As an early Mother's Day and Father's Day present my husband and I got new hammocks. They store a little larger than a camp chair but come with easy-to-set-up poles, hammock, bug screen, sun shade, and even a tent that pitches over the top. It is the perfect gift for us.

In honor of our new gifts and just because we have decided to take the next two days "off". Obviously I am already off work as I still cannot work due to the Covid-19 closures.. But my husband is going to take off working from home and we are going to have a mini vacation.

It feels good to even just say that word, "vacation". Where would you go if you could take a vacation anywhere? What if you had to leave today and couldn't leave your state; what would your destination be? And if you couldn't leave home but were planning your perfect home "vacation" day; what would you do?

I'm grateful to take a few days together. I'm so grateful for our new hammocks. I'm grateful to take tomorrow off from even this blog to enjoy some electronics free time. I'm grateful for our girls' love of the outdoors. I'm grateful to see what unfolds. And I'm grateful we get to share this time together. 

May today remind us that "vacation" can be as simple as a mindset away. May we all be fortunate enough to take an away-from-home vacation soon. Have a beautiful day and weekend!

Typically we are an on-the-go family. We visit our parents, go camping, and get out of the house quite a bit. I personally am at my best if I can be out in nature, especially camping, for a couple days a month at least. 

This year has brought all that to a halt. We have been cooped up in the house and aside from some neighborhood walks and some deck time we have not been out of the house as a family of four at all. 

While this Covid-19 plot twist is far from over there is talks of parts of the state opening back up. As a massage therapist I will not be back to business for a while. But it has allowed a window to open up for my husband and I to begin talks about where we will go and what we will do when this is behind us. 

It is a great opportunity to start planning an overlanding trip, or what some might call back trails or off grid camping. We had been planning and slowing getting our gear all winter before things got derailed.

The thing is, just planning has brought a feeling of normalcy back. Looking through what we have and what we need for different trips and different areas brings the excitement. And the thought of returning to nature and getting away from the hum of electronics has already lowered my anxiety. Now we just have to figure out where we can go with restrictions or when we can go without restrictions. 

I'm grateful to start planning. I'm grateful to bring out the familiar check lists on what we need to pack. I'm grateful to even have the fun of meal planning for a trip. I'm grateful to feel like a weight is lifted just be making this small step. I'm grateful to keep the idea reasonable so that perhaps we can go sooner than later. I'm grateful to have found my soulmate and who is always up for a trip as well. I'm grateful to know we are on the same page. I'm grateful to have our gear and be ready as soon as the flag waves. I'm grateful for how uplifted I feel by something so simple and what would usually be so "normal". 

What helps you feel "normal" during this time? What do you do to raise your spirits? If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

May today bring us the gift of seeing the bits of normalcy we still have in each day. May we never again take for granted all the luxuries we currently miss. Have a beautiful day!

I took my girls out of the house today for the first time since mid-March when the shelter-in-place went into effect. We have played on the driveway and deck and gone for a couple walks around the neighborhood.

They have not been in the car for five weeks. I wanted to refit their car seats, which both needed adjusted. I thought if I was going to put them in the car in their seats we may as well take a two minute drive down the road to the paved walking trail. 

We are fortunate in our area to have lots of walking trails and the county has kept them open with the restriction of keeping social distancing. I just have not taken advantage of the trails because early on I had seen the parking lots packed when I drove passed to get groceries. 

Last night brought a big rain and the morning was overcast as things still dripped from the storm so it seemed like an ideal morning to hit the trails with fewer people. It was also a great time to test out my older daughter's new rain boots. So off we went on their first adventure outside by car ride in over a month. 

There were a couple cars in the parking lot but I was feeling pretty good about the decision. I let my preschooler out to see a giant worm in a puddle next to the car and set about getting the baby out of her carseat and into the stroller. My daughter is telling me about how she wants to save the worm so it won't get squished by a car when I hear someone say, "here, use this." I turn around to see that the woman who had been across the parking lot by her car is suddenly right next to my daughter handing her a plastic knife. 

