Have you ever heard the little rhyme about girls being made of sugar and spice and everything nice while boys are made of snails and puppy dog tails? Like most things, this "one box fits all" saying doesn't seem to sit well with me. It's not that I don't like the rhyme or that I think my girls aren't sweet and nice (though there is maybe a couple extra dashes of spice in them); it just doesn't seem to fit their personalities in the rounder view. 

Today I was reading Sugar and Snails by Sarah Tsiang to my daughter. It had a cute take on different little rhymes to fit different personalities. I was a fan of little girls being made of snails and rocks and butterfly socks as the book offers. Maybe dresses and snails and racing down trails would be a good rhyme for my oldest. Instead she chose out of each rhyme (as is her personality to a T) so she said she is made of dresses and snails and race cars. It is more fitting that she chose her own path and doesn't care that it doesn't rhyme. And that is good too, it's her. 

My little one is still emerging as her personality unfolds for us. Some days she seems so laid back but man other days she can throw a fit for the world to hear. She loves to swing and gets shy around people other than her immediate family. Maybe acorns and swings and firefly wings would work for her for now, until she can choose her own style like her big sister. I'm sure each day she will teach us more and more about just what makes her.

The best thing about it is that not only do we not have to fit in the box, or in someone's stereotype of us, we also have the option to change it up every day, every moment, whenever we want. We are fluid people, ever changing. We can change whenever we want. And for me it is fun to think up some little rhymes to go with it.

Today maybe I am cuddly and calm with some cherry lip balm. Tomorrow perhaps I will be adventurous and crazy in something lacy. I like the idea that I'm part owl, part monkey, and a little bit spunky. Or maybe since it's Fall, my favorite season, I am pumpkin spice and fall leaves and cozy blankets please.

I'm grateful to be playful and test my mind with rhyme. I'm grateful to get creative. I'm grateful for Sarah Tsiang's spin on the old rhyme. I'm grateful for the idea that boys can be "flowers and swings and bumblebee wings" and girls can be "snails and rocks and butterfly socks". I'm grateful to know we can be whatever we want to be. I'm grateful to know we can change that as we see fit whenever we want. And I'm grateful to honor everyone as they are, even if it doesn't rhyme.

So what are you "made of"? Who do you choose to be tomorrow? How will you honor yourself exactly as you are this week?

May today remind us we are beautiful expressions of our uniqueness. May we let our quirks shine and be authentically our own beings. Have a beautiful day!

Recently I have started re-learning how to sit with discomfort. As this pandemic has poked along I find myself more and more trying to escape the uncomfortable feelings of stress or anxiety by ignoring them. This doesn't work. Stuffing it down and deep has just left other discomforts and more reaction-based behaviors to minor plot-twists. 

So I am starting the uncomfortable, yet very healing work of feeling. As someone who is sensitive and highly emotional it definitely takes some processing time. Already I am noticing differences in not only how I feel but how I respond to life. 

Today I faced one of my most uncomfortable situations. Both of my girls were due for shots and I was the sole parent able to take them...at the same time. My oldest LOVES her doctor and doctor's visits but she was a little nervous about the idea of shots because it has been two years since she had to get any. The little one is avidly and vocally against even going near the doctor's office. I'm talking it took three whole minutes just to get her weight because she fought so hard against being put in (and staying in) the baby scale seat. 

Needless to say the nurse and doctor were so awesome and patient as always but it was an emotional challenge for me and the girls. Since the little one was struggling so much with the whole situation and already revved up, they suggested doing her shots first. As you might imagine, my oldest who is also very sensitive (both emotionally and to noises like a screaming sister) suddenly decided her nervousness about a shot was absolutely validated and she started freaking out about having to get one next. 

I will admit that in my own frazzled, broken-heart-because-my-babies-are-crying state of mind part of me wanted to just brush all the emotions away. Find a quick fix and get everyone back to quiet and happy. But I also recognized this was a perfect test to the work I have been doing AND a very important teaching moment for the girls.

