Sometimes I forget just how easy it is to travel without a care. Luckily I have a four year old to help remind me. In a few hours time we managed to visit a bear cave, have a snowball fight indoors, and go camping with about twelve animals ranging from hedgehog to unicorn. 

I have wrote in the past about the studies that show planning a trip can elevate your mood. In the studies it was found that while planning a trip increases happiness, sometimes actually taking the trip decreased that same happiness due to stress and logistics. It is sometimes more fun to plan the perfect vacation that actually take it.

This study suits me well as I do absolutely love planning trips. I enjoy researching what the best off-the-beaten-path activities are and imagining how fun it would be. Yet it is also true that I do tend to stress and overpack in the days or hours before the actual trip. It is always still well worth the getaway but skipping the stressing part is definitely a fine goal for me. 

My four year old has the solution. Even if we are camping on the moon and we forget something, we just grab it. It is like we never forgot it at all. Plus when I camp with her the s'mores are always perfect looking and I never end up sticky. It is no problem to climb a mountain and cuddle in with some hibernating bears. And if something better comes along, you just change the scenery of your mind. 

I'm grateful for a day of play. I'm grateful for our fun snowball fight that didn't even require a jacket. I'm grateful to get to go camping and even get to hold the special lantern. I'm grateful for the delicious s'mores that left no mess. I'm grateful to watch my daughter's mind at work as she spins the story for me and navigates me to which role I am supposed to play. I'm grateful to get to be the "kid" and let her handle all the cooking and camp set up. I'm especially grateful for sweet laughs and hugs shared. 

Where would you go if you were planning a trip in real life? Where would you go if just in your imagination? What wild activities would you dare to do in your fantasies? Which of those things would you be willing to push your comfort zone and try in real life?

May today open up our possibilities if even just in our imaginations. May we remember how important the mind is in creating our life and world. Have a beautiful day!

I will admit I am finding some humor right now in writing a blog about finding peace as I am working through some seething anger. Yet this is exactly why I have chosen to write about it. 

Yesterday I watched the news as they recounted the Capitol building being breached. I listened to the people in the crowd call for something to be done, that something had been stolen from them, for violence. It was like watching another level of my confidence in humanity being peeled back. And as I felt the feelings of sadness, anxiety, and shock wash over me I felt something else creeping in too, anger. 

Outwardly I balked that this "small" group of people had lost their minds. I tried to convince myself that they are the rare few extremists. Yet over the last few years I can no longer feel confident in that ideal. I have witnessed the blatant racism and acts of violence. I have seen the swarms of people turn out to cause damage and chaos. It is not one side or the other because the violence has come from all around. We are in a war even without giving it the name. 

Why are people so angry? I could list a hundred reasons from at least three or four viewpoints. But only one matters. The only anger that matters is my own. If we dealt with what was causing our individual anger then we would have made great leaps to ending the violence and starting a productive step toward solutions. Anger is a great call to action. But it DOES NOT need to be a call to violence. It needs to be a call to look within.

Anger is often the result of fear or a feeling of lack of respect (a lack of being heard). Perhaps even in saying that I am repeating myself because isn't the feeling of lack of respect the fear of not being respected, not being equal, not being acknowledged? 

When I felt my anger creeping in yesterday I can't say I was surprised. I am not knew to this sadness moving to anger or fear moving to anger transition. I do not like to feel afraid. I do not like to question my beliefs, especially one so core as people being mostly good. (Though I do realize the duality the word "good" creates") I do not like to hear about someone being harmed, bullied, or killed by another person. 

Yet anger is not what solves the problem. Anger is just to get our OWN attention. It is then our job to look at that anger and make an action plan. This action plan is not one of violence, not of insults, not of retaliation. It is a plan to decipher what we need to feel at peace and what channels to go about making these changes happen legitimately and to bring understanding. 

We will not get World peace by pointing the finger. We will not get World peace by judging, accusing, and belittling. Peace comes in understanding. Peace comes in compassion. Peace comes in love. 

If you do only one thing this year, let it be seeking to understand your own triggers. Take the time to look at your anger and see what the root cause is and then start open talks about it. Be willing to hear the whole conversation. Be willing to readdress any anger that keeps popping up. Be willing to be the change. We only change the world by starting with ourselves.

