I am on a continuous quest to use conscious, positive parenting. It is a commitment not only to myself but to my girl (soon girlS). How can I do my best to help them grow into conscious, confident young women?

Yesterday I decided to sit down and write out the elements I notice when I am feeling reactive instead of responsive and ideas on what I can do in those situations. Obviously being tired is a big one so being sure I am taking time to get adequate amounts of sleep and self-care is important.

The feeling of not being listened to is a big trigger for me, and one that I meet frequently with a two year old. As I stepped back and evaluated the times this often occurs I recognized two elements that may help, listening and engaging with what she has to say first and then making sure I am right there in front of her when I make my request. I notice I often talk to her as I am doing other tasks such as finishing preparing lunch and calling out to her to go wash her hands so we can eat. This may work for an older child but I have to remind myself that this child is only two. 

Another trigger that came up for me is not getting enough positive feedback and affection myself. I come from a very affectionate family of huggers. My husband did not. And while it is a goal of mine to tell both my husband and daughter each day at least one thing I appreciate it is frequently not reciprocated. This one required a little more thought but the best I could come up with is making sure my self-talk is appreciative and loving and making sure to take the time morning and night to hug my husband. Voicing the need for affection and positive reinforcement may help. But this realization also drives me that much more to be sure I am giving these elements to my daughter.

Last but not least is walking int he door from work and being greeted by everyone's demands at once. There is a tired girl in need of preparing for bed who is only wanting some of her mommy's attention. There is a barking, whining dog needing to be recognized too. And frequently my husband is needing to unwind after his own similar experience in the afternoon when we change shifts. Meanwhile I am coming in low on the energy scale and hungry from it being nearly eight with no dinner yet. I decided taking some healthy snacks with me to eat in the car might help curb the hunger and making sure I either listen to cheerful music or turn off the radio and enjoy some silence may help my frame of mind on my drive home. Aside from that it is just part of parenting to put my kids' needs, yes the dog too, first at that time of night and spend the last few minutes before they are tucked in with some quality time. Deep breaths and prioritizing their needs will be key.

After I wrote all this out I was feeling a little more confident. I had a game plan. I like plans. The added benefit though was when I went to bed last night. I slept deeper and better than I have in a long time. My mind was at ease. I didn't wake up three times to rehash where I had gone wrong or worry about a future event. I slept! IT was magnificent.

I'm grateful to take this time to dive into reactions and solutions. I'm grateful to feel more confident going into today with a game plan. I'm grateful for creative and even common sense solutions. I'm grateful for the added benefit of sleeping well. I'm grateful to have a partner in parenting. I'm grateful to strive to be the best parent I can be for my girls. I'm grateful to remember that practicing graceful and positive self-talk and modeling imperfection and trying again is equally as important for my daughters. I'm grateful to give myself a little grace and forgiveness. I'm grateful to be so blessed in this parenting journey.

When do you find yourself feeling reactive? What elements seem to be your triggers and what helps you bring yourself back into a responsive and relaxed state?

May today remind us we are our own beautiful imperfection. May we allow forgiveness for missteps and grace for growing. Have a beautiful day!

Last night's storms brought deep, loud rumbles of thunder. It made the phrase "thunder rolls" sound accurate as each rumble thundered on for a full minute. Needless to say, my daughter did not sleep through it.

My daughter is at that magical age of exploring her world but not quite enough understanding to not fear...well a lot of it. We have noticed all kinds of fears popping up, even to things she previously thought funny.

Last night she woke and cried out. Given my current stage of pregnancy the first thing I must do when being woken from sleep is use the restroom, so my husband made it in to her first. He tried explaining that it was thunder and tried to make light of it by saying it sounded like the sky was snoring. When I arrived I said it sounded like big trucks driving around, knowing how much pleasure she had taken in the big construction trucks on our street last week. When we asked what it sounded like to her she said, ""loud and scary." Fair enough.

She asked me to stay with her and after a whole weekend of her gone at Grandma's I was more than happy to oblige. The whimpers and talks of scary thunder subsided as I draped my hand across her chest. Her little hand reached up and held on to mine. Sleep came within a matter of minutes.

Words are great. But sometimes all we need is a comforting touch. A hug can go further than a dozen sympathy cards. And holding the hand of someone we love can make a scary situation traversable.

