Today is Memorial Day, a day of remembering our loved ones who are not here with us today. I'm not one to go decorate a grave site. For me, personally, I prefer to see the "reflection" of my loved ones in the Cardinals and butterflies I see every day. I prefer to focus on the spirit and energy of them that I still feel in my heart.

So far today has been getting some last minute projects done before I return to work this week. My parents came over to help with some of them and spend time with the girls. It was nice to get to see them and have lunch together.

Before they left we were all out on the deck talking. I had hoped maybe a cardinal or two would come by, a symbol of my grandparents. If they did, I didn't see them. Instead, as I was standing there holding my youngest, something fell between my face and my baby's. I saw a streak as it landed on her shirt and for a second I thought it was bird poop. Luckily it was not; it was a green caterpillar. 

What beautiful symbolism! It is a great reminder of rebirth as a caterpillar turns to a butterfly (or moth) and the spirit moves to another form. It is also so fitting right now as we, as a society, are beginning to re-emerge from this shelter-in-place.

I'm grateful for the beauty of the spirits I feel around me. I'm grateful for the symbolism I find in nature. I'm grateful to have so many Cardinals in our backyard. I'm grateful to feel the presence of loved ones who have passed and I'm grateful to spend my days with the loved ones that are still walking this earth. I'm grateful to get some projects knocked off the list. I'm grateful to still have plenty of time for a family walk, meals together, and some water play on the deck. I'm grateful my family loves being outdoors as much as I do. I'm grateful to remember those who have walked before me but also to remember to walk each day being present of the gift it is to be here.

Who are you remembering today? What ways to you connect or honor them? How did you choose to spend your day?

May today allow us to be present. May we feel connected with our loved ones. Have a beautiful day!

Today may be Sunday, but it is the Sunday before Memorial Day. Without work tomorrow, today feels more like a Saturday. For that matter, the last four days have felt like Saturday.

My husband took off work last Wednesday through Friday for our anniversary. The plan was to do a little family camping but that plan fell through. Instead we did things around home with our girls and knocked out a few projects as well. But each day felt like Saturday with no one working and the schedule open. 

Have you seen the movie Groundhog's Day? Bill Murray keeps reliving the same day over and over again. The last five days have been our groundhog's day but in the very best of ways.

We had a picnic and played outside a lot with the drone and bubbles. We filled the water table then watched as the girls splashed it empty again. We played games with the girls and knocked out projects during their nap times. My husband and I got to watch shows and even a movie together! It is amazing how much can fit in a day when both parents are home and tuned in!

Tomorrow is Memorial Day. It is a day of remembrance. It is also the last day for us to knock out our projects before I head back to work. Most of all it is a day to remember what is truly important and spend time with family. 

It has been a truly beautiful stay-cation week. I'm so grateful to cross some things off our list. I'm grateful to get to spend time together as a family. I'm grateful for a fun impromptu picnic. I'm grateful to do several carry-out food orders as we have not eaten out much during this shelter-in-place. I'm grateful for the joy on my girls' faces as we spend time with them. I'm grateful to watch my husband try to play Barbies with our eldest. I'm grateful for the quality time my husband and I got together. I'm grateful our dog is back on her meds and feeling good. I'm grateful to have gotten this opportunity.

What day would you like to repeat for several days? What would you do with the time? Who would you share the time?

May today remind us what is important. May we take time to reflect tomorrow and remember those whom we have lost. May we also focus on who is important to us here and now and let them know. Have a beautiful day! 

Perhaps it is the weather, which has been grey and overcast and drizzly most days of the last couple weeks. Perhaps it is the knowledge that in less than a week I will return to work. Perhaps it is the worry that life will be speeding back up again when I return to the outside world. Or perhaps it is just the hormones shifting again as we near my daughter's first birthday and she is naturally slowing her nursing schedule. No matter the reason, I have been riding some big emotional waves this week.

The ups have been nice but not overly high. The lows have been deep and the tears have flowed. I feel like I am in mourning even though I am not sure all the elements behind it. 

It is a process to navigate through and on the other side I will find balance again. Things are once again changing. Just as I had to readjust for the shelter-in-place, I have to equally readjust to emerging back into the world. It is like a butterfly or perhaps a lotus flower. Now it is time to re-emerge.

