I walked outside to check the garden just before lunch today and it was beautiful out! It's been nineties with high humidity lately so I was expecting it to feel sticky. Instead it was overcast with a breeze and according to my watch had only reached the seventies.

The garden, and I use the term loosely as I refer to a bunch of pots and buckets with vegetables, was doing well after last night's rain. Even though we didn't need to stay out to water the garden, my girls and I stayed out playing on the driveway. We stacked rocks, played with crunchy leaves, explored buds getting ready to flower, and the baby enjoyed a good game of throwing a pine cone and then chasing it across the driveway. 

When it was time to go in and get lunch prepared I realized I was just as reluctant as my girls to head inside. "Just five more minutes," I could hear inside my heart. Rather than procrastinate and have overtired and hungry kids at lunch, I changed our plans. A picnic outside was exactly what we needed!

The more I get outside the better I feel. It helps me ground and stay centered. It helps me shake off the fears that creep in with the bombardment of negative news lately. It helps me just be, breathing deeply and relaxing. 

I'm grateful for the cooler, cloudy weather. I'm grateful for the rain last night that nourished my plants. I'm grateful for the fun we had outside without the need to drag out toys. I'm grateful to just sit and enjoy. I'm grateful for the laugh I got watching the baby entertain herself with just a pinecone. I'm grateful for my older daughter's curiosity and love of leaves and flowers and all things nature. I'm grateful that our picnic was almost entirely bug free. I'm grateful my husband even came out to join us for a few minutes. 

When was the last time you had a picnic? When was the last time you got out and interacted with nature?

​May today remind us the healing power of being out in nature. May we find simple joys in something as small as a pinecone or as large as the shape-shifting clouds. Have a beautiful day!

I have been so focused on everything that is going on and the short term. It was nice to take a break today and look a little further into the future. It was nice to construct some dreams and take steps to making them reality.

I read a study several years ago that said it was good for your mental health to plan a trip. The study said people who were planning a trip and looking forward to going somewhere were happier and mentally healthier. The study also found that people were actually happier while planning the trip than actually taking it.

It makes sense. There is all the excitement and anticipation in planning and none of the "plot twists" and hiccups that actually going may entail. For the last several years I have held on to this idea and when I am feeling low I will plan a trip.

After being cooped up at home for the majority of the last four months, however, I am seeing the very real need to physically go somewhere. Even if there are hiccups and plot twists and tantrums from two kiddos who haven't been socialized well for a third of a year; we still need a change of scenery. 

I'm grateful to plan. I'm grateful for the uplift just this tiny step makes in my mood. I'm grateful to take it a step farther and take steps toward getting a camper for our family. I'm grateful to see nature calling and a clear path to achieving our goals in this category. I'm grateful for the excitement our preschooler has over the idea too. I'm grateful for all the things that fell into place for this to be possible. I'm grateful to have a solution for getting out in this crazy time.

What are your dreams? How are you working toward them today? If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?

​May today remind us to dream. May we take steps each day to reach the dreams that will fulfill our hearts. Have a beautiful day!

There has been a lot going on in the world lately. While we try to monitor what our preschooler hears and sees we also have to be honest.

She is one of those kiddos whose ears are always on even if they are half a house away. The combination of being an astute observer and listener AND being three, almost four years old means lots of questions. And the questions are often harder than I expected to be dealing with at this age. 

Luckily for me, she loves books! Our library has really been amazing through all this to keep us supplied with reading materials one way or another. Today we picked up another stack of books we had requested. While there are not kids books out yet specifically about Covid, there are plenty about germs and cleanliness. Mostly we have been through those and they proved helpful.

Today's stack was more books about celebrating people's differences, coping with jealousy when it is a sibling's special day, and sharing. Of course, there were also books about other interests like Amelia Bedelia, Dora, creepy crawly things, and chocolate. It is important to be well rounded, after all.

While the books don't cover the specific questions my daughter asks; it gives us a place to start. It helps me find the words to help her understand. It gives me references to use when she asks questions too. "Great question, that is kind of like when (insert book reference)." It seems to help her to know that other people (or crabs, or fictional creatures) have been through this too.

As an added bonus, there is nothing quite as cherished as my girls snuggling on my lap while I read books. It reminds me of reading with my mom. Plus on days like today after a night of each girl waking multiple times, we all need a calm reading day. 

I'm grateful for my little story lovers. I'm grateful to pass on my love of books. I'm grateful to be that mom that will do the different voices and silliness to get into character. I'm grateful for my preschooler's questions that push me to dig deeper myself so I can find the right words. I'm beyond grateful to our amazing library system and staff for all their help. I'm grateful for cuddly moments even in the midst of hard questions.

What do you do to understand and gain insights on everything going on today? Do you use the library? Do you prefer another source of information? 

