I am all about watching for signs from the Universe. I love feeling that connection and guidance. Yet sometimes I find myself wondering what's the message? 

Sometimes I can clearly see how I have created something with my intention or focus, for better or worse. Other times there is so much information to sift through I have a harder time finding the purpose. Perhaps that static IS what I am creating. Or perhaps I do know what the message is telling me but I am not really wanting to hear it. 

This weekend was full of signs. I could feel several very key moments that struck an emotion or pinged my brain in an "are you getting this" kind of way. Yet as I sit here at the end of the weekend I feel like there was conflicting messages. Am I giving conflicting intention on what I want and where I am going? 

Even as I type this I know the answer is yes, though I would love to say "of course not". The path of least resistance is nice. It is familiar. It is not really easy but it is comfortable. I love being comfortable. But maybe comfortable isn't my best path anymore. What's more, I wonder if it is a poor path for some of the people I love most. Perhaps these signs, these uncomfortable nudges are to prod me into growth. Perhaps they are signs for choosing change. 

It is time to be silent. It is time to ask, not to hear my mind answer, but to hear my heart and soul answer. It is time to ask with the intention of being open to the real message, even if that message is uncomfortable.

I'm grateful for some extra time this week to listen. I'm grateful to take some time to ask and ponder. I'm grateful to see the need to let go of my mind spinning and listen for the deeper message. I'm grateful to be honest with myself on what I am creating versus what I say I want. I'm grateful to recognize the signs, even when I may not be ready to hear the message clearly. I'm grateful to find the courage to hear.

What signs are showing up for you lately? Are they clear to interpret or is there some confusion? How can you seek clarity?

​May we always know we are loved and supported. May we be willing to take the steps necessary to grow into who we are meant to be next. Have a beautiful day!

Today is St. Patrick's Day and while we aren't doing a whole lot this year, we did have some themed crafts to do for a little fun. We also had a leprechaun themed dance party courtesy of youtube. 

My preschooler asked, "are leprechauns real?" 

When we decided to go the Santa route with our oldest we agreed that one she began to question it, we would not lie, but rather tell her the meaning of Santa and why we use that story as a tool. It would be a way to share about giving selflessly and maintain integrity by being honest. Little did we know that our little smarty pants would start questioning things much younger than we had anticipated. While Santa has survived another year, it appears that we are already on the cusp of holding up the integrity side of our promise. 

When my preschooler asked about leprechauns I responded that they were much like fairies and unicorns. She said, "oh, so they ARE real because unicorns are real animals." I found myself torn. I myself love living in the magical world where fairies may exist so do I really want to take away what she finds magical? I said, "if unicorns are real they are very rare and magical creatures." 

She asked if I had seen a unicorn or a leprechaun. I said no to the unicorn but that I had seen a man dressed as a leprechaun when I was in Ireland. I told her I haven't seen a fairy either but it doesn't stop me from putting out fairy garden things. 

I hope she will keep some magic as she ages. It is not easy. I hope she looks to the sky and finds delight in its beauty. I hope she sees the benefit in believing without seeing. I hope she adds her own magic and whimsy to this world. 

I'm grateful to be a mom. I'm grateful for all the ways it has matured me and all the ways it has kept me young. I'm grateful to try to balance magic and integrity as I build the relationship with my daughters. I'm grateful for opportunities to add magic to our lives. I'm grateful to find beauty in this gift. I'm grateful to believe seemingly impossible things can be possible. I'm grateful for delight, for whimsy, for creativity, and for the beauty around me.

What do you believe? What magic do you allow in your life?

May today remind us the beauty of believing. May we play and be whimsical. Have a beautiful day!

Love has made some people do some crazy things. Love makes us stronger and can make us more passionate. There are millions of different forms of love and yet there are not even a dozen ways (in english) to say it. The same "I love you" to my daughters means something a little different than the one said to my husband or to my mom or to my best friend.

