Well tonight is New Year's Eve. It feels a little surreal because there is not the usual mingling of friends and food or games being played. There will be no countdown at midnight although I have lived in this neighborhood long enough to know I will wake at midnight to the neighbor's fireworks. 

Why is this year so different? First, I am still taking extra care to try to kick this congestion bug. Second, the evening was spent packing and trying to prep for a trip that got moved up by a full day. 

I started making changes for the new year a couple weeks ago. Today I was faced with my first test to my new goals and much to my disappointment I did not hold up to the standards and goals I had set. My initial reaction was being hard on myself and thoroughly bummed. But this reaction in and of itself is part of the changes I am trying to make for the new year. 

Instead I am using this test as a practice run. It showed me where I need to "break down" my goals a little further to help myself succeed and create a new habit.

Stepping into tomorrow may be a new year and new goals but it is part of the same, ever-changing story. Each little step I take is moulding a new me for the future. As part of this, I am choosing self-care tonight and getting some sleep. There will be plenty of celebrations in the days to come.

I'm grateful for a practice test. I'm grateful to have fallen on my face and observed the feelings and reactions it brought. I'm grateful to see how my goals need tweaked and shifted to make the changes I want to see. I'm grateful to allow myself to feel all my feelings and to have a wonderful husband to talk it out with as I process. I'm grateful for ideals and lofty goals but I'm more grateful to respect and honor my humanness and take it one baby step at a time. I'm grateful for a new year and many new adventures.

What goals and changes do you want to make? How do you set yourself up for success? How to you process the missteps?

May today remind us to proceed with grace. May we see the beauty in our success and stumbles as we navigate the year to come. Have a beautiful day!

When it comes to support there are different types for different situations. As a parent (especially) I get to practice all the different types.

I love accompanying my preschooler as she tries new things. I love exploring the world by her side and seeing it through her eyes. It is so fun to jump in the puddles or dance like no one is watching. And secretly I also find courage in doing some of these things together.

I love hanging back and watching my little explorer, daredevil, test out her limits. I love celebrating with her when it ends well and helping her get back up when it doesn't.

Every once in a while my daughter asks me to go first. Sometimes she needs to witness it to have the courage to try it herself. Today was one of those days and I was honored to get to be a part of her first haircut. We both walked away with cute bobs and each left about eight inches of hair on the floor. 

I'm grateful for a fun mommy daughter day with my preschooler. I'm grateful for the trust she has in me when trying new things. I'm grateful for her courage and spunk. I'm grateful to have no attachment to my hairstyle and not think twice to having it chopped to show my daughter it doesn't hurt. I'm even grateful to have cute matching bobs. I'm grateful to look forward to easy brushing tomorrow.

Who do you support by accompaniment? Who do you support by leading or having their back? And when do you need each of these types of support?

May we always find the support we need. May we give the support our loved ones need. And may we find the balance in leading, accompanying, and following. Have a beautiful day!

For four days my little one has been sick. We have navigated high fevers, congestion, and choking on mucous. I spent the first night sitting in a rocking chair holding her and monitoring her fever every hour or two. The last two nights I have spent camped out on the floor next to her crib to be there to help her when she gags and coughs up the mucous.

It is nothing earth shattering or award winning, this is just what moms do. But it gave me a beautiful perspective on love. It also reminded me how much I love being a mom to these amazing girls. This love in itself brings gratitude and seeing the light at the end of the sick "tunnel" today brings even more. One thing, above all else, made my gratitude soar today.

The return of my baby's laughter was the sweetest sound. My heart about burst as she gave me some ornery little smiles and blew some spit bubbles as part of a silly game we play. She may not be one hundred percent, but my baby is feeling well enough to be happy and that means the world to me.

I'm grateful beyond measure for my husband's amazing help during the last several days. I'm grateful for my preschooler's patience as time and again I had to hold her crying sister instead of play. I'm grateful for the return of my baby's laughter and smiles. I'm grateful for all the cuddles I got in the meantime. I'm grateful to recognize the blessing of dropping everything to sit with my sick baby as she grows so fast and is such a precious treasure to cherish each moment, even the sick ones. I'm grateful for her ability to breathe again and in return my ability to breathe again. I'm grateful for love and for these moments that remind me.

What is the sweetest sound to you? What brings you joy after stress? What opens your eyes to being in the moment?