First of all my mama heart about jumped out of my chest to realize that someone had snuck up without me hearing and was that close to my daughter. Glad she wasn't a kidnapper and it was a stark reminder for me to be vigilant now that we were away from home. Then the second wave of anxiety hit as I realized this person was not only not social distancing but handing something directly to my daughter. It was not the beautiful, calm easement into being out that I had hoped.

I managed to enjoy the walk, counting worms with my preschooler as we walked and trying to be silly with her but I could feel my anxiety heightened. Watching the rushing stream as it flowed heavily from the storm I could identify that feeling within myself too. Unfortunately later in the day a combination of things did make my emotions "dam" break in a less than productive way. Thankfully I have a great family and got lots of hugs to help me come back around. 

Its strange how things that two months ago I wouldn't have thought twice about can now set me in a tailspin. But if I look for the silver lining I see several. One this situation reminds me how important it is for me to start expressing my needs and speaking up for myself (and my children). Two it shows how much I care for my family but also how my fears need to be kept in check. And three, how very blessed I am to have such loving and understanding people to call home. 

I'm grateful for my family. I'm grateful for hugs, especially long, snuggly ones. I'm grateful for my husband that can help me put words to my emotions. I'm grateful to get some fresh air today. I'm grateful to have gotten to see my oldest daughter laughing as she counted worms and jumped in puddles. I'm grateful for the effort to keep her view of the world safe and joyful as best I can in honesty. I'm grateful for the rain that made everything so vibrantly green today. I'm grateful for this experience that showed me so much in such a brief moment. 

How are you today? Have you been able to reconnect with nature during this ordeal? 

May today allow emotions to flow in a productive way. May we see our fears but also trust our own judgments to navigate these times. Have a beautiful day!

This weekend I took extra time and care to work on my mental health. A week of little sleep and anxiety driven nights listening to my little one wailing as she fought sleep had taxed my nerves. Perhaps it is the PTSD or perhaps it is just the anxiety of a mom but when my baby wails and I cannot fix or even figure out the problem it frazzles me like nothing else. 

Practicing focusing on my feet rooted to the floor helped to keep me centered. Taking slow deep breaths and visualizing the air coming in and out kept me calmer. It gave me a distraction while keeping my anxiety down so that my anxiety wasn't another contributing factor in my daughter's struggles. I was able to remain being there for her and holding her as she needed. 

I practiced asking for what I needed. I know, I know, crazy right?! I didn't assume my husband would know, I spelled it out for him. And he made it happen. What did that look like? It looked like me laying in a hammock on the deck for thirty minutes alternating between staring up through the trees at the clouds drifting by and doing a word search. 
 
Today I treated myself to a great big salad. I realize this may not sound like a treat to some people and if you had told me a couple years ago that I was going to say that I would have said you were crazy. Yet in a time where I grocery shop only every three weeks and buy mostly foods that can be frozen, salad is a treat. 

I'm grateful to take care of myself. I'm grateful to use the tools I have to keep centered. I'm grateful to see how my anxiety was driven and how it may even be compounding the situation for my daughter. I'm grateful to be able to be with her in her time of need. I'm grateful to focus and breath. I'm grateful to visualize tree roots. I'm grateful for a vivid imagination. I'm grateful for hammock time and good food. I'm grateful for my husband. I'm grateful for myself and to voice my needs. 

What do you do when you are feeling frazzled? What are your triggers? What is your "zen" activity or visualization?

May we remember the importance of taking care of ourselves. May we voice our needs and have them met. Have a beautiful day!

Isn't it funny how we can get so focused on the problem that we forget to take a step back and allow the answer to show itself? Maybe this doesn't happen to you but it happens to me from time to time.

I know that my body communicates a wealth of information to me. It tells me what I need and what is out of balance. And when I ignore or neglect this knowledge my body "speaks" louder.

There has been a stye on my eye for over a month. I have tried the warm compresses and gentle massage. I even got it to open up twice only to have it remain. In fact, it was even bigger.

The eye, not surprisingly, represents our perspective of the world and what we choose to see. So I did my best to focus more on gratitude and try to bring some fun and laughter into my days. Yet the stye remained and I kept asking myself, "What am I not seeing?!"

