When it comes to love, most of us have some wounds. Some wounds come from love lost, others come from love never found, and some come from something else posing as love in the most hurtful ways. 

It is easy to understand how walls can be built up. Protection may feel necessary. But the tricky thing about love is that it is best felt by leaning in, not away. 

Last night I had a scare. Everything ended up fine but during that time of not knowing I felt shaken deep in my heart. Yet when everything turned out fine, I found my fear replaced with anger. I was not leaning in. I was walling myself up. 

I don't judge my reaction. I know where it is based and what was stirred up that I needed to process. But pulling myself back from it and observing reminded me why I was scared in the first place. The fear would not have been so deep without deep love and so the anger dissipated and the tears fell, washing the rest away. 

Anger is often rooted in fear. Fear can be caused by so many things and yet two things seem to help fear the most; faith and love. Both of these require leaning in. 

I'm grateful to pause and observe. I'm grateful to let the tears fall. I'm grateful to allow my body and mind its process without judgment. I'm grateful to let the anger go. I'm grateful to lean in. I'm grateful to find loving arms waiting when I lean. I'm grateful to continue to work on this beautiful process of learning to lean in.

How do you respond to fear or loss? When do you lean in?

May we always hold on to faith, in whatever form that takes for you. May we remember to lean in to love. Have a beautiful day!

Despite our search, my daughter and I did not find any four-leaf clover today but I found something better. I found the relief I had been searching for in these stressful times. 

My anxiety has been up as I wrestled with the decision to keep working or not as the numebr of illnesses increases daily. As a massage therapist there is no "social distancing" I can do from my clients. Even working with a mask and washing my hands I still felt I was leaving myself and my clients at risk. Yet there were no clear answers for how long I should continue to work.

This evening as I once again wrestled with confirming or canceling clients for the upcoming days, I finally got a clear answer. I was walking laps outside my parents' home trying to release some anxiety before family dinner that we enjoy with them each week. A client texted and in the process of looking at my phone I saw a message from the association that sets guidelines for massage. They were strongly recommending that every massage therapist cease work immediately in keeping with their oath to "do no harm". It was like a huge weight lifted. I was crazy or over-anxious. I had validation!

I felt the stress melt from my body as I sent out the necessary information to my employer, colleagues, and clients. After a day of praying and doing everything I could from yoga to meditation music to find peace, my call has been answered. 

In my communication I learned that many people were nervous and seeking the same thing I had been, guidelines and clear boundaries. I had given that to them just as I was given. 

I pray that more people and companies are able to receive this blessing of clear guidance. I hope that they act soon to slow the spread so we can keep people safe. 

​I'm so grateful for the beautiful blessing today by the AMTA. I'm grateful to feel the anxiety lift. I'm grateful to be tucked safely at home with my beautiful family. I'm grateful to keep my clients and family safe. I'm grateful for my walk, yoga, meditation, and all other forms of relief I tried. I'm grateful to feel my prayers were answered. I'm grateful to have guidance. I'm grateful to celebrate St Patrick's Day without need for all the normal hoopla. I'm grateful for health, love, and faith.

What guidance are you seeking? How is your stress level? What can we do as a community to help each other stay safe?

May today bring guidance. May we see the blessings even in these uncertain times. May we hold strong in our faith to see this through. Have a beautiful day!

September 11th holds a special kind of scar. Most of us can remember exactly where we were that day and the flood of emotions that unfolded with the news. 

I was a couple weeks into my first year of college. It was my first time really away from my parents aside from little week long vacations. I woke up and walked to my first class oblivious to what was happening. My college professor greeted us with hysterics and told us to all go home and hunker down, enjoy some bread and treats because the country was going to war and those items wouldn't be available. She told us life as we knew it was going to change and we would have to grow up fast. My roommate and I spent the rest of the day in our dorm room watching the tv and making calls to our parents. 

I did not have a direct loss, no family or friends in the towers. I did not know anyone on the planes. Yet it is the type of tragedy that marks everyone. 

Two years later on that day I watched my boyfriend get his pin for Army Airborne after enlisting in response to the towers falling. Pride mixed with fear knowing he faced deployment.