I'm grateful to witness my anger. I'm grateful to see how one trigger can make other much lesser triggers more exposed. I'm grateful to know the things that feel like they are seething today are really the root of something much deeper that was triggered yesterday, and the last several years. I'm grateful to take time to breathe. I'm grateful to take time over and over again today to sit with these feelings and dig into the full scope of its roots. I'm grateful to know that we all have the choice to be kind and loving. I'm grateful to believe people want change and are willing to do so with their voices if they are given the opportunity. I'm grateful to ground and reground today so I can continue to make my own choices based in love. 

What makes you angry? What fears does it bring up? How do you respond when a core belief is shaken? How do you respond when you are not in control of something? How can you dig into the root of your feelings this year? How can you offer space to hear someone else?

May today remind us change starts within. May we find ways to give ourself a green light to flush old fears that are no longer our truth. May we heal old wounds so we can continue moving forward in love. May this year bring positive change and a chance for all voices to be heard without violence. Have a beautiful day! 

Most years this picture would sum up the Christmas season; dark snowy scene and a train blur passing trying to get things done. This year doesn't feel that way, at least not to me. 

I can't remember a year, as a massage therapist, that has been this slow at Christmas time. I certainly have never experienced the levels of cancelations that I've seen this season. My personal life seems to be more laid back this year too. Even with the addition of homeschooling I have had plenty of time for ordering and wrapping gifts. (Perhaps some of the ease is also from ordering rather than going to the stores.) 

Do I still find myself stressed over the pandemic, you bet. It is hard to know the numbers are so high and continue to put myself out there. But I have to trust that my clients are being honest and safe. I have to trust that I am doing everything I can. And I have to trust that taking the precautions I do will be enough.

This season is about believing in miracles. It is about being saved. It is about kindness and helping others. I believe in the work I do. I believe I am making a difference. I believe miracles can happen. And I believe this pandemic can be overcome if we take the necessary steps. I believe that even though this year is drastically different from any other Christmas season I have been through, it will still be a great holiday.

But when I find myself struggling to trust, struggling to believe, and having a hard time finding the light; there is one more tool I can use. I can simply breathe. I can be thankful for the mere ability to take a deep breath. I can breathe in the love and support of my family and friends. I can breathe in the scents of the season and be reminded to believe. 

I'm grateful for trust. I'm grateful to choose to be around people that I can trust. I'm grateful to believe. I'm grateful to believe in miracles. I'm grateful to believe in myself. I'm grateful to be surrounded by love. I'm grateful for the amazing people in my life. I'm grateful for cautious clients who keep their health and my own in mind. I'm grateful to be able to make a difference this year even if it looks different than previously. I'm grateful to trust and when that trust waivers I'm grateful to breathe. I'm also grateful for those in my life that help me remember balance.

What tools are you using this season? 

May we work together to come through this pandemic stronger and more united. May we enjoy this Christmas season for it's unique opportunities and slow pace. Have a beautiful day!

This morning started with listening to a whole bunch of big feelings from my preschooler. As I listened to her I couldn't help but notice how my own feelings twisted and turned in response. Part of me wanted to "correct" her or diminish those feelings. Part of me wanted to just cry alongside her. But they aren't called diminish-ings or placate-ings or even bandwagon-ing; they are called FEEL-ings. So we sat there, feeling. 

We talked a little afterwards but not much. I have learned my daughter mostly likes to dump the big emotions she is feeling and then move on. I take a little more processing. I know they aren't called think-ings but for me part of feeling them is understanding the trigger. Unlike some days, I didn't dig in today. Today I observed and felt and noticed possible things that stemmed the reaction for me. 

Not every day is meant to be analyzed. Not every day can be deep and meaningful progress. Some days are made for rest and observation. Some days are made for just FEEL-ing all the feels that show up. That is what today is for me.

I'm grateful my preschooler shares her feelings with me. I'm grateful to have turned off the "fix it" mode today and responded how I wish I always would by just listening and being present. I'm grateful to respect her feelings and honor them. I'm grateful to honor her process of moving on. I'm grateful to honor my own process of observation as I feel. I'm grateful to take time this afternoon to just rest and simply be. I'm grateful to feel deeply and know this can be a strength. 

