This year I have challenged myself to read at least ten minutes each day. It seemed like an achievable goal that would bring me some joy and so far it is working. To add to the pleasure I have chosen a book called A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen. 

I will admit this book has been on my "want to read" list for a couple years now. The Complaint Free World movement started not too far from my hometown which makes it even more special!

The choice to start with this book came from a feeling of not really feeling like a gratitude "coach" anymore. I am great at digging gratitude out of regular days or even rough days but it was feeling like a lot of my words were negative. Even here in this blog I have noticed it goes something like "this went wrong and this went wrong and this went wrong but I am still grateful". While this ability is an important practical step of any gratitude practice, it is better if we focus on what is going RIGHT to begin with; as you may imagine this makes gratitude even easier to find too.

So I am taking the beautiful challenge to make it 21 days without complaining! According to the book this takes people, on average, four to eight months to be able to go 21 consecutive days without complaining. A reminder bracelet is worn and each time a complaint is voiced, the bracelet is moved to the other hand. It trains us to recognize when we are complaining. I imagine this also does a good job of making us mindful of the triggers or situations where we complain most.

Today I have moved my bracelet no less that six times. The eye opening part for me is that a lot of my complaining is actually to my preschooler. I am certain we will both benefit from my commitment to this challenge. I'm excited to bring more positive messages back into my conversations!

I'm grateful for this book. I'm grateful for Will Bowen that started this hoping to impact his community. I'm grateful to hear that so many people worldwide have now taken the challenge. I'm grateful to be learning about my communication. I'm grateful to be gaining mindfulness about my triggers. I'm grateful to see how it plays out within different relationships. I'm grateful to be taking simple steps to be changing my life, holding my power, and voicing my beauty. 

​What goals have you set for yourself lately? Are you interested in raising the vibration of your life? Are you ready to find more beauty, more joy, and more gratitude in 2021? 

​No matter what this year brings, I believe, there is beauty to be found. May we choose to view and voice our story in a positive light. Have a beautiful day!

I will admit I am finding some humor right now in writing a blog about finding peace as I am working through some seething anger. Yet this is exactly why I have chosen to write about it. 

Yesterday I watched the news as they recounted the Capitol building being breached. I listened to the people in the crowd call for something to be done, that something had been stolen from them, for violence. It was like watching another level of my confidence in humanity being peeled back. And as I felt the feelings of sadness, anxiety, and shock wash over me I felt something else creeping in too, anger. 

Outwardly I balked that this "small" group of people had lost their minds. I tried to convince myself that they are the rare few extremists. Yet over the last few years I can no longer feel confident in that ideal. I have witnessed the blatant racism and acts of violence. I have seen the swarms of people turn out to cause damage and chaos. It is not one side or the other because the violence has come from all around. We are in a war even without giving it the name. 

Why are people so angry? I could list a hundred reasons from at least three or four viewpoints. But only one matters. The only anger that matters is my own. If we dealt with what was causing our individual anger then we would have made great leaps to ending the violence and starting a productive step toward solutions. Anger is a great call to action. But it DOES NOT need to be a call to violence. It needs to be a call to look within.

Anger is often the result of fear or a feeling of lack of respect (a lack of being heard). Perhaps even in saying that I am repeating myself because isn't the feeling of lack of respect the fear of not being respected, not being equal, not being acknowledged? 

When I felt my anger creeping in yesterday I can't say I was surprised. I am not knew to this sadness moving to anger or fear moving to anger transition. I do not like to feel afraid. I do not like to question my beliefs, especially one so core as people being mostly good. (Though I do realize the duality the word "good" creates") I do not like to hear about someone being harmed, bullied, or killed by another person. 

Yet anger is not what solves the problem. Anger is just to get our OWN attention. It is then our job to look at that anger and make an action plan. This action plan is not one of violence, not of insults, not of retaliation. It is a plan to decipher what we need to feel at peace and what channels to go about making these changes happen legitimately and to bring understanding. 

We will not get World peace by pointing the finger. We will not get World peace by judging, accusing, and belittling. Peace comes in understanding. Peace comes in compassion. Peace comes in love. 

