Today was National Train Your Brain Day. I used to teach a workshop on this but I am at a cycle in my life right now where I am re-learning what I used to "know" in a different way. Hopefully some day I will get back to some level of teaching but right now I am the one in training.

The funny thing about Train Your Brain Day is that in reality we are training our brain every day. This particular day was set aside to remind us to train consciously. Each habit we are training for not only needs the 21 days to create a base "routine" but more like 60 days to make it an automated routine that doesn't require our conscious reminder to carry it out. On top of that, if it requires un-learning a previous habit it can take even longer. But whether we are choosing a conscious habit or not, we are training our brain each day.

Currently my efforts are on remembering to slow down. Whether it is my mind and thoughts, my to do list, or even just walking across a room slowing down seems to be key in keeping my stress level down. When I let "the balls" get rolling too fast it takes me longer to unwind at the end. It also leads to stress reactions to situation instead of calm responses. And so I train and even with training I need reminders from some of my closest friends when I start to step into the old routine again. 

I'm grateful for deep breaths. I'm grateful to use scuba imagery as well as breathing techniques to calm myself. I'm grateful for reminders from friends given with love. I'm grateful to make the effort to slow down. I'm grateful to take time to just sit today and for the help of my parents in accomplishing this task. I'm grateful to recognize when I am rushing and remind myself to just slow down. I'm grateful for how it feels when I am going slower. And I'm grateful to recognize each decision and each day is an opportunity to train my brain.

How are you training your brain? Is your day to day training in line with your long term goals?

May today remind us how powerful the mind can be. Help us break the habits that are not serving us and train our brain to choose a better way. Have a beautiful day!

As we enter into a new work week I can't help but have marriage on my mind. My husband and I were lucky to have carved out a small portion of one on one time this weekend despite multiple anti-nap shenanigans by our girls. Also this week marks my parents' anniversary, forty-one years. 

It was said so well in Princess Bride. "Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam, and wove, twue wove." It is said so well not because of the humor, though I do love that movie, but because of how it is said. Marriage is a blessed arrangement. It is hopefully a dream within a dream and true love. But ike the pronunciation, or perhaps just enunciation, it is not perfect.

Marriage, true marriage wasn't meant to be picture perfect. It wasn't meant to be the reflection of the crystal goblets and eating off the fine china in candle light with never a negative word said. It was meant to be spaghetti left on the chair and sat in, bonfires that sometimes get larger than planned, and renovations both of the home and of the relationship.

We weren't made to be rigidly one way for our whole life. Life shapes us and we shift and adapt in return. Marriage is like life. Things come our way and we each adapt in our own way. The beauty is being able to adapt our own way and still respect, love, and if we're lucky even understand our mate. Marriage is the ability to go through all that and still take each others' hand and say "what's next?" 

I'm grateful to witness the beauty of my parents' marriage. I'm grateful for all they have taught me as they navigated their marriage. I'm grateful to hold hope for my husband and I celebrating forty-one years of marriage even though we started much later. I'm grateful for Princess Bride and for this quote that is beautifully perfect in its imperfect delivery. I'm grateful to be walking my path with my soulmate and to make the commitment to each other even amongst the distractions of life. I'm grateful for our beautiful daughters and even their shenanigans. 

What does marriage look like to you? What is the most important aspect of your own view of marriage?

May we cherish the moments we have with the ones we love. May we come through each bump stronger and more in love. And may we renew our commitment each day. Have a beautiful day!

Music plays an important role in my mood. I seem to absorb the music playing around me. This means I have to be cognizant of what music is playing. Sad music will bring sad emotions to the surface. Bouncy music makes me feel buoyant and inspiring music, you guessed it, inspires me. 

I haven't been listening to a lot of music other than the kid tunes I play for my daughter. And I have gotten out of the habit of listening to music around the house for the most part except for the occasional evening home with my family. 

This morning I felt it calling to me. I turned on Mr. Stinky Feet to bop along to with my girls in the morning but then slipped back into silence as morning turned to afternoon. At one point before I put my daughters down for nap I heard my oldest singing "This Little Light of Mine." It warmed my heart and put a smile on my face.

