls giggling and playing together this morning. It is a rare gift for my preschooler to get ready quickly and easily so that we have time to eat AND play before the baby's nap. Today provided that gift. I'm so grateful for these little blessings, these little moments that fill my heart.

I'm grateful to take control of my thoughts today through exhaustion and feeling frazzled and keep focused on the positive. I'm grateful for this moment of silence (yes, again, because this blog has already been interrupted twice and it is once again blissfully quiet). I'm grateful for the beauty of nature, nurturing me today. I'm grateful my husband took the time to point out the moon to me today as it hung right above our house mid-morning. I'm grateful for fun books to read and a very hands-on-nature theme this week for homeschool lessons. I'm grateful to watch my preschooler making huge progress in some skills already after only about a month of school. I'm grateful for my dog who is content to just lie next to me and rest as I soak up these quiet moments.

What are you grateful for today? What gifts did this Monday provide? What do you look forward to each week?

​May today remind us there is beauty in each day. May we take time to enjoy the pauses and the quiet and just soak in the blessings around us. Have a beautiful day!

Today was a beautiful reminder to make room, to allow space for things to happen. It started when my mom surprised me by picking up the kids in the morning, allowing me a full hour to get stuff done. Let me tell you, it is AMAZING the amount of stuff I can get accomplished in one hour without two kids underfoot! 

Then during family time at my parents' house in the afternoon my oldest child was in one of her "crap on mommy" moods. She was saying hurtful things and try as I may my poker face is nonexistent. I walked away to take a little time to regroup and instead I hear her telling my sister-in-law that I was sad and she didn't know why. My first instinct was to be embarrassed and try to "suck it up" and go back to the family room and play it off like nothing was wrong. But instead I just sat still and let myself continue to process the feelings. 

My sister-in-law, who is amazing, came back to check on me. She knows my preschooler has a knack for finding the right words to break my heart. We talked it over and she provided kind words and support. It was actually really nice to talk it out and not try to fake it through. It was nice to allow that space for someone to come in and be with me. 

Later I had to go to the bathroom and jokingly I told my preschooler I needed her to come read me a book. She always asks for books to be read to her while she goes to the bathroom, even though half the time she is done before we even open a book. Much to my surprise, since it hadn't been that long and we hadn't really spoken since the hurtful words she had said, she jumped up and ran and brought a book. She sat on the stool in front of me like I do for her and she told me the story as best she could from memory, pointing out the important pictures on the page. In and of itself that made me happy that she was taking time with me. 

The book she chose was "Room on the Broom" by Julia Donaldson. It is a really cute, kind book that is perfect this time of year as we approach Halloween. In the book the witch always makes room on the broom for whoever is in need of a ride. As my daughter finished reading she said, "I would make room on the broom for you, Mommy, right here." What had started as a joking comment had made room for this adorable and endearing reconnection for us. It reminded me how important it is to just make room and allow space for the beautiful things in life to come in.

I'm grateful my daughter would make room for me. I'm grateful for her kind words and to know that ultimately she is a kind soul. I'm grateful to be her mom. I'm grateful to make room for these special connections. I'm grateful for my sister-in-law who has been so amazing during the the good times and bumpy ones. I'm grateful for all my parents do to help my husband and I get things done. I'm grateful for family time and seeing the love shared. I'm grateful to make space for the beauty to come in to my life.

How do you make space? What would you make room for in your life? How much space would you give to allow beauty to come in?

May today fill the space with gratitude and beauty. May we remember to let go and allow space for it to flow into our lives. Have a beautiful day!

Today is a great combination of noteworthy days. It is National Do Something Nice Day, which probably should be a goal every day but it is a good reminder all the same. It is also National Child Health day. The beauty of this combination is that doing something nice for a child also supports their mental health. 