I love the symbolism I find all around me. I love connecting the dots to find the spiritual aspect of imbalances when they show up. It gives me a sense of power over the path I choose and it feeds my sense of connection to something higher. But sometimes I have to laugh at how my mind takes over rather than letting intuition and spirit guide the symbolism.

About a week ago I let myself have a big cry. Some people call it ugly crying but really it is the most beautiful release we can give ourselves sometimes. I let go of trying to find the positive and trying to make myself feel the good of the situation and I gave in to a much needed sob-fest. 

The next day I felt like the stye was a little smaller but I ignored that and focused on the fact that it was still there. Another day passed and I gave myself a chance to admit that perhaps holding back all those tears was the message behind the stye. Perhaps it was time to release and find some emotional balance. Over the last few days I have let a few tears fall when they needed. I didn't hold back until my girls were napping or turn away to wash my face in the sink. I just let them fall. It turns out that when I do that, it only lasts a moment rather than an hour. The stye is almost gone.

No matter how much I "know" there is always room to grow. 

I'm grateful for this stye. I'm grateful for a good cry. I'm grateful to see the need to allow myself these releases in the moment rather than holding back for later. I'm grateful for my husband's patience and hugs. I'm grateful to be open and honest with my preschooler when she saw a few tears fall so she can learn a healthy connection to allowing her feelings. I'm grateful to be learning this connection myself. I'm grateful to be retraining and allowing. 

What is your body telling you? What imbalances are waiting to be freed? What is your relationship to your emotions?

May today allow us to embrace the many emotions that surface. May we find balance and listen to the messages our body is sending. May we step out of our heads and allow the spiritual messages to flow. Have a beautiful day!

Today I gave in to the dark side. No, not the dark thoughts or depression or a dark mood. I gave in to sleep. 

It was bound to happen eventually. Several nights in a row of really rough nights for both my girls meant only a couple hours of sleep for me here and there. This is nothing new; it comes in waves and has been a common result of motherhood in our home. 

I normally got to bed around 9:30 and get up around 6 with at least one or two interruptions from children in between. On a typical night those interruptions last fifteen to thirty minutes and then I am back in my bed ready to slip back into sleep. On occasion my anxiety impedes me falling back to sleep for another hour or so.

My oldest daughter has had a rough month with nightmares and needing someone to lay with her until she falls asleep and given all that has been turned upside down in her life lately, we have done our best to give her this comfort. I'm working with the baby to break the habit we got in of her nursing to sleep and it was going well until a few nights ago. 

Last night was the third night in a row of very little sleep and it was the roughest of all. I didn't make it upstairs until almost ten and the baby was awake before I even laid down. She was up until midnight, crying and fighting sleep whenever I tried to lay her down in the crib. I tossed and turned trying to shut off my mind from running through the million possibilities that could be causing her distress and eventually drifted into a fitful sleep. At 2:50 a.m. she was back awake until around 3:30. I had just drifted off when my older daughter came in needing me to lay with her and at the same time I heard the baby starting to stir over the monitor again. 

I escorted my preschooler back to bed and told her I would lay with her for a couple minutes but then I needed to go check on the baby. I lay down snuggled with my first baby... That is the last thing I know until my daughter woke me at 6:15 because she was ready to get up for morning. I had not checked on the baby. I had not even moved. My hand was painfully asleep and all I could do was laugh at how hard I had crashed. 

My body knew what it needed and it took over. It shut down my mind from worrying. It shut down my ears from knowing if the baby was calling (though thankfully my husband said he had not heard her fussing any more over the monitor and had thought I was camped out in the baby's room because she was quiet). I succumbed to the dark room and the ocean sounds lulling me. And it was wonderful!

Today is Earth Day and while I would usually be out hiking a park the cool, rain-any-second weather has encouraged me to stay in and craft with my girls. I do love crafts! It looks like Mother Nature knew I needed a little extra relaxation today...and by the look of the clouds maybe a little bit more time "on the dark side". Haha!