We did hugs. I took LOTS of deep breaths. I offered that idea to my preschooler a few times who was having none of it. So we sat it out for a few minutes. Then I started doing a body scan out loud for myself. This is when you check in with each part of your body to try to identify how each area is feeling and see if any of it can be shifted. 

Out loud I said, "Wow, that was overwhelming and a little scary. Let me check. My head has a little headache. My jaw is a little tight (rubbing it with a free finger). Whew! My shoulders are pulled up and my heart is feeling sad to see my girls sad. What about you?" I walked my preschooler through thinking about each area of her body which gave her a way to move away from the upset of the shot but still stay in tune with how she was feeling. As she calmed down and our voices went back and forth I could feel the baby calming in my arms as well. 

My preschoolers tears still came and went for the next couple hours. The baby moved on pretty quickly as she tends to do once we had left the doors of the building. And I was able to stay in the conscious response level of my emotions without ignoring them OR letting them overwhelm me. It was a beautiful win. I won't say it was perfect, it is a work in progress, but I walked out feeling like I had just passed the national exams again. 

I'm grateful for this win. I'm grateful to do the work. I'm grateful to be taking time to tune in each day and see what I need emotionally. I'm grateful to be taking a more active and conscious approach to my mental health. I'm grateful for the podcasts and resources I have to support me in this journey. I'm grateful to be there for my girls physically and emotionally. I'm grateful for having a great pediatrician that really connects with my preschooler. I'm grateful to have two sweet kids that are so very very different from each other. 

What was your win today? How do you take time to process pain, discomfort, and emotions? What is your favorite technique for staying present?

May today give us the courage for growth. May we do the hard work now to move us forward. Have a beautiful day!

Happy Monday, everyone! I'm so grateful to just sit here in this moment of silence and contemplate what is going right today. I say this because for the last hour my baby girl has been screaming without me being able to translate what is wrong and help her. It is the part of motherhood that truly rattles me to my core. Now that she is asleep, the silence really is golden.

The weather is beautiful today. We were able to get outside twice, once for a nature walk to collect leaves and once for a picnic lunch. I am so grateful we are able to be outside in short sleeves for a few more days. I'm grateful for all the Autumn foliage. I'm grateful for the beautiful colors and variety of shapes in the leaves we found on the ground. Even though Sycamore trees are my favorite, I LOVE Maple leaves this time of year!

I got to hear the beautiful sound of my girls giggling and playing together this morning. It is a rare gift for my preschooler to get ready quickly and easily so that we have time to eat AND play before the baby's nap. Today provided that gift. I'm so grateful for these little blessings, these little moments that fill my heart.

I'm grateful to take control of my thoughts today through exhaustion and feeling frazzled and keep focused on the positive. I'm grateful for this moment of silence (yes, again, because this blog has already been interrupted twice and it is once again blissfully quiet). I'm grateful for the beauty of nature, nurturing me today. I'm grateful my husband took the time to point out the moon to me today as it hung right above our house mid-morning. I'm grateful for fun books to read and a very hands-on-nature theme this week for homeschool lessons. I'm grateful to watch my preschooler making huge progress in some skills already after only about a month of school. I'm grateful for my dog who is content to just lie next to me and rest as I soak up these quiet moments.

What are you grateful for today? What gifts did this Monday provide? What do you look forward to each week?

​May today remind us there is beauty in each day. May we take time to enjoy the pauses and the quiet and just soak in the blessings around us. Have a beautiful day!

Today was a beautiful reminder to make room, to allow space for things to happen. It started when my mom surprised me by picking up the kids in the morning, allowing me a full hour to get stuff done. Let me tell you, it is AMAZING the amount of stuff I can get accomplished in one hour without two kids underfoot! 

