After a scorching hot end of Summer it was nice to have some slightly cooler temperatures today. I'm not a fan of being cold but it is possible that I own about a dozen jackets that I love to wear. This morning provided the perfect opportunity to wear one. 

I love when I can wear a jacket in the morning, be comfortably warm in the afternoon, then have a drive with the windows down ride home from work. Today met all this criteria. Autumn is finally creeping out of hiding! 

The cooler temperatures have me looking forward to pumpkin spice candles, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, pumpkin spice cereal. It isn't just my nose and taste buds looking forward to Autumn; my eyes are ready for the beautiful colored leaves that grace us this time of year. 

Driving home tonight I was thinking about Halloween and my birthday that are both approaching. I looked up at the beautiful sunset and clouds and couldn't help but see a mask. It was like two orangish-yellow eyes glowing at me and reminding me pumpkin carving season is just around the corner too.

In case you couldn't tell, this is my favorite season! It has all my favorite things and in return I have an abundance of gratitude! 

I'm grateful for pumpkin spice everything. I'm grateful for pumpkin chocolate chip cookies which are amazing! I'm grateful for all the beautiful colors the leaves turn here in the heartland. I'm grateful for anticipation. I'm grateful for the first hints of Autumn weather. I'm grateful for birthdays that mean I was blessed with one more year. I'm grateful for my jackets and sweatshirts. I'm grateful for Halloween and fun, playful costumes. I'm grateful for the delicious Autumn soups and other cooler weather foods that will be gracing my table. I'm grateful my husband is an amazing chef!

What is your favorite thing about Autumn? What do you look forward to this time of year? What is your favorite time of year?

May today renew our hope and remind us that change can be beautiful. May we take time to enjoy the beauty of this season as it rolls in. Have a beautiful day!

September 11th holds a special kind of scar. Most of us can remember exactly where we were that day and the flood of emotions that unfolded with the news. 

I was a couple weeks into my first year of college. It was my first time really away from my parents aside from little week long vacations. I woke up and walked to my first class oblivious to what was happening. My college professor greeted us with hysterics and told us to all go home and hunker down, enjoy some bread and treats because the country was going to war and those items wouldn't be available. She told us life as we knew it was going to change and we would have to grow up fast. My roommate and I spent the rest of the day in our dorm room watching the tv and making calls to our parents. 

I did not have a direct loss, no family or friends in the towers. I did not know anyone on the planes. Yet it is the type of tragedy that marks everyone. 

Two years later on that day I watched my boyfriend get his pin for Army Airborne after enlisting in response to the towers falling. Pride mixed with fear knowing he faced deployment.

And seven years after that, September 10th,  I walked out of a courtroom dazed and lost as a judge finalized our divorce. It seemed like the date itself had some kind of curse.

Six years later I couldn't help but be a little nervous when I was told my rainbow baby's due date was September 10th. Was this going to be the breaking of the cycle or would I lose this most precious gift to the date that only seemed capable of heartache? 

My rainbow baby arrived that year, two weeks early. It was the most beautiful blessing I could have asked for. Now I hold my second sweet daughter as I reflect on all this date has meant. In my personal story the losses of this date were what ultimately gave me the beautiful gift of the children I hold today. For me it is a story with a bright side. But not everyone has this same blessing. For some this date marks the loss of their child, spouse, sibling, parent, friend. I pray that each of the people left behind has found some joy, some peace, and some way to move forward. 

I'm grateful to have a bright side in my own story. I'm grateful for my roommate that day. I'm grateful for the ability to call home. I'm grateful for the miracle of those who survived. I'm grateful to get to see as the media tracks the 9/11 babies, now the age I was when this tragic event took place. I'm grateful to see how young eighteen really was and to have a few more years of wisdom today. I'm grateful for my first husband's bravery in answering the call to duty. I'm grateful for all I learned during those years together and I'm grateful for all I have learned about myself and relationships since then. 