May the reminders to be in the moment be gentle and loving. May we stay healthy and strong in body, mind, and heart. Have a beautiful day!

   

I awoke this morning to realize the baby had slept ten hours straight. She ate and went back to sleep for another hour and a half. My preschooler crashed in bed for nearly eleven hours herself which is nearly unheard of for this child.

I was happy to get a solid seven hours of sleep though I could not seem to get back to sleep after the baby's feeding. I felt pretty rested getting to sleep straight through. My husband and dog seemed to be happy with the solid night's sleep as well.

Today was going to be a day of catching up on laundry while also taking time to just relax and play with the girls. Instead the baby woke the second time with a high fever. The poor kiddo cuddled all day battling fever and congestion. 

Most of my day was just spent holding her and trying my best to still give my preschooler some attention. As much as it broke my heart I still had to head into work for a few hours in the afternoon. Tonight has been more of the same and I'm mentally preparing for a night sitting in a rocking chair. 

I'm grateful to have gotten a good night's sleep last night in preparation for tonight. I'm grateful to only have to work a few hours today and to know my baby was in good hands with her dad. I'm grateful my husband is so good at getting the girls to take medicine. I'm grateful the medicine is helping my baby's fever. I'm grateful to have a strong immune system. I'm grateful for several days to work on recovery and getting her back healthy before we have to travel. I'm grateful for my preschooler's ability to play by herself and her love of reading. I'm grateful to just sit and hold my baby.

How do you choose to spend the day after a busy season? How do you unwind? How do you find the positive side when a wrench gets tossed in your plans?

May today keep us focused on what is important. May we find rest and support where it is needed. Have a beautiful day!

Today was wonderfully exhausting. We woke up and opened presents with the girls. Next was a special Christmas breakfast then back to open more presents before heading over to my brother and sister-in-laws house to celebrate with my mom's family. 

I had three worries going into today. One worry was that the baby would be overstimulated like when everyone got together at Thanksgiving. I was able to thwart that with a long morning nap and sneaking off to a quiet part of the house twice during the party to nurse and give her a little nap.

The other two worries revolved around my oldest child. I was a little worried that she would be upset to see the box of toys to donate to "Santa" was gone. She did not notice or care. Also, last week she informed me at the store that she no longer liked one toy from her list. Of course, that was the one we had bought her. I had been tempted to return it and get something else but after talking to some people my husband and I decided to keep the original gift. It turned out to be her favorite thing she unwrapped this morning.

So all the worries were for naught and there were lots of beautiful moments to add. The highlights for me were watching my oldest's excitement, the baby's love of the crinkly wrapping paper, and laughter shared with family. I also loved that the weather was so beautiful we got to take a long walk. Watching my mom's whole family crowd around a unicorn cake to sing happy birthday to baby Jesus for my daughter warmed my heart.

I'm grateful for beautiful moments spent with family. I'm grateful for traditions that fill my heart with joy. I'm grateful for the beautiful weather so we could actually play outside. I'm grateful for great gifts and giving in return. I'm grateful to listen to my baby and let her rest and take breaks from the jubilant energy. I'm grateful for having extra friends there this year to make the party even more dynamic. I'm grateful for all the laughter and jokes. I'm grateful to just be myself and know I'm welcome and loved. I'm grateful for all the work my sister-in-law puts in to making is a delicious and special holiday. And I'm grateful for all the energy my brother and parents put in playing with the kids to give my husband and I some social time.

What makes your holiday joyous? What criteria makes the best days? 

​May today remind us to all join together in song. May we share laughter and joy with the ones we love and always feel free to be ourselves. Have a beautiful day!

It's Christmas Eve and the festivities have officially kicked off. It was a very merry gift exchange with my parents, brother and sister. Then we were off to have dinner with my dad's family. 

I love these traditions. I love seeing everyone at the holidays. And honestly if it weren't for the traditions it wouldn't feel much like Christmas this year. 

Despite having several snows, even back in October, we hit sixty degrees today. It felt like we should be on a beach to be this warm in December. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining! I love the warmer weather! It definitely altered the plan for our Christmas outfits though, no sweaters this year!

Even with the balmy weather, Christmas carries on. We have the stockings hung and the box of toys for Santa to pick up is waiting nearby. We are so excited about being a part of giving toys this year!