Soft music is always playing as I work, part of the job, but I rarely pay attention to the instrumental lullabies. On the way home I was conflicted because I had a headache from the storm moving in. I decided to dig deep on my ipod to an album I haven't listened to in a while, one to feed my soul.

I turned on Nahko Bear's "Medicine for the People". Let me preface by saying I do not like every song on this album, a few are quite offensive and many have at least a couple swear words which I wish were edited out. This is actually why I haven't listened to it in a long time. Even the songs I love off the album can not be safely listened to in earshot of my daughter. Anyway, I turned it on and belted out the parts I could remember. One lyric is talking about feeling like you're spiritually dying and praying for guidance. He says he took a dose of the music. It struck me that this was what I was needing, a dose of soul-healing music.

God speaks to each of us in our own way. We each have our own ideas on what that means and how it all works. Today I felt spoken to through the music. This little light of mine, I WILL let it shine. I was born to be here right now, a part of this space in time, a part of this family for a reason. I have something to contribute and I have plenty to learn. My ears are open as well as my heart. I'm listening to the music but also beyond the music to whatever message I'm supposed to be hearing right now.

I'm grateful for music. I'm grateful another person at another place in their own life can write the words that speak directly to me in my moment. I'm grateful to sing, even off key. I'm grateful to express myself and feel heard. I'm grateful for the messages I receive. I'm grateful for all the blessings in my life, my girls, my family. I'm grateful to allow music to be a part of our lives and commit to adding more of it back into our daily routine.

What is your favorite song? How does it make you feel? Do you choose to listen to the music that raises you up?

May we make conscious choices about the energy we surround ourselves. May we remember to let loose and sing, even dance and let our spirit (and light) shine for the world to see. Have a beautiful day!

This week has been a big reflection on death, what's important, and what will be remembered. Monday brought the untimely loss of my uncle. Today is my grandpa's birthday. He passed away three years ago, just days before my first daughter was born, but I still miss him like it was a month ago.

Right now everyone is talking about my uncle. He was always there to help in whatever way he could. He stayed with my grandpa in the hospital. He was always up for watching any of his grandkids. He would give you the shirt off his back. He was silly and fun. And it is hard to believe we will never get to hear his laugh again.

When my grandma passed away my parents took my grandpa to go visit some siblings in the northwest. I was struggling with the idea that I would never hear my grandma's voice again. I would not get to hear her funny saying. One of the people they went to visit was my grandma's sister, whom I knew best by her outrageously fun personality and loud laugh. I asked my mom, when they saw her, to record her laugh for me. I didn't have a recording of my grandma but I could get one of her sister's merriment at least. Unfortunately it wasn't the trip for merriment.

My grandpa will forever be remembered by his orneriness first and foremost. He was also a wealth of knowledge on natural remedies and cures. I frequently asked for his opinion and wisdom and I still find myself feeling a little lost and heartbroken each time I have to try to research an issue on my own. I will always remember his smile.

So in reflecting on what I cherish in memory of my loved ones, I must ask myself; how do I want to be remembered? Will they say I would do anything for my family? Will they remember me as playful and fun and laughing or serious and stressed and rushed? How will my kids remember me as a mom? And what do I need to change to offer positive traits to remember me by?

I'm grateful for this week of reflection, though I would give anything for it to be under different circumstances. I'm grateful for my uncle's laugh and generosity. I'm grateful for my grandpa's orneriness and wisdom. I'm grateful for my great aunt's over the top playful personality. I'm grateful for my playful, silly side. I'm grateful for my creativity and my big heart. I'm grateful to truly believe family is the most important thing in the world. I'm grateful to start today in making little changes to be sure I am remembered for the positive traits that are part of me. I'm grateful to remember to live and to live for today.

How will you be remembered? What gap is there between daily life and who you want to be immortal?

May today remind us that each day is a choice to be our best self. May we take steps to bridge the gap between how we act and how we want to be remembered. Have a beautiful day!

It's that time again! That's right, the semi-annual blog about me recognizing I have lost sight of my self-care again. I would say that I don't know why this goal is the hardest for me to keep...but that would be a lie. I know exactly why. It is the result of not choosing to put myself as a priority because there is a preschooler, a new baby, a dog, a husband, a home, laundry, work, clients, and a million other things that I put first. 