If you do only one thing this year, let it be seeking to understand your own triggers. Take the time to look at your anger and see what the root cause is and then start open talks about it. Be willing to hear the whole conversation. Be willing to readdress any anger that keeps popping up. Be willing to be the change. We only change the world by starting with ourselves.

I'm grateful to witness my anger. I'm grateful to see how one trigger can make other much lesser triggers more exposed. I'm grateful to know the things that feel like they are seething today are really the root of something much deeper that was triggered yesterday, and the last several years. I'm grateful to take time to breathe. I'm grateful to take time over and over again today to sit with these feelings and dig into the full scope of its roots. I'm grateful to know that we all have the choice to be kind and loving. I'm grateful to believe people want change and are willing to do so with their voices if they are given the opportunity. I'm grateful to ground and reground today so I can continue to make my own choices based in love. 

What makes you angry? What fears does it bring up? How do you respond when a core belief is shaken? How do you respond when you are not in control of something? How can you dig into the root of your feelings this year? How can you offer space to hear someone else?

May today remind us change starts within. May we find ways to give ourself a green light to flush old fears that are no longer our truth. May we heal old wounds so we can continue moving forward in love. May this year bring positive change and a chance for all voices to be heard without violence. Have a beautiful day! 

I'm feeling a little weary today as I learn of two more Covid deaths in my circle. Just yesterday someone was telling me there have been four deaths recently in her circle, three from Covid. Is it just me or have we been faced with a lot of death in the last several months? I hope for your sake it is just me but from the growing numbers of deaths recently I can't imagine my situation is uncommon. 

I am a gratitude coach. Shouldn't I be talking about happy stuff? Shouldn't I be wearing rose colored glasses that make everything seem ok? You may be surprised the number of times I hear this. I cannot tell you the number of times someone has balked at me when I have a bad day. I'm human. Gratitude isn't a magic bandaid, it is a practice to to help us focus on what is good. Some days that comes easier than others.

For all the power gratitude can hold, it does not instantly heal wounds. It doesn't make death easy, though sometimes it can help the sting just a little. 

Last year felt like a year of examining what was truly important. It felt like the year offered a lot of opportunities to see alternatives to our normal lifestyle. For my family that meant seeing what a blessing it was to slow down and spend more quality time together.

Perhaps this year is about facing fears, healing wounds, or even saying goodbye. I say this because it is hard to say it. I cringe writing the words and even more so reading them. I can feel my head scrunching down on my neck at the thought that more loved ones may pass before this pandemic is over. It would be easy to let my head swirl in anxiety even as I know it is beyond my control. 

I will never be good at goodbyes. It isn't in my personality. I get attached. I love easily. Most of my clients feel more like friends than just acquaintances that come each month. I take the time to get to know people, to ask questions, to wish them joy. 

In life there are times of growth, times of change, times of rest. Perhaps this year will provide opportunities for growth and reflection. Perhaps we will be offered the chance to heal old wounds or address old fears. I do hope that these opportunities will come gently. 

I am grateful. I'm grateful to  every challenge is an opportunity for growth. I'm grateful to breathe into this. I'm grateful for my health. I'm grateful for the health of my immediate family. I'm grateful to start asking myself some hard questions. I'm grateful for all the safety protocols in place to help keep me and my loved ones from getting sick. I'm grateful to have met these two special people who have passed. I'm grateful for the hope the vaccine will help slow this pandemic. I'm grateful for the reminder to allow my feelings and to be honest, even here.

What could this year's theme be for you? What lessons may be in store? How are you doing with all the changes this pandemic has brought? How is your joy and gratitude? 

This can be a tough time of year, even without the things going on this year. If you are feeling down, please reach out to someone you trust or to someone who can help. If you are struggling with a deeper depression or harmful thoughts, please seek help immediately. You are loved. You are needed. This world needs your light. If you would like to start a gratitude practice to help you find the good, please email me. 

Now, I do not want to close this blog on a heavy note. We will get through this. We all have a role to play and the world needs each one of us to shine our light. Tonight would be a great night for holding space, saying prayers, meditating, whatever you want to call it. Take some time and send some positive vibes into the world. Ask God to give you some comfort. Whatever you need, ask for it. Perhaps we will find we get everything we ask for...until then, feel hope and have a beautiful day!

