When the wheels of the mind get turning, sometimes I struggle to turn it back off. Tonight I found myself juggling four "plates" while simultaneously sorting through several mind puzzles at the same time. 

Between empathy overload and logistical chaos it was hard to stay present. Ok, let me be honest, there was no staying present. My mind was racing and in sync my anxiety kicked into high gear. 

I returned home to a list of demands that all needed instant attention and I said "I've got this." Did I? No. It was a good reminder for me to remember to ask for help when I need it. This lesson has always been a struggle for me so the reminder is nothing new.

The result of not reigning it all in was failure. I failed to stay present. I failed to ask for help. I failed to connect to my preschooler the way I wanted to before bed and instead only found more frustration and anxiety as she went to bed in tears.

It would be easy right now to go down the road of guilt and self-flogging (mentally). I will admit that I am great at both these things and partake more often than I would like to admit. Just last night my husband and I were discussing the idea of failure and my high standards for myself. It was a great conversation to lead up to today because it was a great reminder to give myself grace.

Failure is, ninety-nine percent of the time, in the eyes of the beholder and not a permanent crash. Most of the time we can shift the failure and turn ir back around at some point. In this case by my own awareness and taking the self-care steps needed to start tomorrow off better.

I'm grateful for the reminder of grace. I'm grateful to hold a high level of compassion and empathy. I'm grateful to recognize when I am letting those positive traits overpower me and start to take a negative toll. I'm grateful to love my children so much that I strive to do right by them and hold myself to high standards. I'm also grateful to know they do not hold me to those same standards and love me despite my perceived failures. I'm grateful to know I can juggle what needs juggled and that it is also ok to not juggle everything. I'm grateful to prioritize and take a step back. I'm grateful to have had so much time to play with my girls today even though it came at the expense of the house not getting cleaned. I'm grateful to get to kiss my girls goodnight.

What constitutes failure in your eyes? How do you reset and try again? How do you reframe?

​May today remind us we're human. May we give ourselves grace and move forward. Have a beautiful day!

For the last several years we have used the Christmas tree I bought nearly twenty years ago for my first apartment. It looked small in the room and the fake needles were beginning to shed but it worked well enough.

This year we decided it was time to pass the tree on to someone who could not afford a tree and buy ourselves a new one. My husband and I (with baby in tow) went last night to look at some of the options while our preschooler was spending the night at her grandparents'. Yet after looking and getting an idea of what we liked and our price range we decided to get our preschooler's input.

This evening we let the baby stay with her grandma for a bit and made a special trip with our preschooler to pick a tree. We showed her a couple at one store and then went back to the store we had gone to last night. I walked over by the two we were trying to decide between and barely had the question out of my mouth when her eyes lit up. For all the trees we had seen this was the first one that made her brighten. "That one!" she exclaimed. 

It was the one my husband and I were leaning toward anyway but her reaction sealed it. My husband got the ticket number and went to the back to pick up the tree while my daughter and I continued to watch the colors change on the tree. Her eyes twinkled.

Christmas has been a challenging time for me in the past. When I was a young adult my mom had told me that one day I would have children and find the joy in Christmas again. It has been true to some extent, though I have also done a lot of work to heal and find gratitude in the season for myself. 

Standing there holding my three-year-old and watching her eyes twinkle I felt my heart swell. These simple joys are something I can identify with even as an adult. I even felt a little excitement for the season.

I'm grateful to have let our daughter have the final say on the tree. I'm grateful to witness her joy. I'm grateful to have a new tree. I'm grateful for all the options and creativity this tree offers with its lights. I'm grateful to head into a new Christmas season with anticipation and joy. I'm grateful to still give Thanksgiving its due. I'm grateful for my beautiful family. 

What brings you joy? What renews your love of the Christmas season? Who reminds you of the little twinkle of childhood?

May this season bring love and joy. May those needing extra love and comfort this season find plenty. May those who find joy in this season share it. Have a beautiful day!

Some weeks life just throws ridiculous curveballs and demands. The picture above is of a game called "I Can Do That!" In the game the player draws one card from each of three stacks and then tries to perform the challenge. Given that this weekend was full of birthday celebrations; I found this set of cards particularly appropriate for the representation of the week. 

I was so excited to get to have dinner with my girlfriends this weekend. The night of I found myself rushing like a mad woman to leave work early enough to come home to feed the baby (who is refusing to take bottles), then peel the three year old off my leg (crying that I was leaving again) to race down the road to meet my friends. During the drive I felt guilty for taking this time to myself and yet I returned a renewed person ready to face the night of two clinging babies with patience and grace.