I'm grateful my sweet girl is back home. I'm grateful to have had a productive weekend and spend some one on one time with my husband. And I'm equally grateful to have my daughter's sweet voice filling the walls again. I'm grateful for my husband and my creativity in our mid-night talk. I'm equally grateful to simply lie down and sleep next to my daughter to help her feel safe. I'm grateful for all the beautiful blessings that can be held in one simple interaction.

What comforts you? When does touch trump talking in your experience?

May today help us tune in to the basic needs. May we get our required number of hugs to thrive today and may we share the gift of touch with anyone requesting it. Have a beautiful day! 

Everything seems to be a countdown lately. There are two weeks of school left before my daughter is on Summer break. Only eighteen days until our family vacation kicks off, the last vacation as a family of three. In four months, from yesterday, my baby will turn three years old! And perhaps the biggest countdown to change; we're down to double digits in the countdown till the due date of our newest family member.

Ninety-eight days from now I am due with baby number two. I have heard that going from one to two was so much harder and also that it was easier than going from zero to one. I have had moms share both wonderful and scary stories about all that is about to change. But then isn't that always part of change?

There will definitely be an adjustment period. If this baby comes on its due date, our adjustment period will my daughter's third birthday, school starting, and the return to swim lessons all within a month. Perhaps she will grace us a little early like my first did and allow us all a couple extra weeks transition time. Of course, there is also the small possibility she will snuggle in make her grand entrance right before the festivities. 

I am a planner. I love the fluidity of my job within the parameters of my plans. I love that every day as a mom is different and the different activities we can attend within our routine. I even have themes planned for the different weeks of Summer to keep us crafting, learning, and exploring our world as my daughter's mind grows.

I find it both exciting and a little stressful that there is such a big element of our lives changing and I have little ability to plan. I can get the go bags ready and wash the clothes. I can put some finishing touches on the nursery that is still in place from my first daughter. But the actual timeline is out of my control; it is up to my little coconut when she will choose to arrive. 

My first daughter came two and a half weeks early, the morning of my last scheduled day of work. I literally realized I was having contractions and went upstairs to do some baby clothes laundry because I had planned to do that during the two weeks I was off before my due date. Surprise! Her arrival was a surprise that was completely worth it, of course.

This pregnancy has gone so fast with the distractions of a toddler running around and our crazy schedule. I'm so grateful this baby is due over summer break! But as the countdown to the end of school gets shorter my excitement and anticipation for our newest addition grows. Ninety-eight days...plus or minus however many days this child prefers. 

I'm grateful for the excitement of countdowns. I'm grateful for a good first year of "school" for my daughter and the schedule and routine it provided us. I'm grateful to return to the same school next year both for consistency and for the loving care they provide my child. I'm grateful summer is almost here. I'm grateful and excited for our last camping trip as a family of three. I'm also grateful we will be testing out a small teardrop camper for this trip. I'm grateful for my beautiful family and all the change my first daughter brought into our lives. I'm grateful and excited to see what our next little one has in store for us, her personality, and who she will grow to be.

What countdowns are running in your life? Are there any fun or exciting events you are anticipating?

May today fill us with excitement and anticipation for the future. May we find peace and balance in between what we can control and what we cannot. Have a beautiful day!

Yesterday I could feel the familiar feeling of anxiety vibrating though me. The culmination of feeling rushed combined with to do lists and lack of sleep was building. And the energy of grieving has been heavy as there seems to be a high number of souls lost to those I know recently. While none of the losses were people I know directly I feel the energy around me all the same.

Last night I was too exhausted to even meditate. I knew the second I turned it on I would just fall asleep so I chose to go directly to sleep and not fight the need. This morning I find myself only slightly better rested even after getting a full nights sleep. 

I feel a familiar need to bury my feet in the grass or sand. It is something I will need to make time for somehow today but I know there are other ways I can ground as well. Funny how the term grounded was a dreaded word in my youth and now, in this context, is a coveted action. 

There is something so calming in just "planting" myself. Letting energetic roots grow deep into the earth and letting all the chaotic energy that has built be drained back through my feet to the ground. Even just pausing to ground my body, my ears, in this morning's stillness is helping soothe the energy within.

