Yesterday I took some more time to recharge. There are times for rest and times for growth. I kept picturing the lotus flower slowly unfolding. I wrote yesterday's blog when I still felt "in the thick of it". Yet returning my focus to gratitude and my blog helped me recognize just how stuck and heavy my energy felt.

I'm all for recharging and retreating when needed but suddenly I felt like I was stuck in "the moment". Wait. Don't we always hear, "live in the moment"? I'm pretty sure they mean live in the present moment but even that can be tricky when we have to uphold some responsibilities and planning such as getting bills paid. 

The moment I was stuck in was a version of the present moment. It was the present moment in the middle of a tug-o-war between past choices and the uncertain future. What helps conquer the fears of uncertainty? Certainty, for one, and the one thing that is absolutely certain is I cannot change the past.

Then what can we do about uncertain futures? Some people may answer that all futures are uncertain, but that doesn't really help me feel better. How about you? What helps me feel better is being active. It doesn't matter if the next page isn't written in stone as long as I am still holding a pen. And that is where I was stuck yesterday. I had put down my pen. I didn't know my next sentence. I was waiting for someone else to write the next part of my story.

So I took back some control. I wrote one letter at a time. In this case, I wrote one email at a time. I reached out to see who I could help. If I can't help the way I am used to helping right now, what other ways can I make a difference? 

The thing is, as soon as I got done writing a few emails I got a call. The Universe was responding to my actions. It wasn't a game-changing call, just a small bit of positive news that encouraged me to keep moving. The clouds were parting, or to go back to my first visualization, I was blooming. 

It is great to live in the moment, but when that moment isn't pleasant there may be factors outside that moment invading the space. Perhaps it is a sign to turn inward or perhaps it is a sign to get proactive and take back some control. Only you can answer what you need in that moment. There is no right or wrong answer. If it feels right go with it, but if it feels heavy maybe it is time to try something new. 

I'm so grateful to push through and write yesterday. I'm grateful to honor that lotus feeling, resting and blooming. I'm grateful to get proactive and write. I'm grateful to recognize the weight and cast it off. I'm grateful for those responses I received yesterday. I'm grateful to feel energized by my actions and know I am moving in the right direction. I'm grateful to take a break and go play at the park with my kids. I'm grateful for bits of good news to encourage me. I'm grateful to see solutions now, rather than road blocks. 

What do you do when you are stuck? What do you do to move forward?

May we remember we are all different. May we take the time to figure out what works best for us and use those methods to create our best life. Have a beautiful day!

I am all about watching for signs from the Universe. I love feeling that connection and guidance. Yet sometimes I find myself wondering what's the message? 

Sometimes I can clearly see how I have created something with my intention or focus, for better or worse. Other times there is so much information to sift through I have a harder time finding the purpose. Perhaps that static IS what I am creating. Or perhaps I do know what the message is telling me but I am not really wanting to hear it. 

This weekend was full of signs. I could feel several very key moments that struck an emotion or pinged my brain in an "are you getting this" kind of way. Yet as I sit here at the end of the weekend I feel like there was conflicting messages. Am I giving conflicting intention on what I want and where I am going? 

Even as I type this I know the answer is yes, though I would love to say "of course not". The path of least resistance is nice. It is familiar. It is not really easy but it is comfortable. I love being comfortable. But maybe comfortable isn't my best path anymore. What's more, I wonder if it is a poor path for some of the people I love most. Perhaps these signs, these uncomfortable nudges are to prod me into growth. Perhaps they are signs for choosing change. 

It is time to be silent. It is time to ask, not to hear my mind answer, but to hear my heart and soul answer. It is time to ask with the intention of being open to the real message, even if that message is uncomfortable.

I'm grateful for some extra time this week to listen. I'm grateful to take some time to ask and ponder. I'm grateful to see the need to let go of my mind spinning and listen for the deeper message. I'm grateful to be honest with myself on what I am creating versus what I say I want. I'm grateful to recognize the signs, even when I may not be ready to hear the message clearly. I'm grateful to find the courage to hear.

