In all honesty, I struggle to handle "big" feelings myself and I tend to be a heart-on-the-sleeve, easy-to-tears person. So the fact that I get to help my daughter with this over and over again is really also a chance to help myself learn more skills.
We got some more books from the library but I made sure to get ones we hadn't read before. The focus right now is coping with what we call "plot twists" as well as moving forward after the unexpected. The phrase of turning the frown upside down seems to show up a lot in these books but it doesn't do justice to the process. Luckily the books do a great job of giving some ideas on how to cheer ourselves back up to jumpstart the conversation with my daughter.
How do we turn thing around? How do we bounce back? How do we find the rainbow after the storm?
The thing is, it is different for each person. Some people need a hug after a disappointment. Someone else may need so quiet, alone time to sort it out themselves. Another person may prefer a distraction to remind them other positive things that are going on around them. Even gratitude can play a roll in moving forward or turning it around.
My rainbow is music, dancing, doing something silly or creative or if it was a particularly challenging moment, a good, strong hug. Sometimes I use humor to pick myself up or calm myself down, though I have been told I have a very sarcastic sense of humor during these times. As long as it is not hurtful, a laugh may help more than just ourselves.
I'm grateful for the tips in the books. I'm grateful for a starting place to open the conversation with my daughter. I'm grateful to see that everyone is different in what cheers them up and what works for me may not work for my daughter. I'm grateful to share with my daughter but also listen. I'm grateful to know that what works to cheer her one time may not work the next and we may have to do more problem solving. I'm grateful to know she is worth every bit of the "struggle" as we work together to help her find her own rainbows. I'm grateful to do my best each day to guide and model but I'm grateful to also forgive myself when I fall short.
What turns your day around? What is your rainbow?
May today remind us that the combination of our differences and our similarities are what makes us stronger. May we work together to build each other up. Have a beautiful day!