Do you ever have days where things just seem to get away from you? Today is one of those days. The baby didn't take a morning nap and I didn't manage to get her down for an early afternoon nap. School work went mostly undone. Vets got called, medicine got picked up, and in the meantime we learned our dog also somehow got fleas. So now the house needs treated and everything washed and vacuumed. 

I keep feeling the overwhelm creeping up on me and I keep trying to reframe it and remind myself I can handle all this. Yet when I look at all the plates spinning in my hands of things I have been trying to juggle, I feel dizzy. It feels like this additional hurdle has actually put ME on the spinner.

There is Halloween to finish preparing for because I have tasked myself with making it extra special since we do not get to trick or treat. There is schoolwork to prep for next week because I have not had time to do all the pre-preparations I had been doing at the beginning, keeping me weeks ahead. My skin is crawling at the idea of fleas being in our home and at the same time I am anxious to get started on the cleaning. The baby hasn't had my attention other than meals in days and my preschooler is acting out because the last few days her baby sister has "crashed" school time which is usually one on one time for me and her. 

So what do you do on these type of days? What do do you do when things start spinning? How do you find your balance?

It may sound silly but I like to jump up and down. There is something about my feet hitting the ground with the full weight of my body that helps me ground out again. It physically puts me back on my feet. And then there is this, not the blog specifically, but finding some time to find gratitude. Finding time to breathe. 

I do not need to convince myself that "I've got this." I do, it's a fact. But I do need to rebalance myself so I can do it with grace and not like a maniacal Tasmanian devil. 

I'm grateful for gratitude. I'm grateful for my family who is patient with me while I do my best to hold grace and breathe. I'm grateful for my preschooler who was willing to give up some of our special time today to run to the store with me and get flea treatment supplies. I'm grateful for my dog who did her best to stand up so I could bathe her. I'm grateful for the baby who was patient as her sleep needs got lost in the static today. I'm grateful she is sleeping peacefully now. I'm grateful for our vet who is prompt to get us treatments to try and help make our dog comfortable. I'm grateful for this life, even on the days when I'm spinning and I'm pretty sure more plates have fallen than stayed up. I'm grateful to know this is my best and that is enough, no matter what it looks like.

May today remind us to give ourselves a break. May we find gratitude and grace and plenty of support at each turn. Have a beautiful day!

My sweet dog is having another downward turn. Her balance is so off that she can barely make it a step or two without stumbling at times. Last night she took a tumble down a few stairs as well. 

It isn't out of the blue. She has had a few slides and at one point we thought we were down to a few days with her. She made a turn around, at least partially, and gave us confidence she could make it another year or two. It is so hard to say with dogs because they cannot tell you what ALL is going on. We know she has some pressure on her spine or brain as well as several large lumps that press on her abdomen and throat. 

I got her when she was six months old. I drove through a snowstorm to pick her up from the shelter because they said she was ready to come to her forever home. I couldn't bear the thought of her having to wait any more nights to be snuggled and loved. 

She is fourteen years old now. She has been my family, my baby for well over a decade. When I actually pause to let myself think about life without her it is heartbreaking. 

At the same time I know she is uncomfortable. I know she misses our other dog. Our other dog helped pick her out at the shelter and was with us until two years ago. Those two years have brought her separation anxiety, sadness, and even less attention as a second human baby entered the family nearly sixteen months ago. I can hear it in her breathing; she is tired. I can see it on her face; she is torn between feeling better and loving us too much to give in. 

Maybe she will make a little improvement again and give us hope for one more year. Maybe this is truly the beginning of goodbye. Either way I hope I can be strong enough to be there for her in her final months, days, or hours. I hope I can give her the same unconditional love she has always shown me. I hope I can give her the patience she bestows on my girls. I hope I can give her the attention she deserves that was so easy to do before children.

I'm so grateful for this beautiful dog. I'm grateful for all the laughs she gave me over the years. I'm grateful for her intelligence and her gentleness. I'm grateful for her unconditional love. I'm grateful to get to sit next to her and stroke her fur for a while longer. I'm grateful for my husband who stayed with her last night when I needed to tend to the kids. I'm grateful for the love my girls have for sweet Pippin. I'm grateful they got the opportunity to have a dog and love her so much. I'm grateful to know someday, when the kids are a little more self-sufficient, that we will be blessed with another dog and another beautiful journey. 

