It is easy to understand how walls can be built up. Protection may feel necessary. But the tricky thing about love is that it is best felt by leaning in, not away.
Last night I had a scare. Everything ended up fine but during that time of not knowing I felt shaken deep in my heart. Yet when everything turned out fine, I found my fear replaced with anger. I was not leaning in. I was walling myself up.
I don't judge my reaction. I know where it is based and what was stirred up that I needed to process. But pulling myself back from it and observing reminded me why I was scared in the first place. The fear would not have been so deep without deep love and so the anger dissipated and the tears fell, washing the rest away.
Anger is often rooted in fear. Fear can be caused by so many things and yet two things seem to help fear the most; faith and love. Both of these require leaning in.
I'm grateful to pause and observe. I'm grateful to let the tears fall. I'm grateful to allow my body and mind its process without judgment. I'm grateful to let the anger go. I'm grateful to lean in. I'm grateful to find loving arms waiting when I lean. I'm grateful to continue to work on this beautiful process of learning to lean in.
How do you respond to fear or loss? When do you lean in?
May we always hold on to faith, in whatever form that takes for you. May we remember to lean in to love. Have a beautiful day!