I really enjoy knowing. I enjoy having answers and a plan and a plan b. It's comforting even if misleading. It makes me feel like I am in control of at least some things.

In reality there is a lot I don't know. There is more I don't know that I even know I don't know because it hasn't even hit my radar yet. It is not just relegated to topics I haven't studied like Portuguese or heart surgery. 

Every day there are things I don't know. I give my best guess. I try my best solution. It's all we can do, right? 

What if that isn't true? What if our best option is to simply witness and wait? What if the answer is coming in its own time if we sat still long enough to hear it?

I do not know if my dog will recover from another round of pneumonia. All I know is that we are trying and beyond that all I can do is wait. I do not know what has my little one so completely out of character the last couple days. I can keep guessing and finding out I'm wrong again, or I could just witness it and be there for her as we wait for the answer. I do not know what is going through my oldest daughter's head. But maybe if I wait and just witness she may share some of it with me when she is ready. 

I don't know. I really, truly do not know. But what if I just witness the discomfort of not knowing until it maybe isn't so uncomfortable? 

I'm grateful to be taking more time lately to just sit and let my mind wander. I'm grateful for all I know. I'm grateful for the things I don't know that can help me grow. I'm grateful for patience and practice building more. I'm grateful to slow down and just witness with a little less focus on solving. I'm grateful for a little quiet time.

May today remind us we aren't supposed to have all the answers. May we find acceptance and maybe even some ease in not knowing. Have a beautiful day!

You know how some weeks just seem to have a common theme. Well this week seems to be all about dividing, divvying, and allotment. It is important to note that "fair" is not part of that theme.

To some extent this is the theme of parenthood in general and with two young kids I am definitely in the throws of parenthood. Yet the theme has also been playing out in work, chores, and just time management in general.

How will I divide my time to get things done? How much time can I give to each child individually and still get XYZ done? Time is a big element to the theme of dividing this week. Divide. Divvy. Allot.

How much laundry can I cram in this load so I only have to divide the laundry in two not three loads? How will that change the division of time so I can add my work laundry in tonight too? Divide. Re-divide. Divvy and allot.

Which accounts do I need the money in? How will I divide it up so the the bills get pulled from the correct accounts with the correct amount of money? Divide. Divvy. Allot. 

Who got their books read and how many? Make sure the other gets the equivalent. Who got a snack and who needs one? How much time can we spend eating and still get to school or work on time? Divide. Divvy. Allot. Time to go!

There is enough for all of it. There is enough to go around whether it be snacks or money or time. The question is how will we choose to spend it, use it, divide it. And all the while my mind says, with all this dividing I think I could use some apple pie.

I'm grateful to see abundance in each divide. I'm grateful to know there is enough. I'm grateful to be pretty good at managing both time and money. I'm grateful to have time for my kids. I'm grateful for time to myself as well. I'm grateful for all the settings on the washer that can be tinkered with to adjust how long a load will take. I'm grateful for all the modern conveniences like washers, dryers, dishwashers, and so much more that allow me to have more time to focus on other things. I'm grateful Autumn is nearing and with it, more opportunities for pie!

How is your "pie" being divided today? Is there enough to go around?

May today be a celebration of abundance. May we divide in ways that support and inspire gratitude. Have a beautiful day!

Today seems to be calling me to slow down and listen. It is time to push the pause button even as my mind says, "but it's only Tuesday and there is so much we need to get done!" My body is telling me the opposite, rest. And my kids seem to be more in sync with my body, calling for more attention and more cuddles. 

I will pause. Thankfully there are several things I can look over and cross off my to do list while still just sitting. I will also take some time to truly just relax because I'm not defusing bombs; most things on my to do list will be perfectly content there until tomorrow.

I'm grateful to listen to my body. I'm grateful to listen to my kids. I'm grateful to remember that even a couple weeks in we are all still adjusting to this new schedule of school. I'm grateful for salads. I'm grateful for water. I'm grateful to just sit and be, both with myself and with my kids. 

How often do you pause? What is your favorite way to unwind?

May today be just the right speed for what we need. And when it gets moving too fast, may we always remember the power of pausing. Have a beautiful day!

There is a lot going on in the world right now and a lot going on right here in our own backyard. A lot of things seem to be topsy-turvy and the division of beliefs around what we "should" be doing seems to be growing. 

As an energy-sensitive adult it takes diligence in remembering to clear and center. Then I watch my young children who have definitely been affected by the pandemic as well and yet they roll along. Part of me wonders if it is because they are so young that they can adapt to all the upheaval. 

I spoke to a teacher friend of mine. She said this year has been exhausting and harder than any year she has ever taught before. It isn't the students. The students are more than happy to do whatever is asked so they can continue to come to school and see their friends. It is the parents that berate her day in and day out for things out of her control. 

Kids are resilient. Teens are able to find ways to continue their education whether that be online or in-person. They are willing to do what is necessary to move forward. And thank goodness for that! They will be the ones truly having to make major changes and sacrifices to undo all the harm our planet has sustained. They will be the ones who will find ways to make peace no matter what the other side believes because they will know that we are more than just our feelings in the moment. They will know that pandemics end and things move on. 

