Today was National Train Your Brain Day. I used to teach a workshop on this but I am at a cycle in my life right now where I am re-learning what I used to "know" in a different way. Hopefully some day I will get back to some level of teaching but right now I am the one in training.

The funny thing about Train Your Brain Day is that in reality we are training our brain every day. This particular day was set aside to remind us to train consciously. Each habit we are training for not only needs the 21 days to create a base "routine" but more like 60 days to make it an automated routine that doesn't require our conscious reminder to carry it out. On top of that, if it requires un-learning a previous habit it can take even longer. But whether we are choosing a conscious habit or not, we are training our brain each day.

Currently my efforts are on remembering to slow down. Whether it is my mind and thoughts, my to do list, or even just walking across a room slowing down seems to be key in keeping my stress level down. When I let "the balls" get rolling too fast it takes me longer to unwind at the end. It also leads to stress reactions to situation instead of calm responses. And so I train and even with training I need reminders from some of my closest friends when I start to step into the old routine again. 

I'm grateful for deep breaths. I'm grateful to use scuba imagery as well as breathing techniques to calm myself. I'm grateful for reminders from friends given with love. I'm grateful to make the effort to slow down. I'm grateful to take time to just sit today and for the help of my parents in accomplishing this task. I'm grateful to recognize when I am rushing and remind myself to just slow down. I'm grateful for how it feels when I am going slower. And I'm grateful to recognize each decision and each day is an opportunity to train my brain.

How are you training your brain? Is your day to day training in line with your long term goals?

May today remind us how powerful the mind can be. Help us break the habits that are not serving us and train our brain to choose a better way. Have a beautiful day!

Today is 10/10, so it's bound to be a good day, right? One of the best gifts, to me, is being heard.

Throughout my childhood I struggled to really project my voice and be heard. As an adult I have done slightly better with this only to have reached the phase of my life called Parenthood. I am currently in the phase of Parenthood blessed with a special kind of ignoring that only a preschooler can manage to pull off and still seem sweet and innocent. I won't lie, it drives me crazy.

​My husband and I have made more of an effort to find times to communicate despite two small kids and working opposite schedules. But there are still days where I am climbing into bed and the only adult conversations I've had were a quick rundown of the girls' day for their dad and my nearly daily chat with my mom. So it is not surprising that when offered an adult conversation I jump at the chance.

Two conversations have really stuck out this week. Neither were typical people I get to have long conversations with very often. It was an extra treat to then get reassurance and agreement from them in a decision I have gone back and forth on in my head for a while. It isn't that their opinion weighs more but rather that they heard my point of view. 

I'm grateful for this interaction. I'm grateful to feel heard. I'm grateful for my husband and my best efforts to make time to have conversations beyond who needs fed and when one or the other of us will be home from work. I'm grateful to slow down a little. I'm grateful to do my best to offer my ears and attention to others needing to be heard. I'm grateful for time to hang out with my best friend. And I'm grateful for a good, productive conference today. I'm grateful to see the numbers and read them as a positive sign. And I'm glad the universe is acting accordingly.

What helps you feel heard? What conversations fill your cup? Who have you been meaning to call and catch up with and how can you carve out some time?

May today remind us that being heard is an easy gift to give. May we listen as much as we speak. And may we feel heard on the topics that mean the most to us. Have a beautiful day!

Today I would like to share some random things that make me smile. I have often been told I am easily amused. In my eyes, this is a great compliment. I enjoy being amused so the easier the better. 

Monday, while driving my daughter to swim lessons, traffic came to a complete stop. As it turns out some geese had decided to have a parade. And they were in no hurry to move along just for some silly drivers' schedules. I was happily tickled by their little shenanigan. 

The other night my husband and I were having a conversation over dinner. Our three year old, as three year olds do, was interrupting and proclaiming she had a question. We reminded her to use her manners and ask for her turn to talk rather than just interrupting. Then when we asked what her question was she was so excited for it to be her turn she just quickly looked around her to find something to talk about. The result was her looking around frantically just to shout "squirrel!" I laughed so hard I cried and now every night at dinner she says "Hey Mommy, squirrel!" trying to get me to laugh that hard again. 

Today as I drove home from work I pulled up behind three cars at a stoplight. The stoplight turned green and we sat. We stayed there for a good twenty to thirty seconds before the first car realized the light had changed and started going. What made me so happy about this? Not one of us in line behind this car honked, went around or in any way rushed. We all just sat and waited politely. It was beautiful! 

I'm grateful to be easily amused. I'm grateful when I can slow down and see these beautiful moments for what they are. I'm grateful for people who pause for animals. I'm grateful for people who are patient with each others' human-ness. I'm grateful for laughter and for my daughter who frequently provides this gift for me. I'm grateful for a new day and a new smile along the road. I'm grateful for those who smile and laugh with me.