What triggers your big emotions? What is your process for moving through and FEEL-ing your emotions? 

​May today provide time and space, the rest is up to us. May we feel deeply. Have a beautiful day!

I realize that for Christians this season is all about Jesus being born and the promise this delivered. Yet as a mom of little ones I find myself feeling more drawn to Mary this year. As I navigate some difficult parenting situations I find myself not asking what Jesus would do but what Mary would do. 

As my little one goes through the worst sleep regression yet, my heart feels like it is shattering. I want to drop everything and hold her, yet I cannot sit and hold her for hours of the day while she naps and ignore my four year old (let alone homeschool her). Instead I find myself trying to seek ways to be more attentive when she is awake. I seek ways to be more connected and loving in those moments hoping in some way that will reassure her as we stick to her regular routine of sleeping in her room.

I watch as my preschooler makes the same mistake for what feels like the hundredth time. I want to pull my hair out as I remind her again or help her clean up the resulting mess. And I ask, "What would Mary do?" I try to draw in patience and love. 

I am not perfect. I think Mary probably felt that way too at times. Did she question if she was raising Jesus the "right" way to be the person he was meant to become? Or did she trust that God would do that part as long as she nourished him and loved him? 

As a mom I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself. I view my choices as right or wrong when really most of parenthood lives in that fuzzy grey area. When I act in love and make decisions from the heart I am doing my best for my child. The choice may look different each time depending on the situation. 

Somehow my draw to Mary this year is helping me feel more okay with this grey area. It is reminding me what is important is love. It reminds me that we are only human and we are still loved unconditionally. It reminds me that motherhood is not easy but it is so rewarding when we focus on what is important.

I'm grateful for snuggles. I'm grateful to do my best to help my baby navigate her anxiety and regression. I'm grateful to find support in Mary. I'm grateful for my husband who is so supportive when my heart is breaking. I'm grateful for my preschooler who has been so patient with me as my attention is split. I'm grateful for both my girls' big hearts. I'm grateful to find support in so many ways. I'm grateful to be a mom and so so grateful to not be navigating this adventure alone. 

Who do you feel connected to this year? What mentors or archetypes do you model yourself after? Who provides support and comfort in your life?

May today remind us there are more important things than being right. May we let go of the static in our minds and live from our hearts. Have a beautiful day!

Being the mom of two little girls, I get asked to play a lot. Sometimes there are dishes to do or laundry or whatever that gets in the way, but most days I am able to find time multiple times a day to play with them at least for a few minutes. There are plenty of things I have to say "no" to as a mom, so when it comes to playing I try to say "yes" as much as possible.

This week I have off work. In reality it doesn't change much of our day except I get to eat dinner with the family and have a few more hours to hang out than I would when I am working evenings. Yet somehow today we had an abundance of extra time in the morning. We did the schoolwork my preschooler needed to do even with the toddler crawling all over us and interrupting. And still there was time!

We played a game I had found about sharing called Pass the Ice Cream. It was fun for a little while and then the girls made their own twist on it. We did some yoga and again each girl put their own twist on it. And there was still time!

It was fun and nice getting to move with them through different styles of play and different types of toys. We played dentist and I pretended to extract teeth from silly places like toes and armpits. We played cars which morphed into playing with animals, which were apparently the cars' parents. We played chase and read books.

When we finally had to stop to head up for nap, there were no protests. It was nice, books and nap with no fuss. It made me realize how true it is that when we stop and really connect with people it satisfies something deeper than words. It fills the heart and soul in a whole different way. It was a good reminder for me to not let distractions interrupt this very important time, play time.

I'm so grateful for my girls and their ability to reignite my inner child. I'm grateful to let loose and be silly. I'm grateful to let them be themselves and create their own styles even if it looks nothing like what I would call yoga. I'm grateful to get my own yoga in the way I needed as they got it the way they needed. I'm grateful for a variety of toys to play with so we aren't pigeoned into "girl" toys or even just one storyline. I'm grateful to accept that, in this world of pretend, animals can be parents to cars and they can all speak. I'm grateful to get little windows into their world as I hear the storylines that come through their imaginations. I'm grateful for the sweet way my toddler tags along and throws words in here or there to participate. I'm grateful to see my girls playing together and sharing.

