Today is 10/10, so it's bound to be a good day, right? One of the best gifts, to me, is being heard.

Throughout my childhood I struggled to really project my voice and be heard. As an adult I have done slightly better with this only to have reached the phase of my life called Parenthood. I am currently in the phase of Parenthood blessed with a special kind of ignoring that only a preschooler can manage to pull off and still seem sweet and innocent. I won't lie, it drives me crazy.

​My husband and I have made more of an effort to find times to communicate despite two small kids and working opposite schedules. But there are still days where I am climbing into bed and the only adult conversations I've had were a quick rundown of the girls' day for their dad and my nearly daily chat with my mom. So it is not surprising that when offered an adult conversation I jump at the chance.

Two conversations have really stuck out this week. Neither were typical people I get to have long conversations with very often. It was an extra treat to then get reassurance and agreement from them in a decision I have gone back and forth on in my head for a while. It isn't that their opinion weighs more but rather that they heard my point of view. 

I'm grateful for this interaction. I'm grateful to feel heard. I'm grateful for my husband and my best efforts to make time to have conversations beyond who needs fed and when one or the other of us will be home from work. I'm grateful to slow down a little. I'm grateful to do my best to offer my ears and attention to others needing to be heard. I'm grateful for time to hang out with my best friend. And I'm grateful for a good, productive conference today. I'm grateful to see the numbers and read them as a positive sign. And I'm glad the universe is acting accordingly.

What helps you feel heard? What conversations fill your cup? Who have you been meaning to call and catch up with and how can you carve out some time?

May today remind us that being heard is an easy gift to give. May we listen as much as we speak. And may we feel heard on the topics that mean the most to us. Have a beautiful day!

Today I would like to share some random things that make me smile. I have often been told I am easily amused. In my eyes, this is a great compliment. I enjoy being amused so the easier the better. 

Monday, while driving my daughter to swim lessons, traffic came to a complete stop. As it turns out some geese had decided to have a parade. And they were in no hurry to move along just for some silly drivers' schedules. I was happily tickled by their little shenanigan. 

The other night my husband and I were having a conversation over dinner. Our three year old, as three year olds do, was interrupting and proclaiming she had a question. We reminded her to use her manners and ask for her turn to talk rather than just interrupting. Then when we asked what her question was she was so excited for it to be her turn she just quickly looked around her to find something to talk about. The result was her looking around frantically just to shout "squirrel!" I laughed so hard I cried and now every night at dinner she says "Hey Mommy, squirrel!" trying to get me to laugh that hard again. 

Today as I drove home from work I pulled up behind three cars at a stoplight. The stoplight turned green and we sat. We stayed there for a good twenty to thirty seconds before the first car realized the light had changed and started going. What made me so happy about this? Not one of us in line behind this car honked, went around or in any way rushed. We all just sat and waited politely. It was beautiful! 

I'm grateful to be easily amused. I'm grateful when I can slow down and see these beautiful moments for what they are. I'm grateful for people who pause for animals. I'm grateful for people who are patient with each others' human-ness. I'm grateful for laughter and for my daughter who frequently provides this gift for me. I'm grateful for a new day and a new smile along the road. I'm grateful for those who smile and laugh with me.

Each day there are opportunities to smile, to laugh, and to enjoy simple things. It is up to us if we choose to recognize these little gifts. When was the last time you were easily amused? What made you smile today?

May today keep us in the moment and allow us to see its beauty. May we smile and laugh easily. Have a beautiful day!

Three months ago today I was in complete denial that my water had just broken. In some ways I can't believe it has already been three months. Where did the time go? She is growing so fast! 

In other ways I can't believe only three months time could change so much. I can't imagine life without our sweet baby girl. It seems like longer since we had a screaming-in-pain six week old when I look at my mellow, smiling thirteen week old. We've already been through a few bumps but they were all so worth it.