Each day there are opportunities to smile, to laugh, and to enjoy simple things. It is up to us if we choose to recognize these little gifts. When was the last time you were easily amused? What made you smile today?

May today keep us in the moment and allow us to see its beauty. May we smile and laugh easily. Have a beautiful day!

Three months ago today I was in complete denial that my water had just broken. In some ways I can't believe it has already been three months. Where did the time go? She is growing so fast! 

In other ways I can't believe only three months time could change so much. I can't imagine life without our sweet baby girl. It seems like longer since we had a screaming-in-pain six week old when I look at my mellow, smiling thirteen week old. We've already been through a few bumps but they were all so worth it.

I read an article today asking if you could go back, knowing what you know now, would you choose to have children again. Rather than everyone saying "absolutely" or "it was rough but totally worth it" there was a lot of raw honesty. One mom whose son had mental health issues says she would not if only to save him the struggle he will face his whole life. One scientist wrote no because of the climate issues that our children will have to face. And several others said they loved their kids but no, if they had the choice again they would not. 

I read that article and let these comments sink in. These parents answered honestly. It's not that the "it was worth it" answers are not honest; they are definitely some people's truth. But it was healing to me in some way to hear that not everyone feels that way. It doesn't mean they love their kids any less. It just means they would have made a different choice. 

Becoming a mother with my first was a much rougher transition than I had been prepared for. It was hard for me to accept the areas I fell short of my own high expectations. I worried that I may fall down the same hole with my second but it turns out once those standards were proven impractical the journey for number two has been much smoother. 

Reading the responses in the article gave me permission to ask myself what my honest answer would be. I think I would have been happy after my first divorce moving forward with the plans I made based on remaining on my own. But no matter how happy I would have been it always would have been my "plan B". I always wanted to be a mom and even with the rough transition, no matter how many times I get thrown up on, no matter how many poop accidents I have to clean, and no matter how many tantrums I have to navigate; this would always be my choice. I wouldn't change my mind because of the challenges because nothing compares to the love, the hugs, the "love you mommy", and most of all the watching a child grow into themselves and waiting to see what beauty they will add to the world.

Yes, there are many problems with the world as it is today. The climate is only one of those troubles my girls will face. But I truly believe nothing is set in stone. We can use our children for motivation if we need to to prompt us to make those changes. And we can build our children up to use their minds and confidently pursue ways to make this world better. 

I'm grateful for the raw honesty of the article. I'm grateful for the perspective of those parents that gave a different response. I'm grateful to allow myself to take an honest look at this question myself. I'm grateful to know I could have been happy either way. I'm grateful to know that I have no regrets. I'm grateful to know that each challenge makes me stronger and that it is worth it for the love I get to give and receive. I'm grateful for three amazing months with my little and three wild and wonderful years with my oldest. I'm grateful for many more to come. I'm grateful for my beautiful girls. And I'm grateful to still use the word beautiful even as the world is trying to tell us not to comment on girls' beauty, because there are a million types of beautiful both inside and out and my girls will know they are beautiful in their own way. I'm grateful to be a mom and I'm grateful to be on this journey with my amazing husband who is my rock and soulmate.

Would you choose your current path again? What aspects do you appreciate and which would you change? How can you move toward the life you most want?

May we all find he blessings in the path we chose. May we move forward with no regrets but a healthy dose of honesty. Have a beautiful day!

I prefer feeling like I have some level of control. Unfortunately having a preschooler and a baby frequently proves otherwise. I cannot make a preschooler poop on the toilet any more than I can make a baby eat before we have to head out for errands. They are their own people with their own agendas and ideas.

When control is lacking I find myself stressed and even cranky. I'm not sure why I choose this reaction because it doesn't help the situation. So rather than continue this pattern I have been looking for other reactions to choose. 

Lack of control often reflects my lack of self-care as well. While I "commit" to self-care regularly it rarely makes itself a habit before getting lost in the list of to do's again. Yet one thing that helps both to fill my self-care cup and navigate the loss of control is creativity. Luckily I consider myself a very creative person.

My daughter and I enjoy playing a game called Story Cubes. You roll the dice and line up the pictures to tell your own story. It is up to the person telling the story if it is a happy story or not. The symbolism of this in relation to a day with children is astounding.

When we wake up in the morning it is a dice roll how the day will go with a preschooler. Will she want to get dressed? What will we eat? Are those "listening ears" going to be functioning at all? Will we be in dawdle mode for every step? Yet with a little creativity I can tell the story in a positive way. I can use games and "tricks" to move us along our course. Some days this is easier said than done, but it sure beats feeling stressed and cranky.

