Life lessons tend to be cyclical. They come around as many times as necessary to fully understand them and grow through them. Currently we are working with my preschooler again on "big" feelings. 

In all honesty, I struggle to handle "big" feelings myself and I tend to be a heart-on-the-sleeve, easy-to-tears person. So the fact that I get to help my daughter with this over and over again is really also a chance to help myself learn more skills. 

We got some more books from the library but I made sure to get ones we hadn't read before. The focus right now is coping with what we call "plot twists" as well as moving forward after the unexpected. The phrase of turning the frown upside down seems to show up a lot in these books but it doesn't do justice to the process. Luckily the books do a great job of giving some ideas on how to cheer ourselves back up to jumpstart the conversation with my daughter. 

How do we turn thing around? How do we bounce back? How do we find the rainbow after the storm? 

The thing is, it is different for each person. Some people need a hug after a disappointment. Someone else may need so quiet, alone time to sort it out themselves. Another person may prefer a distraction to remind them other positive things that are going on around them. Even gratitude can play a roll in moving forward or turning it around. 

My rainbow is music, dancing, doing something silly or creative or if it was a particularly challenging moment, a good, strong hug. Sometimes I use humor to pick myself up or calm myself down, though I have been told I have a very sarcastic sense of humor during these times. As long as it is not hurtful, a laugh may help more than just ourselves. 

I'm grateful for the tips in the books. I'm grateful for a starting place to open the conversation with my daughter. I'm grateful to see that everyone is different in what cheers them up and what works for me may not work for my daughter. I'm grateful to share with my daughter but also listen. I'm grateful to know that what works to cheer her one time may not work the next and we may have to do more problem solving. I'm grateful to know she is worth every bit of the "struggle" as we work together to help her find her own rainbows. I'm grateful to do my best each day to guide and model but I'm grateful to also forgive myself when I fall short. 

What turns your day around? What is your rainbow?

​May today remind us that the combination of our differences and our similarities are what makes us stronger. May we work together to build each other up. Have a beautiful day!

There has been a lot going on in the world lately. While we try to monitor what our preschooler hears and sees we also have to be honest.

She is one of those kiddos whose ears are always on even if they are half a house away. The combination of being an astute observer and listener AND being three, almost four years old means lots of questions. And the questions are often harder than I expected to be dealing with at this age. 

Luckily for me, she loves books! Our library has really been amazing through all this to keep us supplied with reading materials one way or another. Today we picked up another stack of books we had requested. While there are not kids books out yet specifically about Covid, there are plenty about germs and cleanliness. Mostly we have been through those and they proved helpful.

Today's stack was more books about celebrating people's differences, coping with jealousy when it is a sibling's special day, and sharing. Of course, there were also books about other interests like Amelia Bedelia, Dora, creepy crawly things, and chocolate. It is important to be well rounded, after all.

While the books don't cover the specific questions my daughter asks; it gives us a place to start. It helps me find the words to help her understand. It gives me references to use when she asks questions too. "Great question, that is kind of like when (insert book reference)." It seems to help her to know that other people (or crabs, or fictional creatures) have been through this too.

As an added bonus, there is nothing quite as cherished as my girls snuggling on my lap while I read books. It reminds me of reading with my mom. Plus on days like today after a night of each girl waking multiple times, we all need a calm reading day. 

I'm grateful for my little story lovers. I'm grateful to pass on my love of books. I'm grateful to be that mom that will do the different voices and silliness to get into character. I'm grateful for my preschooler's questions that push me to dig deeper myself so I can find the right words. I'm beyond grateful to our amazing library system and staff for all their help. I'm grateful for cuddly moments even in the midst of hard questions.

What do you do to understand and gain insights on everything going on today? Do you use the library? Do you prefer another source of information? 

May today remind us that knowledge is power. May we remember we are not alone even as we navigate a pandemic that is new to us. May we rely on those who came before us and focus on helping the next generation be a generation of love. Have a beautiful day!

Sometimes we just need a little extra light, whether it be shined on a situation or literally. Today I got both. 