I'm grateful for the wonderful people in my life that provide good conversation as I talk it out. I'm grateful for the love and support I receive each day. I'm grateful to know that this time at home was a beautiful blessing and to have cherished the moments of it. I'm grateful to know that I am still so lucky and blessed to get to spend the first half of my day with my girls each day. I'm grateful it is "summer" and we will not be navigating a return to school at the same time as my return to work. I'm grateful for my amazing clients who are so kind and welcoming. I'm grateful to know returning to work will help bring another side of my purpose back into play. I'm grateful to ride these waves, knowing they are part of the process and all is well.

How are you doing today? Is your life shifting or is it remaining as is for the time being? What would you like to bring with you as you emerge?

May today remind us that change is good. May we find gratitude in the process and beauty in the moments. Have a beautiful day!

We have all run across challenges in our lifetime. What that looks like can be different person to person or even  day to day. What challenges us at one point of our lives may seem minor at a different point in our lives if we come across it again. 

Sometimes it isn't even the task itself that is the challenge. The real question, is the challenge worth the reward?

A lot of times what challenges us is the next step to whatever goal of life achievement we are pursuing. When we are dating, the next challenge is deciding to marry or to find someone new. Will I go after this dream job? Will I hike to the top of Everest? Will I choose to have a child, or another child? 

It always comes down to, is the challenge worth the reward. If it is, then do it! If it is worth succeeding at, then go all in. And sometimes the reason something seems so challenging is because it is not worth the reward but is required anyway, such as a work requirement. Without the feeling of worth behind it, the task seems harder than it would be if we were motivated.

The question is, what reward is worth it? We can find ways to make challenges easier, or at least more motivating by finding the reward that makes it worth it. 

Last week I watched my ten month old climb a ladder. I stayed near, of course, but it was interesting to observe. She is the more cautious child, of my two so far. It took her about five full minutes to climb the five or six steps to the top and all for a shiny, gold-colored point that was sticking out of the doorway of her sister's treehouse. Each movement was full of trembles and each moved hand grip was well planned and white-knuckled, but she was determined to get to what turned out to be a unicorn pillow's horn. 

We don't have to be chasing unicorns to make it worth it. It doesn't even have to be something big, a life milestone. We just have to find the reward to feels good to us.

There has been a lot of divide during this pandemic. Some people saying it is the end of the world and others saying it isn't real and it is conspiracy. Some people have complained about shelter-in-place and can't wait to reopen while others want to see another month or more of staying in. I can't say who is right or wrong because I only know what is best for me and my family. 

For me, shelter-in-place was worth the reward of time with my family and feeling like I was doing my part to help people stay healthy. It was worth it for the huge shift it brought and ability to step back and take a wider look at my schedule and priorities. Going back to work will be worth the reward as well, as we get to return to a two income family and I get to have a little stronger identity outside being a mom. 

Parenthood is no easy task. Yet it is so worth the reward when I look into my daughters' eyes. The toddler and preschool age can be a challenge because of the duality of independence and co-dependence that exudes every interaction. But I would still say this age is one of my favorite because they still love so deeply and cuddly too.

I'm grateful for my life. I'm grateful for the challenges I have been through, yes even the ones that felt dark at the time, because they all brought me right here to this point. I'm grateful for every broken heart that led me to my husband. I'm grateful for every rough day that ends in a cuddly night with my daughter and even more grateful for the smooth days that follow. I'm grateful to get to hold my girls tight. I'm grateful for this time at home with them. I'm grateful to be gaining more confidence about returning to work. I'm grateful to know each bit is its own season. I'm grateful to be moving forward in trust.

I do not know your story. I do not know your challenges. It could be health related, relationship, or something completely different. Whatever it is, is it worth the reward? Can you find a reward worthy to make the challenge feel smaller? 

May today remind us we have survived every challenge so far. May we find beauty in the reward and know when to change course when it isn't worth it. Have a beautiful day!

My preschooler and I had a good opportunity to talk today. She asked me why I have been on my phone so much. Then she expressed that she was "sick of this house!"

Usually I make it a point to not be on my phone when my kids are awake because I know they need attention and connection. During the shelter-in-place it has been pretty easy because I don't have clients that I have to schedule and respond to so I have mostly ditched my phone for hours at a time. The possibility and planning of going back to work has brought lots of texts as we all try to figure out what is needed, what protocols need put in place, and who will be allowed to come first. 

Honesty goes a long way with kids so I decided to address the big issue first. "I am sick of this house too! I'm ready for things to open back up so we can go do fun things like the zoo and playdates and just get out. I would even be happy if the weather would at least cooperate so we could play on the deck and go for walks again."