What signs are showing up for you lately? Are they clear to interpret or is there some confusion? How can you seek clarity?

​May we always know we are loved and supported. May we be willing to take the steps necessary to grow into who we are meant to be next. Have a beautiful day!

We have so many words in the english language and yet sometimes they are not enough to fully describe something. Some languages have amazing words that fill gaps english doesn't cover. "Koyaanisqatsi" is a Hopi word for when nature or life is out of balance and isn't sustainable over time. "Jugaad" is Hindi for finding new ways to creatively solve problems without a lot of resources. "Retrouvailles" is French for that amazing happiness you feel when you reconnect with someone after a long absence. (Special thank you to Nicola Edwards and Luisa Uribe for the book "What a Wonderful Word" that introduced me to so many amazing words!)

Then there are other times when it doesn't matter how many words you have; silence is better. Sometimes people need to just be heard without questions, without affirmations, without trying to problem solve or even apologize. Sometimes people just need to speak to someone silently, attentively listening. 

It felt like that was what was needed most today. Perhaps I am feeling quieter because of the rainy, dark-yet-calming sky. As my daughters each took a turn at a big meltdown, I just heard them. I didn't offer my usual, "I hear you" or "That can be so frustrating". I didn't ask them to identify their feelings or walk through how we could problem solve it. I just sat there, silently listening. 

My oldest, in my silence, found her own way through it. She came to a solution, and went through the cycle again as it failed. Then tried again until she got it. I smiled. She moved on. 

My little one had an epic meltdown and rolled around the floor. She came back to me and then did it all over again. Time and again until she had worn herself out. Then she lay there resting and rebuilding her energy just holding my hand and watching my face. I just watched lovingly and calmly. 

It is not easy for me. Children crying is a trigger for me. Perhaps some of it is the mere volume, as I do struggle with loud noises. The other part is the painful shattering I feel in my heart when my kids cry, even if I know they are okay (or will be as they work through it). 

I have taught myself to try not to fix it. I have taught myself to be there for them and acknowledge the feelings they are feeling. I have taught myself rote responses to use so that I do not succumb to the overwhelm of this trigger. But silence? 

I had this mental story that if I didn't say anything they would not feel supported. I worried that not saying anything would make it too uncomfortable to sit in that place of high emotion. I worried without the rote responses my trigger would become my focus instead of my child. But today I sat in that discomfort. I sat in silence and watched my children, perfectly capable, work through the big emotions themselves and seem to still know that I was there for them. 

Silence. Just listening. No words needed. No fixing or problem solving or even affirming the feeling was needed for them to see I was there for them. Just silent presence. 

I'm grateful for the gift of silence today. I'm grateful to honor my own feeling of needing to be silent. I'm grateful to see an old mental story be shattered and see a new story offered. I'm grateful to just sit in those emotions and still be in control of my own. I'm grateful to feel those waves push at my energy and feel that mine is strongly and uniquely my own. I'm grateful. I'm grateful for ways there are not words to describe and grateful for the option to change languages to find a word when needed.

When do you need words? What is something you wish you had a word to describe? When do you need silence? When do you give the gift of silence to someone else?

May today offer us silence. May we bask in it, feel it, and learn from it. Have a beautiful day!

Today has me feeling a bit off kilter. My anxiety has been tested. My patience has been tested. My sanity is feeling a little bit tested. So I think it is time, now that I have a few minutes to myself, to test my focus. It is time for a tune UP.

I need to tune back in to all the things that have gone right today. I want to tune back in to all the things I am grateful for right now. I want to tune my vibration back to a higher resonation. This is the kind of tune up I am needing. How about you?

When I am tuning up, the number four is especially important. I need the four senses of my meditation, my grateful four, and at least four minutes. You may be thinking, "wait aren't there five senses?" When I am tuning up, I prefer to have my eyes closed. I prefer to cut our that extra information coming in. I check in on any lingering tastes and have a little drink of water. I check in on what I smell, thankfully nothing funky like diaper trash. I check in on what I hear. In my case it is more important what I don't hear. I don't hear the kids fussing or screaming, just silence...or mostly aside from the dog snoring and my husband working in his office on a creaky chair. I hear peace. These help set the tone because without these first elements I can't properly focus on feel. It isn't so much touch that I am zeroing in on, but rather how things feel inside my body. That vibration of chaos that lets me know I needed this time. 

