John Wayne said, "Talk low, talk slow, and don't talk too much." In my younger years this never seemed to be hard. I didn't talk much and when I did it was so soft that often times I would just give up repeating myself. 

As an adult I took voice lessons to help me learn how to project my voice and interject confidence in my tone and body language. I feel I have integrated these practices into my life, for the most part. 

In the last few years I have been told, occasionally, I talk too much. It is a combination of anxiety and spending most my day with young kids to where I crave adult conversation. It is what it is. 

Yet when my world is rocked by a major curveball, like this week, my default is quiet. My default is to be mute then pour out what's in my heart to a loved one and then go mute again as I process. 

Yesterday I did not blog. There were no words. 

In all honesty, today's words feel forced as my energy still wants to recoil inside. Perhaps that is a benefit in the timing of all this. My children still rely on my for playing and for homeschool which provides both distraction and the pull to stay connected outside of myself and my thoughts.

I'm grateful for John Wayne's quote that has always resonated in my heart. I'm grateful for these moments that bring clarity to what is important and where my priorities lie. I'm grateful for quiet. I'm grateful to let tears fall when they need and hugs squeeze when they can. I'm grateful to believe deep down that everything happens for a reason and this will all work out for the best, even if that is something unseen right now. I'm grateful for all the support around me. I'm grateful to have gotten my toes damp last week in this concept of "rolling with it" before jumping into this bigger scenario. 

How do you choose to process? Do you process quietly or out loud? What quote resonates for you?

May today give us the quiet we need to process, the shoulder we need to rest on, and the clarity we are seeking. Have a beautiful day!

I am all about watching for signs from the Universe. I love feeling that connection and guidance. Yet sometimes I find myself wondering what's the message? 

Sometimes I can clearly see how I have created something with my intention or focus, for better or worse. Other times there is so much information to sift through I have a harder time finding the purpose. Perhaps that static IS what I am creating. Or perhaps I do know what the message is telling me but I am not really wanting to hear it. 

This weekend was full of signs. I could feel several very key moments that struck an emotion or pinged my brain in an "are you getting this" kind of way. Yet as I sit here at the end of the weekend I feel like there was conflicting messages. Am I giving conflicting intention on what I want and where I am going? 

Even as I type this I know the answer is yes, though I would love to say "of course not". The path of least resistance is nice. It is familiar. It is not really easy but it is comfortable. I love being comfortable. But maybe comfortable isn't my best path anymore. What's more, I wonder if it is a poor path for some of the people I love most. Perhaps these signs, these uncomfortable nudges are to prod me into growth. Perhaps they are signs for choosing change. 

It is time to be silent. It is time to ask, not to hear my mind answer, but to hear my heart and soul answer. It is time to ask with the intention of being open to the real message, even if that message is uncomfortable.

I'm grateful for some extra time this week to listen. I'm grateful to take some time to ask and ponder. I'm grateful to see the need to let go of my mind spinning and listen for the deeper message. I'm grateful to be honest with myself on what I am creating versus what I say I want. I'm grateful to recognize the signs, even when I may not be ready to hear the message clearly. I'm grateful to find the courage to hear.

What signs are showing up for you lately? Are they clear to interpret or is there some confusion? How can you seek clarity?

​May we always know we are loved and supported. May we be willing to take the steps necessary to grow into who we are meant to be next. Have a beautiful day!

I told my girls that we would test out our new rain boots at the park today. By the time we got to the park we only had about ten to fifteen minutes to play before we needed to go pick up our grocery order. When we got out at the park, despite getting a decent amount of rain lately, I couldn't see any puddles on the trail anywhere close. What I could see was the creek, swollen and flowing. 

It took about half a second to come to the consensus that the creek looked like our most fun option. We worked our way down the embankment and got to splashing. I didn't have to worry about the time limit because within five minutes they had filled their boots with cold creek water and their pants were soaked to their knees. (Did I mention it wasn't even fifty degrees outside?) By ten minutes they were laughing but willing to go back to the warmth of the car. 

I love jumping in puddles. I love playing in creeks. I love getting muddy. And most of all I love that my girls love these things too. 

I could have said we didn't have time to go to the park after all. I could have said it was too cold or too slippery to play in the creek. I could have made them stay at the shore and just watch the water. But I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad we had our mini adventure. 

I'm grateful for little reminders like these. I'm grateful to just say yes and go for it. I'm grateful to watch them laugh and splash. I'm grateful for the giggle we all got about them having to ride pants-less home with their blankets covering their legs. I'm grateful for grocery pickup that allows me to spend more time having these beautiful moments with my kids. I'm grateful for the rain and the flowing creeks. I'm grateful for the chilly splash.

