I have been in need of fresh air lately. I always enjoy being outdoors but with Winter just around the corner I have really been making a push to spend time outside. For the most part the weather has been cooperating with me.

Last Friday I took my daughters to the zoo. It was our first time to go to the zoo not as a whole family or even with a group of friends. It turned out perfectly. It was so nice just getting to focus on my girls and the zoo was practically empty of other visitors. We ended up walking around and exploring for over four hours.

Today we skipped story time at the library and stopped at one of my favorite parks instead. When I told my daughter time was up on the playground she was happy to hear we were not going home. Instead we did a nature walk down the path, pausing and listening to the rustling leaves and watching as squirrels played. We only made it an hour because of the cooler temperatures and the need for lunch but it was satisfying all the same.

I love taking time to listen to my own needs. Often times I find my preschooler gets as much if not more from these activities than I do despite doing it for myself. It really is true that taking care of myself nourishes my whole family. And I am a "better" version of myself when I take this time.

I'm grateful for the weather having some warmer days still that allow me to play outside. I'm grateful for a wonderful day at the zoo. I'm grateful to feel calmer from the time spent outside. I'm grateful for our nature walk today and the way my daughter focused and quieted when we searched for what was in the leaves. I'm grateful for her reminder to just be quiet and listen. I'm grateful for parks that have both fun playgrounds and long nature trails. I'm grateful to see how much my daughter loved our outing and the way it reinforces taking more time like this. I'm grateful to just breathe some fresh air and find my center.

What helps you find your center? When was the last time you took a stroll in nature and really listened?

May today grant us the peace that only nature provides. May we remember to nourish our hearts and souls. May we be blessed to have loved ones who enjoy the same. Have a beautiful day!

On my way home from work tonight a series of songs had me reminiscing about loved ones that have passed away. One song in particular had me contemplating what I would do with one more day with each of these people that made an impact in my life.

My grandpa, for example, was very into natural remedies. I frequently find myself wishing I had his input on different health issues that pop up. Yet as I imagined one more day with him it wasn't advice I would spend the time asking. Rather I would want him to know how important he was to me and key memories I have of him. I would ask him more about his childhood and especially about his courting shenanigans to win over my grandma because I always loved listening to his ornery stories. And I loved the way his face lit up when talking about my grandma and how he won her over. 

For my uncle I would tell him all the things I never said. Thank you for always remembering me on my birthday, on mother's day, and when you came across a gratitude article. Thank you for always putting a gratitude note in the pot on Thanksgiving. Thank you for always being there for my aunt and cousins. I would take the time to get to know him more since he came into my life much later than my other aunts and uncles.

If I could have one more day with my soul sister I would ask her if she is free from her pain now. I would ask her about her beliefs and how her past impacted her. But mostly I think I would just want to go sit with her in a butterfly house and just be in the spirit of our connection.

I'm grateful for these people and so many others that made an impact in my life. I'm grateful to have been so blessed to have known them. I'm grateful for all the time I did get with them and I'm grateful to imagine how I would spend one more day. I'm grateful to have gotten a chance to tell them at least some of how much I appreciated and love them. I'm grateful to remember them in their best moments.

Who would you like to see for one more day? What would you spend that day doing? What would you tell them?

May today remind us to tell the ones we love how important they are while they're here. Have a beautiful day!

It is no secret that I am an introvert. I enjoy spending time with people but prefer low key social activities with close friends. I love to travel and to see family as well. But I can find my energy taxed easier than I would sometimes like and I have to pull back in order to recharge.

This weekend we were fortunate enough to travel to see family and celebrate a special birthday. I am so happy we were able to do this and see family we don't see very often. It was a great celebration. I enjoyed lots of laughter and conversation. I got a wonderful, long evening walk full of Autumn leaves and deer. And I even got to play a couple rounds of a game I love but rarely get to enjoy these days. 

My kids did great with the trip, all things considered. There were a few "ahhhh" moments but mostly it was great. It was reassuring to know we can make more trips like this and get the girls used to travel while having fun family encounters.