I was reading about why we celebrate Valentine's Day and Bishop Valentine marrying people in secret during a time marriage was outlawed. It is a beautiful gift he gave and he and those he helped obviously felt it was worth the risk. 

I think of the challenges some people face even today just to get married to the person they love. It seems odd that any human would stand in the way of another human's right to express love to their partner. Even with the Supreme Court saying marriage is a legal right there are still places refusing to provide these services. 

While I sit, snuggled with my husband and watching out daughters today; I am happy. I am living my dream. But I cannot help but think maybe Valentine's Day could be more. Maybe instead of a holiday that has been commercialized and caters to the chocoholics, maybe it should be a holiday of voices. We could let our voices ring out in gratitude for those who get to live this right and also let our voices rise together demanding this right for all. 

To feel loved is something we all need. We may show it in different ways, need it in different ways, and receive it in different ways; but love is a necessity. It is a basic human right. And marriage is one way we are able to express this love. The same act that Bishop Valentine fought to give people thousands of years ago is still withheld from some. In honor of Valentine's Day, in honor of Valentine's sacrifice, let's remedy this and give everyone the right to marry the love of their life.

I'm grateful to be so blessed to have been allowed to marry (twice). I'm grateful for my amazing husband. I'm grateful to live my dream with my beautiful family. I'm grateful to have assisted others in finding places they could marry when our own state did not allow. I'm grateful my state does recognize the right for same sex marriages. I'm grateful for everyone who is expressing love today. I'm grateful for the love I receive each day and for the abundant love I have to give. 

How do you celebrate Valentine's Day? How can you have your voice heard in making love available to all?

May today remind us that we are all human and all in need of love. May we share love as easily as we breathe and cherish our loved ones each and every day. Have a beautiful day!

This is the morning of my week that requires a little extra oomph. Instead of taking a shower and then getting my girls ready for the day; I wrangle a dog into the shower, then each of my girls and finally do a quick shower myself. It is a process for sure but much faster than giving everyone a separate bath. 

On this particular morning I also had some vacuuming to do because my vacuuming day is Thanksgiving this week. I am grateful for my vacuum and a clean house...but I am not using it on Thanksgiving if I don't have to!

In the midst of everything I am feeling excited and a little nervous as I took on another commitment starting December 1st. I did something for myself that I have always wanted to do. I joined a book club. It is a weekly one that is only for the month of December so it is quite a commitment. 

When I was asked to join my initial reaction was "I absolutely can't take on one more thing!" I mean I'm working and navigating the covid cancelations and surveys and precautions, homeschooling, raising two girls, caring for an ailing dog, treating our house for the fleas she had, trying to maintain the house and spend some few minutes a day with my husband...oh and blogging. Some days it feels like a lot! 

Something stopped me from saying no. Perhaps it was the book that was going to be discussed and how it resonated especially as I process a recent loss. Perhaps it was a need to reconnect with these friends that I have not gotten to physically be with during the pandemic. Perhaps it was just wanting to do something for ME and it being one thing I've been wanting to do for years. No matter what the reason I finally told myself, "I can do this." And if keeping up with everyone else doesn't work, the worst that happens is I read when I can and chat with them later. Either way there is nothing to lose if I am moving forward with grace.

The most important factor in success is in what we tell ourselves. How are we going to frame it? What defines failure anyway? Success is only gained from trying and believing in ourselves is the first step.

I'm grateful to give myself some faith. I'm grateful to believe I can do this. I'm grateful to believe this book has something to offer even as it is different from my usual type of books (or possibly BECAUSE it is different). I'm grateful to say yes when I could have said no. I'm grateful to give myself this opportunity. I'm grateful for my friends inviting me. I'm grateful for a productive morning and a day of leisure and thanks tomorrow. I'm grateful for all my husband's help in cleaning and in helping with the shower shuffle of children. 

What can you reframe today? Where can you give yourself some grace and where can you believe in yourself a little more? What is one thing you have been wanting to do?