In my head tonight I created a beautiful plan for getting self-care every day. It included waking up at 5:30am to get some time as well as staying up a little later to get some time. The catch with this plan is I am exhausted from staying up several times a night with the baby...and the preschooler. So in creating time to do things like yoga and meditation I am effectively reducing my sleep even more which in turn negatively impacts my health and self-care. Haha! Isn't adulthood a fun little game?! 

The need for self-care is definitely rearing its head though so it is time to make some changes. Even if I can't do an hour of self-care each day, I can squeeze in some bits of relaxation here and there to keep my sanity. I can take a nice hot bath on the days both kids nap at the same time. I can make a salad for lunch and commit to actually getting to sit to eat instead of grabbing whatever I can eat with one hand while nursing and doing six other things. And I can ask for some help, a short break, from one of the many people who have offered to watch my kids. 

Instead of continuing to walk around with my mind frazzled and my chest tight with stress, I can practice what I always tell my daughter. I can take a breath. I can use my words. I can ask for help. It's time to ask someone to pass the cucumbers, kick back and relax for a few minutes. And hey, while I'm at it, can you pass the chocolate too? 

I'm grateful for my body's strong and persistent reminder to relax. I'm grateful for all the people offering to help. I'm grateful to realize the cyclic nature of forgetting self-care. I'm grateful to see my excuses for what they are and start shifting my mind to make a change. I'm grateful for humor. I'm grateful for cucumbers...both to eat and to rest my eyes. And I'm definitely grateful for chocolate.

What self-care practices help you stay balanced? What trips up your self-care? How often do you take time for you?

May today solidify our commitment to ourselves. May we take the time we need to keep ourselves healthy, balanced, and happy. Have a beautiful day! 

Today was an emotional rollercoaster but, as my daughter would say, "in the grand scheme of things" it was a good day. From clearing the pool at my baby's first swim lessons from a poop explosion to pride in my preschooler for facing a fear, to the comfort of returning home from work to big snuggles the day covered just about every emotion.

What I couldn't help but observe though was the drama that came with the emotion. If I'm being honest I will admit to a certain flair and propensity for drama. It is part of what makes me a good storyteller, a trait passed down to me. And yet what makes for good storytelling also makes for compounded emotions when just living and narrating everyday life. Not every situation needs told and not every moment is climactic. In fact, most moments are very anti-climactic and being the narrator of my own story gives me the power to choose which moments get a notation.

In sharing my pool experience to a friend her response was "did you laugh?" I was too mortified to laugh. I was nearly in tears from the embarrassment. But as we talked I realized that giving that situation so much of my emotional attention was really more draining than necessary. It was embarrassing but no need to dwell on it. Drop the drama and it quickly faded to a side note.

There isn't anything "wrong" with either response. It's just a matter of what I want to spend my energy and attention on. That moment is one I think I'll leave behind.

I'm grateful to hear my daughter's voice as I remind myself to look at the grand scheme of things. I'm grateful for my storytelling ability.I'm grateful to recognize a choice. I'm grateful for the reminder from a friend to just laugh. I'm grateful to remind myself to focus on the energy I put in because that is the energy that will come back to me. I'm grateful to ditch some drama and also to acknowledge some drama is part of who I am. I'm grateful to practice accepting me even while attempting to grow.

What is your "grand scheme"? What are you giving energy to today?

May we make conscious choices and receive conscious rewards.May we strive to raise our vibration to bring the things we desire without drama. Have a beautiful day!

This weekend the project bug bit me. Looking around the house I saw so many areas needing organized and so much needing purged. Between new baby clutter, a three year old birthday quickly approaching, and just years of collecting; the house feels ready to burst at the seams. Or maybe it is still just the nesting phase lingering as we welcome our addition. 

No matter the reason, it was a perfect weekend for action! My husband got some great work done on the outside while I took advantage of nap times to clean and organize. I cleaned the clothes out of my daughter's drawer that no longer fit. I got some cleaning done in the nursery and master bathroom, though both need more work. The most satisfying was organizing all the party stuff and craft stuff inside the pantry.