The weekend was full of "ups" but with that, for me, comes some subsequent "downs". There were moments the energy and noise seemed to overcome me and even a few "pity party" moments when I wished I could be like "other" people. There was so physical energy depletion as a consequence of cramming a trip into such few hours and being the comfort source of my baby all night after she herself got too overwhelmed by it all. 

Returning home I finally allowed myself to feel the full crash. Hopefully a quiet evening followed by an extended night of sleep will help process and release the excess. But even as I say this the baby stirs on the monitor and I know the night may not be mine at all.

The "ups" and "downs" are nothing new for me. It is a good reminder for self-care and a good reminder to pay close attention to my energy and needs when traveling. It is also insightful to watch my children and be able to see their own reactions and needs in such different energies.

I'm grateful we went on this trip. I'm grateful to see family. I'm grateful for a beautiful evening walk. I'm grateful to recognize comparisons and judgments and work to counterbalance them. I'm grateful to know I am doing my best and that there is nothing "wrong" with me. I'm grateful for the reminder to take care of myself. I'm grateful for my family. I'm grateful to get to give these experiences to my girls and observe their reactions. I'm grateful for the "ups" and yes, even the "downs". 

What affects your energy levels? What things send you out of balance? How do you respond to correct and rebalance?

May today help us be aware of our energy. May we do the things we love while still taking care of ourselves. Hae a beautiful day!

Today was National Train Your Brain Day. I used to teach a workshop on this but I am at a cycle in my life right now where I am re-learning what I used to "know" in a different way. Hopefully some day I will get back to some level of teaching but right now I am the one in training.

The funny thing about Train Your Brain Day is that in reality we are training our brain every day. This particular day was set aside to remind us to train consciously. Each habit we are training for not only needs the 21 days to create a base "routine" but more like 60 days to make it an automated routine that doesn't require our conscious reminder to carry it out. On top of that, if it requires un-learning a previous habit it can take even longer. But whether we are choosing a conscious habit or not, we are training our brain each day.

Currently my efforts are on remembering to slow down. Whether it is my mind and thoughts, my to do list, or even just walking across a room slowing down seems to be key in keeping my stress level down. When I let "the balls" get rolling too fast it takes me longer to unwind at the end. It also leads to stress reactions to situation instead of calm responses. And so I train and even with training I need reminders from some of my closest friends when I start to step into the old routine again. 

I'm grateful for deep breaths. I'm grateful to use scuba imagery as well as breathing techniques to calm myself. I'm grateful for reminders from friends given with love. I'm grateful to make the effort to slow down. I'm grateful to take time to just sit today and for the help of my parents in accomplishing this task. I'm grateful to recognize when I am rushing and remind myself to just slow down. I'm grateful for how it feels when I am going slower. And I'm grateful to recognize each decision and each day is an opportunity to train my brain.

How are you training your brain? Is your day to day training in line with your long term goals?

May today remind us how powerful the mind can be. Help us break the habits that are not serving us and train our brain to choose a better way. Have a beautiful day!

I was blessed to take a little trip this weekend with my family. It was our first trip out of town with our newest edition. We didn't go far, just three hours away to visit my mother-in-law. Yet in just two days, a couple hours from home, I found renewal. 

We were celebrating my daughter's birthday as well as my mother-in law's. We went out to dinner one night but the rest of the time my husband cooked his amazing meals for us. My mother-in-law went back and forth between helping him prepare food and helping me play with the girls. In return she received baby smiles and coos and preschooler love in the form of "will you read me another book?!" 

Somehow it felt more like my birthday. I got to sit and play with my preschooler as we imagined all kinds of things. My favorite was when she decided the whole room was a moon elevator! We had a lot of fun with that scenario. 

I also got to just spend time to sit on the floor with my baby and soak up her smiles and coos and really pay attention to her personality that is emerging. I feel like in the chaos of our everyday schedules she doesn't get the one-on-one time she deserves. (I do recognize that part of this is the unfair comparison to all the time I was able to just sit and stare at my first daughter...because she was my first and didn't have to share attention.) It really filled my heart to have this time to just be with her.