She agreed but seemed a little confused, why were we here then? I reminded her why we are home and let her know that some things might start opening up again soon. But that also meant I would be returning to work soon and so I had to figure out how to do that safely and tell my clients what day they could come in. 

Now she looked a little less sure about what she wanted. She has told me frequently during all this that she is so happy I don't work anymore. I hopped in as I saw her processing this potential bad news. I said, "since I don't have to go to work today or tomorrow, how about I put my phone down and we focus on having a dance party for now?" 

There is a lot to get done in the coming days but I also have to remember to enjoy these last days and moments home with my girls. I have truly loved getting to spend so much quality time with them, not just shuttling between school and errands and playdates. I don't want to miss out on these moments of connection to answer a text that can wait until nap time without any negative impact. 

I'm grateful for this reminder to stay present from my daughter. I'm grateful to be honest that being home is getting a little old. I'm grateful for the time home with my girls. I'm grateful for all the milestones I've witnessed. I'm grateful for all the beautiful moments as we navigated this new "adventure" together. I'm grateful things may be opening soon but grateful to keep a level head and make sure I feel it is safe for myself and my clients. I'm grateful to know we are all in this together.

Honestly, how are you doing as this covid-19 continues? What supports do you need? What will be changing for you and how do you feel about it?

May today remind us to stay present. May we be honest and use that honesty to guide us to make the best decisions moving forward. Have a beautiful day!

As an early Mother's Day and Father's Day present my husband and I got new hammocks. They store a little larger than a camp chair but come with easy-to-set-up poles, hammock, bug screen, sun shade, and even a tent that pitches over the top. It is the perfect gift for us.

In honor of our new gifts and just because we have decided to take the next two days "off". Obviously I am already off work as I still cannot work due to the Covid-19 closures.. But my husband is going to take off working from home and we are going to have a mini vacation.

It feels good to even just say that word, "vacation". Where would you go if you could take a vacation anywhere? What if you had to leave today and couldn't leave your state; what would your destination be? And if you couldn't leave home but were planning your perfect home "vacation" day; what would you do?

I'm grateful to take a few days together. I'm so grateful for our new hammocks. I'm grateful to take tomorrow off from even this blog to enjoy some electronics free time. I'm grateful for our girls' love of the outdoors. I'm grateful to see what unfolds. And I'm grateful we get to share this time together. 

May today remind us that "vacation" can be as simple as a mindset away. May we all be fortunate enough to take an away-from-home vacation soon. Have a beautiful day and weekend!

Isn't it funny how we can get so focused on the problem that we forget to take a step back and allow the answer to show itself? Maybe this doesn't happen to you but it happens to me from time to time.

I know that my body communicates a wealth of information to me. It tells me what I need and what is out of balance. And when I ignore or neglect this knowledge my body "speaks" louder.

There has been a stye on my eye for over a month. I have tried the warm compresses and gentle massage. I even got it to open up twice only to have it remain. In fact, it was even bigger.

The eye, not surprisingly, represents our perspective of the world and what we choose to see. So I did my best to focus more on gratitude and try to bring some fun and laughter into my days. Yet the stye remained and I kept asking myself, "What am I not seeing?!"

I love the symbolism I find all around me. I love connecting the dots to find the spiritual aspect of imbalances when they show up. It gives me a sense of power over the path I choose and it feeds my sense of connection to something higher. But sometimes I have to laugh at how my mind takes over rather than letting intuition and spirit guide the symbolism.

About a week ago I let myself have a big cry. Some people call it ugly crying but really it is the most beautiful release we can give ourselves sometimes. I let go of trying to find the positive and trying to make myself feel the good of the situation and I gave in to a much needed sob-fest. 

The next day I felt like the stye was a little smaller but I ignored that and focused on the fact that it was still there. Another day passed and I gave myself a chance to admit that perhaps holding back all those tears was the message behind the stye. Perhaps it was time to release and find some emotional balance. Over the last few days I have let a few tears fall when they needed. I didn't hold back until my girls were napping or turn away to wash my face in the sink. I just let them fall. It turns out that when I do that, it only lasts a moment rather than an hour. The stye is almost gone.

No matter how much I "know" there is always room to grow. 