Where were you that day? What narrative have you created around that day in your personal story? How do we grow love and respect into our children and the world so we never have to bear witness to a tragedy like this again?

May today's reflection move us forward toward love. May the memories help us grow. May we work together to make this world a more loving place for our children. Have a beautiful day!

Hope carries such strength it can get the mind over immeasurable hurdles. It is the soft but persistent pull out of bed each morning no matter how early the day calls. It is the whisper that encourages you to dare to dream bigger. It is the silent prayer, answered.

Hope has a unique strength. It makes the impossible, possible. It energizes and uplifts. And it saves in so many ways. Hope is the universe's promise to each of us.

Do you have hope? What instills hope for you? What does that hope give you the courage to do? 

I'm grateful for renewed hope today. I'm grateful to see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I'm grateful to trust my heart and seek alternative solutions for my daughter's struggle. I'm grateful to have answers to some questions and some worries relieved. I'm grateful for intuition and listening to my gut. I'm grateful to be on this road together with my family. I'm grateful for my daughter's loving smile.

May we trust our instincts, follow our heart and be rewarded with hope. May that hope come to fruition in the best possible ways. Have a beautiful day!

August 8th is National Happiness Happens Day. Sometimes it doesn't seem like this is true, yet other times it is easy to see how happiness just rains down unexpectedly. The thing is happiness is all about perspective and what we are open to receive.

If we are in the midst of grieving it will be hard to open ourselves to see happiness around us. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong or bad about grieving. It is a natural state. Yesterday I read a quote that said "grieving is our receipt to show how much we loved." In fact, we need to grieve in order to free our hearts from that ache so we can find some happiness again.

Stress can be like dark sunglasses making it hard to see the bright rays of happiness around us. I know in my house we have had a rough few days as we try different things to help our newest addition from the upsets of reflux while navigating lack of sleep. But there are still simple joys that shine through if I am willing to stop and see them. The sound of my daughter's laughter is sweet to my ears and brings my heart happiness and joy. My husband's offer to help with something simple and without being asked brings happiness. The abundance of clothing I have that allows me to put on a dry shirt time and again after being puked on brings me happiness, as I really cannot stand sitting in wet clothing. Every small win, shared smile, and cuddly moment is something that can bring happiness if I am open to receive it. 

Happiness happens. The universe wants to give us positive experiences even in the midst of growth challenges. It is up to us if we will laugh or cry, open our eyes to happiness or stay in the grey cloud of one perspective. Neither option is wrong, there is a time for everything. But when we are ready, happiness is there just waiting to happen, waiting to be noticed.

I'm grateful to try my best to pause and see the beautiful times within another stressful day. I'm grateful to be able to just call my mom and have a few minutes chat over the noise of screaming children to keep my sanity by having another adult to speak. I'm grateful to laugh when I can and sing when I want to scream to try to maintain my own balance. I'm grateful to see how lack of sleep affects my relationships and my responses so I can make conscious efforts to balance it. I'm grateful to get some time with my older daughter, jsut the two of us today. I'm grateful to have gotten a little nap during the miracle blessing of getting both girls to nap at the same time today! And I'm grateful to head into tomorrow determined to keep my eyes open to happiness.

What keeps you from seeing the happiness around you? What are some of the beautiful things that happened today to inspire happiness. What would help you to see more and receive more of these happy moments tomorrow?

​May we take time to look for the good in each moment. When the world is going to crazy and stress or grief is mounting, may we have the strength to sit within in and still find some happines filtering through. Have a beautiful day!

Nine years ago my life felt like it was crumbling apart. My marriage was ending and the tunnel seemed too deep for there to be light on the other end. Yet today I can look back and the sting of those wounds seem dulled and ancient. 

Unfortunately I have a friend going through something similar. I have a loved one feeling a similar sting. And I stand by and watch as their lives feel like they are shattering all around them. It is sand paper over my own healed wounds. I know they will get through this. I know it is happening for a reason. Someday they will be able to look back from a place in the sunshine. But there are no words to make it better in this moment.