I'm beyond grateful to have made it out of town. I'm grateful for my mother-in-law's graciousness as allowing us to overtake her house for the weekend. I'm grateful for how well both girls handled the transition and being in new beds at night. I'm grateful to leave feeling renewed. I'm grateful to recognize the feeling of demands pulling at me now that I am back home so that I can take an honest look at what I can whittle away. I'm grateful to have a reminder of how calm and simple life can be. I'm grateful to look for ways to simplify our schedules so we can get more of these calm, bonding times here at home. I'm grateful for all my husband did to make this weekend go so smoothly. 

How do you recharge? How often do you feel yourself needing to recharge from your everyday life? How can you add more "recharge" moments into your daily practice so you don't have to "get away" from your life as often? This is definitely the question I will be pondering as I make some changes moving forward.

May today remind us to just sit and be in the moment whenever possible. May we consciously choose lifestyles that nourish our mind, body, and soul. Have a beautiful day! 

It's that time again! That's right, the semi-annual blog about me recognizing I have lost sight of my self-care again. I would say that I don't know why this goal is the hardest for me to keep...but that would be a lie. I know exactly why. It is the result of not choosing to put myself as a priority because there is a preschooler, a new baby, a dog, a husband, a home, laundry, work, clients, and a million other things that I put first. 

In my head tonight I created a beautiful plan for getting self-care every day. It included waking up at 5:30am to get some time as well as staying up a little later to get some time. The catch with this plan is I am exhausted from staying up several times a night with the baby...and the preschooler. So in creating time to do things like yoga and meditation I am effectively reducing my sleep even more which in turn negatively impacts my health and self-care. Haha! Isn't adulthood a fun little game?! 

The need for self-care is definitely rearing its head though so it is time to make some changes. Even if I can't do an hour of self-care each day, I can squeeze in some bits of relaxation here and there to keep my sanity. I can take a nice hot bath on the days both kids nap at the same time. I can make a salad for lunch and commit to actually getting to sit to eat instead of grabbing whatever I can eat with one hand while nursing and doing six other things. And I can ask for some help, a short break, from one of the many people who have offered to watch my kids. 

Instead of continuing to walk around with my mind frazzled and my chest tight with stress, I can practice what I always tell my daughter. I can take a breath. I can use my words. I can ask for help. It's time to ask someone to pass the cucumbers, kick back and relax for a few minutes. And hey, while I'm at it, can you pass the chocolate too? 

I'm grateful for my body's strong and persistent reminder to relax. I'm grateful for all the people offering to help. I'm grateful to realize the cyclic nature of forgetting self-care. I'm grateful to see my excuses for what they are and start shifting my mind to make a change. I'm grateful for humor. I'm grateful for cucumbers...both to eat and to rest my eyes. And I'm definitely grateful for chocolate.

What self-care practices help you stay balanced? What trips up your self-care? How often do you take time for you?

May today solidify our commitment to ourselves. May we take the time we need to keep ourselves healthy, balanced, and happy. Have a beautiful day! 

When my three year old forgets her manners or starts to have a meltdown instead of just asking for what she needs we offer her a redo. It is a chance to take a breath and try again. It is a way of reminding her to use her words and manners while also giving her grace to still possibly receive what she wanted. 

It works for other things too. If I swoop her up to carry her upstairs to bed she can ask for a redo to climb the stairs herself if I forgot to ask if she wanted carried. 

Tonight was my chance to ask for a redo. I lost my temper right before it was time for her dad to take her to bed. I was left feeling very sad about how I had handled the situation and also sad I had missed out on a bedtime hug. I needed to make it right, so I asked for a redo. 

Her dad got her out of bed to come to the doorway. We got our hugs and I got to apologize. I got to tell her my "thank yous" for the day on what I thought she did really well and how much I love her. She got to tell me how much she loves me and misses me while she sleeps. 

Some people may say that teaching her she can have a redo doesn't prepare her for real life. There are certainly some things we can't redo and can't undo. Having a redo this way isn't about rewinding and pretending it didn't happen; it is about the grace of admitting a mistake and making amends as best we can. It's a lesson that isn't limited to preschoolers. In fact I think it is a powerful lesson for her to see that Mommy is human, and humbled by her own need to redo sometimes.