When was the last time you jumped in a puddle? When was the last time you allowed yourself to be chilly and wet? When was the last time you just said yes, no matter how ridiculous it wounded?

​May we remember what it was like to be a kid, ready for adventure. May we let that spirit shine through in our decisions. May we say yes and make a splash. Have a beautiful day!

We have so many words in the english language and yet sometimes they are not enough to fully describe something. Some languages have amazing words that fill gaps english doesn't cover. "Koyaanisqatsi" is a Hopi word for when nature or life is out of balance and isn't sustainable over time. "Jugaad" is Hindi for finding new ways to creatively solve problems without a lot of resources. "Retrouvailles" is French for that amazing happiness you feel when you reconnect with someone after a long absence. (Special thank you to Nicola Edwards and Luisa Uribe for the book "What a Wonderful Word" that introduced me to so many amazing words!)

Then there are other times when it doesn't matter how many words you have; silence is better. Sometimes people need to just be heard without questions, without affirmations, without trying to problem solve or even apologize. Sometimes people just need to speak to someone silently, attentively listening. 

It felt like that was what was needed most today. Perhaps I am feeling quieter because of the rainy, dark-yet-calming sky. As my daughters each took a turn at a big meltdown, I just heard them. I didn't offer my usual, "I hear you" or "That can be so frustrating". I didn't ask them to identify their feelings or walk through how we could problem solve it. I just sat there, silently listening. 

My oldest, in my silence, found her own way through it. She came to a solution, and went through the cycle again as it failed. Then tried again until she got it. I smiled. She moved on. 

My little one had an epic meltdown and rolled around the floor. She came back to me and then did it all over again. Time and again until she had worn herself out. Then she lay there resting and rebuilding her energy just holding my hand and watching my face. I just watched lovingly and calmly. 

It is not easy for me. Children crying is a trigger for me. Perhaps some of it is the mere volume, as I do struggle with loud noises. The other part is the painful shattering I feel in my heart when my kids cry, even if I know they are okay (or will be as they work through it). 

I have taught myself to try not to fix it. I have taught myself to be there for them and acknowledge the feelings they are feeling. I have taught myself rote responses to use so that I do not succumb to the overwhelm of this trigger. But silence? 

I had this mental story that if I didn't say anything they would not feel supported. I worried that not saying anything would make it too uncomfortable to sit in that place of high emotion. I worried without the rote responses my trigger would become my focus instead of my child. But today I sat in that discomfort. I sat in silence and watched my children, perfectly capable, work through the big emotions themselves and seem to still know that I was there for them. 

Silence. Just listening. No words needed. No fixing or problem solving or even affirming the feeling was needed for them to see I was there for them. Just silent presence. 

I'm grateful for the gift of silence today. I'm grateful to honor my own feeling of needing to be silent. I'm grateful to see an old mental story be shattered and see a new story offered. I'm grateful to just sit in those emotions and still be in control of my own. I'm grateful to feel those waves push at my energy and feel that mine is strongly and uniquely my own. I'm grateful. I'm grateful for ways there are not words to describe and grateful for the option to change languages to find a word when needed.

When do you need words? What is something you wish you had a word to describe? When do you need silence? When do you give the gift of silence to someone else?

May today offer us silence. May we bask in it, feel it, and learn from it. Have a beautiful day!

Yesterday I wrote about an opportunity to see the signs and roll with it. It changed up what I had planned for the day but it went well. I wrote how I was grateful for that opportunity.

Well, the Universe was listening. It has offered me ample opportunities to roll with it today. I am laughing as I write this because that had not been my intention yesterday but that is what I drew in.

Our science project didn't quite go as planned but there was enough eruption of mess for the girls to deem it a success. We didn't end up having a friend over which changed up a couple of our activities but we made the best of it. We created a new game instead, called Lava Hopscotch, where you can't touch the spaces that have lava flowing over them. And despite planning to spend the whole morning outside before the rain moves in, we headed the little ones meltdowns and moved inside to play.

Today's opportunities to roll with it were pretty easy. We had a lot of fun and I had to give myself some credit for manifesting a shift so quickly. Maybe tomorrow I'll just manifest smooth sailing. 

I'm grateful for the cosmic laugh. I'm grateful to see how my own words created today's reality. I'm grateful I rolled with it in greater ease today. I'm grateful tomorrow will be smooth sailing (see, see what I did there). I'm grateful to share lots of laughs with my girls today. I'm grateful for my vast creativity that can come up with new ideas easily. 