And seven years after that, September 10th,  I walked out of a courtroom dazed and lost as a judge finalized our divorce. It seemed like the date itself had some kind of curse.

Six years later I couldn't help but be a little nervous when I was told my rainbow baby's due date was September 10th. Was this going to be the breaking of the cycle or would I lose this most precious gift to the date that only seemed capable of heartache? 

My rainbow baby arrived that year, two weeks early. It was the most beautiful blessing I could have asked for. Now I hold my second sweet daughter as I reflect on all this date has meant. In my personal story the losses of this date were what ultimately gave me the beautiful gift of the children I hold today. For me it is a story with a bright side. But not everyone has this same blessing. For some this date marks the loss of their child, spouse, sibling, parent, friend. I pray that each of the people left behind has found some joy, some peace, and some way to move forward. 

I'm grateful to have a bright side in my own story. I'm grateful for my roommate that day. I'm grateful for the ability to call home. I'm grateful for the miracle of those who survived. I'm grateful to get to see as the media tracks the 9/11 babies, now the age I was when this tragic event took place. I'm grateful to see how young eighteen really was and to have a few more years of wisdom today. I'm grateful for my first husband's bravery in answering the call to duty. I'm grateful for all I learned during those years together and I'm grateful for all I have learned about myself and relationships since then. 

Where were you that day? What narrative have you created around that day in your personal story? How do we grow love and respect into our children and the world so we never have to bear witness to a tragedy like this again?

May today's reflection move us forward toward love. May the memories help us grow. May we work together to make this world a more loving place for our children. Have a beautiful day!

I am blessed to have several friends I've known since high school or before. We have watched each other grow up, head down different paths, face different challenges, and still share a bond that allows us to pick up the phone no matter how long it has been and chat. 

Last night when my phone rang I knew it was not going to be a "hey girlie, what's up with you these days?" kind of chat. It wasn't just the time of the call or the person on the other end. It was a gut feeling.

The beauty of receiving a call last night that required full focus and whole heart is that for the first time in two and half years I had the house to myself at night. My husband is off on a trip, meaning my work schedule is a little wacky this week. My mom was going to be watching my daughter all day today and rather than get up early to drive over here she recommended my daughter, and dog, just spend the night there last night. So when the call came in there were no distractions, no child to be getting ready for bed or dog whining for attention. 

This is what I call divine timing. I could not have planned for it. Instead it was set up so that my focus would be free to give to my friend during her time of need. And as she shared the overwhelming challenge presented to her right now all I could do was listen. I searched my brain for some magic words that could help make it better but there just aren't any. I have been in a similar place and I know that often the best meaning words feel invalidating rather than comforting. 

Instead the gift of listening says more than the best babbling the mind could spew. Listening says, first and foremost, you are heard and this space is yours to talk. Listening says I respect not only what you are saying but how you feel as you navigate this. Listening says I am truly present for you right now. And giving the gift of truly listening undistracted was a gift for me as well.

I'm so grateful for divine timing so that I could be one hundred percent present for that call. I'm grateful and honored that this friend chose me to call. I'm grateful for our friendship and all the challenges through which we have stood beside each other. I'm grateful to see and remind her of her strength. And I'm grateful for all the times she has done the same for me. I'm grateful to know she has some local support and I'm grateful for how a phone call can bring someone close even if the distance is far. I'm grateful for all the support I have here in so many ways. 

What helps keep you present and listening? What words do you find wanting to come out when listening is all that is required? What words do you most like to hear when you are needing comfort? Who do you call to be truly heard?

May today remind us the power of listening. May we explore the words we want to say and truly ask if these words are for us or for the speaker. And may we be guided to give the best support we can to those who need us most. Have a beautiful day!

Last night our area was sent scrambling as a mile wide tornado ripped through. In the past I have been know to stand outside and take pictures until the last minute; once (years ago) even witnessing the clouds rotating and beginning to lower above my own back patio. But last night was different.

Thankfully we were at my parents' house last night having our usual Tuesday night family dinner. We had just finished dinner and were cleaning up when the weather radio and our phones began sounding warnings. The tornado had touched down in a town less than thirty minutes west of where we stood and was reported to be traveling along the highway that ran perhaps two miles north of where we stood. 