It is us adults that have some work to do it seems. We can learn a lot from listening to our kids. We can shift a lot from modeling ourselves after them. We can find safe ways to let our emotions out without unleashing them on people just doing their jobs. We can build the resilience with which our children seem to be born. 

And yet we do it for them. We need to make this shift to resilience not just for our own health and sanity but for our children. We need to give them that security in knowing it will be okay. We will get through this pandemic. Any liberties we feel were taken can be argued when we are back to a stable, post-pandemic place. We can have each others' backs no matter what each of us believes. We can choose respect. We can choose hope and that hope will give us the resilience we need.

I'm grateful to witness the resilience in my children every day. I'm grateful to make a conscious effort to center and stay grounded. I'm grateful to seek balance. I'm grateful to wear a mask when it is needed and I'm grateful to know I have a voice when that need fades. I'm grateful for every parent that tries to do what is best for their kids and even more grateful for parents who witness the beauty and strength their own kids can teach them. I'm grateful for everyone who is choosing to use this time to come together in love and respect. 

In what ways are you resilient? Which areas have been a struggle during this pandemic? How do you take time to honor your feelings? How do you take time to honor and respect others'? 

May we be the pillar for our children while being a student of their wisdom in resilience. Have a beautiful day! ​

When it comes to love, most of us have some wounds. Some wounds come from love lost, others come from love never found, and some come from something else posing as love in the most hurtful ways. 

It is easy to understand how walls can be built up. Protection may feel necessary. But the tricky thing about love is that it is best felt by leaning in, not away. 

Last night I had a scare. Everything ended up fine but during that time of not knowing I felt shaken deep in my heart. Yet when everything turned out fine, I found my fear replaced with anger. I was not leaning in. I was walling myself up. 

I don't judge my reaction. I know where it is based and what was stirred up that I needed to process. But pulling myself back from it and observing reminded me why I was scared in the first place. The fear would not have been so deep without deep love and so the anger dissipated and the tears fell, washing the rest away. 

Anger is often rooted in fear. Fear can be caused by so many things and yet two things seem to help fear the most; faith and love. Both of these require leaning in. 

I'm grateful to pause and observe. I'm grateful to let the tears fall. I'm grateful to allow my body and mind its process without judgment. I'm grateful to let the anger go. I'm grateful to lean in. I'm grateful to find loving arms waiting when I lean. I'm grateful to continue to work on this beautiful process of learning to lean in.

How do you respond to fear or loss? When do you lean in?

May we always hold on to faith, in whatever form that takes for you. May we remember to lean in to love. Have a beautiful day!

When water flows over a stone it slowly smooths and carves it. It isn't an overnight event. It is something that happens over time. This is what I keep reminding myself as my family navigates a whole new schedule and new routines. 

I love mixing things up but I also love having a baseline routine. Certain times set aside for work, nap, and play help me to be present where I am needed. The routine is still new and in limbo as we try different things to see what helps us all transition most smoothly. But for now it still feels jumbled and a little chaotic.

This is the water from the storm. It is rushing and flowing any which way it can go to keep moving forward. 

Just like the storm water returns to a slow stream, so will my life return to smoother days. Those smoother days will slowly begin to carve a new routine. It will get comfortable.

Sure, there will still be times of storm and rushing water. There will be times the water changes course and has to begin again in smoothing a new path. This is all part of life and I welcome it.

For now I will let it flow in all its chaotic rush. I will take deep breaths and observe. I will watch for places the water seems to flow the smoothest and the routine seems to be working. And I will follow its lead. 

I'm grateful to just pause and focus on nature. I'm grateful to witness the rush feeling and observe it as if it was a river flowing past. I'm grateful to know the waters will smooth and slow again soon. I'm grateful to let it flow as it needs as my whole family adjusts to all the new. I'm grateful to be as calm and steady as possible for my kids in these times of change. I'm grateful to learn from them the art of rolling with it.

Which stage of life is your water flow? Is it rushing and changing? Is it smooth and steady? What visuals do you picture to help yourself stay steady even when life is shifting?

May we be steady as the rock and flowing as the water. May we find comfort in being the observer while still having both feet in the game. Have a beautiful day!

Today I find myself caught between it being the first day of the school/work week and it really being the second day of the week with twice as much to get done. Thankfully it is early in the year so we are still rising early and able to take plenty of time getting ready. A slow, chaos-free morning really helps set the tone for the day.

The second week of school kicked off smoothly. I carved out that time to spend some one-on-one time with my little one. It was nice just letting go and following her lead and she already has a request for what to do tomorrow! 

I'm still adjusting to the schedule changes that school has made to our day, namely having lunch much later than usual. It will take some time to figure out how this new afternoon and nap schedule will look and when I will be able to sit down to work. For now I am trying to just take it as it comes...as best I can.