What ways do you like to play? How do you connect with the ones you love? How does your own heart and soul get refilled?

May we take the time to truly be with the ones we love. May we put down the phones and other distractions and just fill each other's hearts with love. Have a beautiful day!

Often in the past I really struggled with the holiday season. The added stress of the holiday season combined with less sunlight and cold temperatures tended to put me in a funk. As I mark the last day of November I can't help but feel a little different this year.

I'm not saying these same things definitely won't happen as the season progresses, but this year feels different. It HAS been different in just about every area of life. As I look at what needs done this year, it doesn't feel so overwhelming. 

The day after Thanksgiving we set up our tree and put out decorations. We decided to keep the decorating pretty simple this year with a toddler around. At the same time I was eager to decorate this year and even open to listening to Christmas music. Since we are all home more this year there is more family time to enjoy the activities of the season. In fact, some things like making sugar cookies can even be planned into our homeschool lessons. 

The list of activities and social functions we need to attend is much smaller...as in nearly non-existent. I don't need to make six cheeseballs and four dozen cookies to divide up between parties, neighbors, and friends. I can still gift to those nearby but mostly I just need to worry about us which is no different than every other day of the year. The craziest part, my kids might actually get to just hang out in their pajamas on Christmas and enjoy their gifts instead of being rushed off to see family. 

I LOVE our family traditions. I love seeing all the aunts, uncles, and cousins from both sides of my parents' large families. I love catching up with everyone and celebrating being together. The thought of all these special moments being canceled made me sad at first. But as I let the reality set in and come to terms with this year...I have to admit the slower pace and just being with my immediate family sounds kind of nice. 

We have the opportunity to build something new. We have the opportunity to make some new traditions. How do we want to spend our time? What activities do we want to make time for even once things go back to normal? This year offers us a blank slate and endless possibilities. I am excited to see what we will build and which things will be continued as we move through the years.

I'm grateful to be forced to shake things up this year. I'm grateful to see the other extreme of what's possible for the holiday season. I'm grateful to know that this knowledge will serve me well as I pick and choose which activities we give our energy to in the future. I'm grateful for a large close family. I'm grateful for my wonderful little family too. I'm grateful for traditions and for the opportunity to create some new traditions. I'm grateful to build this season in a new way that may just be the answer to really enjoying the season. I'm grateful to decorate with my family. I'm grateful to cherish this time with my girls and relish in their excitement and joy.

How will you build this season? What are your favorite traditions? 

May this year be a gift in its own way. May we reconnect with the true meaning of the season and cherish the traditions that remain. Have a beautiful day!

We did a little science experiment today called "Dancing Corn". It involved adding vinegar and baking soda to a glass with some popcorn kernels in it. The bubbles moved the kernels around making them bob and kind of dance in the water. 

My older daughter looked outside and saw the sleet bouncing off the deck and grill. She said, "look the rain is dancing too!" We talked about what makes rain into sleet and watched it "dance" around outside. 

Dancing is a favorite activity in our home. It is not uncommon to have at least one dance party during the day and sometimes another one after dinner. Dancing helps us lighten the load, get some energy out, connect as a family, and just be silly. 

If bobbing corn can be dancing and bouncing sleet can be dancing; what other things in life can be reframed as dancing? There is a song, Life's a Dance, that says you learn as you go. Communication can be a dance sometimes. What might we gain by reframing more things as a dance?

I'm grateful for something to ponder this afternoon. I'm grateful for the fun little dancing corn experiment. I'm grateful my family loves music and dancing. I'm grateful for my daughter's perspective on the sleet that made it transform into a prettier scene for my own mind. I'm grateful for the warmth of my home and to warm up more by dancing. I'm grateful for my girls and seeing the world through their eyes. I'm grateful for the pinecones I put on the deck that get a shriek of glee from my little one each time she notices them. I'm grateful for this life, both the long dance and the shorter ones that make up individual days.

