Today is 10/10, so it's bound to be a good day, right? One of the best gifts, to me, is being heard.

Throughout my childhood I struggled to really project my voice and be heard. As an adult I have done slightly better with this only to have reached the phase of my life called Parenthood. I am currently in the phase of Parenthood blessed with a special kind of ignoring that only a preschooler can manage to pull off and still seem sweet and innocent. I won't lie, it drives me crazy.

​My husband and I have made more of an effort to find times to communicate despite two small kids and working opposite schedules. But there are still days where I am climbing into bed and the only adult conversations I've had were a quick rundown of the girls' day for their dad and my nearly daily chat with my mom. So it is not surprising that when offered an adult conversation I jump at the chance.

Two conversations have really stuck out this week. Neither were typical people I get to have long conversations with very often. It was an extra treat to then get reassurance and agreement from them in a decision I have gone back and forth on in my head for a while. It isn't that their opinion weighs more but rather that they heard my point of view. 

I'm grateful for this interaction. I'm grateful to feel heard. I'm grateful for my husband and my best efforts to make time to have conversations beyond who needs fed and when one or the other of us will be home from work. I'm grateful to slow down a little. I'm grateful to do my best to offer my ears and attention to others needing to be heard. I'm grateful for time to hang out with my best friend. And I'm grateful for a good, productive conference today. I'm grateful to see the numbers and read them as a positive sign. And I'm glad the universe is acting accordingly.

What helps you feel heard? What conversations fill your cup? Who have you been meaning to call and catch up with and how can you carve out some time?

May today remind us that being heard is an easy gift to give. May we listen as much as we speak. And may we feel heard on the topics that mean the most to us. Have a beautiful day!

Today I would like to share some random things that make me smile. I have often been told I am easily amused. In my eyes, this is a great compliment. I enjoy being amused so the easier the better. 

Monday, while driving my daughter to swim lessons, traffic came to a complete stop. As it turns out some geese had decided to have a parade. And they were in no hurry to move along just for some silly drivers' schedules. I was happily tickled by their little shenanigan. 

The other night my husband and I were having a conversation over dinner. Our three year old, as three year olds do, was interrupting and proclaiming she had a question. We reminded her to use her manners and ask for her turn to talk rather than just interrupting. Then when we asked what her question was she was so excited for it to be her turn she just quickly looked around her to find something to talk about. The result was her looking around frantically just to shout "squirrel!" I laughed so hard I cried and now every night at dinner she says "Hey Mommy, squirrel!" trying to get me to laugh that hard again. 

Today as I drove home from work I pulled up behind three cars at a stoplight. The stoplight turned green and we sat. We stayed there for a good twenty to thirty seconds before the first car realized the light had changed and started going. What made me so happy about this? Not one of us in line behind this car honked, went around or in any way rushed. We all just sat and waited politely. It was beautiful! 

I'm grateful to be easily amused. I'm grateful when I can slow down and see these beautiful moments for what they are. I'm grateful for people who pause for animals. I'm grateful for people who are patient with each others' human-ness. I'm grateful for laughter and for my daughter who frequently provides this gift for me. I'm grateful for a new day and a new smile along the road. I'm grateful for those who smile and laugh with me.

Each day there are opportunities to smile, to laugh, and to enjoy simple things. It is up to us if we choose to recognize these little gifts. When was the last time you were easily amused? What made you smile today?

May today keep us in the moment and allow us to see its beauty. May we smile and laugh easily. Have a beautiful day!

Three months ago today I was in complete denial that my water had just broken. In some ways I can't believe it has already been three months. Where did the time go? She is growing so fast! 

In other ways I can't believe only three months time could change so much. I can't imagine life without our sweet baby girl. It seems like longer since we had a screaming-in-pain six week old when I look at my mellow, smiling thirteen week old. We've already been through a few bumps but they were all so worth it.

I read an article today asking if you could go back, knowing what you know now, would you choose to have children again. Rather than everyone saying "absolutely" or "it was rough but totally worth it" there was a lot of raw honesty. One mom whose son had mental health issues says she would not if only to save him the struggle he will face his whole life. One scientist wrote no because of the climate issues that our children will have to face. And several others said they loved their kids but no, if they had the choice again they would not. 

I read that article and let these comments sink in. These parents answered honestly. It's not that the "it was worth it" answers are not honest; they are definitely some people's truth. But it was healing to me in some way to hear that not everyone feels that way. It doesn't mean they love their kids any less. It just means they would have made a different choice. 

Becoming a mother with my first was a much rougher transition than I had been prepared for. It was hard for me to accept the areas I fell short of my own high expectations. I worried that I may fall down the same hole with my second but it turns out once those standards were proven impractical the journey for number two has been much smoother. 