I'm so grateful to be able to give. I'm grateful to give my daughter an opportunity to give and I'm grateful her generosity exceeded my expectations. I'm grateful for the abundance received tonight. I'm grateful for the traditions that fill my heart with joy. I'm grateful to see family I have not seen in years. And while I wish I could have talked to them more tonight, I'm grateful to see my daughter's limits and do what was best for our family. I'm grateful to have two sweet girls tucked in fast asleep n preparation for another day of festivities tomorrow.

What traditions mean the most to you? How do you give back this time of year?

May today bless us with the joy of giving and receiving. May we find joy in the traditions we create and let go of the ones that do not fill our hearts. Have a beautiful day!

It is Christmas Eve Eve, the night before the holiday kicks off for my family. I will admit that the last two days have had their fair share of anxiety attacks as I think of all the last minute things that need done. 

I am aware that there is a biological component as my vitamins have changed. Yet I have to acknowledge the extra pressure I have put on myself combined with less self-care as the main culprit. 

As I drove home from work tonight my mind seemed to be all over the place. One thought interrupted another as I made mental reminders for tomorrow. 

When I stepped through the door at home something shifted. We turned on Christmas music and my husband and I danced with our girls. My hula hoop came out for some silliness. It was a beautiful half hour of being in the moment.

The next thing I knew it was passed the girls' bedtimes and my stress returned full force. Anxiety gripped me as the baby resisted going down. And much to my disappointment I had too much to do downstairs to lay down with my preschooler. Just when I felt an anxiety attack clenching me, my husband started being silly and making me smile...then chuckle, then laugh. He is so great at pushing that reset button. 

I'm grateful to let time slow down. I'm grateful to keep re-routing my attention to this moment. I'm grateful for all the blessings in this moment. I'm grateful to know everything will get done and I will still get some sleep. I'm grateful for leftovers so that I could have a delicious meal without the delay of making myself dinner. I'm grateful to have a delicious breakfast pre-cooked in the fridge as well. I'm grateful for my family's patience as I try to manage my stress and I'm grateful for their joy and laughter that brings me back to what is important.

How are you doing this holiday season? What helps you to reset and focus on the present moment?

May today help us see what is important and focus on the beauty of the present moment. May we have someone to share the holiday with that brings us joy. Have a beautiful day!

The gifts I wanted most for Christmas came early. Friday morning my preschooler gave me a gift I have been wanting pretty much since she was born. All I have wanted was to be able to snuggle her while she sleeps on me, when she isn't sick. 

It isn't that she isn't snuggly. If my daughter is awake or not feeling well then she is fine with snuggling. But if my daughter is awake, she is talking. She falls asleep talking and sometimes I swear she wakes up mid sentence.

Friday morning she came and crawled into bed next to me. This in itself is rare because she knows we don't let her sleep in our bed at night, but it was around six. It struck me as odd because she cuddled right into me when usually she would prefer to lie next to me without really touching much. The real shock came when she didn't start talking but instead fell back to sleep cuddled on my shoulder. I will admit I instantly assumed she was ill. But I was wrong and when we got up an hour later she was perfectly fine. I had just received the best Christmas gift she could give me.

The same day my baby girl was in the best mood. She filled the air with big belly laughs over everything from me eating to her sister jumping. Everything seemed to tickle her. Up until this point she really hasn't been big on laughing. She laughs little giggles on occasion if my finger brushes her rib while I change a diaper or if her sister does something extra silly. I can say she is a happy baby but she isn't overly giggly. Hearing her laugh big belly laughs, I thought this was the best gift she could give me for Christmas.

Little did I know my baby girl had another great gift in store. That night she slept nine straight hours! It was beautiful! Best. Gift. Ever. 

​To round out the weekend of best gifts, my parents came Saturday and my husband and I got a date night. In my book it was our best one in a long time. We got in the car with no plan but it all fell into place. We stopped for warm drinks before heading out to a local trail to walk. Despite being the Winter Solstice the sun was warm and high while we walked. We shared laughter and enjoyed the fresh air and reconnection to nature. It was perfect.

As if that weren't wonderful enough, we found a little hole in the wall kind of place that serves some authentic Chicago style food. While I didn't even know what that really meant, me husband was ecstatic so we went in. We ordered what turned out to be two delicious meals. As a bonus, while we were waiting for the meals to come out, we got to play pinball! 