What do you do to help yourself come to terms with loss? What do you do to help prepare yourself and young kids when you know loss is coming? What are some ways you have given or received unconditional love?

May today bless us all with the experience of unconditional love. May we hold our loved ones tightly. Have a beautiful day!

I sat down to do my blog and asked myself the everyday questions, "What am I grateful for today? What great things have happened so far?" Immediately my mind went to the science project my daughter and I had done for her preschool work today. I started to write about it but in the back of my mind I felt a little voice saying "really? school stuff again?" 

I loved school growing up, minus the social aspect that was a little stressful because I was so shy. I loved working with kids with Autism and speech delays in my twenties. And I love homeschooling my daughter and coming up with fun themes and projects for us to do. So when I say I'm grateful for this stuff, it is from the heart. ...Yet... I also know I tend to put myself last and even complain from time to time that I feel like I have lost a good portion of my identity outside of motherhood.

My birthday was last week and as I peruse online for what to spend my gift cards on I keep finding myself looking for clothes for my girls or christmas ideas for family members. I don't really need anything. But then birthday gifts are rarely about need, at least when I am shopping for friends and family. Why is it so much easier to shop for others than myself? And if I am going to complain about my identity outside motherhood, it is on me to establish just who I am now. What do I like to do? What do I want most? 

Last night I had time to just unwind, which is rare. I should say I TOOK time. There was still the load of laundry, school lessons to prepare, Halloween activities to get ready, and a list of other things but I listened to my body and took time for me. So what did I do? I watched a little television while coloring a beautiful owl coloring page. "Whoo".

Today I will continue to ponder that question of who I am now. What parts of me have changed since before kids and which parts are just on hold due to the little time I have to commit to those interests? Maybe as I sit with the who, the what will come to mind.

I'm grateful for a beautiful owl coloring book. I'm grateful for time to unwind. I'm grateful to pause and allow that home school and motherhood are not the only great things in my life right now. I'm grateful to do some soul searching at other aspects of my life. I'm grateful to love my life. I'm grateful to love learning and teaching. I'm also grateful to be me and have my own interests. I'm grateful to know those interests that are on hold will still be there next summer, or three years, or ten years from now when I reach the different stages of my life and have a little more free time. In the meantime, I'm grateful to find new interests and activities to bolster up my feelings of identity.

Who are you? What are your interests? How have they changed at different stages of your life?

May today remind us that life is a river always changing and flowing and we have the beautiful ability to change and shift with it or carve our own path. Have a beautiful day!

The first snow fell today. It is actually still going and supposed to continue through tomorrow. While I am in denial about Winter being around the corner, as I am every year, I will admit I am loving the look of the soft layer of snow over the still red leaves of the Maple trees. It is such a beautiful sight to see.

We get some weird weather here in the midwest. It can be eighty degrees one day then thirty the next as mother nature decides which season to make it day by day. Autumn is my favorite because of the beautiful colored leaves, cozy sweatshirts, and yummy treats. Winter has its beauty with the blankets of snow and the feeling of being in an old black and white movie. 

I'm grateful to get to witness both today. I'm grateful to stay inside cozy and warm as we watch the first snow fall. I'm grateful to get to snuggle my baby as she begin to feel better. I'm grateful for a good strong heater and solid windows and doors to keep the chill out. I'm grateful to watch the peacefulness of the drifting snow as it falls. I'm grateful to get to incorporate some snow and ice into our science lessons this week. I'm grateful to roll with this lesson change even as it was "planned" for later in the year. I'm grateful for the way the red leaves really pop against the snow. I'm grateful for this day.

What takes your breath away? What sights of nature leave you in awe, even if you have seen it before? What is your favorite way to celebrate the first snow?

May today warm our bodies and hearts. May we cherish these beautiful moments nature gives and take the time to really see them. Have a beautiful day!

The last seven months have been mostly sheltered at home. We have gotten out for an occasional playdate at the park and I still work, of course, but mostly we have been home. 

Being home means we have been exposed to very few germs. In the short term this has been nice because there haven't been the typical colds and other bugs. It has also meant the blessing of not getting covid. It also probably means our immune systems are a little out of practice fighting off these little bugs. 