I read an article today asking if you could go back, knowing what you know now, would you choose to have children again. Rather than everyone saying "absolutely" or "it was rough but totally worth it" there was a lot of raw honesty. One mom whose son had mental health issues says she would not if only to save him the struggle he will face his whole life. One scientist wrote no because of the climate issues that our children will have to face. And several others said they loved their kids but no, if they had the choice again they would not. 

I read that article and let these comments sink in. These parents answered honestly. It's not that the "it was worth it" answers are not honest; they are definitely some people's truth. But it was healing to me in some way to hear that not everyone feels that way. It doesn't mean they love their kids any less. It just means they would have made a different choice. 

Becoming a mother with my first was a much rougher transition than I had been prepared for. It was hard for me to accept the areas I fell short of my own high expectations. I worried that I may fall down the same hole with my second but it turns out once those standards were proven impractical the journey for number two has been much smoother. 

Reading the responses in the article gave me permission to ask myself what my honest answer would be. I think I would have been happy after my first divorce moving forward with the plans I made based on remaining on my own. But no matter how happy I would have been it always would have been my "plan B". I always wanted to be a mom and even with the rough transition, no matter how many times I get thrown up on, no matter how many poop accidents I have to clean, and no matter how many tantrums I have to navigate; this would always be my choice. I wouldn't change my mind because of the challenges because nothing compares to the love, the hugs, the "love you mommy", and most of all the watching a child grow into themselves and waiting to see what beauty they will add to the world.

Yes, there are many problems with the world as it is today. The climate is only one of those troubles my girls will face. But I truly believe nothing is set in stone. We can use our children for motivation if we need to to prompt us to make those changes. And we can build our children up to use their minds and confidently pursue ways to make this world better. 

I'm grateful for the raw honesty of the article. I'm grateful for the perspective of those parents that gave a different response. I'm grateful to allow myself to take an honest look at this question myself. I'm grateful to know I could have been happy either way. I'm grateful to know that I have no regrets. I'm grateful to know that each challenge makes me stronger and that it is worth it for the love I get to give and receive. I'm grateful for three amazing months with my little and three wild and wonderful years with my oldest. I'm grateful for many more to come. I'm grateful for my beautiful girls. And I'm grateful to still use the word beautiful even as the world is trying to tell us not to comment on girls' beauty, because there are a million types of beautiful both inside and out and my girls will know they are beautiful in their own way. I'm grateful to be a mom and I'm grateful to be on this journey with my amazing husband who is my rock and soulmate.

Would you choose your current path again? What aspects do you appreciate and which would you change? How can you move toward the life you most want?

May we all find he blessings in the path we chose. May we move forward with no regrets but a healthy dose of honesty. Have a beautiful day!

As we enter into a new work week I can't help but have marriage on my mind. My husband and I were lucky to have carved out a small portion of one on one time this weekend despite multiple anti-nap shenanigans by our girls. Also this week marks my parents' anniversary, forty-one years. 

It was said so well in Princess Bride. "Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam, and wove, twue wove." It is said so well not because of the humor, though I do love that movie, but because of how it is said. Marriage is a blessed arrangement. It is hopefully a dream within a dream and true love. But ike the pronunciation, or perhaps just enunciation, it is not perfect.

Marriage, true marriage wasn't meant to be picture perfect. It wasn't meant to be the reflection of the crystal goblets and eating off the fine china in candle light with never a negative word said. It was meant to be spaghetti left on the chair and sat in, bonfires that sometimes get larger than planned, and renovations both of the home and of the relationship.

We weren't made to be rigidly one way for our whole life. Life shapes us and we shift and adapt in return. Marriage is like life. Things come our way and we each adapt in our own way. The beauty is being able to adapt our own way and still respect, love, and if we're lucky even understand our mate. Marriage is the ability to go through all that and still take each others' hand and say "what's next?" 