These are the lessons I hope I can pass on to my daughters. These are the lessons that cycle back to me time and again as beautiful reminders. 

I am grateful to recognize this unsettled vibration. I'm grateful to begin untangling my energy from the energy around me. I'm grateful to know I can be supportive without taking on the grieving of those around me, though it is a active challenge. I'm grateful to pause and listen to the near silence of a sleeping house. I'm grateful to imagine my feet already planted in the earth. And, opposite to what I felt yesterday, I'm grateful to have to walk down the driveway and street to my car with child and necessities in toe today rather than the ease of a garage because it will give me access on my route to meeting this very need of grounding. I'm grateful for deep breaths and for the kicks and movements I get from my little one in return. I'm grateful for this day.

When was the last time you were grounded? What did that look like as a kid and what does it look like for you today? What is your favorite way to ground and re-center?

May today remind us to slow down. May we allow ourselves to ground back into what is important and take one step at a time as we travel our path. Have a beautiful day!

April is Autism Awareness Month. In the past I have written write at the beginning of the month about what this means to me and how much respect I hold for the people living with and assisting those with Autism. I was happy to see lots of "Light it Blue" and Puzzle Pieces at the beginning of the month floating around on Facebook and other media. Now it seems everyone is back to their routines and usual posts.

Today is still part of Autism Awareness Month. If you haven't yet, I ask you to please take some time to educate yourself on the large spectrum that is "Autism" as well as what you can do to help local families. There are special programs for law enforcement and community service personnel on how to assist if a special needs person is lost or needing help. There are resources online about fund raisers and even just educating yourself on the struggles they (and their families) can go through can help increase compassionate responses. 

I worked for many years with preschoolers with Autism and other communication delays and I can assure you they taught me as much if not more than I taught them. Hearing words come out of a little one's mouth who has struggled to express themselves is one of the best feelings in the world. And now as a parent I cannot even imagine the challenge of witnessing your child struggle with this twenty-four hours a day and all the control it takes in the roughest moments.

The last few days I have been trying to create a visual schedule for my toddler for some transitions that she has been struggling. Given my background my mind immediately went to PECS (picture exchange communication system) icons that we used for schedules in the school district. I like them because they are basic and convey the activity fairly well. And in my naïveté I thought surely there must be a website that allows parents access to these icons to help their lives go a little smoother. Instead what I found was lots of websites offering pictures but in a jumble and hard to pick out specific ones without having to buy a program. It was frustrating. But it also brought me back to the big picture.

I thought back to all the parents that I met over the years working with their beautiful children. I thought about all the struggles they already had going on and here was one more. Now during my time at the school we would provide pictures for parents that matched ours at school, when asked, because consistency is huge. But it had not occurred to me that they would not have access to their own. I think of the last two and a half years I have had and the struggles I have faced as a new parent and I realize how blessed I am in those.

I'm grateful for all the amazing parents out there raising their kids through a variety of challenges. I'm grateful for every parent that looks lovingly at their child and does their best for that child no matter how that may look in the moment. I'm grateful for parents and families of children with Autism that truly know what it means to be a champion and put your child first. I'm grateful for every child shining their unique light. I'm grateful to be blessed with a daughter that can speak her mind even if it is not what I want to hear because I know that there are parents that would do anything to hear a single word. I'm grateful for my experiences working with kids with Autism and communication delays and their amazing parents. I'm grateful for one minor frustration in my life bringing me back to the big picture, my bounty of blessings, and awareness of a need that can be fulfilled.

Have you had the privilege of loving someone with Autism? Have you educated yourself on how you can provide support even if it is just a comforting nod to the parent in the store? Have you counted your blessings today?

May today remind us that we each have our struggles but there is always someone going through harder. May we join together in love and kick judgment to the curb. May we find ways to support the people in our lives and our communities. Have a beautiful day!

While I wait for my dog's next round of bathroom emergency I figured I may as well put my wakefulness to use by writing this blog. My mind has been up for two of the last three hours so I may as well redirect it from the spinning wheels it has currently to gratitude.

I could not tell you why my dog's stomach is upset tonight. As far as I know she has not had anything out of the usual. Even the treats in her Easter basted were her usual treats and have been rationed only slightly higher than a typical day. But none-the-less here we are with tummy issues in the wee hours. 