My mom and I gathered the kids (my daughter and dog) and headed to the basement. Thankfully they had not long ago transformed their basement into a playroom for my daughter so she was content. A few minutes later the sirens went off in our area as we clicked on the news and my dad and husband joined us down stairs. It appeared the tornado was moving just a little more north in its path, giving us a little more breathing room at my parents' but heading in line toward our own home across town. 

We were safe and there was nothing we could do but watch. Once again the tornado moved just a little north in its path, missing our home by five miles or so but causing major destruction all along its course. My former sister-in-law was one of the homes in the path it took. Many people's lives were upended and emerged from hiding to find destruction. 

My heart and prayers go out to all of those affected by last night's tornadoes. Yes, plural because even after that twister lifted the storm re-spawned in another area and some states were hit by multiple tornadoes last night. As we returned home last night to tuck our daughter in bed it was almost surreal to see our neighborhood untouched. Everything has a new perspective as I climbed in bed last night still waiting to hear back from some of my friends. And my blessings were clear and abundant.

I'm grateful to have been safe at my parents' home last night, south of the storms if even by a hair. I'm grateful to return home to our house safe and unharmed. I'm grateful to have been together as a family so there were fewer people to contact and reassurance was brought with my own eyes. I'm grateful to see how different my level of risk taking is now as a mother. I'm grateful for all the weather alert systems we have in place in our community to keep people safe. I'm grateful organizations like Heart to Heart are already out providing relief and assistance. I'm grateful that for all the destruction the death toll seems to remain low. I'm grateful for all the friends and family that checked in on each other throughout the course of the storm.

Isn't it interesting how destruction, loss, and threat can bring everything back into perspective. How is your perspective lately? In the grand scheme of things, how important are the things that have been bothering you lately? 

​May today open our eyes to the big picture and put things in perspective. May we be moved to action to help those who were not so lucky in last nights' storms and find ways to make a difference in our communities and those effected. Have a beautiful day!

As an adult and especially as a parent there are many fears that pop up from time to time. Some are the same old fear rearing in a new way. Others, like those brought on as the reality of another child on the way, are newer to navigate. Yet most, if not all, these fears can be calmed when I take an honest look.

Fear has a special way of spiraling. It is when I pause and remember the truth of the situation that those fears are put in perspective. The truth usually consists of two aspects: I'm not perfect and I wasn't meant to be, only to do my best. And Life won't give me anything I can't handle so clearly I've got this. 

The second one may be harder to believe for some but if you are reading this then you have survived everything life has thrown at you so far. Yes, it may change you or even lay you up temporarily but if you re here you have a one hundred percent success rate so far. Embrace that confidence!

My mom told me, "Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, it's not the end yet." Sometimes "worked out" doesn't look the way we hoped but that is only because we can't always see the big picture. 

So today as I wake from my third nightmare this week I release fighting or trying to "talk myself out of" these fears. I don't need to try to comfort myself by saying most likely none of these will happen and try to just turn down the voice of that fear. For me these fears are a reminder of what I hold truly valuable in life. It is a reminder of what I want to remember to cherish and be grateful for each day. And at this time that triggers some fears to surface. Rather than run or stuff them away I will set my intention to doing what I can to prevent them and know with confidence that whatever comes I will be able to handle it. 

The picture above was done by my daughter. I think it is one of my favorite pieces of her art so far. There is a song that I find very reassuring and I have been known to sing it, even out loud, when I am in a situation of fear. It is called The River by Garth Brooks. It says, "I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry, like a bird upon the wind these waters are my sky. I'll never reach my destination if I never try so I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry." We were built strong enough to weather the storms. And with that confidence I will "sail" on.

I'm grateful to allow my fears to surface. I'm grateful to remind myself I am here not because I had a smooth, easy journey but because I am strong enough to handle the bumps, bruises, and turns. I'm grateful to see how the people I love have weathered their journeys and are still going strong. I'm grateful to hear about amazing stories of victory but also just the simple everyday stumbles overcome by average people. I'm grateful to truly believe that we are supported and we are strong enough to handle what comes our way. I'm grateful to allow this confidence to meet my fears. I'm grateful for the song that I connect with so well and the reassurance it gives me. And I'm grateful for my daughter for so many million reasons. 