I'm so grateful for my family and the perfect Christmas gifts they provided. I'm grateful to truly feel my heart overflow with joy. I'm grateful to get to snuggle my daughter while she is healthy. I'm grateful to have felt her soft snores on my neck as she cuddled in close. I'm grateful for the beautiful sound that is my baby's laugh. I'm grateful to have been blessed with an abundance of her laughter if even for the day. I'm grateful for her wonderful stretch of sleep, even if it isn't a nightly occurrence. I'm grateful she is a pretty good sleeper over all. I'm grateful to enjoy the outdoors this weekend with my husband. I'm grateful to spend the solstice outside walking the trail. I'm grateful for the laughter my husband and I shared as we reconnected. I'm grateful for the kind couple that owns Pizza Man, the Chicago style eatery. I'm grateful for a weekend of blessings and to receive the best gifts my heart could have asked.

What do you want for the holidays? What would be the best gift to your heart and soul? 

May today remind us what is important. May we celebrate the season by giving and receiving the gifts that mean the most. Have a beautiful day!

Tonight was my daughter's Christmas program. It was her first Christmas program and performance in front of a big crowd. She did great!

As someone who was an extremely shy kid, I was in awe of her spunk and confidence up on stage. As any three year old she was back and forth between singing and being distracted. Her biggest distraction was trying to get one of her friend's attention to point out his brother was there. 

I loved trying to pick her voice out of the crowd. It was also fun watching her dance and even her funny distractions. I think the best part of all was her sheer excitement at being there. She was not ready to go when the program ended, even after another fifteen minutes of cookies and socializing.

It was fun watching my daughter. It was also fun to see all the different personalities all gathered together. Some of her friends sang while others were shy. There were a bunch of red Christmas dresses while others opted for other colors or styles of outfits. Every child was unique in their own ways and each one had something to bring to the show. 

I'm grateful to get to watch my daughter's program. I'm grateful to prioritize her show and take the night off work. I'm grateful to beam with pride and love at her performance. I'm grateful for her spunky and confident nature. I'm grateful she has such a determined and precocious personality (yes, even though it makes my job a little more challenging some days). I'm grateful for all the teachers and their efforts, not only for this program but each and every day. I'm grateful for this night with family and friends.

What type of personality are you? What personalities do you tend to hang around? What combination of people make up your "tribe"? 

May today remind us it takes all types to make the world operate. May we celebrate each and every one for their unique contributions. Have a beautiful day!

The countdown to Christmas has officially kicked off at my house as I realize all the things I still need to do. I had presents bought a couple weeks ago and was ahead of the game. Now as the time approaches I realize how many things still need done between wrapping, co-creating our family ornament, making sugar cookies, etc.

Will it be the end of the world if these things do not get done? No. But I do like the tradition of these activities so it is time to start prioritizing them. 

I had a small hiccup today as I walked through the store with my preschooler. It seems pretty much the only toy in the whole aisle she says she doesn't want is the one thing my husband and I got her. She loved playing with it at a friend's house and had gone on and on about wanting one back in November. Apparently she has moved on. 

I debated returning it and grabbing something else she decided she wanted today but have decided to just let it go. When she opens it Christmas morning hopefully she will love it and if not there are a couple other little things for her to open. 

I let my mind get tangled up in the "it has to be perfect and magical" idea. I felt the stress build inside me at the thought of letting her down. But maybe this is why I didn't like Christmas for years. No, not that my parents let me down but rather the letting my head get all wrapped up in the stress. 

Christmas isn't about the perfect gift. It is about someone loving you so much and trying to get you something special. It doesn't even have to cost money. Experiences are even better than "stuff" in my book. So my daughter will open her toy as her Christmas experience. Then she will open a gift of a membership for the whole family to the kids museum. It is a gift that will last all year and include the one thing she wants most but never actually asked for, quality time together. 

I'm grateful to give this gift. I'm grateful for quality time and experiences shared. I'm grateful to know how important this is, more so than the perfect toy. I'm grateful to remind myself what is important. I'm grateful to prioritize the things that mean the most to me. I'm grateful to take a deep breath and let go of the stress. I'm grateful to be enjoying the Christmas season. I'm grateful to keep my mind and heart in the true spirit. And I'm grateful for an amazing family to share the season.

What does the countdown bring for you? What are you prioritizing? What is important and what can be let go?

May today renew the spirit of Christmas in our hearts. May we keep our eye and hearts on what is truly important. Have a beautiful day!