Reading the responses in the article gave me permission to ask myself what my honest answer would be. I think I would have been happy after my first divorce moving forward with the plans I made based on remaining on my own. But no matter how happy I would have been it always would have been my "plan B". I always wanted to be a mom and even with the rough transition, no matter how many times I get thrown up on, no matter how many poop accidents I have to clean, and no matter how many tantrums I have to navigate; this would always be my choice. I wouldn't change my mind because of the challenges because nothing compares to the love, the hugs, the "love you mommy", and most of all the watching a child grow into themselves and waiting to see what beauty they will add to the world.

Yes, there are many problems with the world as it is today. The climate is only one of those troubles my girls will face. But I truly believe nothing is set in stone. We can use our children for motivation if we need to to prompt us to make those changes. And we can build our children up to use their minds and confidently pursue ways to make this world better. 

I'm grateful for the raw honesty of the article. I'm grateful for the perspective of those parents that gave a different response. I'm grateful to allow myself to take an honest look at this question myself. I'm grateful to know I could have been happy either way. I'm grateful to know that I have no regrets. I'm grateful to know that each challenge makes me stronger and that it is worth it for the love I get to give and receive. I'm grateful for three amazing months with my little and three wild and wonderful years with my oldest. I'm grateful for many more to come. I'm grateful for my beautiful girls. And I'm grateful to still use the word beautiful even as the world is trying to tell us not to comment on girls' beauty, because there are a million types of beautiful both inside and out and my girls will know they are beautiful in their own way. I'm grateful to be a mom and I'm grateful to be on this journey with my amazing husband who is my rock and soulmate.

Would you choose your current path again? What aspects do you appreciate and which would you change? How can you move toward the life you most want?

May we all find he blessings in the path we chose. May we move forward with no regrets but a healthy dose of honesty. Have a beautiful day!

I prefer feeling like I have some level of control. Unfortunately having a preschooler and a baby frequently proves otherwise. I cannot make a preschooler poop on the toilet any more than I can make a baby eat before we have to head out for errands. They are their own people with their own agendas and ideas.

When control is lacking I find myself stressed and even cranky. I'm not sure why I choose this reaction because it doesn't help the situation. So rather than continue this pattern I have been looking for other reactions to choose. 

Lack of control often reflects my lack of self-care as well. While I "commit" to self-care regularly it rarely makes itself a habit before getting lost in the list of to do's again. Yet one thing that helps both to fill my self-care cup and navigate the loss of control is creativity. Luckily I consider myself a very creative person.

My daughter and I enjoy playing a game called Story Cubes. You roll the dice and line up the pictures to tell your own story. It is up to the person telling the story if it is a happy story or not. The symbolism of this in relation to a day with children is astounding.

When we wake up in the morning it is a dice roll how the day will go with a preschooler. Will she want to get dressed? What will we eat? Are those "listening ears" going to be functioning at all? Will we be in dawdle mode for every step? Yet with a little creativity I can tell the story in a positive way. I can use games and "tricks" to move us along our course. Some days this is easier said than done, but it sure beats feeling stressed and cranky.

I'm grateful to give myself grace, knowing I did my best in the moment. I'm grateful to know that stress and feeling cranky is my own choice. I'm grateful to recognize I have the power to shift this reaction. I'm grateful to find a way to play and fill my cup. I'm grateful for Story Cubes. I'm grateful to just allow myself to laugh.

How do you rewrite your story from frustration to fun? What creative ways have you found to release control over what cannot be controlled?

May today provide us the strength to choose creativity. May our creativity flow and grow with each use. Have a beautiful day!

We all have a "breaking" point. We have a point of getting heated up to the level of boiling where we may shout. 

I will admit I have a temper. I struggle sometimes with emotional regulation which is what drew me to meditation in the first place. It provides a haven for me to rebalance. 

Two kids and a hectic schedule do not allow for as much meditation as I would like. Yet finding the time to meditate makes me a better "me", a better mom, and a better human. It allows me that reset of patience and calm.

I love my preschooler to pieces. She is an amazing kid, so smart and funny, precocious and loving. She also has an amazing knack for finding just the right buttons to push. 

I am by no means a perfect mom. But I do my best to respond to my daughter rather than react and I do my best to keep a level, patient voice as best as possible. Unfortunately this usually results in venting to my husband at the end of the day and feeling like I am ending the day on a negative note. 

Awareness is half the battle. Know better, do better. And most of all I think it is important to give myself grace for all the little "wins". Today was full of many little wins as I got practice in responding and that is something to give myself credit for tonight.