Then during family time at my parents' house in the afternoon my oldest child was in one of her "crap on mommy" moods. She was saying hurtful things and try as I may my poker face is nonexistent. I walked away to take a little time to regroup and instead I hear her telling my sister-in-law that I was sad and she didn't know why. My first instinct was to be embarrassed and try to "suck it up" and go back to the family room and play it off like nothing was wrong. But instead I just sat still and let myself continue to process the feelings. 

My sister-in-law, who is amazing, came back to check on me. She knows my preschooler has a knack for finding the right words to break my heart. We talked it over and she provided kind words and support. It was actually really nice to talk it out and not try to fake it through. It was nice to allow that space for someone to come in and be with me. 

Later I had to go to the bathroom and jokingly I told my preschooler I needed her to come read me a book. She always asks for books to be read to her while she goes to the bathroom, even though half the time she is done before we even open a book. Much to my surprise, since it hadn't been that long and we hadn't really spoken since the hurtful words she had said, she jumped up and ran and brought a book. She sat on the stool in front of me like I do for her and she told me the story as best she could from memory, pointing out the important pictures on the page. In and of itself that made me happy that she was taking time with me. 

The book she chose was "Room on the Broom" by Julia Donaldson. It is a really cute, kind book that is perfect this time of year as we approach Halloween. In the book the witch always makes room on the broom for whoever is in need of a ride. As my daughter finished reading she said, "I would make room on the broom for you, Mommy, right here." What had started as a joking comment had made room for this adorable and endearing reconnection for us. It reminded me how important it is to just make room and allow space for the beautiful things in life to come in.

I'm grateful my daughter would make room for me. I'm grateful for her kind words and to know that ultimately she is a kind soul. I'm grateful to be her mom. I'm grateful to make room for these special connections. I'm grateful for my sister-in-law who has been so amazing during the the good times and bumpy ones. I'm grateful for all my parents do to help my husband and I get things done. I'm grateful for family time and seeing the love shared. I'm grateful to make space for the beauty to come in to my life.

How do you make space? What would you make room for in your life? How much space would you give to allow beauty to come in?

May today fill the space with gratitude and beauty. May we remember to let go and allow space for it to flow into our lives. Have a beautiful day!

Do you ever have one of those moments when you hear yourself saying the same thing over and over to your child (or coworker or whoever) and you realize the message is just as much for yourself? I had one of those moments today.

My little one, the more cautious of my two kids, decided over the last few days that it is more fun to stand at the top of the slide and try to walk down. Even though she has become steady walking around these days, downhill is definitely not in her skill set yet. Despite several near wipeouts (that her sister or I caught her right before face-plant) she continued to stand at the top of the slide. In fact, she heard us saying "sit down" so many times that she would stand up there calling "sit down, sit down" to get our attention. 

There is a balance as a mom in not giving attention for negative attention-seeking behaviors and not letting your child have a serious injury. In this case that led to a lot of walking back and forth. The issue was I was in some pain and coming back and forth between trying to figure out dinner and keeping my child's head round (and at least fairly un-lumpy) was aggravating it more. By the time I was nearly through cooking I had about reached my pain threshold, which I might add is pretty high. 

Once my husband got off work he kept asking me if I wanted to sit down but I thought moving and being upright would be better. Yet as I finished up the dishes and went into the living room to spend time with my family I found the opposite was true. Sitting on the floor took nearly all the pain away. 

I couldn't help but chuckle at the irony. I had told my daughter to sit down dozens of times, listened to my older daughter say it another dozen times to her sister, and refused my husband's encouragement to sit down only to have the pain subside when I finally sat. For some reason I was stuck in the "power through" mentality. 

How many other times have I found myself stuck in that mentality? My head telling me to just keep plowing forward when my body is clearly telling me the opposite; how many times? So what is my resistance to just sitting down?

I have a few obvious ideas but it will be fun to sit with this question for the next few days and see what all emerges. It is a good reminder and one that I hopefully won't need to keep repeating. There is nothing wrong with just sitting down. 