Once I sink into that physical space, the present moment; I can begin thinking on my grateful four. These are the four things I am grateful for today that hopefully I already outlined when I woke up. If not, they can certainly be found in this moment too. 

I'm grateful for all the ways my kids help me grow as a person. I'm grateful to have a flexible wake up schedule right now to allow me to not be rushed in the morning. I'm grateful to wake up next to my husband every day. I'm grateful for my amazing family and all the love and support we share. 

In this moment I am grateful for this peaceful quiet. I'm grateful for my dog's snores. I'm grateful for wonderful nurses that do their best to keep a doctor's visit moving along smoothly. I'm grateful for my kids' bravery. I'm grateful for easy lunch options. I'm grateful for my husband who is my rock when I am off kilter. I'm grateful to sit and have a tune up. And I'm grateful for the lingering taste of that chocolate covered almond...yum!

What are you grateful for in this moment? When was the last time you gave yourself a tune UP? How does that look for you?

May we remember to take care of ourselves just as we would our kids or our cars. May we nourish our body, mind, and spirit. Have a beautiful day!

I've been in a good mood lately. I've kept up with the balance of self-care and sleep that keep me in a good mindset. I've done well at calmly correcting my kids when the need arises. Things seem to be cruising along pretty smoothly.

Yet under the surface I can feel something is still stirred up. My body feels jittery. I can feel anxiety or overwhelm peeking through over minor things. And I know that if I were not doing so well on my self-care, this could be a recipe for disaster by letting my emotions get the best of me. 

Being aware of this feeling is so important. It is the first warning that something is going on. Where am I needing a little more self-care or support? What is triggering me? The most important thing for me to do now is listen and shift. If I ignore it, it will only grow.

Have you felt this jittery feeling? Have you felt other emotions under the surface, like annoyance or anger? 

There is a lot of talk about how much everyone went through last year. In reality, most of us are still going through a lot. The pandemic isn't over and now new variables are in the mix. There has been a lot of changes, even ones that seem like steps toward a return to normal are still shifts that require our adjustment. 

It's okay. It is okay if these shifts are no big deal and it is okay if these shifts jumble us up a little. There isn't a right or wrong way to feel about it. 

I had someone yesterday feeling completely irate and directing that emotion at me. It wasn't about me. It was about her fear and where she is in her own adjustment to everything that's going on. I was able to allow her that space and then took time to discharge that later by myself. (And she did graciously apologize afterwards.) We're all human. We all have emotions. 

I'm grateful to hold that space for her without taking it personally. I'm grateful for this growth. I'm grateful for all the self-care I have been doing lately. I'm grateful to recognize the imbalance somewhere and commit to filling that need. I'm grateful for all the wonderful people I have in my life that help me grow and help me balance. I'm grateful for a supportive family. I'm grateful for awesome kids and I'm grateful they are starting to get into meditating with me sometimes. I'm grateful for time today to focus on me.

May today tune us in to any imbalances that need attention. May we listen to our body and our emotions. May we respect each other and hold space for one another. Have a beautiful day!

Despite the picture, I am not at the beach today. The picture felt fitting because today has felt a little like that sensation when you are standing on the beach and the wave pulls back into the ocean, making the sand shift beneath your feet. Do you know that feeling? The one where you know you are still standing solid and yet you are also aware that the ground beneath you is moving. 

Yesterday felt like a leap forward. I woke early and exercised, took some "me" time. It felt like the mornings before kids, where I had gotten plenty of sleep the night before and was eager to start the day. 

Last night was full of bad dreams and restless sleep. I woke feeling like I never went to bed and super emotional. I can pinpoint a few reasons for this, including not focusing on the positive parts of the day before falling asleep. It felt like the giant leap I had made forward yesterday was followed by a hard stumble backwards today, leaving me somewhere in the middle. It isn't though. I didn't lose the beauty of yesterday, it just didn't repeat. I am still on solid ground, it's just a little shifty today. 