May today give us the boost of self-confidence to say yes. May we take the opportunities as they come and know it will work out as it is meant to work out. Have a beautiful day!

We decided to go on a short weekend camping trip. Isn't that the whole beauty of owning a camper? So off we went, just the five of us, on a little getaway just an hour away. 

It was only our second time camping with our little camper so there were still a few kinks to work out. We are figuring out a routine of how things need loaded and what needs brought along. There were a couple hiccups as things got forgotten, but nothing we couldn't make do without. 

I managed to get us ninety percent packed Friday so that when my husband got off work we could head out quickly. We knew we needed to be home before noon Sunday so that we could still meet up for family lunch. It gave us all day Saturday to just enjoy nature and family time.

When we camp we all get less sleep. We are up later but usually wake at the same time, sometimes earlier. We skip the baby's morning nap unless she grabs it as we hike but we do still try to take some time to rest in the afternoon. 

This trip we got to explore and play in a lake. I hadn't thought about it but it was my preschooler's first time in a lake. Having grown up around a lake it hadn't occurred to me the newness of seeing it through my kids' eyes as they experienced it for the first time. There was sand! There were waves! Look at the boats! 

Even making the hike back to the campground solo, carrying two crying kids and our stuff was still a memory worth making. (One kiddo got sand in her eye, the other cut her hand on a rock, and Dad was back at camp already making dinner.) We got to see a whole group of deer eating, take evening walks, and even took a whole family, snuggly nap. 

We got home, unloaded in record time, showered and made it to family lunch just a few minutes behind schedule. There is no question that I am completely exhausted. But it is the best kind of tired I could ask for at the end of a weekend. It is a tired full of memories made, moments shared, and treasures to cherish. 

I'm so grateful for our camper. I'm grateful for this trip. I'm grateful for the beautiful memories we made and will be able to keep making. I'm grateful for my girls' love of nature and getting dirty. I'm grateful the baby can be entertained for hours with just the gravel of the camp pad. I'm grateful for the renewed life our trips have brought out in my sweet dog, who is 14 years old. I'm grateful my preschooler is so inquisitive and wants to learn about everything. I'm grateful for my husband's sense of adventure that equals my own. I'm grateful to just say, "let's do it." whether "it" is a last minute trip or swimming even when I forgot a suit for myself. I'm grateful to seize the moment and live fully.

What is your best tired? What is your favorite way to seize the moment? How are you finding ways to live fully even in these odd times?

May we find plenty of moments to live fully. May we embrace the moment and float on the waves. Have a beautiful day!

Last night I stayed up later than usual so I could watch the tribute to John Lewis. He was a great man and I wonder why it is that we celebrate people so much more in death. I knew some of the great things he had done but I learned even more last night. He modeled what it means to be the change we wish to see. He didn't just speak it, he acted!

I have good ideas. I have a good heart. But I will admit that up until a few months ago I was incredibly naive to all the ways racism is ingrained in our country. I have been learning. I have a long way to go in the learning process and I will never fully understand. I hope to educate myself so I can raise my girls to be better, know more, and have those blinders removed. But is that it? Is that where it stops? Is educating the next generation enough?

Isn't that just saying that they will fix it? Are we really going to leave our messes for our children to clean up? And would we really be okay letting injustices go on in the meantime?! 

I realized last night from my place on the couch just how little I have DONE. I talk about being the change and I try to put positive messages out int he world and help those who come to me. But when I really break it down, the people I help are either paying me or friends and family. There are very few instances of deep help that I have given just to give and this awareness hurts my heart. 

I could say it begins with me but to be frank and honest that is complete b.s. It doesn't start with me because the crusade has been going for decades. The mere fact that it hasn't gotten further is heartbreaking and angering all at the same time. I will not let these feelings be pushed down and placated, I will put them to use. I will quit merely talking about being the change and start acting. 