I do not mind being up with her. She is a pretty low-need dog these days due to age. Her anxiety and displeasure with being left alone during the week is sad but not unexpected. And last week there was the trauma of being locked in the master bedroom alone by my toddler which resulted in over an hour's work to eventually just disassemble the doorknob and free her. For the most part she just lies around and watches the circus happening around her.

So I do not mind being up with her in the night on occasion... except that it stirs flashbacks. When I was pregnant with my first daughter our other dog had many nights of tummy troubles. It escalated to issues walking about a week after my daughter was born. And she was in diapers shortly there after. She was a trooper and held on through cancer nearly two more years, passing away last Summer. 

Now there is just one fur-baby. She is not young. I believe, if my sleep-deprived brain is calculating right, that she is twelve, to turn thirteen in September. She has had her own health struggles and pain management struggles. My fur-baby is getting older and it aches my heart.

But, alas, I said I would re-route to gratitude and it is time to set the worry aside. This dog has brought so much joy and laughter into my life. From her puppy antics of flipping the lights on and off to get my attention to unscrewing outlet plates with a slow meticulous pick of the nail she has kept me on my toes since I brought her home. 

Her favorite way to rest is on her back, legs int he air with her head draped over the edge of the bed, dog bed, or stair. It gives her a similar look to Stitch from the kids movie Lilo and Stitch. Pippin's favorite activity, even now as she struggles to get around, is chasing and eating bubbles. And she can snorkel a rock out of a kiddie pool with determination unbound. 

Pippin is a great dog. She is smart, just not always smart enough to NOT do the smart things she thinks up. For a while I kept finding a trail of water drippings from the bathroom to her water bowl. I thought, now why is she going to the bathroom if there is plenty of water in her bowl? (Never fear the toilet seats are kept closed just in case.) Finally one day I caught her in the act and followed her to the bathroom... She was wiping her face off on the hand towel! 

I'm so grateful for more than a decade of laughs given to me by this amazing, sweet, silly dog. I'm grateful for her impressive intelligence even if it is often not an action I appreciate. I'm grateful for all she has taught me about unconditional love and accepting someone as they are. I'm grateful for all the times I have messed up and been forgiven by her. I'm grateful she chose me to rescue her even if she used a bit of bait and switch on personality to be brought home. I'm grateful for all the lessons I learned from our other dog both in life and loss that help me prepare now as Pippin gets older. I'm grateful to recognize the fears and flashbacks for what they truly are, love, and refocus on this moment and gratitude.

What are you grateful for today? What are your best pet memories? What antics, personalities, and blessings have you found in pets over the years?

May today remind us that there is beauty in each moment. May we find peace even in the face of loss and may we not let past losses affect the current love and piece of life we are walking through. Have a beautiful and blessed day!

After a weekend packed with family, friends, and fun, fun, FUN it was a little hard to drag myself out of bed this morning. Saturday we spent almost the entire day at the zoo waling around looking at animals, riding the carousel, and celebrating a friend's birthday. We blew right on through nap time and by the time we reached the car to drive home my daughter was ready to pass out.

Yesterday kicked off the Easter festivities with an Easter egg hunt first thing followed by a day of celebrating with family. Plates of delicious food filled our bellies followed by lots of fun conversations and even a big group walk around the block. Once again we blew right through nap time but rather than crash on the way home my daughter had her tenth wind. 

Arriving home she ran over to the radio, turned it on and started dancing, singing, and playing her little guitar. "My bones are dancing n my body!," she called out as she jumped around. When bedtime rolled around it took all of five minutes for her to crash hard and I was the same way. What a weekend!

Springtime and Easter are all about rebirth and renewal. It is a fresh start. For us, this weekend also seemed to be about abundance and while I may be a little tired, my cup is overflowing!

I'm so grateful for such an amazing weekend with family and friends. I'm grateful for how well my daughter held up to using loud public restrooms and skipping naps. I'm grateful for all the wonderful people in our lives that we got to celebrate with this weekend! I'm grateful to gather with family and friends and the way it renews my spirit. I'm grateful for my daughter's joyful and energetic personality that sparks my own youthful energy. I'm grateful for the abundance of love, laughter, and time shared this weekend. And I'm grateful for a morning alarm that I rarely hear but served its purpose today. 

