Today was National Train Your Brain Day. I used to teach a workshop on this but I am at a cycle in my life right now where I am re-learning what I used to "know" in a different way. Hopefully some day I will get back to some level of teaching but right now I am the one in training.

The funny thing about Train Your Brain Day is that in reality we are training our brain every day. This particular day was set aside to remind us to train consciously. Each habit we are training for not only needs the 21 days to create a base "routine" but more like 60 days to make it an automated routine that doesn't require our conscious reminder to carry it out. On top of that, if it requires un-learning a previous habit it can take even longer. But whether we are choosing a conscious habit or not, we are training our brain each day.

Currently my efforts are on remembering to slow down. Whether it is my mind and thoughts, my to do list, or even just walking across a room slowing down seems to be key in keeping my stress level down. When I let "the balls" get rolling too fast it takes me longer to unwind at the end. It also leads to stress reactions to situation instead of calm responses. And so I train and even with training I need reminders from some of my closest friends when I start to step into the old routine again. 

I'm grateful for deep breaths. I'm grateful to use scuba imagery as well as breathing techniques to calm myself. I'm grateful for reminders from friends given with love. I'm grateful to make the effort to slow down. I'm grateful to take time to just sit today and for the help of my parents in accomplishing this task. I'm grateful to recognize when I am rushing and remind myself to just slow down. I'm grateful for how it feels when I am going slower. And I'm grateful to recognize each decision and each day is an opportunity to train my brain.

How are you training your brain? Is your day to day training in line with your long term goals?

May today remind us how powerful the mind can be. Help us break the habits that are not serving us and train our brain to choose a better way. Have a beautiful day!

As we enter into a new work week I can't help but have marriage on my mind. My husband and I were lucky to have carved out a small portion of one on one time this weekend despite multiple anti-nap shenanigans by our girls. Also this week marks my parents' anniversary, forty-one years. 

It was said so well in Princess Bride. "Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam, and wove, twue wove." It is said so well not because of the humor, though I do love that movie, but because of how it is said. Marriage is a blessed arrangement. It is hopefully a dream within a dream and true love. But ike the pronunciation, or perhaps just enunciation, it is not perfect.

Marriage, true marriage wasn't meant to be picture perfect. It wasn't meant to be the reflection of the crystal goblets and eating off the fine china in candle light with never a negative word said. It was meant to be spaghetti left on the chair and sat in, bonfires that sometimes get larger than planned, and renovations both of the home and of the relationship.

We weren't made to be rigidly one way for our whole life. Life shapes us and we shift and adapt in return. Marriage is like life. Things come our way and we each adapt in our own way. The beauty is being able to adapt our own way and still respect, love, and if we're lucky even understand our mate. Marriage is the ability to go through all that and still take each others' hand and say "what's next?" 

I'm grateful to witness the beauty of my parents' marriage. I'm grateful for all they have taught me as they navigated their marriage. I'm grateful to hold hope for my husband and I celebrating forty-one years of marriage even though we started much later. I'm grateful for Princess Bride and for this quote that is beautifully perfect in its imperfect delivery. I'm grateful to be walking my path with my soulmate and to make the commitment to each other even amongst the distractions of life. I'm grateful for our beautiful daughters and even their shenanigans. 

What does marriage look like to you? What is the most important aspect of your own view of marriage?

May we cherish the moments we have with the ones we love. May we come through each bump stronger and more in love. And may we renew our commitment each day. Have a beautiful day!

I was blessed to take a little trip this weekend with my family. It was our first trip out of town with our newest edition. We didn't go far, just three hours away to visit my mother-in-law. Yet in just two days, a couple hours from home, I found renewal. 

We were celebrating my daughter's birthday as well as my mother-in law's. We went out to dinner one night but the rest of the time my husband cooked his amazing meals for us. My mother-in-law went back and forth between helping him prepare food and helping me play with the girls. In return she received baby smiles and coos and preschooler love in the form of "will you read me another book?!" 

Somehow it felt more like my birthday. I got to sit and play with my preschooler as we imagined all kinds of things. My favorite was when she decided the whole room was a moon elevator! We had a lot of fun with that scenario. 

I also got to just spend time to sit on the floor with my baby and soak up her smiles and coos and really pay attention to her personality that is emerging. I feel like in the chaos of our everyday schedules she doesn't get the one-on-one time she deserves. (I do recognize that part of this is the unfair comparison to all the time I was able to just sit and stare at my first daughter...because she was my first and didn't have to share attention.) It really filled my heart to have this time to just be with her.