I'm grateful for a little chuckle tonight. I'm grateful the pain passed. I'm grateful to have gotten to make and serve my family dinner. I'm grateful to have several eye opening and introspective moments this weekend. I'm grateful for my little one's growing vocabulary. I'm grateful for my older one's growing ability to verbalize how she is feeling. I'm grateful to hear I am a good mom, because sometimes in the daily grind of it all it is easy to forget the things we are doing right. I'm grateful for family meals and lots of time together this weekend.

Have you ever had a moment like this, where you realize your words were just as much for you? How did you respond?

May today remind us we are human. May we remember we are all deserving of rest and taking that time to meet our needs is a priority. May we always be willing to hear the message to ourselves in our words. Have a beautiful day!

Today's high is seventy-six degrees while tomorrow is supposed to be nearly fifteen degrees cooler. It was a no-brainer to make sure we got some time outdoors this morning.

Rather than walk the neighborhood or find a park trail I decided to give the playground a try. One benefit of homeschooling while most kids have returned to school is that on weekdays the park is like a ghost town. The mom in me a year ago would have preferred to find a park with lots of kids for my daughter to interact with and socialize. These days with the pandemic we seek playgrounds that are devoid of all other people. 

The sunshine itself kills the virus pretty quickly and being outside in the midwest wind to begin with does a pretty good job of making me feel comfortable at the playground if no one else is there. And today was the perfect combination of beautiful sunny day and open playground to run and be silly. (I will admit the other benefit of not having kids her age to play with there means I have an excuse to play on the slides and equipment too!)

It still is hard to watch how my little one struggles with these new situations. She doesn't remember playing at the park a year ago, mostly because she was about four months old and in a stroller while we followed her sister around. She is a fairly cautious baby anyway so it takes her a bit to warm up. Today she was really getting the hang of climbing up and going down the slide by herself, after her sister went first of course.

It did my heart good to see them playing together. It did my soul good to be out in the sunshine and wind, playing and being silly. It did my mind good to know this opportunity hadn't been missed and these memories will be enjoyed. 

Even as we loaded into the car and I sanitized their sweet little hands (something I never would have bothered with a year ago) I could dispel my worries. I was using every precaution. And the joys and benefits were worth the minute risk. 

I'm grateful to get outside today. I'm grateful to get to play with my girls. I'm grateful to watch as my oldest blossoms as a big sister, teaching the baby how to be brave and try new things. I'm grateful for these moments. I'm grateful for sunshine on my face and wind in my hair. I'm grateful for time to be silly. I'm grateful to let go of all the craziness going on right now and just be there having fun. (I'm also beyond grateful that we were able to walk away when the timer went off with no meltdowns!)

How are you getting fresh air these days? What risks are worth it for your sanity? How are you connecting with the moment and practicing being present?

May the sunshine feed our soul. May we find opportunities to step away from the weight of the world. And may we take every opportunity to play. Have a beautiful day!

Today was one of those days that plans seemed to get thwarted at each turn. It just wasn't going as I pictured it in my mind. Each redirection seemed to hit its own snag.

Even when I tried to get us outside for a reset we only made it four houses down the street in twenty minutes with one child repeatedly lying down on the sidewalk or refusing to walk, the other one trying to run off ahead, and the dog stopping to poop three times and pee another four. Needless to say when we arrived home I did not feel reset, only annoyed. 

Lunch went well and we had a few minutes of nice playtime. Then it was time for my preschooler and my special time while her sister started her nap. She picked painting only to meltdown multiple times about accidentally putting the wrong colors in the wrong places, but then couldn't even decide which color was in the wrong place. Oy. 

After cuddling up with some books and sending her off to her own quiet time I had to just pause and laugh. No seriously, Laughter Yoga is pretty essential on days like this for my own sanity. After that it was time to let go of what my mind pictured for the day and let my "eye" seek the successes. I have gotten a little rusty at this practice but I'm determined to bring it back and keep positive spirits.