What are you asking for today? How is your language creating your future? What words would you like to focus on and which would you like to shift?

May we remember our power in creating our reality. May we laugh at our misdirections and gently correct course. Have a beautiful day!

Have you heard the expression, "just roll with it"? Sometimes the concept of "rolling with it" seems easy. Other times I find it more challenging to let go of the way my mind had planned things to go and just go with what is actually happening. 

I went with my girls on a nature walk today. When we got to the open field at the other end of the trail my oldest daughter wanted to roll down the hill. I'm all for it! I love playing around like this with my kids and honestly we haven't rolled down a hill in far too long. In fact, I don't know that my little one has ever rolled down a hill before. She was having some trouble with the concept. We spent some time teaching her how but ultimately she decided she didn't like the feel of the grass and rolling without us helping her. 

While we were out and about I got a text about a client needing assistance. Normally today would be a work day for me but I had taken the day off. As I debated giving a part of my day to help this person in need I couldn't help but feel disappointed about the time I had planned for myself and my family. At the same time, I knew I would say yes because my next opening isn't for a couple weeks.

I looked at my little one that was just learning to let go and roll down a hill. I watched her struggle with it a bit. Then I watched my older child throw herself down the hill again and again without a care in the world. I do my best to model being kind and generous, and going with the flow. This was my opportunity to roll with it. 

It helped that there were some signs behind helping. If I was scheduled to work today there wouldn't have been an opening for this person. This is someone I haven't seen in a while that I would enjoy reconnecting. I had just been talking to my husband about something I wanted us to do as a family that would cost a little money and this was a way to partially cover it. And really I get a couple evenings off each week anyway. 

I'm grateful to have so many signs around today, from physically rolling with it to supporting my mentally rolling with it. I'm grateful to spend the morning in nature just exploring. I'm grateful to roll down the hill, even if it makes me a bit dizzier these days. I'm grateful to play with my kids. I'm grateful to be back in the flow of homeschooling. I'm grateful to hear someone in need and say yes, I will help. I'm grateful to have a skill that can help people. 

How do you roll with it? When do you struggle to roll with it? 

​May today remind us to listen to the signs. May we allow ourselves to let go when it is needed and roll. Have a beautiful day!

Celebrating Spring and Easter is usually a pretty happy time. Winter has usually let go of its bitterness by this point and the sun is providing longer days. 

I would love to paint a beautifully perfect picture of Easter, but life wasn't made to be picture perfect. It was meant to be a little chaotic and messy sometimes.

The morning started off rough with not enough sleep and a cranky little one. My older child was having a bout of "I wanted what she got" when the Easter baskets were seen. (And, for me, the lack of gratitude is a big trigger even though I know it is age appropriate.) It made for a morning high in emotions as we found ourselves feeding off each other's sour mood.

This time last year we were celebrating my youngest's first Easter in quarantine. It was one of my first Easters ever without my parents around. If for no other reason than that, this year had a bright side! We took advantage of that by going over early for a little extra family time. (I also took a good walk to clear my head without kids because time without kids has been rare over the last year. While I love them to pieces, I am recognizing a little bit of burn out lately.)

Being with family out in the sunshine made all the difference. Watching my kids find eggs, swing, and play was a beautiful gift. Being able to have conversations with other adults was a beautiful gift. Getting to eat amazing food and share some laughs was wonderful! 

Overall the day was great. A rough start doesn't define the day any more than fun times undoes the bumps. My point is the day was the real kind of perfect, the messy and shifting kind. It was honest and it was good, even when it wasn't.

I'm grateful for today. I'm grateful for the range of emotions I went through today. I'm grateful for my husband being a rock. I'm grateful for my girls expressing how they were feeling, fully. I'm grateful to do my best to honor and listen to their feelings and let them roll. I'm grateful to get some pictures even if it wasn't the "perfect pose" for the holiday. I'm grateful to spend the holiday with extended family. I'm grateful to be feeling hopeful and the pandemic is beginning to shift. 

How was your day? What does your messy, perfection look like lately?

May today remind us that perfect in real life is not what many of us were taught. May we leave room for the messy, emotional, personal moments. Have a beautiful day! 

Last night I stepped outside before going up to bed. I haven't been spending as much time outside lately. I would love to say that I did this on my own accord, but actually my husband asked me to step out and check the chiminea and make sure the embers were completely out from earlier. 