At a three year old's birthday pool party I found myself walking the lazy river holding a sleeping three month old on my shoulder and my other arm looped around the waist of my three year old so she could pretend she was swimming it. And while there were moments that felt a little overwhelming, mostly I was feeling calm and proud as I navigated my own "river". 

I talk a lot about perspective and finding the good in things. But being overwhelmed is a legitimate feeling and I don't want anyone to think I am recommending ignoring the signs. When my cup runs so low that the demands feel too much, forget the I "should" find the positive in this and instead look for where I can give myself grace and self-care. 

I did not post at the end of last week. It wasn't that I couldn't have found things to be grateful for in the blessings around me; it was the overwhelm of the whole family being frazzled from the baby's screaming wail all week and wanting to be with them in support rather than wonder off to try to make a post. 

All last week there was a pull trying to uproot me. There were definitely tipping moments but overall I was so proud and grateful to stay grounded. I'm so happy I made the choice to be there for my family but also fill my own cup. 

I'm grateful for celebrations with friends. I'm grateful to commit to taking my daughters to enjoy their friend's party. I'm grateful for all the support and love I get from friends and family. I'm grateful for my awesome girlfriends that I couldn't live without. I'm grateful to fill my cup. I'm grateful for all the support my husband provided so I could accomplish that task. I'm grateful for my loving girls who want to be with me all the time. I'm grateful for moments of grace and truth. I'm grateful for perspective but I'm also grateful to be honest and take care of my needs.

What helps you stay grounded against the pull? What aspects of life have you trying to walk with a cake between your legs? (I really do enjoy this game though!) 

May today allow us to take the steps necessary and eat our cake too. (haha) May we find the positive in the situations we can and give ourself grace when we need to just take time to care for ourselves. Have a beautiful day!

Today was one of those days where things just didn't go quite as planned. Ends didn't meet where they were supposed to, transitions didn't flow, and things seemed to be missing or not working at every other turn.

What do you do when your day is going this way? What special resource do you "turn on" to help you get through days like this?

For me, humor is what I need. I need to laugh to release some of the tension because most likely if I don't choose laughter there will be tears instead. My emotions tend to run high and a physical relief like laughter is a great way to keep things positive. 

Now, did I do this at every misstep today? Nope. There was some frustration, a few moments of near tears and lost patience but overall I did well at reminding myself to take deep breaths and even laugh a little. 

I'm grateful for some humor to save the energy of the day. I'm grateful for getting the bumps out early in the week so the rest the week can run more smoothly. I'm grateful to have found my wallet. I'm grateful to learn you can still check out the seventeen books your child picked out at the library even when your wallet is missing. I'm grateful the dishwasher started. I'm grateful for all the things that run and work without a second thought from me. I'm grateful for my husband's patience as we work through some bottle rebellion from our little one. I'm grateful for friends and family that I can count on to be there whether I need to vent, ask advice, or share some humor. I'm grateful to be so loved and so blessed. I'm grateful to crawl into bed at the end of the night and know all is ok.

So what do you do to diffuse a rough day? What coping strategies do you use and who do you reach out to for support?

May today supply humor without the frustration. May we find healthy, fun coping habits to guide us on the bumpier days. Have a beautiful day!

I was blessed to take a little trip this weekend with my family. It was our first trip out of town with our newest edition. We didn't go far, just three hours away to visit my mother-in-law. Yet in just two days, a couple hours from home, I found renewal. 

We were celebrating my daughter's birthday as well as my mother-in law's. We went out to dinner one night but the rest of the time my husband cooked his amazing meals for us. My mother-in-law went back and forth between helping him prepare food and helping me play with the girls. In return she received baby smiles and coos and preschooler love in the form of "will you read me another book?!" 

Somehow it felt more like my birthday. I got to sit and play with my preschooler as we imagined all kinds of things. My favorite was when she decided the whole room was a moon elevator! We had a lot of fun with that scenario. 

I also got to just spend time to sit on the floor with my baby and soak up her smiles and coos and really pay attention to her personality that is emerging. I feel like in the chaos of our everyday schedules she doesn't get the one-on-one time she deserves. (I do recognize that part of this is the unfair comparison to all the time I was able to just sit and stare at my first daughter...because she was my first and didn't have to share attention.) It really filled my heart to have this time to just be with her.

I'm beyond grateful to have made it out of town. I'm grateful for my mother-in-law's graciousness as allowing us to overtake her house for the weekend. I'm grateful for how well both girls handled the transition and being in new beds at night. I'm grateful to leave feeling renewed. I'm grateful to recognize the feeling of demands pulling at me now that I am back home so that I can take an honest look at what I can whittle away. I'm grateful to have a reminder of how calm and simple life can be. I'm grateful to look for ways to simplify our schedules so we can get more of these calm, bonding times here at home. I'm grateful for all my husband did to make this weekend go so smoothly. 