I'm beyond grateful to have made it out of town. I'm grateful for my mother-in-law's graciousness as allowing us to overtake her house for the weekend. I'm grateful for how well both girls handled the transition and being in new beds at night. I'm grateful to leave feeling renewed. I'm grateful to recognize the feeling of demands pulling at me now that I am back home so that I can take an honest look at what I can whittle away. I'm grateful to have a reminder of how calm and simple life can be. I'm grateful to look for ways to simplify our schedules so we can get more of these calm, bonding times here at home. I'm grateful for all my husband did to make this weekend go so smoothly. 

How do you recharge? How often do you feel yourself needing to recharge from your everyday life? How can you add more "recharge" moments into your daily practice so you don't have to "get away" from your life as often? This is definitely the question I will be pondering as I make some changes moving forward.

May today remind us to just sit and be in the moment whenever possible. May we consciously choose lifestyles that nourish our mind, body, and soul. Have a beautiful day! 

Today was a more challenging day than I prefer but not every day can be a walk in the park. Some days are a hike, some days a climb steep enough to need extra "gear", and other days are a slippery slide. We need this variety to serve as a reminder and to put those "walk in the park" days in perspective.

One benefit to the tough days is that at the end of the day I can still say I won. I may not be on on my feet, in fact I may be flat on my back; but I'm still here and that's enough. I can look at my two sleeping children and relish in the small miracle it is that they are both sleeping at the same time. I can take a breath and know there are many more of those left in me. I can accept the fall one day because I know there will be plenty of days of picking myself back up and climbing higher. 

I'm grateful to find a reminder in today's challenges that make me appreciate the "regular" days. I'm grateful to have the beauty of spending time with my girls. I'm grateful to take the time each Tuesday to have dinner with my parents. I'm grateful for their help after dinner with playing with the girls and giving me an extra minute to breathe. I'm grateful to recognize that when the wails of my baby have reached epic levels and duration we have crossed over into the zone that only sleep will cure. I'm grateful for the moment that sleep arrives...especially when I get to share in it.

What reminders do you find within the high and low days? What gives you strength on the days that are more challenging?

May today remind us we are built for getting back up. May we remember our strength even when we can't feel it. And may we bounce higher than we fall. Have a beautiful day!

There seems to be some kind of beacon that my energy sends out when I am about to meditate or in some way relax. The beacon travels out and calls to my children. It tells them they need to seek me out urgently and insistently.

I'm still trying to find a good time to meditate as we try to establish some sort of routine with a new baby. Today I made three attempts at meditating. All three were foiled within five minutes. All three attempts were made while the kids, in theory, were sleeping. At one point I checked over the monitor that both children were sound asleep. Neither had changed positions or made noise in nearly ten minutes. It seemed a safe bet they were out. I clicked play on the guided meditation I had chosen and the counter had not even reached two minutes when one was wailing for me and the other stirring. Seriously. 

Tomorrow is National Relaxation Day. Normally I would have planned some time to unwind, meditate, maybe even take a bubble bath. But currently I think the best "relaxation" gift I can give myself is letting go of any plan or attachment to getting a specific block of time to do this. Instead I will try to find relaxation in the little moments; the breathes between needs, the quiet of nursing one child while the other scampers off to choose the next book for us to read. 

In a month or two...or ten, we will have a routine again and I will find moments to fulfill this need. In the meantime I will find other ways to accommodate my self-care while letting go of attachment to how it looks. I will also be exploring how to mute this beacon that seems to alert my children when I try to grab a few minutes to meditate. 

I'm grateful for humor, even dry, to navigate these moments of frustration. I'm grateful to let go of the ideal of how meditation "should" look. I'm grateful to still have gotten a few minutes here and there to recenter. I'm grateful for my husband's help tonight as we continue to work out the messages our new addition is trying to communicate. I'm grateful to just sit and hold her and equally grateful to get out for a walk. I'm grateful for days like tomorrow that remind me to relax and I'm grateful to adjust my mindset to gain that outcome.

How do you like to relax? What are your biggest challenges in making time for self-care? How do you find balance?

May we find a breath of calm in the little moments. May there be enough of those to sustain us. And may we persist in finding ways to include relaxation in our day. Have a beautiful day!

I have this voice in my head that cheers me on and fills me with pride when I accomplish great things. I also have a voice that tells me when I have fallen short, what I have done wrong, and when it is not enough. I have the voice of my Grandpa telling me to go the natural route for a healthy life. And there are a dozen or more voices actually present in my life with opinions on what I should do in every aspect of life, especially with my children.

Sometimes the voices line up with the positive voice in my head. Other times the voices in my life trigger that critical inside dialog. But the trick is, whether the voices are outside or inside I still have control over what I choose to hear and how I interpret it. Most importantly, I hold the power to silence any of it from sticking. 

