When the wheels of the mind get turning, sometimes I struggle to turn it back off. Tonight I found myself juggling four "plates" while simultaneously sorting through several mind puzzles at the same time. 

Between empathy overload and logistical chaos it was hard to stay present. Ok, let me be honest, there was no staying present. My mind was racing and in sync my anxiety kicked into high gear. 

I returned home to a list of demands that all needed instant attention and I said "I've got this." Did I? No. It was a good reminder for me to remember to ask for help when I need it. This lesson has always been a struggle for me so the reminder is nothing new.

The result of not reigning it all in was failure. I failed to stay present. I failed to ask for help. I failed to connect to my preschooler the way I wanted to before bed and instead only found more frustration and anxiety as she went to bed in tears.

It would be easy right now to go down the road of guilt and self-flogging (mentally). I will admit that I am great at both these things and partake more often than I would like to admit. Just last night my husband and I were discussing the idea of failure and my high standards for myself. It was a great conversation to lead up to today because it was a great reminder to give myself grace.

Failure is, ninety-nine percent of the time, in the eyes of the beholder and not a permanent crash. Most of the time we can shift the failure and turn ir back around at some point. In this case by my own awareness and taking the self-care steps needed to start tomorrow off better.

I'm grateful for the reminder of grace. I'm grateful to hold a high level of compassion and empathy. I'm grateful to recognize when I am letting those positive traits overpower me and start to take a negative toll. I'm grateful to love my children so much that I strive to do right by them and hold myself to high standards. I'm also grateful to know they do not hold me to those same standards and love me despite my perceived failures. I'm grateful to know I can juggle what needs juggled and that it is also ok to not juggle everything. I'm grateful to prioritize and take a step back. I'm grateful to have had so much time to play with my girls today even though it came at the expense of the house not getting cleaned. I'm grateful to get to kiss my girls goodnight.

What constitutes failure in your eyes? How do you reset and try again? How do you reframe?

​May today remind us we're human. May we give ourselves grace and move forward. Have a beautiful day!

It is no secret that I am an introvert. I enjoy spending time with people but prefer low key social activities with close friends. I love to travel and to see family as well. But I can find my energy taxed easier than I would sometimes like and I have to pull back in order to recharge.

This weekend we were fortunate enough to travel to see family and celebrate a special birthday. I am so happy we were able to do this and see family we don't see very often. It was a great celebration. I enjoyed lots of laughter and conversation. I got a wonderful, long evening walk full of Autumn leaves and deer. And I even got to play a couple rounds of a game I love but rarely get to enjoy these days. 

My kids did great with the trip, all things considered. There were a few "ahhhh" moments but mostly it was great. It was reassuring to know we can make more trips like this and get the girls used to travel while having fun family encounters.

The weekend was full of "ups" but with that, for me, comes some subsequent "downs". There were moments the energy and noise seemed to overcome me and even a few "pity party" moments when I wished I could be like "other" people. There was so physical energy depletion as a consequence of cramming a trip into such few hours and being the comfort source of my baby all night after she herself got too overwhelmed by it all. 

Returning home I finally allowed myself to feel the full crash. Hopefully a quiet evening followed by an extended night of sleep will help process and release the excess. But even as I say this the baby stirs on the monitor and I know the night may not be mine at all.

The "ups" and "downs" are nothing new for me. It is a good reminder for self-care and a good reminder to pay close attention to my energy and needs when traveling. It is also insightful to watch my children and be able to see their own reactions and needs in such different energies.

I'm grateful we went on this trip. I'm grateful to see family. I'm grateful for a beautiful evening walk. I'm grateful to recognize comparisons and judgments and work to counterbalance them. I'm grateful to know I am doing my best and that there is nothing "wrong" with me. I'm grateful for the reminder to take care of myself. I'm grateful for my family. I'm grateful to get to give these experiences to my girls and observe their reactions. I'm grateful for the "ups" and yes, even the "downs". 

What affects your energy levels? What things send you out of balance? How do you respond to correct and rebalance?

May today help us be aware of our energy. May we do the things we love while still taking care of ourselves. Hae a beautiful day!

Some weeks life just throws ridiculous curveballs and demands. The picture above is of a game called "I Can Do That!" In the game the player draws one card from each of three stacks and then tries to perform the challenge. Given that this weekend was full of birthday celebrations; I found this set of cards particularly appropriate for the representation of the week. 

I was so excited to get to have dinner with my girlfriends this weekend. The night of I found myself rushing like a mad woman to leave work early enough to come home to feed the baby (who is refusing to take bottles), then peel the three year old off my leg (crying that I was leaving again) to race down the road to meet my friends. During the drive I felt guilty for taking this time to myself and yet I returned a renewed person ready to face the night of two clinging babies with patience and grace.

