The stress of trying to remain chipper and beating myself up when I am not is having the opposite effect than my themed intention. The pull of "should" is counterproductive. On Saturday I was blessed with a day of snow and ice, effectively canceling anything I needed to do outside the home. It took it out of my hands and allowed me to take some much needed time home with my family.
It also made me realize that part of Creating Positivity is observing, acknowledging, and feeling all my feelings. Today I took time to feel each feeling as it came up. I took a breath and asked myself "what is coming up?" Why am I allowing myself to take it personally as my daughter practices using her voice to express her heavier feelings? In getting caught up in my own emotion, I am less able to help her work through her own. But the funny part is that I get caught in my own when I am denying my own. When I simply allow that it doesn't feel good and breathe into it, it also helps me breathe into the depth of her feelings and embrace both.
My intention is not "to be happier". I have a beautiful life and I am very grateful. That does not mean I only experience positive emotions. Having feelings of sadness does not mean I am less grateful or love my life less. It simply means the experience is authentic to me. My emotions help me navigate my internal dialog and help me grow. So today I let go of the idea that Creating Positivity means always having a smile on my face. And in that reevaluation and release I find a new level of positivity in self-acceptance.
I'm grateful to remind myself I am human. I'm grateful to give myself permission to feel all my feelings. I'm grateful for the compass my feelings provide. I'm grateful to love my life. I'm grateful to observe and reevaluate. I'm grateful to take time to breathe into my feelings today and to find ways to try and help my daughter with hers. I'm grateful for this crazy, sometimes challenging, adventure called parenthood. I'm grateful to have a beautiful family with a mix of personalities that keep life interesting and help me grow. I'm grateful for a year ahead and practicing creating positivity authentically.
What are your intentions for the year, month, day, week, or even just today? What emotions have you been feeling and how do they help you navigate?
May today allow our feelings to communicate to us. May we embrace all that comes up and find beauty in the process. Have a beautiful day!