My body has had a lot to say lately. The messages have all been pretty subtle and easily tuned out, but I have tried to keep a mental note anyway. Today as I added another mental note to the growing list I realized it is probably time to start listening to all these little things before my body decides it needs to send a bigger, louder message.

Things like an itchy eye that has persisted off and on for days or my dry, cracking hands are easily written off as allergies and excessive washing. But as other things start ticking in I definitely need to stop writing off and start listening.

I have not been drinking enough water lately. My sleep had been doing better now that my littlest one is back to sleeping at night, but last night I was up with my preschooler's nightmares. One interrupted night made me realize how far behind on sleep I still am from the previous weeks (or maybe years at this point). 

My abdominals have been pleasantly sore as I try out a new exercise the last four or five days but now my back has a bit to say about it. I am tempted to mimic my clients and say "getting old sucks". Instead of accepting it as fate I would rather use these messages to make little changes.

The body is designed to work. It is designed to have checks and balances and be able to repair itself if it has the tools it needs. It is my job to listen, find out what it needs, and provide it. Even a fine tuned machine needs a little oil on the gears from time to time. 

I'm grateful to stop listing and start listening. I'm grateful to see I am not drinking as much water as usual and make conscious steps to remedy this. I'm grateful to see how that may be affecting my eyes and skin. I'm grateful to be working out again. I'm grateful for the beautiful feeling of sore muscles for a good reason. I'm grateful to be committed to decoding my body's messages. I'm grateful to do my best to balance sleep and be present for my kids when they need me. I'm grateful to receive subtle messages and make corrections before a bigger message is needed. 

What is your body saying? What can you do to fine tune your body and meet its needs? 

May today remind us our body is a temple...and the only one we have, at that. May we also find the messages our body speaks easily translated. Have a beautiful day!

I have had plenty of time lately to sit in stillness. To sit quietly and think about what path I am choosing and what I need to do differently. It's a time for me to dig deeper.

I will admit it is not often comfortable in this space. My physical body is peaceful but my mind can be brutal. It is a delicate balance of being honest and asking the hard questions of myself without letting my mind slip to the dark side. I am human. I have to remember to give myself grace. 

Last night I asked for clarity on some areas that I was having trouble consciously working through. My dreams provided a parade of people from my past in different settings and situations. The settings and situations were not real or even realistic in some cases, but they all reflected to me pieces of the answers I was seeking. 

There is more to be done, yet it can all be down from a place of rest...a place of stillness. So I navigate today slowly. I give myself the space to allow processing. I give myself some grace even as I witness repeat mistakes. 

I'm grateful for a day to slow down. I'm grateful for a day to rest. I'm grateful for the questions that circle my mind but I'm also grateful to let them process in their own time. I'm grateful for the clarity that comes in my dreams. I'm grateful for each bit of sleep I get. I'm grateful to keep the negative thoughts in check as best I can and remember grace is for me too. I'm grateful for a positive, fun day with my girls, moving at a slower pace. I'm grateful to just sit and play.

What do you do with the stillness? What path are you choosing? What answers are you seeking?

May today be a step toward clarity. May truth always bring healing and growth. And may there be grace for ourselves and others every step of the way. Have a beautiful day!

Ahhh. I return to you feeling refreshed and rebooted after a few days away in nature. I would say it was a few days unplugged but only from phone and internet. We made the leap and purchased a small camper. We ordered it a couple months ago but got to meet her this weekend. 

It is the perfect combination of staying connected to nature and cooking outdoors while still having the convenience of a small fridge and air conditioner. Haha, I might be getting a little soft in my age. It was a great trip and despite a couple hiccups and yes, a couple meltdowns I am feeling clear in mind and spirit now. 

My oldest didn't want to return home and I definitely could feel that same yearning. Luckily we have a great reason to get out even more now. The youngest took most the trip in stride despite her schedule completely going haywire.

The best part was being out at the river, exploring and splashing. We got to witness first hand how rain makes it rise and then fall again, multiple times. Most of all we got to see each of our strengths and interests merge and emerge as we explored. 