I'm grateful to witness the beauty of my parents' marriage. I'm grateful for all they have taught me as they navigated their marriage. I'm grateful to hold hope for my husband and I celebrating forty-one years of marriage even though we started much later. I'm grateful for Princess Bride and for this quote that is beautifully perfect in its imperfect delivery. I'm grateful to be walking my path with my soulmate and to make the commitment to each other even amongst the distractions of life. I'm grateful for our beautiful daughters and even their shenanigans. 

What does marriage look like to you? What is the most important aspect of your own view of marriage?

May we cherish the moments we have with the ones we love. May we come through each bump stronger and more in love. And may we renew our commitment each day. Have a beautiful day!

Autumn is here! October is here! Technically neither of these started today, but it finally FEELS like Fall! 

Yesterday the temperature was 86 degrees as a high. Then the storm front rolled through and today didn't even make it to 60 degrees! Now, I will admit that my favorite temperatures hover between mid fifties as a low and low seventies as a high, but I'll take this drastic shift as a first sign of Autumn.

Autumn is my favorite season, full of pumpkins and owls and all the best holidays. My excitement over Halloween has not waned since adulthood. I absolutely love costumes and I'm extra excited when we can do couples or family themed costumes. My birthday falls during this season, always a bonus. And it ends with one of the best holidays, Thanksgiving! 

On top of all the celebration and merriment; Autumn offers the beauty of color changing leaves and the scent of campfires. I am eager to have some back deck nights with the chiminea warming us as my husband and I sit and chat. Hopefully some friends or neighbors will even join sometimes. It truly is the best time of the year in my book!

I'm so grateful to break out the halloween t-shirts. I'm grateful for Halloween and Autumn decor. I'm grateful for the cooler temperatures so I can bring out my favorite hoodies. I'm grateful for pumpkin spice...well everything. I'm grateful for yummy seasonal baked goods like pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. I'm grateful for the excitement of planning Halloween outfits. I'm grateful to have a family theme this year. I'm grateful for the opportunity to celebrate another year of life.

What do you love about Autumn? What is your favorite season and why? 

May we celebrate each season and cycle of life. May we find beauty in nature. Have a beautiful day!

Music plays an important role in my mood. I seem to absorb the music playing around me. This means I have to be cognizant of what music is playing. Sad music will bring sad emotions to the surface. Bouncy music makes me feel buoyant and inspiring music, you guessed it, inspires me. 

I haven't been listening to a lot of music other than the kid tunes I play for my daughter. And I have gotten out of the habit of listening to music around the house for the most part except for the occasional evening home with my family. 

This morning I felt it calling to me. I turned on Mr. Stinky Feet to bop along to with my girls in the morning but then slipped back into silence as morning turned to afternoon. At one point before I put my daughters down for nap I heard my oldest singing "This Little Light of Mine." It warmed my heart and put a smile on my face.

Soft music is always playing as I work, part of the job, but I rarely pay attention to the instrumental lullabies. On the way home I was conflicted because I had a headache from the storm moving in. I decided to dig deep on my ipod to an album I haven't listened to in a while, one to feed my soul.

I turned on Nahko Bear's "Medicine for the People". Let me preface by saying I do not like every song on this album, a few are quite offensive and many have at least a couple swear words which I wish were edited out. This is actually why I haven't listened to it in a long time. Even the songs I love off the album can not be safely listened to in earshot of my daughter. Anyway, I turned it on and belted out the parts I could remember. One lyric is talking about feeling like you're spiritually dying and praying for guidance. He says he took a dose of the music. It struck me that this was what I was needing, a dose of soul-healing music.

God speaks to each of us in our own way. We each have our own ideas on what that means and how it all works. Today I felt spoken to through the music. This little light of mine, I WILL let it shine. I was born to be here right now, a part of this space in time, a part of this family for a reason. I have something to contribute and I have plenty to learn. My ears are open as well as my heart. I'm listening to the music but also beyond the music to whatever message I'm supposed to be hearing right now.