I'm grateful to have a redo. I'm grateful for my husband's help and support. I'm grateful to be humbled when I mess up. I'm grateful to still be blessed with hugs and snuggles from two precious girls. I'm grateful to have the opportunity to teach my girls so much. I'm grateful to be able to be home with them a good portion of the week. I'm grateful to love and be loved. And I'm grateful that when I make a mistake I can find grace waiting for me.

When do you need a redo? How do you go about making amends? If you have children, how do you teach them this valuable skill?

May we all find grace for our mistakes. May we be strong enough to admit our stumbles so we can grow each day. Have a beautiful day!

September 11th holds a special kind of scar. Most of us can remember exactly where we were that day and the flood of emotions that unfolded with the news. 

I was a couple weeks into my first year of college. It was my first time really away from my parents aside from little week long vacations. I woke up and walked to my first class oblivious to what was happening. My college professor greeted us with hysterics and told us to all go home and hunker down, enjoy some bread and treats because the country was going to war and those items wouldn't be available. She told us life as we knew it was going to change and we would have to grow up fast. My roommate and I spent the rest of the day in our dorm room watching the tv and making calls to our parents. 

I did not have a direct loss, no family or friends in the towers. I did not know anyone on the planes. Yet it is the type of tragedy that marks everyone. 

Two years later on that day I watched my boyfriend get his pin for Army Airborne after enlisting in response to the towers falling. Pride mixed with fear knowing he faced deployment.

And seven years after that, September 10th,  I walked out of a courtroom dazed and lost as a judge finalized our divorce. It seemed like the date itself had some kind of curse.

Six years later I couldn't help but be a little nervous when I was told my rainbow baby's due date was September 10th. Was this going to be the breaking of the cycle or would I lose this most precious gift to the date that only seemed capable of heartache? 

My rainbow baby arrived that year, two weeks early. It was the most beautiful blessing I could have asked for. Now I hold my second sweet daughter as I reflect on all this date has meant. In my personal story the losses of this date were what ultimately gave me the beautiful gift of the children I hold today. For me it is a story with a bright side. But not everyone has this same blessing. For some this date marks the loss of their child, spouse, sibling, parent, friend. I pray that each of the people left behind has found some joy, some peace, and some way to move forward. 

I'm grateful to have a bright side in my own story. I'm grateful for my roommate that day. I'm grateful for the ability to call home. I'm grateful for the miracle of those who survived. I'm grateful to get to see as the media tracks the 9/11 babies, now the age I was when this tragic event took place. I'm grateful to see how young eighteen really was and to have a few more years of wisdom today. I'm grateful for my first husband's bravery in answering the call to duty. I'm grateful for all I learned during those years together and I'm grateful for all I have learned about myself and relationships since then. 

Where were you that day? What narrative have you created around that day in your personal story? How do we grow love and respect into our children and the world so we never have to bear witness to a tragedy like this again?

May today's reflection move us forward toward love. May the memories help us grow. May we work together to make this world a more loving place for our children. Have a beautiful day!

Today was a more challenging day than I prefer but not every day can be a walk in the park. Some days are a hike, some days a climb steep enough to need extra "gear", and other days are a slippery slide. We need this variety to serve as a reminder and to put those "walk in the park" days in perspective.

One benefit to the tough days is that at the end of the day I can still say I won. I may not be on on my feet, in fact I may be flat on my back; but I'm still here and that's enough. I can look at my two sleeping children and relish in the small miracle it is that they are both sleeping at the same time. I can take a breath and know there are many more of those left in me. I can accept the fall one day because I know there will be plenty of days of picking myself back up and climbing higher. 

I'm grateful to find a reminder in today's challenges that make me appreciate the "regular" days. I'm grateful to have the beauty of spending time with my girls. I'm grateful to take the time each Tuesday to have dinner with my parents. I'm grateful for their help after dinner with playing with the girls and giving me an extra minute to breathe. I'm grateful to recognize that when the wails of my baby have reached epic levels and duration we have crossed over into the zone that only sleep will cure. I'm grateful for the moment that sleep arrives...especially when I get to share in it.

What reminders do you find within the high and low days? What gives you strength on the days that are more challenging?

May today remind us we are built for getting back up. May we remember our strength even when we can't feel it. And may we bounce higher than we fall. Have a beautiful day!