I'm grateful to give myself grace, knowing I did my best in the moment. I'm grateful to know that stress and feeling cranky is my own choice. I'm grateful to recognize I have the power to shift this reaction. I'm grateful to find a way to play and fill my cup. I'm grateful for Story Cubes. I'm grateful to just allow myself to laugh.

How do you rewrite your story from frustration to fun? What creative ways have you found to release control over what cannot be controlled?

May today provide us the strength to choose creativity. May our creativity flow and grow with each use. Have a beautiful day!

As we enter into a new work week I can't help but have marriage on my mind. My husband and I were lucky to have carved out a small portion of one on one time this weekend despite multiple anti-nap shenanigans by our girls. Also this week marks my parents' anniversary, forty-one years. 

It was said so well in Princess Bride. "Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam, and wove, twue wove." It is said so well not because of the humor, though I do love that movie, but because of how it is said. Marriage is a blessed arrangement. It is hopefully a dream within a dream and true love. But ike the pronunciation, or perhaps just enunciation, it is not perfect.

Marriage, true marriage wasn't meant to be picture perfect. It wasn't meant to be the reflection of the crystal goblets and eating off the fine china in candle light with never a negative word said. It was meant to be spaghetti left on the chair and sat in, bonfires that sometimes get larger than planned, and renovations both of the home and of the relationship.

We weren't made to be rigidly one way for our whole life. Life shapes us and we shift and adapt in return. Marriage is like life. Things come our way and we each adapt in our own way. The beauty is being able to adapt our own way and still respect, love, and if we're lucky even understand our mate. Marriage is the ability to go through all that and still take each others' hand and say "what's next?" 

I'm grateful to witness the beauty of my parents' marriage. I'm grateful for all they have taught me as they navigated their marriage. I'm grateful to hold hope for my husband and I celebrating forty-one years of marriage even though we started much later. I'm grateful for Princess Bride and for this quote that is beautifully perfect in its imperfect delivery. I'm grateful to be walking my path with my soulmate and to make the commitment to each other even amongst the distractions of life. I'm grateful for our beautiful daughters and even their shenanigans. 

What does marriage look like to you? What is the most important aspect of your own view of marriage?

May we cherish the moments we have with the ones we love. May we come through each bump stronger and more in love. And may we renew our commitment each day. Have a beautiful day!

Autumn is here! October is here! Technically neither of these started today, but it finally FEELS like Fall! 

Yesterday the temperature was 86 degrees as a high. Then the storm front rolled through and today didn't even make it to 60 degrees! Now, I will admit that my favorite temperatures hover between mid fifties as a low and low seventies as a high, but I'll take this drastic shift as a first sign of Autumn.

Autumn is my favorite season, full of pumpkins and owls and all the best holidays. My excitement over Halloween has not waned since adulthood. I absolutely love costumes and I'm extra excited when we can do couples or family themed costumes. My birthday falls during this season, always a bonus. And it ends with one of the best holidays, Thanksgiving! 

On top of all the celebration and merriment; Autumn offers the beauty of color changing leaves and the scent of campfires. I am eager to have some back deck nights with the chiminea warming us as my husband and I sit and chat. Hopefully some friends or neighbors will even join sometimes. It truly is the best time of the year in my book!

I'm so grateful to break out the halloween t-shirts. I'm grateful for Halloween and Autumn decor. I'm grateful for the cooler temperatures so I can bring out my favorite hoodies. I'm grateful for pumpkin spice...well everything. I'm grateful for yummy seasonal baked goods like pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. I'm grateful for the excitement of planning Halloween outfits. I'm grateful to have a family theme this year. I'm grateful for the opportunity to celebrate another year of life.

What do you love about Autumn? What is your favorite season and why? 

May we celebrate each season and cycle of life. May we find beauty in nature. Have a beautiful day!

Music plays an important role in my mood. I seem to absorb the music playing around me. This means I have to be cognizant of what music is playing. Sad music will bring sad emotions to the surface. Bouncy music makes me feel buoyant and inspiring music, you guessed it, inspires me. 

I haven't been listening to a lot of music other than the kid tunes I play for my daughter. And I have gotten out of the habit of listening to music around the house for the most part except for the occasional evening home with my family. 

This morning I felt it calling to me. I turned on Mr. Stinky Feet to bop along to with my girls in the morning but then slipped back into silence as morning turned to afternoon. At one point before I put my daughters down for nap I heard my oldest singing "This Little Light of Mine." It warmed my heart and put a smile on my face.

Soft music is always playing as I work, part of the job, but I rarely pay attention to the instrumental lullabies. On the way home I was conflicted because I had a headache from the storm moving in. I decided to dig deep on my ipod to an album I haven't listened to in a while, one to feed my soul.