How do you celebrate special occasions? Who do you prefer to spend your time with to renew your spirit?

May today carry us forward on renewed spirits and joyous hearts. May we find it easier to laugh off bumps in the plans by focusing on what is truly important. Have a beautiful day!

I drove home last night under the gaze of a full moon. I arrived to a quiet house as my daughter was already settled in bed. And I took some time to eat dinner while unwinding with my husband. 

This morning I woke to my daughter's cries only to have her tell me I was not the parent she wanted. Not exactly what I wanted to hear after already missing putting her to bed last night. But she is her own person with her own logic and experiences so all I could do was tuck her in as I was asked and then "get out" as I was told.

She drifted back to sleep but I found I could not. I would love to say that logic and reasoning can abate my mind. I cannot say I have developed thick skin over the course of life's inflicted wounds. I was brought into this world with a tender heart and it has remained intact throughout my experiences. In fact, even events that are not my own, from the news or shows, effect me deeper than I sometimes wish. But it is also my super power; this ability to care and be sensitive. 

The one thing that can help is to remind myself that I am whole and complete. When I feel the little shatters within my heart at hearing something sad; I can remind myself that I am still whole. I am still whole. I was created with this sensitive and tender heart for a reason and it gives a space for healing and love in this sometimes crazy and chaotic world. I am an integral piece of this world and of my family and yet we are all whole and complete pieces in and of ourselves. 

We are each here for a reason. We were each created with the same uniqueness and beauty of a snowflake, no two the same. We each have a path to travel and we are blessed with the beauty of getting to walk in tandem with friends and family for varying amounts of that path. 

It is easy, especially as a mom, for me to wrap my identity in the roles I provide. But I am whole and complete both within this role and in the larger scale journey. I am my own person just as I want to raise my daughter to be. My relationships enhance who I am but they do not define or create who I am...and in that I find peace and gratitude.

I'm grateful for the light of the full moon, both guiding me home last night and guiding me back to the light this morning. I'm grateful to be aware that I tend to process deeper emotions when the moon is full. I'm grateful to have been blessed with a sensitive and tender heart. I'm grateful to honor it rather than try to tuck it down and shelter it from wounds. I'm grateful to acknowledge the wound of hearing my daughter not want my support this morning. But I'm more grateful to honor her wish and accept her assertion of her own needs. I'm grateful to take time to process and not brush it away or ignore the underlying sting. I'm grateful to remember that I am whole and complete, as is my beautiful child, and that is beauty and comfort in itself. 

What roles do you find identity in? What aspects of you remind you that you are whole and complete on this journey? How do you bring yourself back into balance?

May today remind us that we are loved, whole, and complete no matter the moment we find ourselves inside. May we have the tools to bring our hearts back to balance and remember our unique perfection in each moment. Have a beautiful day!

It's National High Five Day and that has me thinking. I, myself, and pretty big on high fives when it comes to interacting with my daughter. "You got your shoes on so fast! High five!" "Wow you did the big slide all by yourself! High Five!" I have even found myself saying, "That was a spectacular wipe-out! Are you ok? Yes? Great, high five!" 

Don't get me wrong, we do plenty of hugs and verbal praise too. But high five seems to be a good quick praise that she enjoys. It has even come in handy when she is feeling a little off or obstinate because she enjoys the joke "high five...miss!" 

But when was the last time we gave ourselves a "high five"? I don't mean literally jumping up and clapping your own hands together...although the humor of that may be just what we need in some cases, but praising ourselves for doing well. 

Often as adults the bar seems to be much higher. I landed a big account or finished a major project could "earn" a high five and yet our own pause to enjoy the success seems forgotten as we move on to the next task. But what if we gave ourselves credit, even just long enough for a high five, to remind ourselves of our progress and hard work.

High five for remembering to feed the dog before she whined at the bowl! High five for waking the kids on time for school! High five for simply making it out the door today! High five for taking that nice long woosah breath instead of losing it when the child did, fill in the blank, AGAIN! Seriously, a little praise can make a big difference and isn't celebrating successes and focusing on the positive a big part of living in joy?!