My husband had the day off and took time to cut down a big limb that was touching our bathroom window. It was a pretty major limb so just in making this one cut, light poured into our backyard. It was beautiful! We love the shade from all our big trees but it will be nice to grow grass a little easier too.

I also got lots of "light shining" moments from my preschooler today. She teaches me every day how to be a better mom. Today's topic: jealousy. 

She really struggles with jealousy now that her sister is big enough to get around and demand attention of her own. The lack of social time with her own friends doesn't help either. Yet she begs for another baby brother or sister. 

We talked about how her sister will one day be a big three year old like she is now and she will be an even bigger kid and maybe there would be a baby. I asked her if she thought her sister would be jealous of the new baby. She said yes, so I asked what we could do to help her feel better. My preschooler said, "well I will protect the baby from her when she is feeling mad and you will just put her in timeout and play with her toys." 

Cue sad mommy moment as I searched my mind for a response. Rather than explaining that timeouts were a last resort when someone isn't being safe, I asked my preschooler if there was a better way we could work with her sister to help her feel better.

She said, "well I guess we could just hug her. But mostly she will just be mad all the time." I asked if that was how she felt and of course it is. I agreed that we have both been feeling pretty frustrated lately. I told her I don't like timeout either but I don't know what to do if she is not being safe with her anger. We brainstormed a few ideas and have been testing them out with little success but at least it is a place to start. At least it shed light on how it looks from her perspective so we can find a better way.  

Light shining down doesn't instantly make grass grow. It doesn't instantly solve the problem. But it does allow for the opportunity for that growth and change. 

I'm grateful for the opportunity. I'm grateful to keep trying. I'm grateful to work each day to be the best mom I can be during this very emotional time for my preschooler. I'm grateful to have a wealth of resources at my fingertips. I'm grateful for how articulate my child is so we can work together to build a positive relationship. I'm grateful for some extra light on the yard. I'm grateful for all my husband's hard work.

What areas of your life could use a little extra light? What helps you see a different perspective?

​May today open our ears to other voices. May we allow the light to bring new growth. Have a beautiful day!

I've gotten in the habit of taking the reigns on my preschool-age daughter's schedule. To some extent it is necessary but I have noticed myself getting overly attached to doing everything on my schedule. In reality, most of these things can be a little more fluid. 

As you may have guessed if you have ever been around a three year old, she hasn't been taking it well. She really likes making her own decisions and having control. Toddler level options are not enough to appease my precocious child.

It will take some effort and practice getting back to a balance. Today offered several options to practice. I did not succeed at all of them but it was good practice all the same. 

During her sister's nap times she gets some special one on one time with me. The first nap is set aside for art and sensory things to do together. Partly this is because it is when we were doing some preschool stuff during the Spring and that translated to art or sensory play. The second nap is for Barbies, imaginative play, or on occasion a book or reading game on my kindle.

Anyway, the first nap rolled around and my daughter wanted to do a puzzle... a Kitty puzzle. Well we do not own a kitty puzzle so I suggested we make one. I got out some construction paper and we started talking about what shapes we would need to make a cat. I started drawing the shapes and she volunteered to cut them out for me. Perfect! 

Thirty minutes later we had shapes for a cat, dog, person and doghouse. She decided it would be better to Glue the pieces on a page together so her baby sister couldn't mess them up or eat them. Luckily, I have a whole roll of paper just for such purposes so we got that out. Then, of course, the picture needed some grass and crayon accents. It was a lot of fun watching the project grow and emerge. It was nice to just sit back and say "okay, let's do that!" 

Now as I hold on to that feeling of how nice it felt to release the control and just go with the flow, hopefully I can remember to let go of more things. I can use it as my guide to remember to follow rather than lead. And most importantly give my daughter back some of her control and independence that she has well earned.

I'm grateful for the reminder to let go. I'm grateful for how much fun we had creating together. I'm grateful to see how awesome my daughter's cutting skills have gotten as she cut out more and more complex shapes. I'm grateful for her own pride and joy as she watched her ideas manifest. I'm grateful to recognize the places I still have room to grow and do my best. I'm grateful for a child that is such a great teacher as I grow as a parent. 