May today remind us that knowledge is power. May we remember we are not alone even as we navigate a pandemic that is new to us. May we rely on those who came before us and focus on helping the next generation be a generation of love. Have a beautiful day!

Yesterday started off lovely as my husband and I took the girls out to a walking trail and enjoyed some nature time. There were other people out but we purposely chose a path a little harder to get to and it paid off even for a beautiful Saturday. We had plenty of space to wander along.

As we finished up at the park we decided to grab some lunch on the way home. Up until this point we have only picked up food and taken it home but the place we wanted had a packed drive thru and no one at any of the outdoor tables. My husband went in to order as I cleaned off a table and got the girls and myself situated. 

Overall it was a fine experience and gave the girls a change of scenery that they haven't had much of for months. One other group came out to the tables and my preschooler asked about her own mask because the other group had theirs. I told her we had forgotten them in my car when we took her dad's car out but it would be okay since we were just going to eat and go and we were outside away from others. 

Unfortunately the woman from the other table felt the need to respond to this with a rebuke directed to me. I do not like confrontation and had no response so I just chose to keep my attention on my children. It saddens me though to see all the hostility in the world right now. 

Between fears and pandemic, racism and violence, and now masks becoming a politically heated topic I feel like we are living on a volcano that is going to blow any moment. As an empath it is painful and draining. My energy has become an ocean of waves and I find myself trying to bring it back into balance while still meeting my family's needs and caring for my clients. 

So what do we do when the ocean is calmer than the land? How do we find our common humanity and kindness for each other when the world seems split into so many fractions? Where do we start?

We start with ourselves. We start from the heart. We take the next steps from a place of compassion and grace for where other people are coming from. And we do our part to put love back into this wounded world.

I'm grateful to see bigger things at play as mother nature moves her pawns. I'm grateful to know that to "win" doesn't mean someone else has to lose. I'm grateful to believe we can use these challenges to grow and change Together. I'm grateful to believe. I'm grateful to have faith that humanity and love can come out on top. I'm grateful to be vigilant of my own energy as I strive daily (and sometimes hourly) to find balance in the waves. I'm grateful to know my strength and know I can survive this. I'm grateful to give love.

How will you make a difference for the better? How can you give LOVE to the world no matter where they stand? How can we work together to heal this?

May today remind us we are stronger together. May we stand together to raise us all up to new levels of understanding and compassion. May we find equality, love, and healing. Have a beautiful day!

In running the 200 meter dash is a sprint but 200 meters of a mile is only a small fraction. Today my oldest daughter turned 200 weeks old. I realize this is a weird milestone that most people would not keep track of but when she was an infant we did weekly photos with her stuffed penguin, Waddles. Now we do weekly photos with her little sister and her sister's stuffed whale, Whalen. 

My oldest child is a great big sister but, understandably, there is a heavy dose of jealousy that crops up from time to time. Weekly photos is one of those times and while my preschooler does a great job of helping get her little sister to smile and we do take her picture sometimes too; I decided a couple months ago to calculate up when the next big "weekly" milestone for my oldest would be. 200 weeks old seems like a lot and yet my daughter is still about eight weeks away from turning four. 

Some weeks have gone fast and some have gone painfully slow. It has been 200 weeks of crash course on motherhood and while some weeks feel like I'm failing, ultimately she is alive and thriving so I'm at least "passing" the course.  Two hundred weeks may feel long in the thick of no sleep and "how do I handle..." but really it is just a small fraction of the long life I hope we have ahead of us together. 

She really is one amazing kid. She amazes me every day by her intelligence, creativity, and strong-will. She has a strength I envy and a mind to back it. We've had bumpy moments as I have grown and learned what she needs in a mom but I could not be more proud of the person I can see her becoming. I just hope I have another 200 weeks or more of snuggles and cuddly book reading together before she decides I am not as cool as I think I am.

I'm grateful for this child that teaches me so much every day. I'm grateful for all her patience as I grow as a mom. I'm grateful for all the lessons I've "passed". I'm grateful for 200 weeks with one of the most amazing girls I know. I'm grateful for these weird milestones and to celebrate her. I'm grateful for pictures to remind me of these special moments. I'm grateful to make sure she knows just how important and special she is, no matter how many siblings or other people come into our lives. I'm grateful for the blessing of my beautiful rainbow baby and to get to watch her grow.

Do you remember where you were 200 weeks ago? What were your goals? What growth have you made? 

May today remind us that what seems like a marathon may be a compilation of many beautiful sprints. May we see that what seems like an exhausting sprint may be just one beautiful moment of a bigger storyline. Either way, may we cherish the moments. Have a beautiful day!

Since things began reopening in mid-May, exercising has been non-existent in my routine. On occasion I have done a little yoga to get my mind back on track but I have not had a good aerobic or muscle building kind of workout.