I'm grateful for a smooth start to another week of school. I'm grateful my daughter is loving it. I'm grateful for how much she seems to have matured in just a short time. I'm grateful to spend some time with my little one. I'm grateful to witness her joy in getting to lead. I'm grateful for the picture of the goat above; how it is reaching to eat a leaf from a tree while all the rest of the goats happily much leaves off the abundance of weeds on the ground. I'm grateful to feel a kinship there. I'm grateful to reach for the stars. And I'm grateful to keep mindful of not stretching myself too thin.

How is your week starting? What are you reaching for this week? What is going well and what has caused a few bumps?

May today be beautifully normal. May we cherish the simple days. Have a beautiful day!

Last night we had our family meeting. We are trying to get in the practice of once a week sharing our joys and challenges. We go around the table, usually while we're eating dinner, and share our favorite moment of the week. It is fun to hear what moments stuck out for each family member. 

Then we share a challenge each of us is facing (if there is one) and we all brainstorm together how to help. For me, this is important for three reasons. First it lets us hear if our kids are having a problem. Second it shows our kids that even adults face challenges. Last, but possibly most important, it shows that we value their input in solving the problem and if we work together we can get through anything. 

Yesterday it all seemed to align. I said I had been struggling lately to get enough steps in during the day and I needed some ideas or encouragement for being a bit more active. My older daughter said she could help with that, maybe we could have a dance party or something. Then she spoke up and said she was really wanting to go hike a trail that we did several months ago but she didn't know how to get there or when she could go. Conveniently, my husband's challenge was also trying to find time this week to do a one hour ruck. The two-year old is still getting the hang of it but she said she wanted to go too. So it looks like all our challenges this week can be solved by getting out as a family today and taking a little hike.

I'm grateful to have an extra day home together. I'm grateful for our new family meetings and everyone having a voice. I'm grateful for my oldest daughter's eagerness to help. I'm grateful to be putting this into practice while both girls are still young so it can build naturally as they age. I'm grateful for the communication line it facilitates not only between us and the kids but between my husband and I as well. I'm grateful for some time in nature together as a family.

What is one good thing that is happening in your life this week? What is one challenge? Who do you talk with during your week?

May today help our communication be clear. May we always find the good in the week and may we always have someone to brainstorm with about challenges. Have a beautiful day! ​

We had two big birthdays this weekend. The first was actually September second; our dog, Pippin, turned fifteen. Honestly I thought she was older than that but the math adds up to fifteen. It is a good age for a seventy-five pound dog and she has had a good life. 

She celebrated her birthday with special bakery cookies with her fur-cousins and her non-furry sisters. It was a nice, simple celebration that I think she enjoyed. I'm so happy she made it to see another birthday.

The second big birthday was my amazing mother-in-law. I won't disclose her age here but it's always fun to celebrate another year! We were not able to be with her in person this weekend but are looking forward to helping her keep the celebrations going all month with a delayed trip to celebrate her. 

It's wonderful to have a mother-in-law that can know your flaws and love and respect you anyway. It's wonderful to have a mother-in-law that is willing to be open, raw, and real in sharing her own struggles. It truly is a gift to have this bond.

I'm grateful to have two birthdays to celebrate this weekend. I'm so grateful to spoil my sweet dog and make sure she knows she is loved. I'm grateful to see her celebrate another year. I'm grateful for my wonderful mother-in-law. I'm grateful that she is "real". I'm grateful for our friendship. I'm grateful to take time to go and celebrate her.

What are you celebrating this weekend? Whose birthday is coming up that you could plan something special? 

​May today be a sweet reminder to celebrate every day, month, and year we are blessed to be here. Have a beautiful day!

It seems that change happens in waves. Sure, there are some changes that happen nearly every day. But when the big changes come it seems they happen in clusters. 

So here is a toast to all of you out there riding the wave of change. Sometimes it gets crazy and sometimes it is messy, but we can (and will) make it through to ride the next wave. 

Why are I giving you a pep talk? Because it is what I need to hear right now. I have found that most the time people say the words they need to hear. So here it is, You are going to be fine. You are going to be better than fine. This wave is the beginning of a great adventure!

Most of all, during the wave of change, we need patience. No transition is instantaneous. There will be "in the flow" moments and tumbled around moments. Patience is important, especially with ourselves. 

I'm grateful for my little pep talks. I'm grateful to know someone out there needed to hear this too. I'm grateful to make myself stop when I start to get over-wound. I'm grateful to do everything in my power to help my kids move through all these transitions smoothly but I'm also grateful to know that it will not always work out that way and they will still be fine. I'm grateful for nap times. I'm grateful for tax help professionals. I'm grateful for celebrate my dog's birthday! I'm grateful for resilience and I'm grateful for this wave.

How are the waves of change going for you? What do you need to support yourself? Where could you add a pause or a little more patience?

May today bring some balance and ease to whatever wave you are riding. May we always hear the words of support we need, especially from ourselves. Have a beautiful day!