I turned on Nahko Bear's "Medicine for the People". Let me preface by saying I do not like every song on this album, a few are quite offensive and many have at least a couple swear words which I wish were edited out. This is actually why I haven't listened to it in a long time. Even the songs I love off the album can not be safely listened to in earshot of my daughter. Anyway, I turned it on and belted out the parts I could remember. One lyric is talking about feeling like you're spiritually dying and praying for guidance. He says he took a dose of the music. It struck me that this was what I was needing, a dose of soul-healing music.

God speaks to each of us in our own way. We each have our own ideas on what that means and how it all works. Today I felt spoken to through the music. This little light of mine, I WILL let it shine. I was born to be here right now, a part of this space in time, a part of this family for a reason. I have something to contribute and I have plenty to learn. My ears are open as well as my heart. I'm listening to the music but also beyond the music to whatever message I'm supposed to be hearing right now.

I'm grateful for music. I'm grateful another person at another place in their own life can write the words that speak directly to me in my moment. I'm grateful to sing, even off key. I'm grateful to express myself and feel heard. I'm grateful for the messages I receive. I'm grateful for all the blessings in my life, my girls, my family. I'm grateful to allow music to be a part of our lives and commit to adding more of it back into our daily routine.

What is your favorite song? How does it make you feel? Do you choose to listen to the music that raises you up?

May we make conscious choices about the energy we surround ourselves. May we remember to let loose and sing, even dance and let our spirit (and light) shine for the world to see. Have a beautiful day!

We all have a "breaking" point. We have a point of getting heated up to the level of boiling where we may shout. 

I will admit I have a temper. I struggle sometimes with emotional regulation which is what drew me to meditation in the first place. It provides a haven for me to rebalance. 

Two kids and a hectic schedule do not allow for as much meditation as I would like. Yet finding the time to meditate makes me a better "me", a better mom, and a better human. It allows me that reset of patience and calm.

I love my preschooler to pieces. She is an amazing kid, so smart and funny, precocious and loving. She also has an amazing knack for finding just the right buttons to push. 

I am by no means a perfect mom. But I do my best to respond to my daughter rather than react and I do my best to keep a level, patient voice as best as possible. Unfortunately this usually results in venting to my husband at the end of the day and feeling like I am ending the day on a negative note. 

Awareness is half the battle. Know better, do better. And most of all I think it is important to give myself grace for all the little "wins". Today was full of many little wins as I got practice in responding and that is something to give myself credit for tonight.

I'm grateful to stop the negative spiral and give myself credit for what I did right. I'm grateful to know tomorrow is a new day. I'm grateful to see where I need to take more time for me and for my kids. I'm grateful to notice balance and imbalance in myself. I'm grateful for deep breaths and meditation chants to get me through when I cannot actually stop to meditate. I'm grateful for my husband's patience in my end of day release. I'm grateful to recognize this teapot habit and know I can shift it to something more positive.

What pushes your buttons? How do you recenter? How often do you find yourself becoming the heated teapot?

May today grant us cooling time. May we give ourselves grace for the struggles and celebrate the wins. Have a beautiful day!

Mentors are such an important role. A good mentor will not tell you what to believe, who you are, or even who you should be. A mentor can guide you to find all these answers on your own by listening and then asking the right questions.

Today was my uncle's funeral and I found myself in a struggle with my beliefs. One thing about having my own, unique beliefs is that when there is a conundrum it's answer is completely dependent on me. If I am at an impasse I need to know the right question to ask to help me move through the obstacle. Luckily I am blessed to have just such a mentor!

The thing about beliefs is that everyone has them in one form or another. So when someone questions their own it is easy to project ours for them to see. They still have the option to listen or not. But what if we went a whole different way? What if we helped guide them through their own beliefs instead of planting our own?

As I let my tears fall tonight talking to my dear friend and mentor she offered me this gift. It isn't what we believe or don't believe that poses the problem. The issue comes from why we are choosing to resist one belief or cling to another. The question isn't which belief is right. The question is what is it about the gap that triggers us.

I'm so grateful for powerful questions. I'm grateful for questions that pull me back and make me think. I'm grateful for this beautiful woman and all her wisdom. I'm grateful to be able to call her a friend as well as a mentor. I'm grateful for the beautiful memories my uncle has left with us still here. I'm grateful to see others remembering him for the safe generosity and kindness that I will remember him by. I'm grateful for the reminder to be the person today I want to be remembered by tomorrow.

Who in your life asks the right questions instead of giving you their own answer? 

May we find our own path and our own beliefs while respecting each others'. May we find peace within what we choose to believe. May we all have at least one person in our lives willing to hold their own answers and just ask the right questions. Have a beautiful day!