I'm grateful wounds heal with time. I'm grateful to have faith that the people I care about will find the light again. I'm grateful to be here for them as they were there for me. I'm grateful to be with a an amazing man who is good and loving and faithful. I'm grateful for the beautiful family we have together. I'm grateful that dream came true. And I'm grateful for the crumbling that had to happen to clear the way for these blessings.

When has your life crumbled to give way to something better? Who were there for you in your time of need? Can they count on you in the same way?

May we have faith that the rebuild is always worth the fall. May we let go of the past and allow old wounds to heal. And may we, as a society, make more effort to grow love and supportive relationships with the people around us. Have a beautiful day!

After three or four nights of no sleep my mind is getting pretty foggy. As I have admitted before I am not great at asking for help. It is something I struggle with and my progress seems like the tide, coming and going. 

Today I spoke up. I spoke up to a friend about the struggles we were having with my daughter's tummy and got some advice that I am implementing tonight. Then I spoke to my husband and asked for more support during the night shift. It is hard for me to ask this because he has to go to work in the morning and I do not. Also, he does not have the equipment for the nighttime feedings. But when our sweet daughter is up from one thirty in the morning until after five, something's got to give. We came to a good compromise that will hopefully get us through this rough patch until she sleeps again. 

In addition to my husband offering some additional help he also continued with his usual practice of making dinner. Tonight he made us Croc Monsters. Ok, well technically it is called Croi Masuer but I was never good at French and croc monsters is funnier to say. My husband is an awesome chef and his béchamel sauce was amazing! I don't think I'll be able to go back to regular ham and cheese sandwiches.

I'm so grateful to be surrounded by support. I'm grateful for my husband's amazing cooking skills. I'm grateful he pushes me to try new things and that I almost always love them. I'm grateful for the tide coming in and taking the steps necessary to reach out for support. I'm grateful for my friend's advice and I'm grateful for a small sliver of hope for some sleep tonight. I'm grateful for my husband and the compromise we reached. I'm grateful we are growing together and improving our communication as we both share honest needs. 

Is asking or accepting help difficult for you? What is one way you prefer to receive support? 

May today give us the courage to use our voice and speak up for what we need. May we find support eagerly waiting for us in return. Have a beautiful day!

It is the fourth of July; a time where we celebrate our country's independence. Today my mind is circling back to the founding fathers, as we call them. As I try to imagine what life back them would have been like I have to ask myself if I would have had the courage and creativity to envision a completely different life for me and my countrymen. 

To bring change it takes people who are ok being different. It takes people who can think outside the box. It takes people who can not only dream bigger but have the courage to take the steps to make that come true. And it takes the strength and resilience to be an independent thinker even when some can't see it or resist change.

I try to remember this as I interact with my daughter. She has a strength and independence that is both wonderful and, at times, frustrating as a parent. Yet I can see her potential to accomplish great things. The trick is making it through what I truly need her to do and still respecting and feeding her independent thinking. 

I'm grateful to see my daughter's strength. I'm grateful to imagine what awesome things she will do as she grows. I'm grateful to get little peeks into how her brain works as she tells me things well beyond what I thought a not-even-three year old could process. I'm grateful to remind myself her stubbornness and strong opinions will serve her so well as she grows. I'm grateful to do my best to nurture these traits. 

I'm grateful for all the independent thinkers that have come before. I'm grateful for their strength and courage to bring us some of the rights and privileges we have today. I'm grateful for our founding fathers but also the independent thinkers that came after to make us even better, like Martin Luther King Jr. I'm grateful for all the activists out there today fighting and envisioning true equality for all and honest respect for our differences. I'm grateful for the opportunities this country has for growth as a whole as we keep doing our best to move toward love.

Are you an independent thinker? What thoughts are you holding onto instead of sharing with the world? What positive difference can you make in the world today?