My baby girl has been facing some challenges. As a mom it rips my heart to pieces seeing her in pain. When presented with a plethora of choices it was easy to get sucked into everyone else's opinions. In the end I had to silence them to hear what my heart was telling me was right for my baby. And with the plan in place and small victories gracing us; I'm so glad I chose to quiet the voices.

I'm grateful for all the people who love us enough to weigh in. I'm grateful to be presented with so many options. I'm grateful for a pediatrician willing to discuss the options. I'm grateful for my husband who is my rock. I'm grateful for his support and agreement to the plan. I'm grateful for some progress and relief. I'm grateful to see my baby going back to a calmer demeanor. I'm grateful to just sit in the quiet space and let go og all the excess noise, even those of people I respect so much.

What do your internal voices say? What are the external voices? Which do you listen to on most days?

May we find strength and wisdom in the quiet. May we know no matter what tomorrow brings, we made the right choice for today.

It's that time again when summer break is winding down and the start of school is just around the corner. A practice run this morning bolstered my confidence in my ability to get myself and my two girls ready in time to get my daughter to preschool. The earlier morning resulted in complete meltdown in the afternoon, however, so luckily we still have nearly two weeks to adjust. 

While it made for a rough afternoon there is plenty to be grateful for and that is exactly where my focus needs to be. Given the resistance to nap and bedtime that I received from my lil lady, I'm going to need to hold firm to that reminder to kick off tomorrow too. 

I'm grateful for a playdate today. I'm grateful to change plans as needed to accommodate the needs of my girls. I'm grateful to have the strength to carry a diaper bag, infant in carrier, and flailing child to the car. I'm grateful to recognize overtired both in myself and my kids. I'm grateful to honestly say I did my best with patience and composure today, not in perfection but in these very human moments. I'm grateful for all the hugs and the sweet "sorry, Mommy" I received after the storm. And I'm grateful for lemonade and dark chocolate that sweeten days like today.

It's hard to believe school is just around the corner. It's hard to believe my baby is nearly a month old already! There are so many mixed emotions to sift through as we navigate these days. 

What changes are approaching for you? What emotions have been showing up in your life? What inspires your gratitude?

May today help us to be in the flow. May our awareness serve us well and our heart guide our responses. Have a beautiful day!

This morning I was attempting to leave the house with my two girls. We needed to be heading out the door in just a few minutes yet I could not get the baby interested enough in waking up to eat and the older was insisting she did NOT need to try and potty before we left despite her obvious potty stance. I felt the overwhelm creeping in as it became obvious I had no real power over either of these things. You can lead a horse to water...

It did not help that my anxiety over our outing was elevated by the fact that I did not know exactly where the place I was headed was located or that it was in the general area of downtown which I usually try to avoid. Rather than building with square blocks it felt like I was trying to stack an assortment of misshapen odds and ends while pretending a steady tower would result. My anxiety grew.

My older daughter asked me if I was sad or mad. This is a trick question because she has frequently told me that she thinks it is funny to see me upset. I told her I wasn't feeling sad or mad but was feeling stressed which felt a little like nervous; trying to use an emotion she would recognize. She gave me a big hug.

Once we were all in the car I thanked her for helping me get everything loaded up. I chose to listen to my calming music rather than the usual kid tunes which helped some more. But finding the location had my anxiety up again as I realized there was very little parking and it was all parallel.

Instead of allowing the anxiety to run wild I started talking to my older daughter. First I told her thank you again for being so helpful. Then I started her running with "what do you spy with your little eye?" There was a crane that went way way up high, so high Daddy could not even reach the top. There were arrows and lights and the buildings were rectangles. As we turned down a side street only to have to turn around because of construction she asked me what I was looking for with my little eye. I told her I was looking for a place to park. She asked where the parking lot was and I responded that we were looking for a spot on the street because wouldn't it be fun to park right by the door. (Nevermind the fact that there really wasn't a good parking lot anywhere I could see or I would have headed there in a heartbeat.) As I said this to my daughter a spot opened literally across the street from the front door. I love when manifesting is so obvious and beautiful and I felt my anxiety melt away and gratitude overflow.

I'm grateful for the outing to see a good friend today. I'm grateful to have gotten out of my comfort zone and been supported. I'm grateful for my daughter's sweet hugs. I'm grateful my baby girl was her laid back self for the outing. I'm grateful to be aware of my anxiety and try my best to not let it rule my responses. I'm grateful to manifest a parking spot so close to the door. I'm grateful to let gratitude flow. I'm grateful to remind myself it really can be as easy as A, B, C and the the "shape" of the blocks I use to build is completely up to me. 