At a three year old's birthday pool party I found myself walking the lazy river holding a sleeping three month old on my shoulder and my other arm looped around the waist of my three year old so she could pretend she was swimming it. And while there were moments that felt a little overwhelming, mostly I was feeling calm and proud as I navigated my own "river". 

I talk a lot about perspective and finding the good in things. But being overwhelmed is a legitimate feeling and I don't want anyone to think I am recommending ignoring the signs. When my cup runs so low that the demands feel too much, forget the I "should" find the positive in this and instead look for where I can give myself grace and self-care. 

I did not post at the end of last week. It wasn't that I couldn't have found things to be grateful for in the blessings around me; it was the overwhelm of the whole family being frazzled from the baby's screaming wail all week and wanting to be with them in support rather than wonder off to try to make a post. 

All last week there was a pull trying to uproot me. There were definitely tipping moments but overall I was so proud and grateful to stay grounded. I'm so happy I made the choice to be there for my family but also fill my own cup. 

I'm grateful for celebrations with friends. I'm grateful to commit to taking my daughters to enjoy their friend's party. I'm grateful for all the support and love I get from friends and family. I'm grateful for my awesome girlfriends that I couldn't live without. I'm grateful to fill my cup. I'm grateful for all the support my husband provided so I could accomplish that task. I'm grateful for my loving girls who want to be with me all the time. I'm grateful for moments of grace and truth. I'm grateful for perspective but I'm also grateful to be honest and take care of my needs.

What helps you stay grounded against the pull? What aspects of life have you trying to walk with a cake between your legs? (I really do enjoy this game though!) 

May today allow us to take the steps necessary and eat our cake too. (haha) May we find the positive in the situations we can and give ourself grace when we need to just take time to care for ourselves. Have a beautiful day!

Today started out on bumpy ground. Between frustration at dawdling to the emotions of watching my preschooler once again struggling with goodbyes at school drop off I already felt my energy pulling before it was even 8:30. By 9 a.m. I had picked up what I thought was the wrong lab request and completed the "off" energy by falling down the basement stairs. 

As I sat there feeling out my rolled ankle and rubbing my bruised knee I knew I needed to find a way to shift this energy funk fast. Tis the season for pumpkin symbolism so I decided I needed to decide right there what face I was going to carve into my jack-o-lantern today. I don't mean physically, I haven't even bought the pumpkins yet. I mean symbolically, as in how will I choose for my face to react to this day. 

While I do love the lopsided, jagged-mouth traditional look I decided my own reaction would be best served with a smile, a laugh, or at least a maniacal grin. Shortly after this decision my day turned around. The energy shifted in my favor and things started running more smoothly, or at least my interpretation was more positive. Did my preschooler have several more meltdowns? Yes. But I handled most all of them with grace and patience, I mean I am still human.

I'm grateful to recognize the need to set my intentions for something more positive. I'm grateful to clear the funk that was following me. I'm grateful for being young enough to bounce and to be okay after my tumble. I'm grateful for the ability to laugh. I'm grateful for my girls' smiles that brighten my day. I'm grateful to have patience and respond with love to my preschooler during her struggles. And I'm grateful to give myself grace for being human when I lose some of that ability. I'm grateful to be humble enough to apologize when it happens. And I'm grateful for forgiveness. I'm grateful to have had a good day and had a few chances to remember to slow down and just be in the moment.

How do you set an intention for your day? What symbolism speaks to you? 

May today remind us our intention and our perspective are very important to how our story is written. May we choose to carve happy jack-o-lanterns and write a story of love and gratitude. Have a beautiful day!

Today was one of those days where things just didn't go quite as planned. Ends didn't meet where they were supposed to, transitions didn't flow, and things seemed to be missing or not working at every other turn.

What do you do when your day is going this way? What special resource do you "turn on" to help you get through days like this?

For me, humor is what I need. I need to laugh to release some of the tension because most likely if I don't choose laughter there will be tears instead. My emotions tend to run high and a physical relief like laughter is a great way to keep things positive. 

Now, did I do this at every misstep today? Nope. There was some frustration, a few moments of near tears and lost patience but overall I did well at reminding myself to take deep breaths and even laugh a little. 