John Lewis was a brother and friend to this country. He saw the ways it could be better and he acted. We owe it to him to keep the fight going. We must not let his efforts stop just because he is gone. Our children deserve to live in a country that is free. Everyone deserves to be free and until every person can be treated with equal respect, dignity, and rights, we are not free. 

Please stand with me. Don't let the sign in the yard be "enough". Don't let a couple shared Facebook posts be the end of your effort. Look in the eyes of every child, of every color, of every background, and of every orientation and see the divine child there. This has gone on long enough. It is time to stand. Who out there is willing to throw away your blinders, apologize for not seeing it sooner and stand for what is right?

I'm grateful to feel this passion surge through me. I'm grateful to have watched this special tribute. I'm grateful to witness the guilt I feel and know that I can start making changes today. I'm grateful for John Lewis and everyone who has been fighting this battle longer than they should have had to. I'm grateful for their persistence and their willpower. I'm grateful for the ways they made change happen. I'm grateful for a model to strive toward. 

Rest in peace, Mr. Lewis. Know that we will win this fight. There will be freedom.

What will you choose? Silence is a side. 

May we fight for the country we were promised, with freedom and liberty for all. May we let go of white privilege knowing we only win when we have true equality. Let your passions spark and find a way to make change. Have a beautiful, powerful day.

Today marks one year since my sweet baby surprised us by arriving a month early. Somehow stepping into motherhood a second time was... maybe not easier, but definitely more graceful. I have learned so much (again) this second time around.

This has certainly been a crazy year with lots of curveballs but it was made more beautiful by having this sweet child in the world. Staying home during covid gave me the opportunity to really play with my girls. It gave me the opportunity to see my baby crawl for the first time. Most of all it gave me the reminder of what is important. 

Baby girl, you are shy yet sassy. You don't let yourself get pushed around but you are always ready for a snuggle. You reserve your smiles for the worthy moments which makes them all the more beautiful when they shine through. I am so blessed to get to be your mama and nurture the person you will grow into. 

May you always find a reason to smile. May you live life to the fullest in your own unique way. May you chase your dreams with a passion and not let anyone back you down. May you always know how deeply loved you are! May you let yourself shine in all your unique ways.

I'm so grateful to have been blessed with a second daughter. I'm so grateful for all the ways being a mom has helped me grow into a better person. I'm grateful to learn from my children every day. I'm grateful for the surprise that happened one year ago today as my baby chose her own arrival date. I'm grateful for all the beautiful memories we have created this year and I'm grateful for all the moments to come. I'm grateful for your dimples and your snuggles. I'm grateful for every day I get to wake to your sweet face. I'm grateful to know love much deeper than I ever knew before kids. 

How can you celebrate you today? What steps are you taking to reach your dreams? Who helped you get to this point?

May today remind us to celebrate each moment with the ones we love. May we remember the world needs our unique beauty to shine. Have a beautiful day!

I have been so focused on everything that is going on and the short term. It was nice to take a break today and look a little further into the future. It was nice to construct some dreams and take steps to making them reality.

I read a study several years ago that said it was good for your mental health to plan a trip. The study said people who were planning a trip and looking forward to going somewhere were happier and mentally healthier. The study also found that people were actually happier while planning the trip than actually taking it.

It makes sense. There is all the excitement and anticipation in planning and none of the "plot twists" and hiccups that actually going may entail. For the last several years I have held on to this idea and when I am feeling low I will plan a trip.

After being cooped up at home for the majority of the last four months, however, I am seeing the very real need to physically go somewhere. Even if there are hiccups and plot twists and tantrums from two kiddos who haven't been socialized well for a third of a year; we still need a change of scenery. 

I'm grateful to plan. I'm grateful for the uplift just this tiny step makes in my mood. I'm grateful to take it a step farther and take steps toward getting a camper for our family. I'm grateful to see nature calling and a clear path to achieving our goals in this category. I'm grateful for the excitement our preschooler has over the idea too. I'm grateful for all the things that fell into place for this to be possible. I'm grateful to have a solution for getting out in this crazy time.