I'm grateful to wake up a little rested at least. I'm grateful my body took over. I'm grateful to believe that the baby slept and had not been alone and in duress. I'm grateful for my husband's reassurance to release any guilt that may have tried to creep in. I'm grateful to get to snuggle my eldest. I'm grateful for soothing ocean sounds. I'm grateful for the dark, deep restful place I slipped into. I'm grateful that a hot shower woke my mind, body, and especially my hand. I'm grateful to be enjoying a calm Earth Day with lots of crafts. 

What gifts do you receive when you let go? What does it look like to "give in"? What did your Earth Day bring?

May we celebrate this beautiful Earth and all she gives us. May we allow our bodies and minds to meet the needs we have in order to stay healthy. Have a beautiful day!

Overall I have been surprised at how quickly the days and weeks have gone by as I shelter-in-place with my family. Even without the rush of our pre-pandemic schedules we still find more than enough things to do for the space of time allotted between naps and meals. Yet I have mostly focused on keeping a fun, interactive routine for my daughters.

Over the last few days I started asking myself, what do I want out of this time? Mostly I do just want the time to spend with my girls and cherish these memories but maybe I could be asking for more. Maybe I could be doing more for myself too.

I am doing some studies as a coach. I have been trying to make time to exercise and keep up with this blog. I have been nurturing some seeds for a garden and prepping a few preschool activities here and there. 

Today I woke up exhausted from only a couple hours of interrupted sleep and my first thought was "I can't do this today. Call it a pajama and movie day because I just want to lay down." But with the baby on the move there is no sitting down and my preschooler has a seemingly endless energy that was rearing to go today.

I thought if only it could be a nice sunny day instead of the overcast, gloomy day my weather app was predicting that would help. Poof! The clouds cleared within an hour and my app updated to declare a beautiful day! I wanted to go for a walk but just stroll along so we headed North instead of South. Just having a different route helped to slow us down as we played "I Spy" and explored where we haven't explored since last Fall. 

I wanted us to have a picnic but I didn't think I had time to get it all set up. I did it anyway. As we were packing up to come back inside I expected to see we were late for naps, instead we were right on time! And the baby who fought sleep all last night and morning nap was more than ready to crash without fight for her nap. 

There are 3 more things I want to get done today and I feel unusually confident that I can make that happen. I have been manifesting all day! It hasn't taken a week or even a day; my intentions are manifesting instantly because I am committing moving forward with expectation. Maybe it is the lack of expectation and the ability to say I'm doing it either way.  

I'm grateful to watch my day manifesting exactly what I need as I move through it. I'm grateful for lots of sunshine on my face and shoulders. I'm grateful to get out and walk. I'm grateful for my girls' patience as I navigate the groggy mind. I'm grateful for a picnic lunch which is a special treat my preschooler and I love. I'm grateful for little rainbows finding their way into our day. I'm grateful for some comfort food and lots of water. I'm grateful to keep on keepin' on today. 

What are you asking for today? What is manifesting? How can you move forward to encourage manifesting the day the way you choose?

May today remind us our power. May we use our power to manifest exactly what we need to renew our spirit. Have a beautiful day!

Last night brought the little sleep but lots of cuddles that motherhood frequently brings. I will admit the lack of sleep had me a bit impatient this morning and yes, a little grumpy. While I love the snuggles and those precious moments with my girls it takes its toll.

Thankfully I am "armed" with a whole bag full of resources. Usually after the baby's morning nap we either do a dance party or an obstacle course to get some energy out before lunch. Today I was more in the mood for yoga as my energy was dragging. 

My preschooler recently re-discovered my Laughter Yoga Big Book of Exercises. She really likes taking my big book of kids yoga exercises and flipping through to create her own flow. So I offered her the same option with my Laughter Yoga book today. 

In just five minutes of hearty laughter exercises I was feeling refreshed and re-energized. Of course, we didn't stop after only five minutes; we worked our way through a third of that big book! After lunch and getting both girls down for nap, doing my course work, doing some photo editing as well as assisting my husband with some things I can feel my energy starting to sag again. But I still have time for a quick breather and I know I can bring my energy back up with a little silliness and help from my girls.