May today give us time to celebrate all we have and how far we have come. May we also take the time to envision the future we want for our country and for the future generations. Have a beautiful day!

The Summer Solstice has arrived! The first day of Summer is here and with the changing of the seasons comes abundance to celebrate. 

The Summer Solstice is the day we have the most sunlight. Already the sky is turning pink as the sun begins to rise in the neighborhood. It reminds us of the light inside each of us and can serve to reignite the sparks of our passions as we evaluate what is important to us moving forward.

This is also a time of change and beginnings as we move to a new season and reconnect with nature as the weather invites us outside. We have had a particularly rainy Spring and while the rain is predicted to continue the forecast says it will hold off for a portion of today so we can celebrate.

While nature is providing an abundance of light it is a great time for me to reflect on the abundance in my life. I woke early this morning (about 4:30) to the soft rhythmic movements of my soon-to-be-born baby having hiccups. She is testing the new skills of breathing and preparing herself for the weeks to come when she will emerge into this wonderful world. 

I'm so blessed to have an amazing husband and now two beautiful daughters to celebrate. I have a job that provides income and flexibility. We have a home full of love that is supportive of our growth. I'm surrounded by friends and family who are loving, generous, and kind. And I have a dog that despite not getting the attention she deserves is loyal, loving, and always willing to be near us.  Abundance flows fully here.

I'm grateful for the changing of the seasons. I'm grateful for the Summer Solstice and to take time today to reflect and celebrate. I'm grateful to spend this day with friends. I'm grateful the weather is cooperating for some outdoor time. I'm grateful for the symbolism and reminders this day brings. I'm grateful for all the abundance in my life. I'm grateful to feel the gentle, rhythmic hiccups of my sweet, new baby. I'm grateful to take time to just stay in bed this morning and reflect on all my blessings and the beauty of this day, this moment, and this chapter of my life. I'm grateful for sunshine. I'm grateful for all mother nature provides in her balance and cycles. And I'm grateful to be a part of this beautiful world.

What are you grateful for today? What abundance can you celebrate in your life? What significance of the Solstice resonates with you the most?

May today provide balance and light. May we see clearly all our blessings and the abundance that surrounds us. May we celebrate the light within while taking time to enjoy the sunlight as well. Have a beautiful day!

I enjoy reading books that make me think or help me grow. There are plenty of books out there I have enjoyed on positive parenting and several "self-help" books that have inspired me. Brené Brown is one author I have enjoyed, especially her book The Gift of Imperfection.

Recently I read a book called Unglued. It was a little more bible focused than my nature but there was a lot of great take-away thoughts. The part that touched me most was not getting caught up in the moments we fall back to old habits or reactions, but rather recognizing that we have made imperfect progress away from those reactions to be able to "fall back". 

We are not perfect. We were not made to be perfect. And how each of our "best" looks is entirely different. It is dependent on so many factors including experiences, beliefs, situations, and personality. 

Overnight I had an experience that gave me the gift of seeing how far I have come in one area of my life. In 2011 I was diagnosed with PTSD. It stemmed from a childhood trauma and was compounded, or at least made more obvious, by a few experiences in my young adult life. One way it presented in my life was me being a very light sleeper. To feel secure enough to sleep I needed a small amount of light, silence and a closed, if not locked, door. 

In my quest to help heal some of this I had read a book about another woman who had gone through something vaguely similar. In the book she had confessed that she had not been able to get over the need for the locked door. She shared her heartbreak of broken promises to her young daughter as she would try but fail to be able to leave this open access to herself at night. Her story made me all the more determined to find a way to overcome this.

Fast forward to meeting my husband. His sleep needs are complete darkness and a sound machine or fan. When we moved in together he accommodated my need for light with a small runway of those battery operated tealight candles. We slept with the door fully latched but not locked and the sound machine turned way down. Over the first year something amazing happened. For the first time in my life I was able to get full nights of deep sleep feeling completely safe. Oh there were nights that didn't fit that description but more and more I began to sleep. Now I too prefer the sound of a fan and darkness, with a small flashlight in reach. And since my daughter has come along I have found the peace and security to leave our door open just a little. It makes me feel a little closer and more available to her, even back when she was in a crib. 