I'm grateful to stop the negative spiral and give myself credit for what I did right. I'm grateful to know tomorrow is a new day. I'm grateful to see where I need to take more time for me and for my kids. I'm grateful to notice balance and imbalance in myself. I'm grateful for deep breaths and meditation chants to get me through when I cannot actually stop to meditate. I'm grateful for my husband's patience in my end of day release. I'm grateful to recognize this teapot habit and know I can shift it to something more positive.

What pushes your buttons? How do you recenter? How often do you find yourself becoming the heated teapot?

May today grant us cooling time. May we give ourselves grace for the struggles and celebrate the wins. Have a beautiful day!

I was blessed to take a little trip this weekend with my family. It was our first trip out of town with our newest edition. We didn't go far, just three hours away to visit my mother-in-law. Yet in just two days, a couple hours from home, I found renewal. 

We were celebrating my daughter's birthday as well as my mother-in law's. We went out to dinner one night but the rest of the time my husband cooked his amazing meals for us. My mother-in-law went back and forth between helping him prepare food and helping me play with the girls. In return she received baby smiles and coos and preschooler love in the form of "will you read me another book?!" 

Somehow it felt more like my birthday. I got to sit and play with my preschooler as we imagined all kinds of things. My favorite was when she decided the whole room was a moon elevator! We had a lot of fun with that scenario. 

I also got to just spend time to sit on the floor with my baby and soak up her smiles and coos and really pay attention to her personality that is emerging. I feel like in the chaos of our everyday schedules she doesn't get the one-on-one time she deserves. (I do recognize that part of this is the unfair comparison to all the time I was able to just sit and stare at my first daughter...because she was my first and didn't have to share attention.) It really filled my heart to have this time to just be with her.

I'm beyond grateful to have made it out of town. I'm grateful for my mother-in-law's graciousness as allowing us to overtake her house for the weekend. I'm grateful for how well both girls handled the transition and being in new beds at night. I'm grateful to leave feeling renewed. I'm grateful to recognize the feeling of demands pulling at me now that I am back home so that I can take an honest look at what I can whittle away. I'm grateful to have a reminder of how calm and simple life can be. I'm grateful to look for ways to simplify our schedules so we can get more of these calm, bonding times here at home. I'm grateful for all my husband did to make this weekend go so smoothly. 

How do you recharge? How often do you feel yourself needing to recharge from your everyday life? How can you add more "recharge" moments into your daily practice so you don't have to "get away" from your life as often? This is definitely the question I will be pondering as I make some changes moving forward.

May today remind us to just sit and be in the moment whenever possible. May we consciously choose lifestyles that nourish our mind, body, and soul. Have a beautiful day! 

Tonight I had a last minute change in schedule. My last client couldn't make it and I was able to make it home by six o'clock. Now by six my children were just finishing up their meals and my husband was about to prepare his. By the time I prepared a salad topped with leftover steak and sat down, everyone else was finished. 

Even though I was the only one eating it was still nice to just be home for dinner. It was ok that my daughters took turns interrupting every few bites. It was nice to see their excitement to have me home early. 

It was nice to have food on a plate with a metal fork. It was nice to hear the business of the evening. It was nice to just be there for a "normal" evening.

After dinner was even better as my preschooler and I played Candyland using all the gingerbread men to represent our family even though we took all the turns. My husband ended up winning even though he was out mowing the lawn. Which was another perk of getting home early; knocking something unexpected off the to do list.

Even being on the receiving end of a volcanic milk explosion from the baby was something to laugh off. In that moment I knew my self-care adjustments are helping and the short work night was the icing on the cake. My gratitude abounds!

I'm grateful for an unexpected short evening at work. I'm grateful for the blessing of having a flexible job that I love. I'm grateful for the delicious salad I had. I'm grateful for steak and spinach to boost my iron. I'm grateful for the amazing, deliciousness that is parmesan flakes and crumbles. I'm grateful to get to spend extra quality time with my daughter playing a game from my childhood. I'm grateful to get to hold and snuggle my baby a little extra. I'm grateful to laugh as I dripped with milk vomit. I'm grateful to be there for the baby during this explosion to calm and comfort her. I'm grateful to even have a few minutes to shower peacefully by myself.

What little things make your day? How can one simple change in schedule make a big difference? How do you like to spend your quality time?

May we remember to cherish the little blessings. May we laugh off the messes and focus on the bigger picture. Have a beautiful day!

At three years old my oldest daughter's manners are hit and miss. Lately they seem to be more miss, or at least questioning "why?" a dozen times before following through. 

The experts say you have to tell a preschooler something about two hundred times before it is really remembered. When they say two hundred times that obviously excludes songs, books, and the person half a restaurant away that said a bad word.

This age is notorious for the demand instead of the ask. My personal "favorite" is the cranky demand followed by a "please-y" with sweet, head cock at the end as she catches herself. Somehow she believes adding the Y at the end is cuter and thereby excuses all else.