How do you recharge? How often do you feel yourself needing to recharge from your everyday life? How can you add more "recharge" moments into your daily practice so you don't have to "get away" from your life as often? This is definitely the question I will be pondering as I make some changes moving forward.

May today remind us to just sit and be in the moment whenever possible. May we consciously choose lifestyles that nourish our mind, body, and soul. Have a beautiful day! 

It's that time again! That's right, the semi-annual blog about me recognizing I have lost sight of my self-care again. I would say that I don't know why this goal is the hardest for me to keep...but that would be a lie. I know exactly why. It is the result of not choosing to put myself as a priority because there is a preschooler, a new baby, a dog, a husband, a home, laundry, work, clients, and a million other things that I put first. 

In my head tonight I created a beautiful plan for getting self-care every day. It included waking up at 5:30am to get some time as well as staying up a little later to get some time. The catch with this plan is I am exhausted from staying up several times a night with the baby...and the preschooler. So in creating time to do things like yoga and meditation I am effectively reducing my sleep even more which in turn negatively impacts my health and self-care. Haha! Isn't adulthood a fun little game?! 

The need for self-care is definitely rearing its head though so it is time to make some changes. Even if I can't do an hour of self-care each day, I can squeeze in some bits of relaxation here and there to keep my sanity. I can take a nice hot bath on the days both kids nap at the same time. I can make a salad for lunch and commit to actually getting to sit to eat instead of grabbing whatever I can eat with one hand while nursing and doing six other things. And I can ask for some help, a short break, from one of the many people who have offered to watch my kids. 

Instead of continuing to walk around with my mind frazzled and my chest tight with stress, I can practice what I always tell my daughter. I can take a breath. I can use my words. I can ask for help. It's time to ask someone to pass the cucumbers, kick back and relax for a few minutes. And hey, while I'm at it, can you pass the chocolate too? 

I'm grateful for my body's strong and persistent reminder to relax. I'm grateful for all the people offering to help. I'm grateful to realize the cyclic nature of forgetting self-care. I'm grateful to see my excuses for what they are and start shifting my mind to make a change. I'm grateful for humor. I'm grateful for cucumbers...both to eat and to rest my eyes. And I'm definitely grateful for chocolate.

What self-care practices help you stay balanced? What trips up your self-care? How often do you take time for you?

May today solidify our commitment to ourselves. May we take the time we need to keep ourselves healthy, balanced, and happy. Have a beautiful day! 

Today was a more challenging day than I prefer but not every day can be a walk in the park. Some days are a hike, some days a climb steep enough to need extra "gear", and other days are a slippery slide. We need this variety to serve as a reminder and to put those "walk in the park" days in perspective.

One benefit to the tough days is that at the end of the day I can still say I won. I may not be on on my feet, in fact I may be flat on my back; but I'm still here and that's enough. I can look at my two sleeping children and relish in the small miracle it is that they are both sleeping at the same time. I can take a breath and know there are many more of those left in me. I can accept the fall one day because I know there will be plenty of days of picking myself back up and climbing higher. 

I'm grateful to find a reminder in today's challenges that make me appreciate the "regular" days. I'm grateful to have the beauty of spending time with my girls. I'm grateful to take the time each Tuesday to have dinner with my parents. I'm grateful for their help after dinner with playing with the girls and giving me an extra minute to breathe. I'm grateful to recognize that when the wails of my baby have reached epic levels and duration we have crossed over into the zone that only sleep will cure. I'm grateful for the moment that sleep arrives...especially when I get to share in it.

What reminders do you find within the high and low days? What gives you strength on the days that are more challenging?

May today remind us we are built for getting back up. May we remember our strength even when we can't feel it. And may we bounce higher than we fall. Have a beautiful day!

As the end of my maternity leave gets closer I can't help but notice the little things I will be missing when I'm at work. Top on this list is dinners with my family. I love sitting around the table with my husband and daughters chatting or listening to music.

Now that my preschool-age daughter has figured out how to work the voice commands on our smart device it is not uncommon to find us eating dinner to the Moana soundtrack. It is also not uncommon for my husband and I to randomly burst into song and gesture along with the music in between bites of food. And the sound of my daughter's joy as we all participate fills my heart. 

I will miss these moments. It is not that they will cease, I'll still have two evenings a week to enjoy these moments. It will make them all the more precious. 

Our little one growing into this activity will be fun to watch as well. It will be fun to see what her personality brings to the table. These moments will be cherished in my heart forever. 