I'm grateful for some humor to save the energy of the day. I'm grateful for getting the bumps out early in the week so the rest the week can run more smoothly. I'm grateful to have found my wallet. I'm grateful to learn you can still check out the seventeen books your child picked out at the library even when your wallet is missing. I'm grateful the dishwasher started. I'm grateful for all the things that run and work without a second thought from me. I'm grateful for my husband's patience as we work through some bottle rebellion from our little one. I'm grateful for friends and family that I can count on to be there whether I need to vent, ask advice, or share some humor. I'm grateful to be so loved and so blessed. I'm grateful to crawl into bed at the end of the night and know all is ok.

So what do you do to diffuse a rough day? What coping strategies do you use and who do you reach out to for support?

May today supply humor without the frustration. May we find healthy, fun coping habits to guide us on the bumpier days. Have a beautiful day!

As I watch my daughters growing up so fast and I see the pages of our calendar flying by I cannot help but wish I could put on the breaks. Yet even as I wish that, I know it is in my power to do something about it.

I do not need to have our calendar so packed that we are always in a rush. I don't need to add that extra playdate or make it to library story time every week. We have our school and swim lessons commitments each week and there is nothing wrong with taking a couple days to just stay home. 

Time is not only determined by where we spend it but by our intentions. Today after preschool I told my daughter that her and her sister needed to take baths after lunch, before naps. Normally it would take a full hour to just eat lunch. So it was no surprise when my preschooler asked, "do we have time?" Of course, her hope was that nap would be skipped today but I told her we had time for both. 

The weird thing about setting this intention was not only did lunch go faster but we also made it to the nap-time routine early and got to read an extra book together. I said we had enough time. I didn't look at the clock or rush and prod us through each step. I just said it and moved forward. It was self-fulfilling. 

Now where else can I make this commitment? Where can I give awareness to making my time count? Somehow by giving this time intention I also find myself more present with the time I have. Perhaps that is felt by my girls too and also helps move us along.

I'm grateful for this gift of time. I'm grateful for how fluid the concept of time can be. I'm grateful to not feel rushed today but rather intentioned. I'm grateful to not waste time looking at the clock and instead trust that we had the time we needed. I'm grateful to "stop and smell the roses". I'm grateful to spend time with my girls. I'm grateful to get to watch them grow. And I'm grateful for a weekend coming up to spend with my family.

Where would you like to intentionally commit your time? What parts of your day need to slow down? Where can you use a little reconnection or relaxation?

May today allow us to play with time. May we experiment with how it looks to be more intentional with the time we have and may we spend it doing the things that bring us joy. Have a beautiful day!

Today was National Train Your Brain Day. I used to teach a workshop on this but I am at a cycle in my life right now where I am re-learning what I used to "know" in a different way. Hopefully some day I will get back to some level of teaching but right now I am the one in training.

The funny thing about Train Your Brain Day is that in reality we are training our brain every day. This particular day was set aside to remind us to train consciously. Each habit we are training for not only needs the 21 days to create a base "routine" but more like 60 days to make it an automated routine that doesn't require our conscious reminder to carry it out. On top of that, if it requires un-learning a previous habit it can take even longer. But whether we are choosing a conscious habit or not, we are training our brain each day.

Currently my efforts are on remembering to slow down. Whether it is my mind and thoughts, my to do list, or even just walking across a room slowing down seems to be key in keeping my stress level down. When I let "the balls" get rolling too fast it takes me longer to unwind at the end. It also leads to stress reactions to situation instead of calm responses. And so I train and even with training I need reminders from some of my closest friends when I start to step into the old routine again. 

I'm grateful for deep breaths. I'm grateful to use scuba imagery as well as breathing techniques to calm myself. I'm grateful for reminders from friends given with love. I'm grateful to make the effort to slow down. I'm grateful to take time to just sit today and for the help of my parents in accomplishing this task. I'm grateful to recognize when I am rushing and remind myself to just slow down. I'm grateful for how it feels when I am going slower. And I'm grateful to recognize each decision and each day is an opportunity to train my brain.

How are you training your brain? Is your day to day training in line with your long term goals?

May today remind us how powerful the mind can be. Help us break the habits that are not serving us and train our brain to choose a better way. Have a beautiful day!

As we enter into a new work week I can't help but have marriage on my mind. My husband and I were lucky to have carved out a small portion of one on one time this weekend despite multiple anti-nap shenanigans by our girls. Also this week marks my parents' anniversary, forty-one years. 

It was said so well in Princess Bride. "Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam, and wove, twue wove." It is said so well not because of the humor, though I do love that movie, but because of how it is said. Marriage is a blessed arrangement. It is hopefully a dream within a dream and true love. But ike the pronunciation, or perhaps just enunciation, it is not perfect.