I'm grateful for music. I'm grateful another person at another place in their own life can write the words that speak directly to me in my moment. I'm grateful to sing, even off key. I'm grateful to express myself and feel heard. I'm grateful for the messages I receive. I'm grateful for all the blessings in my life, my girls, my family. I'm grateful to allow music to be a part of our lives and commit to adding more of it back into our daily routine.

What is your favorite song? How does it make you feel? Do you choose to listen to the music that raises you up?

May we make conscious choices about the energy we surround ourselves. May we remember to let loose and sing, even dance and let our spirit (and light) shine for the world to see. Have a beautiful day!

Mentors are such an important role. A good mentor will not tell you what to believe, who you are, or even who you should be. A mentor can guide you to find all these answers on your own by listening and then asking the right questions.

Today was my uncle's funeral and I found myself in a struggle with my beliefs. One thing about having my own, unique beliefs is that when there is a conundrum it's answer is completely dependent on me. If I am at an impasse I need to know the right question to ask to help me move through the obstacle. Luckily I am blessed to have just such a mentor!

The thing about beliefs is that everyone has them in one form or another. So when someone questions their own it is easy to project ours for them to see. They still have the option to listen or not. But what if we went a whole different way? What if we helped guide them through their own beliefs instead of planting our own?

As I let my tears fall tonight talking to my dear friend and mentor she offered me this gift. It isn't what we believe or don't believe that poses the problem. The issue comes from why we are choosing to resist one belief or cling to another. The question isn't which belief is right. The question is what is it about the gap that triggers us.

I'm so grateful for powerful questions. I'm grateful for questions that pull me back and make me think. I'm grateful for this beautiful woman and all her wisdom. I'm grateful to be able to call her a friend as well as a mentor. I'm grateful for the beautiful memories my uncle has left with us still here. I'm grateful to see others remembering him for the safe generosity and kindness that I will remember him by. I'm grateful for the reminder to be the person today I want to be remembered by tomorrow.

Who in your life asks the right questions instead of giving you their own answer? 

May we find our own path and our own beliefs while respecting each others'. May we find peace within what we choose to believe. May we all have at least one person in our lives willing to hold their own answers and just ask the right questions. Have a beautiful day!

Often I write my blog about what I was grateful for throughout the day or even what will be happening tomorrow. It is rare that I write about this exact moment. Part of that is because the gratitude I feel in this moment is usually a build up of things through the day. The other part, if I'm being honest, is that my mind is generally recalling what has happened or planning what will happen and rarely in this exact moment. 

I find myself sitting with my daughters and getting distracted. Even when I am focusing on being present I stop to take pictures. 

Recent events have reminded me how important it is to be in the moment and present with the ones we love. We never know when someone will be called away from this life so it is important to make the most of the moments we have together. 

Also, as a mom, I am recognizing the need to be present with myself in the few moments I am alone. It is not that I can't work on my to do list but rather being present with the task instead of letting my mind race to all the things that I need to do next. I believe this presence with turn into a present, a true gift to myself.

So tonight I challenge myself to be in THIS moment.

I'm grateful for the soft, cool breeze of the air conditioner blowing across me. I'm grateful for the soft hum of the fan that even now is trying to lull me to sleep. I'm grateful for a baby monitor that allows me to monitor both of my girls, in separate rooms, from the comfort of my own bed. I'm grateful they are sleeping peacefully. I'm grateful for the weight of my comforter and back support of my pillows because, yes, I am writing my blog from bed tonight. I'm grateful for this ability to write my blog from wherever I want or need. I'm grateful to still have the pack'n'play here next to me though my baby moved to her crib a few days ago. It brings mixed emotions about her growing up so fast but I'm grateful for its presence all the same. 

Well I admit I typed several things I am grateful for that I ended up erasing because I realized I was slipping into tomorrow or earlier today. One thing I will add is that I'm grateful in this moment to be relatively pain free. It makes all the difference!

