Today we had a fun surprise video call from my girls' grandma. As she attempted to speak to them while they crawled all over me and the sofa telling her their own thought bubbles all at once and hyped up on excitement she said something I could not even imagine. She said that even though she knew she lived through a similar busy-ness she really doesn't remember it that way.
I hear that a lot as a mom of young kids. People say, "oh, I forgot about the being up all night." I have heard, "I'm sure my kids went through that stage but I really don't remember those details." I have even heard, "I don't remember if my kids had trouble potty training."
I'm in what people refer to as "the thick of it". There are days I completely feel that expression and other days that it doesn't feel that way at all. Yet it does make me wonder what I will remember as my kids grow up. Will I remember how my now 18 month old loves to meditate and do a very dramatic breath in and out? I hope so and yet as I try to think back to when my four year old was that age there are only little snippets of memories. Honestly, most of the memories from her being that age are from the quote book and journal I kept of her that I have not been as diligent with for my younger daughter.
The moments fade. The days fade. Time passes. The things that drove me crazy once are forgotten. I try to think back to my pre-child days and I think, "how did I pass the time each day?" Obviously a good portion of it was that I worked a lot more hours, but on my days off? What did I do? It doesn't seem half as important as soaking up these fun, chaotic, and even the frustrating moments of my girls growing up.
I'm so grateful for these beautiful blessings. I'm grateful for my mother-in-laws comment that made me pause and remember to cherish these moments, no matter how chaotic. I'm grateful for a walk this morning even if we barely made it a few houses away. I'm grateful to watch as my toddler tried to participate in her big sister's homeschooling today. I'm grateful to see their kind souls and hope that I am doing a good job nourishing them. I'm grateful to know I am doing my best and how that looks is ever evolving as I grow too. I'm grateful to take a moment and reflect back. I'm grateful for the realization of the many moments I have forgotten to I can make sure I am focusing on what is most important in each moment. I'm grateful to release the little frustrations as I realize those will not be the moments I choose to remember anyway. I'm grateful. I'm grateful for this beautiful gift and all the change and excitement it has brought to my life.
Which memories have you chosen to keep? What do you remember about five years ago? Ten years ago? What about 20 or 30 years ago? If there were one thing from today that you would want to remember, what would it be? For me it would be the love of a grandma that calls for a special surprise and her grandkids being so excited they can't even sit still.
May today provide us with an overall feeling a love to remember. May we choose to carry the best memories forward and let the rest blend to a fuzzy message of deep love. Have a beautiful day!