Overnight last night was my first real test of this security. As I lay sleeping there was suddenly something grasping my ankle and I could feel the presence of someone in the dark by my bed. There was that moment of freezing, stiff as mind raced to place where I was and what was happening. And yet within that trigger there was the presence of mind to not react, just remain still. Perhaps it was the comforting gentle snore of my husband next to me or the recognition of the gentleness of the movement. I took a breath to bring me fully into the moment just as my toddler pulled herself up onto the bed and sat next to my leg silently. 

Now my daughter has entered our room during the night only maybe half a dozen times since moving into a big girl bed nearly a year ago. Mostly she prefers to stay put in her room and call out over the monitor. But in the past when she has entered she just gives the door a shove and it bangs against the wall waking the whole room giving us plenty of time to respond before she even approaches the bed. 

I sat up slowly and put my arm around her so I wouldn't bump her off the bed. In her quiet, innocent voice she said, "I can't find my water bottle." We both went back to her room and found it hidden down in the covers. I stayed there for a few minutes holding her hand while she drifted back to sleep and that is when it fully hit me. I had just done it. I had experienced what five years ago would have been my biggest trigger and I had remained present and been able to respond calmly. My reward was a calmly snoozing child and a heart bursting with gratitude.

I cannot say for sure that this will always be my reaction. But I am beyond grateful to recognize my imperfect progress and have this beautiful moment of success. 

I'm grateful for self-work and self-awareness. I'm grateful for my amazing husband and all he has done to work with me and help me feel safe. I'm grateful to know what a good night's sleep feels like now, even if it is frequently interrupted now that I have a child. I'm grateful for the idea of imperfect progress and celebrating our steps forward rather than focusing on the times we stumble back. I'm grateful for all the beautiful messages there are to find in books or amazing speeches. I'm grateful for all the people out there that share their inspiring stories in hopes it helps even one person on their own journey. But most of all I'm grateful for that moment tonight when a mother's heart and a breath of presence won out over a reaction to a trauma so far in my past.

What does your imperfect progress look like today? How can you celebrate how far you have come? 

May today remind us the beauty of even the smallest baby steps. May we find comfort and gratitude in the imperfect progress we make each day of our journey. Have a beautiful day!

Today is National Smile Day. There is nothing so simple and pure that you can give to anyone than a smile. It doesn't require knowing the person well or even at all. It is a gift that anyone can accept and everyone can enjoy.

We never know what is going on in the lives of the people we cross paths with during our day. The person that cuts us off in traffic or honks at us the second the light turns green could be in the middle of a personal crisis. The grouchy person in the checkout lane could have been up all night with their ailing parent. We don't know each person's story but we can give then grace no matter where they are coming from. 

The grace of a simple smile can make a difference. It can let them know there is no judgment coming from us on where they are and their current disposition. It may bring them a little cheer or a little comfort. If their day is going well then it may give it an added boost. But do you know what else a simple smile can do? It can boost our own day.

A smile can keep other people's negative energy from sticking to us. It can keep us in our own positive mindset and loving light. A smile is an act of love both for ourselves and those around us.

I'm grateful for National Smile Day. I'm grateful for the reminder of the power of a smile. I'm grateful to have seen it work on those around me. I'm grateful to have felt its effects myself when I receive a random smile on a rough day. I'm grateful to know that this gift is always within my power and my budget. I'm grateful to also recognize it as a gauge to my own mood and self-care. I'm grateful to strive to see the best in others whether I know their story or not.

How can you find a smile to give to someone in need today? Can you think of a time that someone's smile made a difference in your day? How many smiles can you share in one single day?

May today's challenge be accepted with love. May we share our smiles with all and may we receive some smiles in return. Have a beautiful day!