Where does your life improve from letting go and letting someone else lead? Where does your life need a little more of you in charge?

May we find the balance that suits each of us. May we remember growth is part of life and be willing to out in the work to make change. Have a beautiful day!

I was offered a rare opportunity today to play solely with my baby. My preschooler gets at least one stretch if not two each day of having my sole attention while her sister naps. The baby unfortunately only gets my attention in the brief time we are doing her bedtime routine, no real play time together without her big sister.

While I am still trying to figure out how to find more of this special connection time with my baby; today I will simply celebrate and cherish the time. My preschooler was off with her dad and at first I wasn't even sure what to do with my little one. She was playing with some toys and I sat next to her and sung a couple songs but still didn't feel like we were connecting. 

Her favorite "toy" right now is the ball pit. We put a little foam stairs and slide over the wall so she could crawl in and out herself. So I called her name and then crawled over to the ball pit. She watched me with a big grin and then gave chase. I crawled up the little steps and let myself dive face-first down the slide like she does into the ball pit. She thought that was great and came tumbling in after me.

Between me and the slide most of the ball pit was taken up but she didn't mind. She was perfectly content to crawl all over me, showing me balls. We threw them and "clapped" them and sung about them. I even squeezed myself through the tunnel as I followed her around playing. It was a beautiful connection and reminded me more than ever how important these moments are and encourage me to find more time for this. 

I'm so grateful to just dive in and be silly. I'm grateful to have this beautiful time with my little one. I'm so grateful for how well she plays by herself but I'm grateful she was willing to let me play too. I'm grateful for the joy she gets from the ball pit. I'm grateful to not mind having to clean up 200 balls for the joy it brings. I'm grateful to also have a preschooler that will help clean up those balls. I'm grateful for special dad-daughter time for my older daughter just as much as I am grateful for the special time with each of my girls. I'm grateful to be blessed to get to be home most of each day so I can have these moments to cherish.

What moments do you cherish? When do you "dive-in" and connect with people?

May today remind us the beauty of the simple moments together. May we make time for those who are most important to us. Have a beautiful day!

My oldest daughter and I were reading a new library book today. It is called "The Rabbit Listened." (by Cori Doerrfeld). It was one of those beautiful books that is relatable to kids on so many levels and yet is almost more for the parents. 

The story is about all the different responses different people may have to something going wrong. They may try to fix it for the person or talk it through with them. Yet often times what people need is just to be listened to, truly heard.

It made me realize how often I do this with my daughter. How I try to fix the problem or navigate her around the feelings or through them faster. But these take away her own power and ability to learn how to move through them herself. Children, just like everybody, need someone to just listen.

From the child sad about their blocks falling down to the people protesting in the streets and everything in between; people want to be heard. People need more "rabbits" willing to listen. We need more people willing to let us sort it out to an unbiased, listening ear. And we need to remember as much as we need to be heard, so do the other people talking. 

I'm grateful to lend an ear. I'm grateful for this beautiful book. I'm grateful to see how I can do better. I'm grateful to take this as a beautiful message and not hold any guilt for yesterday as I grow toward tomorrow. I'm grateful to let go of what I did wrong when I didn't know better. I'm grateful for all the "rabbits" in my life. I'm grateful for all the times I was able to be a "rabbit". I'm grateful to make a commitment to do more listening.

Who is needing an ear today? Who is reaching out to you, not for advice, but to be heard? Can you give them this gift? Who can you talk to that will give you this gift?

May today open our ears and our hearts. May we encourage our children to claim their power as we listen to them. May we make this world a better place by listening first. Have a beautiful day!

When you look at the leaves in the picture above, what do you see? Do you see one is brown and one is green? Do you see one is old and one is new? Do you suppose one is soft and one is crunchy?