What dances are you grateful for? What can you reframe? When was the last time you allowed yourself to see the "magic" in a preschool science activity?

May today remind us it is all about our perspective. May we find plenty of bounce and lots of reason to dance in each day. Have a beautiful day!

What makes you feel discombobulated? When do you feel persnickety? For me, often times it is when there is a smorgasbord of demands and I feel like the "plates" are starting to fall. Other times it is little things like my kids not being loving to each other or things getting wasted or broken. 

Today was a morning full of triggers for me. It started off well enough but then a few hiccups set me on edge. The first was my preschooler pouring her cow's milk into her sister's oat milk. It was in the pretense to share which was sweet but her sister can't have cow's milk and she refused to drink the combo milk so both cups got wasted. Then it was the last of the cereal being thrown out instead of eaten. Then four demands coming from every direction three minutes after I was supposed to have already left the house for my doctor's appointment. 

I specify what the morning triggers were because looking back I can see that they were minor. They were things that could have been brushed off as a learning lesson and released. And as for the being in demand while running late, the first is always going to happen as a mom so really it is just my trigger around being late. While these all seem like small potatoes, they were enough to make me discombobulated. 

So what do you do when this happens? I will admit my initial response was not the one I prefer. I let my triggers take over as I stood at the door, rather than taking a moment to breathe. I apologized and reconciled this behavior but it got me thinking what could I do differently.

Breathing deeply and slowly often helps. Yet when I am triggered, sometimes that logical side feels far reaching. What about a distraction? One thing I enjoy is weird words. You may have noticed a couple in this post already. I like words that make me giggle. I can't even really tell you why they make me giggle. Words like discombobulated, persnickety, smorgasbord, grommet, and pumpernickel are just a few of such words. What if I could use this knowledge of myself to make that shift? Or perhaps just a simple hug or physically sitting down could also work. 

I'm grateful to be triggered so I could explore other ways to find comfort. I'm grateful to search a new way that is outside the box. I'm grateful for words. I'm grateful for words that make me laugh. I have been told that I am easily amused and even been called simple. But you know what, I'm grateful for this trait. I'm grateful to find amusement where some may not. I'm grateful to be simple in some ways because there is enough complexity each day without me adding to it...by being persnickety. Haha! I'm grateful to laugh. I'm grateful to say I'm sorry and be able to be honest when I have made a choice that isn't in line with who I want to be. I'm grateful to be always learning and growing.

What are some of your techniques? In what ways are you simple and what ways are you complex? What makes you laugh?

May today remind us that we are all human. May we find a way to laugh and move forward. Have a beautiful day!

Role models are great when we use them constructively. When they are held on a pedestal they serve only as a measuring stick to inadequacy and other negative thoughts. Yet when role models are used as a reminder or as a teaching tool, they become a great support.

Many of my beloved childhood memories was of Mr. Rogers. Now as a mom I get to relive and share his messages with my own children. Even in re-watching this wonderful show I find myself reminded of tools I have that still help today.

I was blessed to get to see the movie A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood with Tom Hanks playing Mr. Rogers. I think he did a wonderful job. It is a great way to see him as human and not perfect while still seeing the beautiful, wonderful qualities to model. 

Even tonight as my daughter was having meltdown after meltdown from exhaustion I was able to maintain my center by listening to Mr. Roger's calming voice in my head. "What do you do with the mad that you feel?" "How did you feel about that?" Could we just sit together for a minute? It was a beautiful gift for both of us.

I'm so grateful for Mr. Rogers and all he taught. I'm grateful to have grown up watching. I'm grateful to share the messages with my own children. I'm grateful for all he did for children across the country. I'm grateful for his calm voice. I'm grateful to accept his lessons and use him and a beautiful, constructive role model. I'm grateful to do my best to model myself in this way and keep my center. I'm grateful for tonight with my daughter, just being present and calm. I'm grateful for all the amazing role models in my life.

Who are your role models? Are you using them as constructive models in your life? 

May we remember we are all human. May we ask ourselves in times of struggle, what would our positive, strong, loving role models do? May we hear the answers and center ourselves as positive change. We never know who may just be using us as a role model too. Have a beautiful day!