Every once in a while it all seems to click. Tonight was one of those nights and beautifully it happened on family dinner night at my parents'. She remembered to say please several times and even tossed in a "no thank you" for good measure. After we left she said "Oh no! I forgot to tell MauMau and Papa what good dinner I ate. I forgot to tell the what good dinner they gave us!" My mommy heart was equal parts proud and melted for this sweet child.

I'm grateful to see hard, repetitive work paying off. I'm grateful to do my bet at modeling the behavior I want to see as well. I'm grateful for the days that go well. I'm grateful to hear my daughter's sweet voice saying kind words. I'm grateful for everyone who uses manners and speaks with love. I'm grateful to feel I'm doing something right.

What have you been doing or practicing over and over? How do you acknowledge break throughs and success?

May today remind us hard work does pay off. May we relish the little wins and focus on progress. Have a beautiful day!

It's that time again! That's right, the semi-annual blog about me recognizing I have lost sight of my self-care again. I would say that I don't know why this goal is the hardest for me to keep...but that would be a lie. I know exactly why. It is the result of not choosing to put myself as a priority because there is a preschooler, a new baby, a dog, a husband, a home, laundry, work, clients, and a million other things that I put first. 

In my head tonight I created a beautiful plan for getting self-care every day. It included waking up at 5:30am to get some time as well as staying up a little later to get some time. The catch with this plan is I am exhausted from staying up several times a night with the baby...and the preschooler. So in creating time to do things like yoga and meditation I am effectively reducing my sleep even more which in turn negatively impacts my health and self-care. Haha! Isn't adulthood a fun little game?! 

The need for self-care is definitely rearing its head though so it is time to make some changes. Even if I can't do an hour of self-care each day, I can squeeze in some bits of relaxation here and there to keep my sanity. I can take a nice hot bath on the days both kids nap at the same time. I can make a salad for lunch and commit to actually getting to sit to eat instead of grabbing whatever I can eat with one hand while nursing and doing six other things. And I can ask for some help, a short break, from one of the many people who have offered to watch my kids. 

Instead of continuing to walk around with my mind frazzled and my chest tight with stress, I can practice what I always tell my daughter. I can take a breath. I can use my words. I can ask for help. It's time to ask someone to pass the cucumbers, kick back and relax for a few minutes. And hey, while I'm at it, can you pass the chocolate too? 

I'm grateful for my body's strong and persistent reminder to relax. I'm grateful for all the people offering to help. I'm grateful to realize the cyclic nature of forgetting self-care. I'm grateful to see my excuses for what they are and start shifting my mind to make a change. I'm grateful for humor. I'm grateful for cucumbers...both to eat and to rest my eyes. And I'm definitely grateful for chocolate.

What self-care practices help you stay balanced? What trips up your self-care? How often do you take time for you?

May today solidify our commitment to ourselves. May we take the time we need to keep ourselves healthy, balanced, and happy. Have a beautiful day! 

When my three year old forgets her manners or starts to have a meltdown instead of just asking for what she needs we offer her a redo. It is a chance to take a breath and try again. It is a way of reminding her to use her words and manners while also giving her grace to still possibly receive what she wanted. 

It works for other things too. If I swoop her up to carry her upstairs to bed she can ask for a redo to climb the stairs herself if I forgot to ask if she wanted carried. 

Tonight was my chance to ask for a redo. I lost my temper right before it was time for her dad to take her to bed. I was left feeling very sad about how I had handled the situation and also sad I had missed out on a bedtime hug. I needed to make it right, so I asked for a redo. 

Her dad got her out of bed to come to the doorway. We got our hugs and I got to apologize. I got to tell her my "thank yous" for the day on what I thought she did really well and how much I love her. She got to tell me how much she loves me and misses me while she sleeps. 

Some people may say that teaching her she can have a redo doesn't prepare her for real life. There are certainly some things we can't redo and can't undo. Having a redo this way isn't about rewinding and pretending it didn't happen; it is about the grace of admitting a mistake and making amends as best we can. It's a lesson that isn't limited to preschoolers. In fact I think it is a powerful lesson for her to see that Mommy is human, and humbled by her own need to redo sometimes.

I'm grateful to have a redo. I'm grateful for my husband's help and support. I'm grateful to be humbled when I mess up. I'm grateful to still be blessed with hugs and snuggles from two precious girls. I'm grateful to have the opportunity to teach my girls so much. I'm grateful to be able to be home with them a good portion of the week. I'm grateful to love and be loved. And I'm grateful that when I make a mistake I can find grace waiting for me.

When do you need a redo? How do you go about making amends? If you have children, how do you teach them this valuable skill?

May we all find grace for our mistakes. May we be strong enough to admit our stumbles so we can grow each day. Have a beautiful day!