I'm grateful for laughter. I'm grateful to just be silly. I'm grateful for the ways my girls keep me young. I'm grateful for all the resources I have picked up on my unusual journey. I'm grateful for all the trails I have explored. I'm grateful for Laughter Yoga and the great community it brought me. I'm grateful to pass on this tool to my girls. I'm grateful for their laughter and even for their looks of "she's lost her mind" that spur my own laughter. I'm grateful for this beautiful life.

When was the last time you had a good, long, loud laugh? Who could you call and share a laugh with today?

May today remind us laughter is the best medicine. May we keep taking those deep breaths and deep laughs that keep our body, mind, spirit, and lungs healthy. Have a beautiful day!

This weekend was a great reminder for me to not just look for the signs but accept the signs. One challenge I face repeatedly is remembering to ask for help when I need it. I don't know why I struggle in this department as I am quick to offer help to everyone else and remind them there is no weakness or shame in getting help...yet for some reason I forget to ask for myself.

Luckily, this weekend, I didn't have to ask. I only had to follow the signs and accept the beauty being offered. I got to work child-free in my garden. I got to play cards with my husband. I got to take steps to take care of me. 

I didn't ask for it but I did accept when it was offered. While I was out in the garden a cardinal flew into my garage. Cardinals, for me, represent my loved ones that have passed on, especially my grandparents. It was a beautiful sign to remember that even in this quarantine time we are all going through, I am still supported. Family and that love flows even over this distance and perceived (and physical) gap between us. 

Try as I could to help guide this beautiful cardinal out of my garage gently I only seemed to be getting her more frazzled. I know that feeling myself. So I asked myself what I would need if I were feeling overwhelmed with pressure. I gave her space and of course she worked it out on her own. 

I also received a call this weekend. I was offered a great opportunity to "better" myself with the help of several talented professionals... for free! I put better in quotes because it isn't that I think there is something wrong with me but that I have goals to meet that I would love some help achieving. I will be taking steps to build a new version of myself that is a little more balanced. Of course, I said yes!

I'm grateful for all the offers of help. I'm grateful to say yes! I'm grateful for all the signs of guidance and comfort. I'm grateful to feel uplifted just by taking these first steps toward balancing my life. I'm grateful to my husband and family who helped this weekend in giving me a little space. I'm grateful for the rain and to get to work in my garden while it was still muddy (my favorite). I'm grateful for all the flowers and all the worms. I'm grateful to be saying yes and taking steps forward.

What can you say yes to today? Where would you like some additional balance? What are the signs offering you?

May today remind us we are supported. May we see the signs and say yes to all the beautiful opportunities. Have a beautiful day!

Today I am drawing on something I learned several years ago. I read a positive psychology article about the power of planning a vacation. The article said feelings of happiness increased just by planning a trip and that happiness was actually higher in the planning a trip than actually taking it. Basically taking the trip added the stress element of hiccups in the plan and the stress that travel can bring. 

Well I am sitting in a great place then! We all are. We have plenty of time to dream and plan that trip we want to take. So today, I dream! I plan big! I imagine that month long trip with my family in our new tent or, hey, maybe that camper we have been dreaming about will be added. 

At the same time I am looking back through old pictures. For Christmas I got a picture frame, one of those huge picture frames that holds like 24 pictures. I decided it would be fun to add some of my first born's baby pictures into the frame as well as the recent photos. It is always fun seeing how similar the girls looked at different stages. 

I'm grateful to use some creativity to boost the mood. It may be raining outside but on my vacation it will be sunshine and cool breezes! I'm grateful for something to help my mind wander. I'm grateful for my girls that keep the days so busy. I'm grateful for all the beautiful pictures we have of our girls. I'm grateful for strong genes that make it fun to see the stages of each girl. I'm grateful for their differences too. I'm grateful for time to think and space to dream.

Where would you go if you could go anywhere? What pictures bring you joy? Do you have them up where you can easily see them?

May today remind us to keep dreaming and imagining our best life. May we dream bigger and love deeper as we re-emerge in the world. Have a beautiful day!