How do you feel? What are you grateful for in this exact moment? Being present in body and mind, what comes up for you?

May today allow us to be present with the moments. May we flow with the fun and the challenging moments and keep our center in the process. May we stay present with the ones we love. Have a beautiful day!

After a scorching hot end of Summer it was nice to have some slightly cooler temperatures today. I'm not a fan of being cold but it is possible that I own about a dozen jackets that I love to wear. This morning provided the perfect opportunity to wear one. 

I love when I can wear a jacket in the morning, be comfortably warm in the afternoon, then have a drive with the windows down ride home from work. Today met all this criteria. Autumn is finally creeping out of hiding! 

The cooler temperatures have me looking forward to pumpkin spice candles, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, pumpkin spice cereal. It isn't just my nose and taste buds looking forward to Autumn; my eyes are ready for the beautiful colored leaves that grace us this time of year. 

Driving home tonight I was thinking about Halloween and my birthday that are both approaching. I looked up at the beautiful sunset and clouds and couldn't help but see a mask. It was like two orangish-yellow eyes glowing at me and reminding me pumpkin carving season is just around the corner too.

In case you couldn't tell, this is my favorite season! It has all my favorite things and in return I have an abundance of gratitude! 

I'm grateful for pumpkin spice everything. I'm grateful for pumpkin chocolate chip cookies which are amazing! I'm grateful for all the beautiful colors the leaves turn here in the heartland. I'm grateful for anticipation. I'm grateful for the first hints of Autumn weather. I'm grateful for birthdays that mean I was blessed with one more year. I'm grateful for my jackets and sweatshirts. I'm grateful for Halloween and fun, playful costumes. I'm grateful for the delicious Autumn soups and other cooler weather foods that will be gracing my table. I'm grateful my husband is an amazing chef!

What is your favorite thing about Autumn? What do you look forward to this time of year? What is your favorite time of year?

May today renew our hope and remind us that change can be beautiful. May we take time to enjoy the beauty of this season as it rolls in. Have a beautiful day!

If ever there was an appropriate day to ditch the to do list, this is it. The news last night of my uncle's unexpected passing still hasn't fully processed into reality.

Rather than add stress by rushing around to clean and run errands it seems to be a good day for sitting back. It has proved the perfect day for the word "yes". "Mommy will you read me another book?" -Yes. "Mommy will you snuggle me?" -Yes. "whuaaaaaaaa!" (Translation:"Mommy will you hold me all day long, never put me down or be out of my sight?") -Yes. "Mommy can I have..." -Yes "...a carrot?" Wait, what? My kid wants a carrot? Absolutely! Haha. 

Today we woke early so it was a nice slow morning getting round for school. There was extra time for books. The kids in my daughter's class all loved the snack of pepper cups stuffed with cucumber and carrots. (Who says kids don't love vegetables?!) After lunch we made time for a craft and even a short walk. The added beauty being my daughter went down or nap with no protest...well, my older daughter anyway. The baby lasted all of ten minutes before reminding me of my previous "yes".

Three loads of laundry sit and stare at me. The dishes still need done from last night. The house needs vacuuming. The house could use a good general cleaning. And yet here I sit because in this moment none of that seems as important as the sleeping baby in my arms. Time is precious. If one good thing could come from the loss of a loved one it is the message to prioritize our minutes.

I'm grateful to just sit and hold my daughter. I'm grateful to type my blog up this afternoon so I can take the time I need to be with my extended family tonight. I'm grateful to just sit and honor resting after lack of good sleep last night. I'm grateful to prioritize and to get to say "yes". I'm grateful for snacks I can feel good about sharing with my daughter's class. I'm grateful for art. I'm grateful for soft music. I'm grateful to allow the process. I'm grateful for family. I'm grateful to know at some point the to di list will get done.

What are your priorities today? What will you choose to say yes to?

​May today accept us as we are. May we allow the process to flow. May we find our priorities in line with our hearts. Have a beautiful day!