I'm grateful to give myself some high fives today. I'm grateful to be silly enough to even physically give myself a high five just because I imagine that would be funny. I'm grateful to see the importance of modeling this for my daughter as I continue to try to create and model a mindset of positive self-talk. I'm grateful to be silly with my daughter. I'm grateful for positive interactions. I'm grateful for a new idea that just occurred to me! At the end of the day, besides some gratitude and writing down what the best thing that happened that day, maybe I will start including "what was one thing I did well today?". 

What is something you have done well this week? What is one success, no matter how big or small, you could celebrate with giving yourself a high five? How many high fives can you give yourself today? 

Just in case you can't think of any: High five for getting up this morning! High five for taking the time to read this blog and hopefully put a positive note on your day (and thank you)! High five for whatever you choose to do with today because making decisions aren't always as easy as they seem. High five for being you. You are the only you around and the world needs one of you.

May today remind us to give ourselves a little grace, a little forgiveness, and a lot of praise. May we give ourselves a high five for our successes and start the day with some positive self-talk. Have a beautiful day!

I love to read. I would have no problem curling up in a hammock in the sunshine and reading the entire day. I love books of all types from children's books to science fiction to biographies to even self-help and spirituality books. I love to read.

I love that my daughter loves to read and we read no less than eight books on any given day and sometimes as many as twenty or thirty depending on the to do list and the weather. It is a good thing we have a great library system here or I would be broke. And I won't even get started on the struggle I have had now that Scholastic has entered our lives.

One thing I have noticed lately is I am struggling to find time to read my own books. It's not like a toddler is going to say, "Sure Mommy, I'll sit here quietly and play while you read a chapter or two of Dan Brown."  Especially not when there is The Gruffalo and Fancy Nancy and a hundred other books I could be reading to her.

I don't mind. One of my favorite childhood memories was reading with my mom. Whether we were cuddled up together on the couch or she was reading the next book in the Babysitter's Club series while I roller skated circles in the garage, I loved to listen. And I loved reading to myself.

Even now, while I appreciate the ease of my kindle on trips, I still prefer a solid book and the ability to turn a paper page. There is something soothing to my soul about the sound of an actual page turning. 

I used to read for a little while in the afternoon or evening as a way to unwind. Now as schedules change and different needs are required that time has become my time to exercise. I used to read sometimes while riding my stationary bike but since the birth of my daughter I have been unable to use my bike due to tailbone discomfort. And for a while I even read while I walked if my walks were confined to the house due to weather or sleeping child but I find it a little more challenging these days with pregnancy making me a little more prone to dizziness. 

The other day I was on the library website because I had heard of a parenting book that sparked my interest. It is called "How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen." My main frustration right now being the feeling that talking to a two-year-old is much like talking to the wall, obviously this book peaked my curiosity. I was thinking to myself that this would be a way to "make" myself find a time to read again and I was trying to find the positive feeling of that without letting overwhelm creep in. But as I went to check it out I saw an option. Would I like the cd audio version? 

I love books. I love to read. It has been a long time since I just sat and had someone read to me but I sure loved it in my youth. And here was an option that provided me the opportunity to hear this book without carving out a special time for reading. I have a twenty plus minute commute each day that is normally spent wandering the depths of my mind. And let me tell you that is not always a good thing. 

After just two days I am loving this new way to commute. I love feeling like my commute is productive and even fun. I love accepting help and having someone read to me so I don't have to struggle to rearrange my schedule. Someday I will get back to reading daily. But for now I am grateful to accept this form of reading.

I'm grateful for our library system. I'm grateful for audio books and a whole new platform being open to me. I'm grateful to enjoy reading and being read too and I'm so grateful my daughter shares this love with me. I'm grateful for all the amazing authors out there with their own styles and creativity to share. I'm grateful to accept help and have my needs met. I'm grateful for all the experiences and knowledge I have received through my love of reading. I'm grateful for all the memories I have have of my mom reading to me and I'm grateful to build some of those memories with my daughter as well.

What is one way you can accept help? What was the last book you read that you loved? Do you have a favorite book from childhood?

​May today remind us that help is a wonderful thing. May we accept help in the ways we are comfortable and make time for the things we love. Have a beautiful day!