Last night when my little one came down with a fever I just assumed it was teething. In the wee hours she woke burning up, not the low grade temperature she had when she'd gone to bed. Needless to say, there have been lots of cuddles and snuggles since. 

Seeing my baby not feeling well is not fun. The only upside is I love cuddling my babies. They are growing up so fast and it is nice to stop and just snuggle. Even in our slower pace life these days these days my little one is on the go. While I pray she feels better soon, I will take the snuggles in this moment.

I'm grateful to snuggle. I'm grateful she is willing to take the medicine to bring her fever down. I'm grateful for her sweet kisses. I'm grateful for the sweet way her fingers wrap around me and hold tight. I'm grateful to be blessed with two sweet girls. I'm grateful we have been so healthy the last seven months. I'm grateful to know health will return. I'm grateful for a little bug to keep our immune systems exercised.

How have you been feeling? When was the last time you had a good snuggle? 

May health be the norm and may we always find our way back to the balance of health when it waivers. May we get all the snuggles we need in sickness and in health. Have a beautiful day!

When I am present to the here and now, there are no comparisons to make. I am not judging this moment by any other. I'm not bringing other frustrations from earlier or anxieties about later into the equation. It is only this moment. 

In this moment I can feel the firmness of the cushion against my back and my booty. I can feel the cold of my feet as they criss-cross on opposite calves. I can feel the tickle in my ear as my hair hangs loose. I can hear the faint ocean sounds over the monitor as my baby sleeps and the deep breathing of my dog resting nearby. 

I can feel which muscles are a little tight by the pull they give on my ribs as I try to take an extra deep breath. I can feel the cold of my water as it goes down my throat. 

It is a refreshing pace. There is a deep comfort in being in this moment even as my fingers press the keys, clicking on my keyboard. This moment is peaceful. This moment is calm.

While I am still practicing finding the here and now as two kids run around me issuing demands, I will continue to try. Why? Because if I can find it in those moments, I can parent from a whole new level of peace. From this level that is right here in THIS moment. I will keep working toward that but for now, back to this moment, I will just enjoy.

I'm grateful for this beautiful moment. I'm grateful to tune in and feel my body. I'm grateful for the soft, comforting noises of home around me. I'm grateful for the click of my keyboard that seems somehow detached from myself even as I know I am typing it. I'm grateful for this comfortable seat and that my feet are warming against my legs. I'm grateful to focus and feel as the breath comes in and out. I'm grateful for the here and now; it really is the most wonderful place.

Where are you? What sensations do you feel? What is your focus? How do you find ways to be present throughout the day?

May today remind us how beautiful the current moment is when we take the time to be in it. May we celebrate each day, each moment, and each breath as a blessing. Have a beautiful day!

Woohoo! Today is my birthday! It has already been such a special day with so many beautiful people in my life reaching out to make my day special. 

I feel like this year is truly a changing season of my life. No it is not one of the "big" years that are usually seen as some kind of milestone or transition. Perhaps it is that my children are getting a little more independent (for little ones) and my hormones are beginning to rebalance as the baby gets older. Perhaps it is that I'm finding ways to re-center myself after months of feeling like I've been juggling cats. No matter why, I feel grateful, blessed, and refreshed stepping into this next year of life.

The last year has brought many blessings and beautiful changes that I did not expect. It taught me more about how to roll with things I cannot control and gifted me the beauty of extra family time.

I don't know what the next year will bring. Somehow I feel very at ease with this not knowing, perhaps even a little excited as I think of all the great gifts that could be waiting in the plot twists ahead.

This year will be beautiful. This year will be blessed. This year will be full of gratitude. This promise is my gift to myself. It is one I can keep because the only thing it needs is my own mindset to achieve it.

I'm grateful for another birthday to celebrate. I'm grateful for a day with my family. I'm grateful my husband took the day off work to hang out with me and the girls. I'm grateful for all the spoiling I've gotten today. I'm grateful for pumpkins to carve. I'm grateful for the ability to change my look with a couple new pairs of glasses. I'm grateful for giggles and snuggles from my girls. I'm grateful for this day and all the ones to come.