Yesterday I woke up early and snuck downstairs. I worked out hard, pushing myself farther than I normally would without a trainer watching. My workout was cut short, which is typical no matter when I try to squeeze it in, by one of my kids waking up crying for me. At the time I felt disappointed because I didn't get the satisfaction of finishing the workout I had in my head.

Today, however, I am reminded how important it is to work my way back up to where I was over a month ago. Wow, I am sore! Ha! But it is a glorious feeling to feel my muscles sore and talking to me. It is great to feel that encouragement to get back in shape and commit to making exercise part of my weekly routine. 

I'm grateful to feel sore. I'm grateful for the push I felt yesterday to drive myself harder. I'm grateful to have the interruption so I can still move today. I'm grateful to commit to pushing myself each day and getting my exercise regimen back in place. I'm grateful to feel great after just a couple workouts. I'm grateful to feel the energy burst that working out gives me too.

When did you last workout? What is your favorite form of exercise? Did you know it boosts the mood and cognitive function by getting your body moving?

May today dissolve our excuses and get us moving. May we find the type of exercise we enjoy and stick with it. Have a beautiful day!

Sometimes we just need a little extra light, whether it be shined on a situation or literally. Today I got both. 

My husband had the day off and took time to cut down a big limb that was touching our bathroom window. It was a pretty major limb so just in making this one cut, light poured into our backyard. It was beautiful! We love the shade from all our big trees but it will be nice to grow grass a little easier too.

I also got lots of "light shining" moments from my preschooler today. She teaches me every day how to be a better mom. Today's topic: jealousy. 

She really struggles with jealousy now that her sister is big enough to get around and demand attention of her own. The lack of social time with her own friends doesn't help either. Yet she begs for another baby brother or sister. 

We talked about how her sister will one day be a big three year old like she is now and she will be an even bigger kid and maybe there would be a baby. I asked her if she thought her sister would be jealous of the new baby. She said yes, so I asked what we could do to help her feel better. My preschooler said, "well I will protect the baby from her when she is feeling mad and you will just put her in timeout and play with her toys." 

Cue sad mommy moment as I searched my mind for a response. Rather than explaining that timeouts were a last resort when someone isn't being safe, I asked my preschooler if there was a better way we could work with her sister to help her feel better.

She said, "well I guess we could just hug her. But mostly she will just be mad all the time." I asked if that was how she felt and of course it is. I agreed that we have both been feeling pretty frustrated lately. I told her I don't like timeout either but I don't know what to do if she is not being safe with her anger. We brainstormed a few ideas and have been testing them out with little success but at least it is a place to start. At least it shed light on how it looks from her perspective so we can find a better way.  

Light shining down doesn't instantly make grass grow. It doesn't instantly solve the problem. But it does allow for the opportunity for that growth and change. 

I'm grateful for the opportunity. I'm grateful to keep trying. I'm grateful to work each day to be the best mom I can be during this very emotional time for my preschooler. I'm grateful to have a wealth of resources at my fingertips. I'm grateful for how articulate my child is so we can work together to build a positive relationship. I'm grateful for some extra light on the yard. I'm grateful for all my husband's hard work.

What areas of your life could use a little extra light? What helps you see a different perspective?

​May today open our ears to other voices. May we allow the light to bring new growth. Have a beautiful day!

I've gotten in the habit of taking the reigns on my preschool-age daughter's schedule. To some extent it is necessary but I have noticed myself getting overly attached to doing everything on my schedule. In reality, most of these things can be a little more fluid. 

As you may have guessed if you have ever been around a three year old, she hasn't been taking it well. She really likes making her own decisions and having control. Toddler level options are not enough to appease my precocious child.

It will take some effort and practice getting back to a balance. Today offered several options to practice. I did not succeed at all of them but it was good practice all the same. 

During her sister's nap times she gets some special one on one time with me. The first nap is set aside for art and sensory things to do together. Partly this is because it is when we were doing some preschool stuff during the Spring and that translated to art or sensory play. The second nap is for Barbies, imaginative play, or on occasion a book or reading game on my kindle.

Anyway, the first nap rolled around and my daughter wanted to do a puzzle... a Kitty puzzle. Well we do not own a kitty puzzle so I suggested we make one. I got out some construction paper and we started talking about what shapes we would need to make a cat. I started drawing the shapes and she volunteered to cut them out for me. Perfect! 

Thirty minutes later we had shapes for a cat, dog, person and doghouse. She decided it would be better to Glue the pieces on a page together so her baby sister couldn't mess them up or eat them. Luckily, I have a whole roll of paper just for such purposes so we got that out. Then, of course, the picture needed some grass and crayon accents. It was a lot of fun watching the project grow and emerge. It was nice to just sit back and say "okay, let's do that!" 