I'm grateful to have gotten a nice long maternity leave. I'm grateful for how the timing of the birth and my return to work lined up. I'm grateful for these beautiful moments with my family. I'm grateful to hear my daughter's joy. I'm grateful to be silly and dramatic with my husband as we act out her favorite movie. I'm grateful for this time that is going too fast. I'm grateful to create memories for all of us to cherish.

What moments do you cherish most? What joyful memories will linger in your heart and those you love? Are the things you cherish the same as your loved ones?

May the opportunities for cherished moments be plentiful. May we take the time to be fully present in making these memories. Have a beautiful day!

August 8th is National Happiness Happens Day. Sometimes it doesn't seem like this is true, yet other times it is easy to see how happiness just rains down unexpectedly. The thing is happiness is all about perspective and what we are open to receive.

If we are in the midst of grieving it will be hard to open ourselves to see happiness around us. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong or bad about grieving. It is a natural state. Yesterday I read a quote that said "grieving is our receipt to show how much we loved." In fact, we need to grieve in order to free our hearts from that ache so we can find some happiness again.

Stress can be like dark sunglasses making it hard to see the bright rays of happiness around us. I know in my house we have had a rough few days as we try different things to help our newest addition from the upsets of reflux while navigating lack of sleep. But there are still simple joys that shine through if I am willing to stop and see them. The sound of my daughter's laughter is sweet to my ears and brings my heart happiness and joy. My husband's offer to help with something simple and without being asked brings happiness. The abundance of clothing I have that allows me to put on a dry shirt time and again after being puked on brings me happiness, as I really cannot stand sitting in wet clothing. Every small win, shared smile, and cuddly moment is something that can bring happiness if I am open to receive it. 

Happiness happens. The universe wants to give us positive experiences even in the midst of growth challenges. It is up to us if we will laugh or cry, open our eyes to happiness or stay in the grey cloud of one perspective. Neither option is wrong, there is a time for everything. But when we are ready, happiness is there just waiting to happen, waiting to be noticed.

I'm grateful to try my best to pause and see the beautiful times within another stressful day. I'm grateful to be able to just call my mom and have a few minutes chat over the noise of screaming children to keep my sanity by having another adult to speak. I'm grateful to laugh when I can and sing when I want to scream to try to maintain my own balance. I'm grateful to see how lack of sleep affects my relationships and my responses so I can make conscious efforts to balance it. I'm grateful to get some time with my older daughter, jsut the two of us today. I'm grateful to have gotten a little nap during the miracle blessing of getting both girls to nap at the same time today! And I'm grateful to head into tomorrow determined to keep my eyes open to happiness.

What keeps you from seeing the happiness around you? What are some of the beautiful things that happened today to inspire happiness. What would help you to see more and receive more of these happy moments tomorrow?

​May we take time to look for the good in each moment. When the world is going to crazy and stress or grief is mounting, may we have the strength to sit within in and still find some happines filtering through. Have a beautiful day!

Between late pregnancy and the birth of our beautiful baby girl there has not been many late nights in my life. Ok, maybe I should rephrase, there have not been many late nights spending time with my husband. There have been plenty of late nights up with my girls. 

It used to be that we would put our daughter to bed and then go to the basement to watch tv or have a good in depth chat. It was a good way to touch base and connect. It was a good way to unwind. And for several weeks that has been missing. In fact, the simple act of hugging has even been missed some days in the hectic day to day shift as we find our bearings in this new routine.

After being up a good portion of last night with our little one having some tummy troubles I was ready to crash at eight just like my kids. Ok, ok, honestly I was ready to crash at three but there was no chance of that happening. And yet when I came down to say goodnight after putting the girls to bed my mouth just ran away. All the stresses and fears tumbled out and all the visions for our future mixed with anything else that came to mind poured into a ninety minute conversation with my husband. I am exhausted and yet staying up that extra time and reconnecting with him also has me feeling renewed. I know my body needs sleep but my heart needed that connection more.

I'm so grateful to take the time to reconnect with my husband. I'm grateful for the conversation we had that flowed as always and morphed it's way from stress to solutions to laughter. I'm grateful for how we balance each other. I'm grateful that our stresses are different so we can be a rock for each other in times of need. I'm grateful for what we each bring to the parenting front. And I'm grateful that both girls gave us a solid ninety minutes to have an uninterrupted conversation. Now, I'm grateful to head to bed feeling much lighter, happier, and refreshed. 

What helps you renew? What connection makes the difference for you when you are stressed? How do you find time to reconnect to your loved ones?

May today remind us to take time for what is truly important. May we follow our hearts and be renewed in the connections we find. Have  a beautiful day!