What are your dreams? How are you working toward them today? If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?

​May today remind us to dream. May we take steps each day to reach the dreams that will fulfill our hearts. Have a beautiful day!

Things are beginning to open back up. The numbers seem to be holding steady so far without a spike in cases. The light at the end of the tunnel seems to be glimmering ahead. 

I got to take the first active steps in planning for my return to work and was met with eager responses. But what is the new normal? There are new protocols and measures in place which means different scheduling. My coworkers and I have to do more co-planning. 

It is also an opportunity to create the schedule I want now that my family has slowed down and re-prioritized. It is a chance to hold my boundaries. It is a chance to rebuild.

I'm grateful for this opportunity. I'm grateful to feel the pull in all directions to remind me what I don't want. I'm grateful to create how things will look moving forward with my husband's input. I'm grateful for a flexible family. I'm grateful for a great client community and an eager welcome back. I'm grateful to love what I do and look forward to creating this new normal.

What will your new normalcy be as we move forward? How do you want your life to look?

May we make conscious steps moving forward to create the path we want. May we have the courage to step out of the ruts of where we have been. May we find joy, beauty, and gratitude as we move forward. Have a beautiful day!

As the state and city begin making plans for re-opening there are a lot of questions and uncertainty. Divided beliefs on whether or not it is safe to re-open and to what extent rings out from every outlet. 

Who will re-open and when? Who will attend and with what precautions? I have gotten survey after survey in my email as every place from my girls' swim school to the local children's museum to our bank try to get an idea when people will return for business. Meanwhile, I find myself searching for the same information on when I can safely assist my clients again without much guidance from the organizations that were full of leadership in shutting us down.

The financial hardship caused during this pandemic is having impacts on every level. My daughter's school has decided to close permanently. It was a beautiful school where teachers were like extended family and the loss cuts deep for me, and more so for my preschooler who is already struggling with her world being turned upside down. When she asks where her friends will go and who will be her teacher now I have no answers. 

I sit in this place of discomfort knowing I am at a crossroads. I could change everything going forward or nothing. I have been given an opportunity and yet I have not got the sleep or focus to make clear decisions. It is sitting in the midst of a hurricane and being asked, "Which flooring do you want when you rebuild your home? Will the cabinets be painted?" 

Part of me feels stuck. The other part of me whats to race around and "fix" everything with any plan I can find just to not feel this discomfort and uncertainty. But what if I just sit with this feeling? What happens if I don't stuff it or brush it aside OR cling to it? What if I just feel it? 

When I actually sit and say, "I don't know..." then I feel a small whisper calling,"yet". When I just sit and allow myself to feel the overwhelm and fear...it actually starts to melt away. Not because I have a solution or because I am covering it up but rather because deep down, when I allow myself to hear it, I have a deep trust.

It is a trust in the river continuing to flow even as its course is changing. It is a trust in things moving forward however they are meant to move. It is a trust in myself to make the best choices from what presents itself and trusting that the path will present itself. It is a trust that I am not in this alone but rather am so very supported by so many loving and wonderful people in my life. It is a trust that I am brave enough to make changes that need made even if it makes waves. It is a trust that this storm will pass like every one that has come before. And it is a trust that everything happens for a reason and this will help me make changes and navigate my best course. It is a trust that sitting in discomfort for a little while will ultimately bring me the joy and peace I was seeking. 

I'm grateful to just sit. I'm grateful to allow the feelings to flow. I'm grateful to hear that little voice whispering the most important word, yet. I'm grateful for trust. I'm grateful for all the support and love I'm blessed with each day. I'm grateful for health. I'm grateful for options. I'm grateful to see so many paths laid out in front of me and knowing that it is my choice which way to go. I'm grateful to pause and make the next steps consciously and purposefully.

What are you sitting with today? What whispers do you hear? What do you trust?

May today remind us we have survived one hundred percent of our challenges so far. May we have confidence and trust as we make our next steps. May we find support at each turn. Have a beautiful day!