So, what was a success? My daughter's writing practice was beautiful today and she smiled while she practiced. She was so proud of herself! Our egg experiment got the point across, if not as dramatically as I'd hoped. We had a silly time coloring in outlines of the girls on giant paper...and even more fun taping it up for display. (It was the baby's first experience with tape, pretty fun and her big sister tried to show her how to use it.)

Our walk did get us out of the house. The dog's colon is cleaner and healthier than ever it seems. My littlest is finding ways to express herself and gaining new words. 

I got to paint. I love to paint! My colors ended up where I wanted them and the beauty of painting with my daughter is that I'm getting pretty good and letting go of my own perfectionism and just plopping paint wherever I feel like it. Is that a blue leaf? Why yes, because there were already red, orange, yellow, and green leaves...that one felt like it needed some blue. Why not?

Now that I think about it, it was a pretty great day! We got everything done, at least to some degree that I wanted to do and that in itself is a huge success. We still had time to play and paint and read which are staples of joy in our house. Guess my mind didn't get the memo, but in the eye of the beholder this day was exactly how it was meant to be.

I'm grateful to let go of the ideas I created and step into the positive. I'm grateful to take the time to express these positive points to my daughters. I'm grateful to do my best to model being positive and I'm grateful to definitely nail the way I model being human. I'm grateful to admit when I'm wrong, apologize when I'm crabby, and celebrate whole heartedly when we turn it around. I'm grateful to pause the mental dialogue on the "shoulds" and reroute it to all the successes we had. 

How do you turn the day around when it is going awry? How do you move from the mind to the eye?

May today be lived from the heart. May we find the beauty in the moments and the success in the big picture. Have a beautiful day!

If we could do just one thing right in life, what would that be? Over the years my answer would have ranged from loving deeply to forgiveness to making some kind of positive impact in the world. But what if the answer is way more basic than that?

I was listening to a podcast the other night and it was talking about the importance of breathing right. In some countries this is one of the first things children learn in school. Monks learn to master the art of breathing. And to top it off the "belly breath" I had been taught turns out to not be the best way to achieve deep, effective breathing. (Apparently weak abdominal muscles can mean the lungs simply expand into the abdominal cavity instead of the intended purpose of expanding the lungs in all directions.) 

When I stop and think about it, breathing right is huge! When I feel anxiety, what is first to change? My breathing. When I am angry, what technique to I most often choose to try to get back to balance? That;s right, deep breathing. And what is one huge piece of the very core of living...BREATHING! 

Apparently a better visualization for effective breathing is picturing an upside-down umbrella opening. You can even put your hands lightly on the bottom of your ribs to see if they are expanding in all directions. (It is best if the ribs even expand in the back, is what I read.)

I've always been a pretty shallow breather and tried various ways to consciously expand my breathing. I like counting and trying to push myself to take in just a tiny bit more air. I like holding it and feeling the way it stretched at those intercostals (the small muscles between the ribs). Now I have a fun new visual as I practice breathing like an umbrella.

Perhaps more than ever, effective breathing is so important. Between wearing masks at work and subconsciously restricting my intake around others; I need to be practicing good, deep breathing and lung strengthening when I am home and outdoors. 

It also reminds me how important it is to teach my children as they grow to take deep breaths and use breathing techniques for health as well as calm.

I'm grateful for the good pull I feel in my intercostals. I'm grateful for the way deep breathing also reminds me to adjust my posture. I'm grateful to have stumbled upon the podcast about the importance of breathing. I'm grateful to learn that this is an actual study that is taught and the reminder to teach myself and my children. I'm grateful for a new visualization that resonates better with me. I'm grateful to have a new project for myself.

When was the last time you just sat and focused on your breathing? What technique works best for you to encourage that deeper breath?

May today give us the space for deep breathing. May we choose to take care of ourselves. Have a beautiful day!

Often times I tell myself "this is just a test" as a way of saying it will pass. The thing with using that phrasing is back in school when tests were a common thing I had pretty bad test anxiety. I couldn't sleep the night before, the whole bit. So why I choose this phrase when trying to comfort myself I am not sure. The irony of it occurred to me last night.