I'm grateful for this stye. I'm grateful for a good cry. I'm grateful to see the need to allow myself these releases in the moment rather than holding back for later. I'm grateful for my husband's patience and hugs. I'm grateful to be open and honest with my preschooler when she saw a few tears fall so she can learn a healthy connection to allowing her feelings. I'm grateful to be learning this connection myself. I'm grateful to be retraining and allowing. 

What is your body telling you? What imbalances are waiting to be freed? What is your relationship to your emotions?

May today allow us to embrace the many emotions that surface. May we find balance and listen to the messages our body is sending. May we step out of our heads and allow the spiritual messages to flow. Have a beautiful day!

When I feel that familiar vibration of anxiety coursing through me I frequently breathe through it and push it aside. A lot of times my anxiety is fed by wanting to control or change something I cannot. So I focus on my body and breathe or meditate or jog until the vibration evens back out. 

Often times I even find myself feeling negative towards anxiety, as if it is a personality flaw. In reality it is just a guidepost like any other emotion. 

At the same time I brush off this emotion I also feel like my intuition is strong and trustworthy in most situations. If I feel uneasy in the presence of someone or in a new location I trust my gut. It is a deep knowing inside and does not usually have the same resonation as the anxiety I spoke of a moment ago.

Last night I lay awake for over three and a half hours. Something was not sitting right with me and I tried every technique I knew to brush it off, breathe through it, and just go to sleep. Nothing worked. In fact, every time I tried to rationalize to calm or even pray about it, I got more anxious. It wasn't until I explored the idea that maybe, just maybe there was more than anxiety going on that I began to relax. When I finally let it go and changed my plan, listening to the anxiety, I fell fast asleep.

I'm grateful for the persistence of intuition. I'm grateful to listen. I'm grateful to get a new perspective and open my eyes to the negative ideas I hold toward anxiety. I'm grateful for all the times my intuition has served me well and kept me safe. I'm grateful for all anxiety has taught me too. I'm grateful to move forward with a more open mind and commit to paying more attention to what my emotions are telling me. 

What are your emotions telling you? What does your intuition tell you? How can we all find a balance at this time of change?

May today allow us to have strong intuition and faith. May we listen to the anxiety while not allowing it to overrun us. Have a beautiful day!

I am loving how many opportunities have opened up, especially for parents and kids, during this lockdown. There are websites offering all kinds of different learning activities and science experiments for kids. There are videos of book readings. And Mo Willems, a children's author, is doing daily doodle instructional videos. 

I was a little skeptical on how well a drawing instructional video would work with a three-and-a-half year old. But as you can see in the pictures above, we did pretty well! Tomorrow we may try markers instead of colored pencil just so she can see her drawing a little easier but I was super impressed! 

There are online courses that some colleges are offering free which is amazing. I was also very happy to hear my Laughter Yoga community is having a call-in laughter conference the first ten minutes of every hour to help everyone release a little stress. I have not taken advantage of either of these opportunities yet but I'm excited for all these opportunities!

I'm grateful that so many people and organizations are opening up these great opportunities for everyone. I'm grateful for all the people reaching out through YouTube. I'm grateful to see so many creative ideas floating around from fellow parents. I'm grateful for so many ways to fill our days. I'm grateful to be slowly figuring out a new normal and new routines. I'm grateful for all this time with my kids getting to really watch them grow and see their strengths. I'm grateful to be doing my best to see the beautiful opportunity this lockdown is and share some of my creativity as well.

What opportunities are you finding during this time? If you are locked in, what are you finding to fill your day with joy?

May today keep our creativity flowing. May we find the beauty in the opportunities available to us. Have a beautiful day!

It isn't necessarily the size of the obstacle that matters; it's the ability to maneuver through or around it. These days require flexibility and an ability to roll with a constantly changing situation. 

This is not my strong suit. I am not the most laid back person and I like to have a plan. So I have done my best to mentally make plans that have some fluidity built in. I'm rolling along as best I can.

I'm grateful for the people in my life that give me strength. I'm grateful for my children that fill my heart with love. I'm grateful for the distraction my kids provide. I'm grateful to let my creativity fill the gap where plans and change meet. I'm grateful for all the time I'm getting with my girls and husband. I'm grateful for some bits of normalcy. I'm grateful to keep rolling. I'm grateful for faith.

What helps you keep rolling? What balance are you finding and what personal strengths are you drawing on during this time?

May today provide comfort through faith. May we find the bright spots in each day. Have a beautiful day!