When I stepped out the door I felt the nip of the air first. My eyes, however, were instantly transfixed to the beauty of the clear night sky. Our backyard is heavily treed but the night was so clear that the stars looked like white Christmas lights dotting them. My favorite constellation, Orion, lit my favorite sycamore tree. It was magical!

As kids we believe in magic. Everything seems new and magical. Slowly things become ordinary without our even noticing. Yet I truly believe that if we take the time to open our eyes to some of these beautiful things around us, they can feel magical once again.

I floated upstairs to bed on wonderlust after my stargazing. It filled a section of my soul that I hadn't realized had been running low. Perhaps just a few minutes each night on my way to bed needs to become my new routine.

I'm grateful to see Orion hugging the branches of my favorite tree. I'm grateful to feel a cosmic hug just in observing this beauty. I'm grateful to ponder if this is where the idea of lighted trees originated. I'm grateful to see this beautiful sight. I'm grateful for my husband's request that renewed this portion of my soul and reignited my wonderlust. I'm grateful for the magical beauty in this world. I'm grateful for nature in all its glory.

When was the last time you gazed up at the stars? Do you have a favorite constellation? 

May we take the time to reignite the childlike wonder that lives within. May we seek out the things that renew our soul and bring us joy. Have a beautiful day!

I love art. I love crafts. I love introducing my kids to all kinds of artsy activities. So naturally, as Easter is approaching, I thought "hey, let's color some eggs!" It wasn't until I had the dye out in containers on the table within arms reach of my two, young, grabby hand children that I thought, "this was probably a mistake". 

We survived. Luckily the little one was okay with my helping her place her eggs, gently, in the containers. And my oldest one is still on a monochromatic kick so she wanted all her eggs to be a single color, no mixing or fancy dips. They both had the attention span for about three eggs which left me plenty to play around with myself. 

It turned out to be a fun little project! It reminded me to have a little faith and not sacrifice fun moments like this because of the potential for disaster. Messes can be cleaned and the ones that can't tell a story. 

I'm grateful to dye eggs with my little one for the first time. I'm grateful for her "ooh" as she saw the first eggs coming out colored. I'm grateful for dying eggs again with my oldest and to see how her interest shifts each time. I'm grateful for all the different ways there are to dye eggs but I'm grateful to stick to the simple way I grew up with for this year. I'm grateful to get to have some fun with the eggs myself after my kids wandered away. I'm grateful that most of the dye has already worn off my fingers. I'm grateful to create these memories with my kids.

What messy memories do you enjoy most? When was the last time you made a mud pie or got glue all over you trying to make something? I highly recommend it.

May today remind us that not all messes should be avoided. May we give ourselves the freedom to get dirty and make memories. Have a beautiful day!

Jokes are not universal. Even a funny joke, if delivered at the wrong time, can be met with irritation. Delivery is an important factors but the most important is timing and knowing your audience.

A twenty month old toddler is not good at reading her audience. Her jokes did not go over well with her big sister today. The mood was not welcome to her games. (I, however, did find some humor in her attempts.)

A four (and a HALF) year old is starting to figure out timing and her audience. The jokes aren't great but the effort is commendable. "What did the fan say to the light? ...Microwave!" "Why did she hold her purse open outside?...For the weather to change." (Almost had it.) I do get a good chuckle out of her attempts. 

We like to joke a lot in our family. We enjoy silly "dad jokes". It's a fun way to connect at dinner time. My husband is great at it... probably because he is a dad. 

It is always a red flag if one of us is not in the joking mood. It is a reminder to reconnect and check in on a more serious level. For me, it is a red flag that I may be letting stress get a little too much power.

Then there are times like the picture above, that no joke is intended but how can you not laugh! How can I not burst out laughing when I check the monitor and  see a masked bunny and penguin looking back at me! Shenanigans.

This is, perhaps, one of my favorite parts of being a mom. The girls will just be doing their own thing, chatting, and saying the most hilarious stuff! "You can only be a bird right now if you promise not to eat me." "Are you poopy?! (gagging) You cannot come to space with me smelling like that. You need to find mom and have her fix that before we blast off." 

I'm grateful to use humor as a mood gage. I'm grateful to recognize when my humor level is low. I'm grateful for all the laughs my family shares each day. I'm grateful for all the times I have nearly sprayed my water overhearing my kids' conversations. I'm grateful for laughter and it's healing effects. I'm grateful to make it a point to get more laughter in my day. 

How is your humor gage? What makes you laugh? Who helps bring humor into your day?

May we let ourselves laugh more than not. May we recognize the need for humor and allow life to be playful. Have a beautiful day!