Obviously it is Monday, so a homeschool day. Our theme this week is Apples so we have all sorts of fun activities planned. We had a lot of fun snuggling up and reading some books about apple trees and picking apples. We made a Family (Apple) Tree, did some finger painting, and worked on writing the letter T. But what could be more fun than picking "apples" ourselves? So we taped some apples up to the frame of our indoor swing and jumped around trying to pick them off. Of course we couldn't eat all those "apples" so we fed them to the rocking horse. 

In the spirit of apple week we also got out our farm toy set with the apple tree that magically dumps its apples into the wagon below. And we spent some time playing non-apple games as well. 

Doing something nice doesn't have to be a big ordeal. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture. It does even have to be (and I definitely don't suggest this) caving to a child's every whim. 

Nice can be a simple hello. It can be holding the door for a stranger or leaving the change in the spare pennies jar for someone to use. It can be letting someone else go first. And when it comes to kids, nice is even easier. It can be reading them their favorite book or even just letting them tell you their story without being distracted by the dishes. It can be taking a few extra minutes to give those extra dozen hugs before you leave. And if you can be silly with them and let yourself loose to play, all the better. 

Mental health can be just as important as physical health. It is the challenge we all face during these pandemic times. It is important to find a balance. 

I'm grateful to get to homeschool my daughter this year. I'm grateful for all the people who have assisted in helping me find safer outings and playdates so my daughters can still be social. I'm grateful to take time to play today. I'm grateful to recognize when my daughter is truly just needing me to stop and listen (and really isn't that what we ask of kids all the time?). I'm grateful for some fun activities with the apple theme this week. I'm grateful to get creative. I'm grateful for this particular combination of days to celebrate. I'm grateful for each day I get to spend with my girls.

What nice thing can you do today? How can you help support a child's health? How can you support your own health today?

May today remind us to take care of ourselves and those around us. May we recognize the power of just listening. May we find something nice to do others (and for ourselves) each day. Have a beautiful day!

Do you ever have one of those moments when you hear yourself saying the same thing over and over to your child (or coworker or whoever) and you realize the message is just as much for yourself? I had one of those moments today.

My little one, the more cautious of my two kids, decided over the last few days that it is more fun to stand at the top of the slide and try to walk down. Even though she has become steady walking around these days, downhill is definitely not in her skill set yet. Despite several near wipeouts (that her sister or I caught her right before face-plant) she continued to stand at the top of the slide. In fact, she heard us saying "sit down" so many times that she would stand up there calling "sit down, sit down" to get our attention. 

There is a balance as a mom in not giving attention for negative attention-seeking behaviors and not letting your child have a serious injury. In this case that led to a lot of walking back and forth. The issue was I was in some pain and coming back and forth between trying to figure out dinner and keeping my child's head round (and at least fairly un-lumpy) was aggravating it more. By the time I was nearly through cooking I had about reached my pain threshold, which I might add is pretty high. 

Once my husband got off work he kept asking me if I wanted to sit down but I thought moving and being upright would be better. Yet as I finished up the dishes and went into the living room to spend time with my family I found the opposite was true. Sitting on the floor took nearly all the pain away. 

I couldn't help but chuckle at the irony. I had told my daughter to sit down dozens of times, listened to my older daughter say it another dozen times to her sister, and refused my husband's encouragement to sit down only to have the pain subside when I finally sat. For some reason I was stuck in the "power through" mentality. 

How many other times have I found myself stuck in that mentality? My head telling me to just keep plowing forward when my body is clearly telling me the opposite; how many times? So what is my resistance to just sitting down?

I have a few obvious ideas but it will be fun to sit with this question for the next few days and see what all emerges. It is a good reminder and one that I hopefully won't need to keep repeating. There is nothing wrong with just sitting down. 

I'm grateful for a little chuckle tonight. I'm grateful the pain passed. I'm grateful to have gotten to make and serve my family dinner. I'm grateful to have several eye opening and introspective moments this weekend. I'm grateful for my little one's growing vocabulary. I'm grateful for my older one's growing ability to verbalize how she is feeling. I'm grateful to hear I am a good mom, because sometimes in the daily grind of it all it is easy to forget the things we are doing right. I'm grateful for family meals and lots of time together this weekend.