Sometimes I use the phrase "challenge" to describe something difficult or even just outside my comfort level. It has become a pretty common term in my language the last six months. So how do I change the script, the mentality, the energy?

It's an adventure! This is another phrase I use a lot, but not all "challenges" are adventures. And for me, calling it a struggle feels heavier than a challenge. So what if I just change my response?

Instead of facing the challenge or pushing through, how can I add humor? Who accepts challenges well? How about a show I haven't seen in a long time? How about the always-up-for-a-challenge, Barney Stinson. I will admit that most of his challenges were nothing like the ones that are going on in my life...as most of them had to do with picking up women. But it makes me laugh all the same. Challenge accepted!

Holding this new framework in my mind, each time something seemed hard today I pictured Barney and I told myself "challenge accepted!" It gave me a private giggle which also improved the outlook of whatever the challenge.

Two children melting down and screaming at me, one in hunger and one in protest of getting dressed, can I find my inner zen? Challenge accepted. Washing dishes while holding a baby and letting my preschooler operate the sink sprayer...challenge accepted. Add an extra new element into our school work that I had not planned or prepped for because my daughter requested it from her memory of last year... I have paper, I can do this. Challenge accepted! Hop like a bunny, scoot like and inchworm, and do an entire cd of animal dance party moves? Challenge accepted!

I'm grateful to add some humor into the days that offer challenges. I'm grateful to have had a lot of fun meeting the challenges. I'm grateful for my daughter's ability to hang with me through a longer than usual school day. I'm grateful for some dance party, animal acting, crazy time. I'm grateful to let go and be silly. I'm grateful to be reminded how freeing it is to just be goofy. I'm grateful to be finding a balance. I'm grateful to redefine or at least find a new response. I'm grateful for a good day!

How do you respond when things are a little bumpy? What is your answer to challenges? How do you frame these things in your mind? I would honestly love to hear your ideas!

May today be a day where we approach challenges with confidence. May we find it exciting instead of stressful and may we bound passed whatever tries to get in the way. Have a beautiful day!

This morning provided the most beautiful gift. My youngest daughter woke up first, as usual. We played in her room for a little while and then went downstairs. We ate breakfast but the rest of the family was still sound asleep. 

My youngest loves being outside. She quickly worked her way passed the table and looked out the windows at the trees. We watched through the window as one of the small branches began twitching and bobbing erratically, definitely not from wind. After a moment a young cardinal appeared. My daughter was so ecstatic she began chirping and "whoo whoo" and any flight-animal sounds she knows trying to pair one to this bird. 

I decided to move us outside for a better view. Rather than sit on the deck's built in benches which face you toward the house, we plopped right on the deck by the windows to gaze out and up at the yard. It took a few moments for the wildlife to settle back into their routines. Soon a squirrel ran passed on the rail of the deck. The cardinal returned as well as several small birds. 

In one particularly quiet, still moment a hummingbird came and hovered, peering at us curiously. It darted back and forth watching us before it flew away. It was such a magical moment! I think even my infant daughter could tell just how special it was because she sat perfectly still watching and as soon as it was gone turned to me with her face pure glee. It was priceless.

I'm grateful for these quiet moments. I'm grateful to cherish this time not only in nature but together. I'm grateful for our woodland visitors. I'm grateful to have this beautiful slice of nature in the city. I'm grateful for the squirrels that are always active and entertaining. I'm grateful for the bountiful bird population, especially the cardinals that hold special significance for me. I'm beyond grateful to get to see a hummingbird and be fully in the moment as we studied each other. I'm grateful for my youngest daughter and her quiet, gentle personality. 

What gifts did you receive today? What moments were offered to cherish?

​May today remind us to pause and take in each moment. May we be rewarded for being present. May we cherish the memories these moments provide. Have a beautiful day!