I'm grateful to remember things are not so black and white. I'm grateful to be okay in the grey stuff somewhere in the middle. I'm grateful to know there is beauty in all of it. I'm grateful to have still made today a positive, fun experience. I'm grateful to get outside for this beautiful weather again. I'm grateful for the imagery of the sand beneath my feet. I'm grateful to know someday I will be standing on the shore again. I'm grateful for yesterday's beauty and I'm grateful for the different beauty in today.

Where are you today? Are you somewhere in the middle? What is the beauty to be found where you are in this moment?

May today remind us there is beauty in each day, in each moment, in each situation. May we always feel the solid ground even when some things are shifting. Have a beautiful day!

I have been feeling like a crabby bear the last couple weeks. I don't know if it is a post-natal hormone shift, stress, or just not enough self-care. It is probably a little bit of all these things. I have just not been feeling like myself.

I would love to say that even though I feel crabby I have been coping well and not letting it affect my relationships; but, alas, I am human. I have had a shorted fuse with my kids and my husband. Even small things seem to get on my nerves more. It is time for a big time out. 

Even the usual Mindful Monday practice with my girls didn't reset me. We did some silly yoga and some imagination and deep breaths. Right now, I am needing more than that. I'm needing my own, grown-up time and a deeper meditation. So I'm going to take time and do that for myself because I deserve it.

This weekend provided a wonderful change of scenery, a break from cooking, and good chats with my mother-in-law. It was a great weekend to reset. So coming back and still feeling not fully reset means it is on me to take care of myself and meet whatever needs are still needing met. 

I'm grateful to have had a weekend away. I'm grateful my kids did so well with a new environment (which has been rare in the last year) and with travel. I'm grateful for all my mother-in-law did to spoil us and nurture us while we were there. I'm grateful to be back home and the routines coming easy. I'm grateful to recognize my need for deeper self-care and deeper breaths. I'm grateful for my kids' and husband's patience with me lately. I'm grateful to know I can rebalance.

What do you do for yourself when you aren't feeling yourself? What is your favorite form of self-care?

May we remember the importance of listening to our bodies. May we take care of ourselves with love and nurturing. Have a beautiful day!

How can it be that February has just started and yet the calendar is already full? The funny thing is any other year there would be even more on the calendar with school and playdates. The calendar now is filled with special family activities and days like "Wacky Wednesday" where I decorate the house in wacky things to give the kids a giggle. The addition of a lot of birthdays this month, Valentine's Day, and SuperBowl seem to have every weekend scheduled. 

It is mostly in my mindset. My anxiety is a little higher today due to lots of kid meltdowns. Between their grandma leaving today and the baby teething and the older being a high emotion four year old it was a noisy morning. 

As I sit here and take a few slow, deep breaths the static starts to melt away. The calendar is filled with fun things and spending so much time with family is such a blessing. I laugh as I think of how the calendar will fill up come Fall when school is no longer from home. Even as I laugh I feel the edges of anxiety creeping back up so it's time for a few more breaths. 

I have mentioned before that I think this year's theme, for me, will be around letting go of fears and old patterns. It will be about the "death" of what no longer serves and how to release that to carve something new. The calendar is an excellent place to start and a great example for me to visually measure. 

Which things on the calendar are truly important? Which things make me feel anxious and why? Maybe one Wacky Wednesday a month is enough due to all the prep work it takes. Maybe one weekend can be scrapped from what needs done to just go camping. Maybe seeing the number of things on the calendar that feels too busy now is a good way for me to practice turning down invitations if things feel too busy in the future. 

I'm grateful to check in with myself. I'm grateful to recognize that even with understandable reasons, I can stop and redirect when I feel anxiety building. I'm grateful to laugh at what busy looks like now compared to a little over a year ago. I'm grateful to know that moving forward I will have the opportunity to make decisions from a more mindful place. I'm grateful for a wonderful visit with my mother-in-law and all our good chats. I'm grateful for my girls doing okay with the goodbyes this time. I'm grateful for all the beautiful people in my life that have birthdays this month. I'm grateful to just take some time to recenter today.