Have you ever had a moment like this, where you realize your words were just as much for you? How did you respond?

May today remind us we are human. May we remember we are all deserving of rest and taking that time to meet our needs is a priority. May we always be willing to hear the message to ourselves in our words. Have a beautiful day!

Today's high is seventy-six degrees while tomorrow is supposed to be nearly fifteen degrees cooler. It was a no-brainer to make sure we got some time outdoors this morning.

Rather than walk the neighborhood or find a park trail I decided to give the playground a try. One benefit of homeschooling while most kids have returned to school is that on weekdays the park is like a ghost town. The mom in me a year ago would have preferred to find a park with lots of kids for my daughter to interact with and socialize. These days with the pandemic we seek playgrounds that are devoid of all other people. 

The sunshine itself kills the virus pretty quickly and being outside in the midwest wind to begin with does a pretty good job of making me feel comfortable at the playground if no one else is there. And today was the perfect combination of beautiful sunny day and open playground to run and be silly. (I will admit the other benefit of not having kids her age to play with there means I have an excuse to play on the slides and equipment too!)

It still is hard to watch how my little one struggles with these new situations. She doesn't remember playing at the park a year ago, mostly because she was about four months old and in a stroller while we followed her sister around. She is a fairly cautious baby anyway so it takes her a bit to warm up. Today she was really getting the hang of climbing up and going down the slide by herself, after her sister went first of course.

It did my heart good to see them playing together. It did my soul good to be out in the sunshine and wind, playing and being silly. It did my mind good to know this opportunity hadn't been missed and these memories will be enjoyed. 

Even as we loaded into the car and I sanitized their sweet little hands (something I never would have bothered with a year ago) I could dispel my worries. I was using every precaution. And the joys and benefits were worth the minute risk. 

I'm grateful to get outside today. I'm grateful to get to play with my girls. I'm grateful to watch as my oldest blossoms as a big sister, teaching the baby how to be brave and try new things. I'm grateful for these moments. I'm grateful for sunshine on my face and wind in my hair. I'm grateful for time to be silly. I'm grateful to let go of all the craziness going on right now and just be there having fun. (I'm also beyond grateful that we were able to walk away when the timer went off with no meltdowns!)

How are you getting fresh air these days? What risks are worth it for your sanity? How are you connecting with the moment and practicing being present?

May the sunshine feed our soul. May we find opportunities to step away from the weight of the world. And may we take every opportunity to play. Have a beautiful day!

I have had plenty of time lately to sit in stillness. To sit quietly and think about what path I am choosing and what I need to do differently. It's a time for me to dig deeper.

I will admit it is not often comfortable in this space. My physical body is peaceful but my mind can be brutal. It is a delicate balance of being honest and asking the hard questions of myself without letting my mind slip to the dark side. I am human. I have to remember to give myself grace. 

Last night I asked for clarity on some areas that I was having trouble consciously working through. My dreams provided a parade of people from my past in different settings and situations. The settings and situations were not real or even realistic in some cases, but they all reflected to me pieces of the answers I was seeking. 

There is more to be done, yet it can all be down from a place of rest...a place of stillness. So I navigate today slowly. I give myself the space to allow processing. I give myself some grace even as I witness repeat mistakes. 

I'm grateful for a day to slow down. I'm grateful for a day to rest. I'm grateful for the questions that circle my mind but I'm also grateful to let them process in their own time. I'm grateful for the clarity that comes in my dreams. I'm grateful for each bit of sleep I get. I'm grateful to keep the negative thoughts in check as best I can and remember grace is for me too. I'm grateful for a positive, fun day with my girls, moving at a slower pace. I'm grateful to just sit and play.

What do you do with the stillness? What path are you choosing? What answers are you seeking?

May today be a step toward clarity. May truth always bring healing and growth. And may there be grace for ourselves and others every step of the way. Have a beautiful day!