I'm so grateful for this trip. I'm grateful to get away. I'm grateful to have the perfect camper for our family. I'm grateful to have named her and gotten in our maiden voyage with love and success. I'm grateful to watch my girls play and explore. I'm grateful to have been cut off from phone and internet. I'm grateful for the insights I got on the trip, especially from my parents who came along with their rv for some special family time. I'm grateful for all their help and generosity. I'm grateful for my husband who drove an extra ten plus hours to pick up our camper. I'm so grateful to feel renewed.

What renews you? What was the best thing to happen for you in the last week? What are you grateful for today?

May today remind us to truly take deep care of ourselves. May we take the time to unplug and step away from our daily routines from time to time. May we feed our soul often. Have a beautiful day!

I rarely find enough time to get out to weed my garden. The edges I walk by look ok as I pull when I pass, but the majority of the garden gets pretty overgrown before I find a way to tackle it. Often tackling the garden means something else left undone for the week. 

Today I made some time to get out there. One section of one tier was grass that had taken over. The ivy, dandelions, clover, and several other plants had staked a solid claim as well. 

I knew I wouldn't get it done in one shot, or even one day. The majority of our front yard is all tiered flower gardens...well weed gardens anyway. I told myself I would at least make a small dent and I jumped in. 

As I pulled I answered some of my daughter's questions and listened to her ever running monologue. For a short while she found the attention of our awesome neighbors.

What I noticed though was as I pulled and cleared I didn't feel rushed. I didn't feel like there was a weight on me of all the other things I needed to get done. I didn't even feel bothered by the steady flow of words and questions from my daughter that unfortunately is sometimes the case when I have a lot to do.

Instead it felt like this was the only thing on earth I needed to be doing in that moment. It felt like a lazy summer day where I had no where to be and no agenda. It felt...amazing! It felt great to be present.

I'm so grateful for this moment. I'm grateful to find a place to slow down and still be crossing off items of the list. I'm grateful for a very productive morning. I'm grateful my youngest had a good morning nap that allowed me to work on the weeds without having to worry about her diet. I'm grateful for my daughter's questions and insight. I'm grateful to toss in a few bits of "education" and see her thoughts. I'm grateful she is into exploring bugs. I'm grateful to get a good section of the garden back to decent shape. 

Where do you feel most present? When was the last time you had your hands in the dirt? What "weeds" need pulled from your life?

May today remind us to slow down and find a place to just be present. May we weed the unnecessary stress out of our lives and find beauty in the moment we're in. Have a beautiful day!

Everything happens for a reason. I truly believe this even if I don't always like it. Some things happen from our own actions. Some things happen from our inactions. Some things are co-created through another person. But I believe most things happen as part of a divine plan.

I do not personally believe that our lives are all carved out for us by fate or anything but I do believe that the energy we put into the world and the actions we take set us on fluid paths that continue to change as we make our choices. I also believe that sometimes divine energy pops in to guide us back if we get a little stuck int he mud or wander a little too deep in the weeds. 

I believe that even this pandemic has meaning and message set in the divine. I don't believe it is as punishment but rather to guide us back to a slower life, one hopefully more in touch with nature. I think it is helping us see through some veils and help each of us find the power to explore our own reality. 

Does this belief make it easy? No. Sometimes I want to scream to the heavens "why?!" But most things come to light in due time. Relationships end so that something better can come along. Sometimes opportunities come in the aftermath of what feels like utter destruction. 

These are the things I remind myself when something is out of my control. It's not just that it is happening for a reason but that something positive will come of it, even if I never actually see it. What if that light had stayed green only to have someone run it and crash into you? Would you still complain about another red light? We never know how all the cards are falling and sometimes we never even see it in hindsight.

I like plans. I like lists and preparation. I like having a basic itinerary. I don't want it all spelled out and all the t's crossed but I want the basic layout so I know what to expect. But sometimes the best laid plans get tossed by one small hiccup. 

The hardest part for me is being in limbo. Disappointment is no fun but it is a finality that can be reconstructed in the mind to find some positive in it. The limbo, the not knowing, that is what stresses me. So today I practice finding peace in the knowledge that even if I don't know which way the coin will land, it will land that way for a reason. 