What blocks are you using to create your day? What stories do you have about manifesting in the moment? 

May today remind us that we are energetic beings and being in the flow makes anything possible. May we feel the support of the universe as we create our day. Have a beautiful day!

It's never fun when you are excited to go do something special and then those plans get canceled. It is disappointing. What I am noticing is when my self-care, especially sleep, is lacking these disappointments feel much bigger.

Having a new little one means my bedtime moved a lot earlier. I go to bed when my girls do because I know I will be seeing one if not both multiple times through the night. There is no wind down time with my husband. I haven't even gotten my steps goal most days, let alone a whole yoga flow or workout. It is not ideal but it is a temporary state as my family and I adjust to our newest member.

Disappointments seem bigger. Demands seem heavier. My self-talk regresses as I feel myself falling short of the high bar I set for myself as a mother. And in all honesty I am checking myself with a bit of paranoia for signs of depression because I know that I have the ability to fake being ok. I've been there before and this time I'd prefer being honest with myself.

Tonight I struggled to make myself write. Following my sweet older daughter having a potty regression only to be pulled away without being able to be there for her because my newborn was inconsolably upset wanting fed, only to be the receiver of an exorcist size spit-up after a day of several disappointments... gratitude was not where my mind wanted to go.

For me, that is a white flag. You may be saying, don't you mean red flag? Sure, this is a warning too, but more so it is the reminder to surrender. I want control. I want to be on top of "it". I want to have all the answers. But I don't. I'm just here as one member of the game, navigating as best I can. And the only thing that I have control over is my perspective. So no, I didn't feel like writing about gratitude tonight...but I will because that is what I need. I need to adjust my perspective.

I'm grateful for a patient husband that is my rock when I feel like crumbling. I'm grateful for the tiny face sound asleep in my arms. I'm grateful for the fear of putting her down only to see another geyser erupt from her because it is that same fear that inspires me to hold her and cherish this moment that is so fleeting. I'm grateful for my older daughter's verbal skills so I can have a pretty clear picture of her struggles as she communicates her need to be the baby and have her place in our hearts reassured. I'm grateful to know that even as overwhelming as some parts of these days can be, it will pass all too quickly as my babies grow fast. I'm grateful to stop and make myself write but also make myself truly breathe into the gratitude I write. I'm grateful to surrender to gratitude and reclaim my perspective.

How are you today, in honesty? What does your awareness tell you? Is there a gap between what you know will help you be and feel your best versus what you are doing?

May today support honesty in all its vulnerability and progress. May we take the steps necessary to move us in the best direction. Have a beautiful day!

Skin is an amazing organ. every day it does the usual protecting, self-healing, and allowing us to feel a variety of sensations without much thought or appreciation from us. But it also helps regulate hormones and is believed to promote brain development when skin to skin with your newborn. 

I'm no nudist but I'm also not afraid of spending some time naked in my own home. And there is nothing more beautiful to me than watching my naked infant asleep on my bare chest.

For those who have followed this blog or know me personally and have witnessed my wonder-lust, this says a lot. For all the sunset photos you've seen, there are a hundred more of having to pull over on my way home because the way the clouds or sun look above the city. So you can only imagine the number of photos I have of my children, my heart and joy. 

I have photos of faces, feet, teeny hands and so on yet skin in and of itself is not very photogenic. The beauty is intrinsic in the feelings it gives. It is a great example of finding and FEELING the joy from within. In this way it is much like gratitude. Gratitude is not for the show of it. When it is for show it loses its power. Gratitude is all about the feeling. It is about looking in and finding "enough" in what is already around you. It protects us from some of the daily ups and downs and provides healing when the day does prove sharper than we expected.

We do not wake in the morning and remember to put on our skin. And with a solid gratitude practice we hopefully require little to no reminder to strap on some gratitude to start the day.

I'm grateful. I'm grateful to have stumbled upon a gratitude practice nearly ten years ago. I'm grateful for the blessing of wonder-lust. I'm grateful to cherish this quality and honor the joy its beauty gives me. I'm grateful for my two beautiful girls. I'm grateful for the amazing organ that covers my body. I'm grateful for all the sensations skin gives me. I'm grateful to share skin to skin contact with my newborn. I'm grateful to know it is healing and bonding time for both of us. 

Take a moment to just listen to all the messages of your skin in this moment. What is it telling you? When was the last time you got skin to skin contact in a loving, completely innocent way? How did it feel?

May today help to remind us the many things we may be taking for granted. May we find the connections we need and may gratitude pave our journey. Have a beautiful day!