What do you see when you see the footprints in between the leaves? Can you tell who made them? Perhaps you can assume from other objects in the picture that a child made them. And when you picture that child, what do you picture? Do you picture your own child, niece, or nephew? Perhaps you picture your grandchild or the sweet little one that lives next door. 

We have all heard that it takes a village to raise a child. So if our children are growing up thinking that gangs, violence, or any other unhealthy habit is the only option; who has failed them? We all have. If the precious child that left these innocent footprints grew up to hate, just because the color of skin they saw on their neighbor; who has failed them? We all have. 

We do not have to know someone personally to be able to make a difference. We do not have to be in the situation to be in the "fight" for change. It is all of our responsibilities to spread love. Perhaps you call that God's love, perhaps it is universal love, or perhaps it is just common humanity. It doesn't matter what you call it. It doesn't matter what you look like, what the person next to you looks like, or what the person half a world away looks like; we all deserve love and respect! 

My heart aches as I watch cities falling to violence and riots. My heart breaks to know that there are people that can carry so much hate and ignorance in their hearts to believe it is ever ok to treat anyone less than the child of god that they are. We have failed them. We have failed to show them the good and teach them love. We have failed the people who are harmed at the hands of the violence. 

Not every cop is racist. Most are not, but if even one gets through the screening process then the system is broken. Not every person of color is a gang member, an illegal, or out to steal jobs or anything else. Most are not, but if we allow our view to be skewed by the few then our society and our mindset is broken. Not every while person is racist or turning a blind eye. I would love to say most are not but the best I can do is say that I believe that most feel how wrong it is in their hearts and just don't know how to make a difference. The simple fact of calling this all out by segregating and focusing on our differences is a glaring red light that there is a huge problem that needs fixed. It needed fixed a thousand years ago. It needed fixed a hundred years ago. And I am heartbroken to see we are still broken as a human race.

I cannot say what it is like to live in the fear or the discrimination that other people have had to live. But I can say without a doubt that we ALL need to start speaking up, reaching out, and fixing this together. I pray we can do this without violence and without the loss of more innocent lives. We have to make a change, a million changes really.

I'm grateful to have led a sheltered life. I'm grateful for the blessings I have had and still have. But my heart aches that these basic privileges are not afforded to every single human. I'm grateful to have a diverse group of friends to help teach me. I'm grateful to embrace a variety of perspectives to help give me a more rounded picture of what is happening. I'm grateful for every police officer who is honorable and risking their lives to make the world a better place for every person. I'm grateful for every person who finds the strength to peaceably protest injustice and stand up for what is wrong. I'm grateful for every person in power that takes the steps to make real change. I'm grateful for every person in the "village" who steps up to teach love and respect. I'm grateful for every person who makes a difference and every person who demands change. I'm grateful to have faith in humanity as a whole and to hold hope that we can fulfill Dr. King's Dream and more.

What can you do? How can you make a difference where you live?

May today remind us that we are all children of god. May we stop looking at what is outside and seek to see each other through our hearts. May we find the courage, wisdom, and strength to fix what is broken and begin healing the many, many wounds it has caused. Have a beautiful day.

 

Things are beginning to open back up. The numbers seem to be holding steady so far without a spike in cases. The light at the end of the tunnel seems to be glimmering ahead. 

I got to take the first active steps in planning for my return to work and was met with eager responses. But what is the new normal? There are new protocols and measures in place which means different scheduling. My coworkers and I have to do more co-planning. 

It is also an opportunity to create the schedule I want now that my family has slowed down and re-prioritized. It is a chance to hold my boundaries. It is a chance to rebuild.

I'm grateful for this opportunity. I'm grateful to feel the pull in all directions to remind me what I don't want. I'm grateful to create how things will look moving forward with my husband's input. I'm grateful for a flexible family. I'm grateful for a great client community and an eager welcome back. I'm grateful to love what I do and look forward to creating this new normal.

What will your new normalcy be as we move forward? How do you want your life to look?

May we make conscious steps moving forward to create the path we want. May we have the courage to step out of the ruts of where we have been. May we find joy, beauty, and gratitude as we move forward. Have a beautiful day!