Now as I hold on to that feeling of how nice it felt to release the control and just go with the flow, hopefully I can remember to let go of more things. I can use it as my guide to remember to follow rather than lead. And most importantly give my daughter back some of her control and independence that she has well earned.

I'm grateful for the reminder to let go. I'm grateful for how much fun we had creating together. I'm grateful to see how awesome my daughter's cutting skills have gotten as she cut out more and more complex shapes. I'm grateful for her own pride and joy as she watched her ideas manifest. I'm grateful to recognize the places I still have room to grow and do my best. I'm grateful for a child that is such a great teacher as I grow as a parent. 

Where does your life improve from letting go and letting someone else lead? Where does your life need a little more of you in charge?

May we find the balance that suits each of us. May we remember growth is part of life and be willing to out in the work to make change. Have a beautiful day!

This weekend brought the Summer Solstice and Father's Day to celebrate. The weather even gave a slight reprieve in temperatures which made it a great time to test out the new tent!

It marked the first Father's Day as a family of four. Our girls are so blessed to have a dad that is active and present with them each day. He plays with them, teaches them so much, and cooks amazing food for them while I am at work in the evenings. I could not have asked for a better husband and father to our girls.

This was also our youngest's first campout. Hard to believe she is nearly one and this is the first time we have been camping with her, but it has been a strange year. She really took it well. There were several middle of the night searches as she tried to place where she was and where I was in the tent but overall she did great. 

We got to spend the majority of our time outside this weekend. The rain held off and gave us pleasant weather. We played some yard games and let the girls splash in the little plastic pool. All of this was made possible by the ability to camp in my parents' awesome yard, which added the bonus of getting to celebrate Father's Day all weekend with my dad too. 

My dad is the most generous, caring, and giving man I have ever known. He is quick to help someone in need and slow to judge. I strive to be more like him and I'm so blessed and honored to be his daughter.

I'm grateful for an amazing weekend. I'm grateful for my amazing dad who always goes above and beyond for me. I'm grateful for my husband who is the best dad to our girls. I'm grateful for all he does each and every day. I'm grateful for time outside to celebrate the solstice. I'm grateful to camp under the stars and watch the abundance of fireflies twinkling bright. I'm grateful my girls enjoy camping. I'm grateful to fill my soul in nature. I'm grateful for my parents' generosity in making it all possible and sharing their yard and time. I'm even grateful for the Whippoorwill singing through the night and the Rooster who rang the morning alarm.

How did you celebrate this weekend? When was the last time you were able to get out and connect in nature? When was the last time you were able to sleep seeing the stars?

May we take time to reconnect. May we take time to honor the amazing dads in our lives. Happy Father's Day! Happy Summer Solstice! Have a beautiful day!

Today was a challenging day, mostly because I got less than three hours of sleep last night. Teething is a rough time for the whole family and, while we banded together pretty well today, it was clear we were all lacking sleep.

My husband and I powered through as parents do; making an extra effort to consciously respond patiently and with understanding as the kids melted down time after time after time. When bedtime arrived our routine was thrown off by some damage being caused to our property while we were gone this evening. While my husband dealt with that I took on both girls' bedtime routines, praying for a quick easy time since they were both tired. There were a few hiccups and meltdowns. The baby stuck it out for nearly an hour of wailing but has finally drifted off, at least for the time being.

It is hard to drag my mind through the process of finding the positive side when I truly just want to go to sleep. But what comes to mind is last night's events. The baby screamed for nearly 3 and a half hours straight with nothing helping. I was mentally and emotionally ravaged and felt completely shattered. My husband held me together in a hug for nearly thirty minutes when our daughter finally went to sleep. The visual that came to mind was that of a chrysalis hugging a caterpillar as it morphs into a butterfly.

As I lay in bed after having my own meltdown and "cocooning" I focused on these questions. What do I want to fall away and what do I want to emerge? This was an opportunity. It was a challenge designed to make room for growth. So how will I choose to grow and emerge?

The answers are not simple. They are not going to just happen overnight. But in changing my focus from where I had "fallen short" in my mind to where I could grow, I can begin to let some light into the chrysalis and start my transformation to emerge.

I'm so grateful for my husband. He truly is my rock. I'm grateful he can be the shore that catches me as I crash in. I'm grateful to let the tears fall and accept responsibility and also forgiveness. I'm grateful to be a pretty good mom even as I see all the ways I need to work on myself. I'm grateful for the opportunities for me to grow that come to me through my beautiful children. I'm grateful to try to stay in this place of grace as I focus on the changes I want to make.

What challenges and opportunities for growth are presenting themselves to you? Who has your back? How do you make room for growth?

May today remind us there is no limit of times we get to re-emerge and grow. May we see the opportunities life gives us and make the changes we want to see. Have a beautiful day!