I'm grateful to recognize the familiar clench of anxiety. I'm grateful to observe it. I'm grateful to acknowledge that some of the struggle is compounded by lack of sleep. I'm grateful to focus on trust. I'm grateful to allow all the feelings to float through as I prepare myself for either relief and excitement or disappointment and sadness. I'm also grateful to know that the feelings will pass as I refocus on the positive and rebalance myself. I'm grateful to find meaning and comfort in my beliefs. 

What do you believe? What helps you when obstacles or disappointments arise?

May we trust our own beliefs. May we choose what is best for us. May we find healthy ways of moving forward when plans change. Have a beautiful day!

Well, some days winning is just in getting back up. I am not perfect. I am not a perfect mom that does everything right. In fact, I make a lot of mistakes. Hopefully at least my honesty and ability to humbly apologize will help narrow the gap. 

I love the song ,"Strong Enough to Bend" by Tanya Tucker. I try to remember that phrase as I navigate life. It isn't just in parenting or marriage. It isn't just in our words but also our actions. We have to find a flexibility. Yesterday I was able to tuck and roll with it. Today, I cracked. 

It was the perfect storm of lack of sleep, one child in meltdown and another one demanding everything she needed in that instant. It piggybacked just after a thirty minute battle of one child screaming the ultimate tantrum while the other was antagonizing to get some attention. And in between I let my mind wander to a negative place of comparison and missing something that is long gone even as I found a way to guilt and blame myself for something that is actually just natural. CRACK! 

The branch of a tree cannot hold the nests of all the birds. It holds one nest. It offers other branches for other nests but even then there is a limit. 

I am one person. I cannot hold it all. But I do not have to if I remember to ask for help and treat myself the way I treat my friends, with love and care, compassion and forgiveness. 

I'm grateful to have such great kids. I'm grateful to have gotten my dream come true in being a mom. I'm grateful to be reminded I am a good mom and nobody is perfect. I'm grateful to always be open with my girls when I make a mistake. I'm grateful to know respect and good listening is a two way street. I'm grateful for my husband who always has my back. I'm grateful to have a goal in mind but to work on letting go of how that looks in the details. I'm grateful to have music to help me calm down and bring positive thoughts back. I'm grateful to see how hard I am on myself and where I can give myself more grace.

What are some areas that you are good at "bending"? What do you do when you feel yourself starting to crack? 

May we find grace and compassion for ourselves and others. May we model the way we want the world to look, not just respond to the one we have. Have a beautiful day!

Last night's insights were great but those "aha" moments only go so far if I don't take action. So I asked myself what steps I need to take first and foremost to get myself back on track, back in a parasympathetic state. 

I got a little more sleep last night, though that will still need some catching up for a while. When I woke this morning, fifteen minutes before my husband's alarm, rather than lay there restlessly I got up. I went into the hall with my headphones and listened to a meditation. When my mind is monkeying around, it helps to have someone else's voice to follow to get me back into the rhythm. 

After that I did some minimal yoga stretches as I could hear everyone beginning to get up and around. Then I told my preschooler the exciting news; we were going on a hike. We packed out camelbaks with lunch, water, and the usual necessities like a magnifying glass. Once the baby was up from her morning nap we headed out. We just did a half mile loop trail and I took the wagon instead of the baby carrier but it went well.

We had fun exploring along the trail and enjoyed our picnic lunch. It was a great time and for the first time in a long time I wasn't checking my watch to make sure we were on schedule. I just enjoyed being out. Even with the intense heat of the day, we still had a great time!

I'm so grateful to get out in nature. I'm grateful my girls love being outside. I'm grateful to have so many trails near us. I'm grateful to suggest to my husband we make more time to hike and be out in nature as a family, and have him agree. I'm grateful for the insights of yesterday and even more grateful to put them into practice today. I'm grateful to take steps to make myself accountable so I can work to make this into a habit and routine. 

What helps you stay accountable? What helps renew your spirit and calm your mind?

May today spur us into actions that get us a step closer to our goals. May we walk the path in joy and seek gratitude along the way. Have a beautiful day!