What fears do you hold? How do you embrace your confidence to keep moving forward? 

May today remind us we are all strong enough. May we look back and see all our successes not by how they felt or what they looked like at the time but by the proof that we are still here and still living our lives. Have a beautiful day!

Communication goes a long way, whether it is bridging a gap or just sharing interests. I didn't say talking; I said communication. The difference is communication has listening built in. You can't hold a conversation effectively if you aren't listening.

My husband and I are very different. People say opposites attract and that may be true but communication is what distinguishes if they will make it passed the attraction. For my husband and I honestly and a good dose of humor help a lot.

​I have friends from all walks of life, all backgrounds, going through a wide range of challenges and successes. To me, friendship isn't about what I would do in their situation. It is about being there to listen and support what they are doing to get through their situation. It is about celebrating their successes, no matter what that looks like to them, because they want to celebrate.

I have a sweatshirt that says, "Humanity is my race, Love is my religion." I get asked a lot about what I believe. But my beliefs shouldn't really matter to anyone but me. Beliefs are they way we individually choose to interpret life and speak to whatever power comforts us. As long as those are not inflicting harm on others, I have no problem with any beliefs.

It is my belief that no religion was actually built for violence. It is the followers fear and the people in "charge" miscommunication and misinterpretations that lead to judgments and violence. So let's put all of that aside and just communicate. We are all people. We are all significant in our ability to impact this world and all so temporary in the time we have to do that. Why not make our time here worth it? Why not spread love?

I'm grateful to listen. I'm grateful to do my best to speak from love and not from fear. I'm grateful when I am corrected when I don't see the error of my mistakes so that I can apologize. I'm grateful for religions that give people hope and comfort. I'm grateful for communities that support. I'm grateful for people being authentically themselves no matter what gender, belief, or career that presents. I'm grateful to have a variety of friends from a variety of backgrounds, outlooks, and with a variety of goals. I'm grateful to love each of them. I'm grateful to try each day to do my part to make this world a supportive and loving place. I'm grateful for every person doing the same. I'm grateful to know we can make a difference.

On a personal note, I'm grateful for the things my husband and I have in common like Jeep camping. I'm grateful for all our differences that help make each of us more rounded. I'm grateful we do not hold the same religion because it makes our perspectives that much more love based. I'm grateful to give both perspectives and any others we can share with my daughter so that she can choose when she is older what works for her. I'm grateful to see all this as simple; it is not complicated to give love. 

How many perspectives do you allow in your life? How can you step passed yours to give love to the people around you who are different?

May we keep it simple. May we recognize we are all the same at our core. May we show love and respect for our fellow humans. And may we make this world a more loving, accepting place for future generations. Have a beautiful day!

I find myself wide awake this morning even though the clock still says we're in the three o'clock hour. Perhaps it was being woken by my daughter's cries or perhaps it was the subsequent parade of thoughts marching through my head but no matter the cause, I am awake.

As I waited for my laptop to boot up I found myself absently tracing the lines of the landscape picture on my homepage. It was one I took many years ago while hiking the high point in Texas, the Guadalupe Mountains. I love mountain pictures because there is so much depth in such a clear view. There are ridges of other mountains and plains in the distance. At the bottom of the photo there is the grass and edge of where my own feet stood. On the picture I wrote, "Endless Possibilities."

When I used to tell people I did motivational photography I got a lot of questions of what that was as well as a lot of requests to photograph their family or children. But aside from my own family, if I am behind the lens of my camera it is nature that calls to me. All the beauty that is right there that we are usually too busy to notice. The infinite space of a landscape with all its texture and scope is full of promise. The bee or butterfly hovering over an imperfect flower, seeing only it's beauty and purpose, is full of hope and comfort. The deer that stares straight into my lens as it battles its internal dialog is my reflection. 

I spend most of my day with a two year old. I love the conversations that we find ourselves in as she interprets her world. And I cherish adult conversation that allows me complete thoughts and deeper context. But there is something deeply beautiful about the conversation with nature. It is a different kind of conversation and yet it is pure and fulfilling in its own way.