Marriage, true marriage wasn't meant to be picture perfect. It wasn't meant to be the reflection of the crystal goblets and eating off the fine china in candle light with never a negative word said. It was meant to be spaghetti left on the chair and sat in, bonfires that sometimes get larger than planned, and renovations both of the home and of the relationship.

We weren't made to be rigidly one way for our whole life. Life shapes us and we shift and adapt in return. Marriage is like life. Things come our way and we each adapt in our own way. The beauty is being able to adapt our own way and still respect, love, and if we're lucky even understand our mate. Marriage is the ability to go through all that and still take each others' hand and say "what's next?" 

I'm grateful to witness the beauty of my parents' marriage. I'm grateful for all they have taught me as they navigated their marriage. I'm grateful to hold hope for my husband and I celebrating forty-one years of marriage even though we started much later. I'm grateful for Princess Bride and for this quote that is beautifully perfect in its imperfect delivery. I'm grateful to be walking my path with my soulmate and to make the commitment to each other even amongst the distractions of life. I'm grateful for our beautiful daughters and even their shenanigans. 

What does marriage look like to you? What is the most important aspect of your own view of marriage?

May we cherish the moments we have with the ones we love. May we come through each bump stronger and more in love. And may we renew our commitment each day. Have a beautiful day!

I was blessed to take a little trip this weekend with my family. It was our first trip out of town with our newest edition. We didn't go far, just three hours away to visit my mother-in-law. Yet in just two days, a couple hours from home, I found renewal. 

We were celebrating my daughter's birthday as well as my mother-in law's. We went out to dinner one night but the rest of the time my husband cooked his amazing meals for us. My mother-in-law went back and forth between helping him prepare food and helping me play with the girls. In return she received baby smiles and coos and preschooler love in the form of "will you read me another book?!" 

Somehow it felt more like my birthday. I got to sit and play with my preschooler as we imagined all kinds of things. My favorite was when she decided the whole room was a moon elevator! We had a lot of fun with that scenario. 

I also got to just spend time to sit on the floor with my baby and soak up her smiles and coos and really pay attention to her personality that is emerging. I feel like in the chaos of our everyday schedules she doesn't get the one-on-one time she deserves. (I do recognize that part of this is the unfair comparison to all the time I was able to just sit and stare at my first daughter...because she was my first and didn't have to share attention.) It really filled my heart to have this time to just be with her.

I'm beyond grateful to have made it out of town. I'm grateful for my mother-in-law's graciousness as allowing us to overtake her house for the weekend. I'm grateful for how well both girls handled the transition and being in new beds at night. I'm grateful to leave feeling renewed. I'm grateful to recognize the feeling of demands pulling at me now that I am back home so that I can take an honest look at what I can whittle away. I'm grateful to have a reminder of how calm and simple life can be. I'm grateful to look for ways to simplify our schedules so we can get more of these calm, bonding times here at home. I'm grateful for all my husband did to make this weekend go so smoothly. 

How do you recharge? How often do you feel yourself needing to recharge from your everyday life? How can you add more "recharge" moments into your daily practice so you don't have to "get away" from your life as often? This is definitely the question I will be pondering as I make some changes moving forward.

May today remind us to just sit and be in the moment whenever possible. May we consciously choose lifestyles that nourish our mind, body, and soul. Have a beautiful day! 

Today was a more challenging day than I prefer but not every day can be a walk in the park. Some days are a hike, some days a climb steep enough to need extra "gear", and other days are a slippery slide. We need this variety to serve as a reminder and to put those "walk in the park" days in perspective.

One benefit to the tough days is that at the end of the day I can still say I won. I may not be on on my feet, in fact I may be flat on my back; but I'm still here and that's enough. I can look at my two sleeping children and relish in the small miracle it is that they are both sleeping at the same time. I can take a breath and know there are many more of those left in me. I can accept the fall one day because I know there will be plenty of days of picking myself back up and climbing higher. 

I'm grateful to find a reminder in today's challenges that make me appreciate the "regular" days. I'm grateful to have the beauty of spending time with my girls. I'm grateful to take the time each Tuesday to have dinner with my parents. I'm grateful for their help after dinner with playing with the girls and giving me an extra minute to breathe. I'm grateful to recognize that when the wails of my baby have reached epic levels and duration we have crossed over into the zone that only sleep will cure. I'm grateful for the moment that sleep arrives...especially when I get to share in it.

What reminders do you find within the high and low days? What gives you strength on the days that are more challenging?

May today remind us we are built for getting back up. May we remember our strength even when we can't feel it. And may we bounce higher than we fall. Have a beautiful day!