It's funny how something so simple as organizing and clearing out can be so deeply satisfying. The intrinsic reward of seeing the job accomplished is great. The added benefit of someone else noticing is nice too. And the functionality that results from a clean, organized space is priceless.

I'm grateful both my girls napped this weekend. I'm grateful they timed their naps mostly together so I could work free of distraction. I'm grateful to see progress on our house. I'm grateful to see empty space on shelves and to close drawers without struggle. I'm grateful for a productive weekend. I'm grateful for my husband's can-do attitude that accomplished so much this weekend. I'm grateful the storms let up for a bit so outdoor work was possible. I'm grateful to focus on the accomplishment of projects done not the steady list of to-dos. 

What things are intrinsically rewarding to you? How are you choosing to spend your time?

May we put our words to action. May we go after our goals knowing anything is possible when we try. Hav a beautiful day!

There seems to be some kind of beacon that my energy sends out when I am about to meditate or in some way relax. The beacon travels out and calls to my children. It tells them they need to seek me out urgently and insistently.

I'm still trying to find a good time to meditate as we try to establish some sort of routine with a new baby. Today I made three attempts at meditating. All three were foiled within five minutes. All three attempts were made while the kids, in theory, were sleeping. At one point I checked over the monitor that both children were sound asleep. Neither had changed positions or made noise in nearly ten minutes. It seemed a safe bet they were out. I clicked play on the guided meditation I had chosen and the counter had not even reached two minutes when one was wailing for me and the other stirring. Seriously. 

Tomorrow is National Relaxation Day. Normally I would have planned some time to unwind, meditate, maybe even take a bubble bath. But currently I think the best "relaxation" gift I can give myself is letting go of any plan or attachment to getting a specific block of time to do this. Instead I will try to find relaxation in the little moments; the breathes between needs, the quiet of nursing one child while the other scampers off to choose the next book for us to read. 

In a month or two...or ten, we will have a routine again and I will find moments to fulfill this need. In the meantime I will find other ways to accommodate my self-care while letting go of attachment to how it looks. I will also be exploring how to mute this beacon that seems to alert my children when I try to grab a few minutes to meditate. 

I'm grateful for humor, even dry, to navigate these moments of frustration. I'm grateful to let go of the ideal of how meditation "should" look. I'm grateful to still have gotten a few minutes here and there to recenter. I'm grateful for my husband's help tonight as we continue to work out the messages our new addition is trying to communicate. I'm grateful to just sit and hold her and equally grateful to get out for a walk. I'm grateful for days like tomorrow that remind me to relax and I'm grateful to adjust my mindset to gain that outcome.

How do you like to relax? What are your biggest challenges in making time for self-care? How do you find balance?

May we find a breath of calm in the little moments. May there be enough of those to sustain us. And may we persist in finding ways to include relaxation in our day. Have a beautiful day!

Today I did two things for myself. The first actually happened last week. I asked for help for today. My older daughter wanted to go to a Clifford exhibit downtown to play. In the same area is also a kids art studio that we enjoy.

I was unsure about navigating downtown and two kid chaotic (but fun) places with a nearly three year old ball of energy and a one month old cuddle bug. What if the three year old darted off? What if the newborn, who has struggled with tummy troubles, has a crying fit and I can't focus on having fun with the older. And so I called my mom and asked for her to tag along. As you might imagine, the eager grandma said yes!

The second thing I did for myself was communicate the importance of me spending quality time with my older daughter. I love my baby to the moon and back but I have truly missed the one on one quality time with my elder child. Today filled that bucket well. 

I'm grateful to speak up for what I need. I'm grateful I asked for help. I'm grateful for my mom's help. I'm grateful today went so well. I'm grateful for so many kid friendly activities near us. I'm grateful for quality time and to be silly with my daughter. I'm grateful for the beautiful blessing of these two girls. I'm grateful to have my bucket overflowing.

How do you fill your joy bucket? When do you ask for help? What are you needing this week and how can you ask for it?

May we remember it is a strength to ask for help when we need it. May we commit to doing the things that fill our hearts and make our buckets overflow. Have a beautiful day.