I'm grateful to see the world differently. I'm grateful for the way nature speaks to me. I'm grateful for the million pieces of beautiful symbolism it gives me that reflects inspiration on my own life. I'm grateful for the photo on my computer this morning. I'm grateful for the photos this week's snow has gifted. I'm grateful for all the conversations in my life. I'm grateful for the internal dialog that keeps me aware of underlying beliefs, showing me where I have grown and what else I may want to change. I'm grateful for the blessing of nature and the way my eye works with my heart and mind to see the messages it gives.

What are your favorite conversations? How do your internal conversations sound? What is your favorite scenery to converse with or gaze upon?

May today reconnect us to the beauty and symbolism all around us. May we take the beautiful messages nature offers and apply that wholeness and perfect imperfection to the image of ourselves as well. Have a beautiful day!

I love Autumn with its deep, rich colors and wonderful smells. I love the mixture of trees in our neighborhood that give the full range of all the beautiful colors the leaves can turn. 

Yesterday on my way to work I had to pull over and take a picture. The beauty overtook me. Each day I had watched a few leaves here and there turning and trees beginning to change. Yesterday, nature was in her full Autumn glory.

​In another couple weeks the leaves will fall and the world will take on a sepia tone as we head into winter. That has a beauty of its own. But the colors bursting and the trees in their last beautiful hoorah before their winter rest fills my heart.

I'm grateful for the ability to see color. I'm grateful to be overtaken by the beauty of nature. I'm grateful for trees that remain green that give us a backdrop and remind us what the others came from. I'm grateful for the less common purples that add depth to the range. I'm grateful for the reds, orange, and yellow that are the traditional colors my mind thinks of in Autumn. And I'm grateful to just take in the beauty, enjoying the moment I have with it before it changes again.

What is your favorite color? What is your favorite thing about this time of year? When was the last time you paused to just enjoy the view?

May today give us the gift of time and may we celebrate it in nature. May we pause and see all the beauty around us. May mother nature's artwork warm our souls. Have a beautiful day!

My whole life people have told me I have a big heart and a tender heart. It hurts me to know that people in the world are not cared for or emotionally supported. It pains me to know that some people feel unloved when there are so many of us capable of loving.

Sometimes we get caught up in labels and groups like "family, neighbor, Christian (or other religious group)," or this time of year, political party. These labels were meant to unite but instead they seem to divide. They separate one group from the rest. They give people a sense of belonging while excluding others.

In my attempt to grow and be inclusive, I starting asking questions about the language we use. Even he and she are labels that are too limited for some people to feel included. I do not have all the answers to the issue of inclusion but I am open to the conversation. If the tables were different, if I didn't have a family or didn't feel like a specific gender or religion, wouldn't I still deserve the basic human need of acceptance and love? The answer is always yes!

I think of all the brave people out there that are bold enough to say,"this is who I am! and this is what I believe." This strength is something to celebrate! But we shouldn't need amazing strength to be able to be true to ourself. So how do we start the change? How do we open the conversation and our hearts to accepting everyone as they are, no matter what?

I do not have the answers. This is part of my heart's challenge as I open to embrace everyone even while knowing there will be some that will not do the same. I simply want to start the conversation. I want to remind people we are all the same at our core, no matter what labels we choose to use or not use. And we all deserve love and acceptance.

I'm grateful to truly believe that humanity is a family. I'm grateful to believe that our hearts are big enough to embrace everyone. I'm grateful to know that we do not have to share the same beliefs or labels to love each other. I'm grateful to have a big heart. I'm grateful that it is tender and I can feel others' pain because I truly believe that it makes me a kinder person. I'm grateful to believe there are more people out there like me and that we can make a difference by choosing love. And I'm grateful to know that it is a choice and everyone can choose love and acceptance.

What will you choose? Do you agree with every member of your family? How do you find the ability to show them love even when you disagree? How can you give that same courtesy and basic need to every member of society?

May today unite us by our hearts, if nothing else. May we find that love is a common ground and may that be enough to embrace as family. Have a beautiful day!