What plans do you have? Is your calendar full? How do you feel when you look at your calendar? What would you change about the events and plans on your calendar?

May today remind us that we are in control. May we take a moment to check in with ourselves and change course if needed. Have a beautiful day!

Tomorrow is Groundhog's Day and normally I would be rooting Punxsutawney Phil would not see a shadow so we could start Spring weather a little early. (Now I realize that this superstition is a little silly and often times it seems to be inaccurate, possibly due to all the flash cameras and film crews in his face, but it is a tradition all the same.) I cannot remember a time in my life when I was like, "woohoo I vote for shadow, let's keep Winter around six more weeks!" Nope. Well....until this year. 

Since the new year rolled in there seems to be more and more people ready to get back to pre-pandemic life. The bakery started putting their food back out in the community shelves for self-service. People are planning vacations at resorts and getting back to excursions with friends. Life seems to be picking up pace again, even as my family is still using the same caution we have used for the last ten months. Things seem to have shifted, possibly partly due to vaccines now starting to roll out.

While I desperately want to see my friends again, go on outings with my girls to popular places, and just be carefree again; I also have found this slower pace and extra family time to be really nice. Part of me is just not ready for that to end. Next Fall my daughter will be gone four half days a week. My little one will probably be gone one of those. At some point my husband will return to working outside the home. Things will eventually reach a new level of normal...and bustle that we haven't had in a long time. 

For once, I think I would like six more weeks of Winter. I would like six more weeks of family time and time going just a little slower than it does when the weather warms up. I would like six more weeks for those who can get vaccinated to get their shots, even as I know that will mean taking extra cautions for those like me who cannot. But then, maybe Phil isn't the one needing to face his shadow. Maybe the reality is this is an opportunity for me to face mine.

I'm grateful for traditions no matter how silly and out of sync they have become from the actual origins. I'm grateful for a reminder that nature has an innate knowing. I'm grateful to remember I also have this innate knowing if I am willing to listen and trust it. I'm grateful to see the irony in wanting six more weeks of winter at a time when most people are wanting to burst into spring. I'm grateful to recognize the deeper meaning and message that has for me and what shadows I need to confront for myself. I'm grateful for a vaccine that gives hope and can move us toward a more "normal" lifestyle again. I'm grateful for Phil putting up with the fame and the cameras. 

Are you ready to get back to the fast-paced life you had before the pandemic? Are you going to modify things going forward now that you have seen another way? Do you think Winter will stick around another six weeks? 

May we remember the world is our reflection. May we take the time to face our shadows and not let them dictate our perspective. Have a beautiful day!

Today has been one of those days where it feels like I am on the wrong side of the lion cage at the zoo. My children are in meltdown mode and the usual tactics to turn it around are just not working today. Luckily, there is always music to back me up and boost my own mood. 

I spent most the morning trying to control my own rising tension as I tried to play, give attention, give space, do anything to help fix the mood. When it was clear that wasn't enough I tried a dance party which usually turns it all around. Not today. 

Isn't it funny how we can try and try to "fix" a "problem" but when we turn to our own needs instead, things just clear up? When I finally reached my tipping point I walked over and turned on my favorite calming instrumental cd. I closed me eyes and just focused on me. It took another five minutes or so but suddenly everyone was calm and doing their own thing. 

I love music. I love the beautiful tool it can be for setting the mood. I love how it can calm me down or pump me up. I love how my children can respond to it too. And while today there were more elements at play that just needing some music, music was instrumental in clearing my energy to provide a better space for them to clear theirs. 

I'm grateful for music. I'm grateful for this cd. I'm grateful for the way my kids can find their own balance if their environment is supportive of it. I'm grateful for the reminder to not fix, but step back and allow. I'm grateful to take a deep breath and just let the music carry me. I'm grateful for the healing music brings.

What music do you use to help boost your energy? What do you listen to to help calm or release stress? Is it the same or different when others are around?

May today remind us to use the tools that work for us. May we find the music that is in tune with our soul. Have a beautiful day!