What are you grateful for today? What gifts has this last year given you? What season of life are you in and how is it showing up for you?

May we pause to enjoy the blessings of each day. May we celebrate each year we are blessed. Have a beautiful day!

Have you ever heard the little rhyme about girls being made of sugar and spice and everything nice while boys are made of snails and puppy dog tails? Like most things, this "one box fits all" saying doesn't seem to sit well with me. It's not that I don't like the rhyme or that I think my girls aren't sweet and nice (though there is maybe a couple extra dashes of spice in them); it just doesn't seem to fit their personalities in the rounder view. 

Today I was reading Sugar and Snails by Sarah Tsiang to my daughter. It had a cute take on different little rhymes to fit different personalities. I was a fan of little girls being made of snails and rocks and butterfly socks as the book offers. Maybe dresses and snails and racing down trails would be a good rhyme for my oldest. Instead she chose out of each rhyme (as is her personality to a T) so she said she is made of dresses and snails and race cars. It is more fitting that she chose her own path and doesn't care that it doesn't rhyme. And that is good too, it's her. 

My little one is still emerging as her personality unfolds for us. Some days she seems so laid back but man other days she can throw a fit for the world to hear. She loves to swing and gets shy around people other than her immediate family. Maybe acorns and swings and firefly wings would work for her for now, until she can choose her own style like her big sister. I'm sure each day she will teach us more and more about just what makes her.

The best thing about it is that not only do we not have to fit in the box, or in someone's stereotype of us, we also have the option to change it up every day, every moment, whenever we want. We are fluid people, ever changing. We can change whenever we want. And for me it is fun to think up some little rhymes to go with it.

Today maybe I am cuddly and calm with some cherry lip balm. Tomorrow perhaps I will be adventurous and crazy in something lacy. I like the idea that I'm part owl, part monkey, and a little bit spunky. Or maybe since it's Fall, my favorite season, I am pumpkin spice and fall leaves and cozy blankets please.

I'm grateful to be playful and test my mind with rhyme. I'm grateful to get creative. I'm grateful for Sarah Tsiang's spin on the old rhyme. I'm grateful for the idea that boys can be "flowers and swings and bumblebee wings" and girls can be "snails and rocks and butterfly socks". I'm grateful to know we can be whatever we want to be. I'm grateful to know we can change that as we see fit whenever we want. And I'm grateful to honor everyone as they are, even if it doesn't rhyme.

So what are you "made of"? Who do you choose to be tomorrow? How will you honor yourself exactly as you are this week?

May today remind us we are beautiful expressions of our uniqueness. May we let our quirks shine and be authentically our own beings. Have a beautiful day!

I am very blessed in that my husband does most of the cooking for our family. I enjoy cooking, but working evenings does not lend itself to fixing dinner for the family. It was one of the beautiful aspects of the shutdown last Spring, getting to cook for my family and have dinner with them each night. 

My husband is an awesome cook. He finds new ways to make even the same meal unique and delicious. He has a knack for finding the right spices to add an extra boost to a meal. 

Even with the blessing of him cooking and him being great at it; it does my heart well to be able to cook a meal for my family. I try to do this at least a couple times a week but mostly it turns into quick meals. 

Today I had the time to make Mexican Chicken Quinoa Casserole! It was a new recipe for us but in optimistic fashion I made a double batch for an extra casserole to freeze for the future. (This is generally how I am able to "make" dinner for my family- by pre-making and freezing.) 

It fills my heart to make good, healthy food for my family. It fills me with joy when my kids actually like and eat the recipe! Tonight I got both. It was a beautiful gift!

I'm grateful for these little blessings. I'm grateful to feel the blessing of this simple act filling my heart. I'm grateful to try to consciously choose actions that will fill my "cup". I'm grateful my kids both liked tonight's meal. I'm grateful for a fun new recipe with our favorite, quinoa! I'm grateful to have an extra casserole to look forward to in a few weeks. I'm grateful for Autumn and all the great recipes, casseroles, and soups that come with it. I'm grateful to share love through good food.

What are some of your favorite recipes? What do you like to cook? How do you share love?

May we choose things that fill our heart and soul. May we find healthy ways to show our love and delicious food to share. Have a beautiful day!