Now in the second trimester I have been having a few more "good" days as far as being able to eat. The flip side is that the pregnancy insomnia and irrational nightmares have kicked in. I experienced the same with my first daughter so it is no surprise. The other night I dreamed it was day two and I had forgotten to nurse the baby at all and because I had waited so long she no longer knew how. I got a good chuckle from that one when I woke but during the dream I was pretty stressed.
I am a good mom. I'm not super-mom or anything but I do my best and my first daughter seems to be turning out alright so far. I realize there will be big adjustments for all of us when the new baby arrives and I will admit to a little trepidation about how I will handle it in the midst of lack of sleep. I also pray that this child will be a better sleeper than my first daughter was and we can make it all the way through the night before eighteen months. On the other hand, here I sit at two am so if it's genetic I guess the finger can point at me.
The beauty of this stage of pregnancy, besides the obvious benefit of getting able to eat a little and laugh about silly dreams, is all the activity going on inside my belly. The acrobats this kid can do feels amazing. Ok, well it doesn't always FEEL great, but emotionally it feels amazing! I love feeling her stretching and turning this way and that. I love picturing in my mind what she looks like and looking forward to seeing her sweet baby yawns when she arrives.
Will she look like my first daughter? Beautiful and perfect and nearly bald. How accurate is the "heartburn causes hair to grow" saying? Perhaps this kid will be born with six inch curls. Most likely she will have blonde hair as that is the majority of the family DNA and if it is long there is a good chance it will be "styled" in the family "mullet" that runs in young children in my family. No matter what she will be one of the most beautiful things I have ever laid my eyes on.
I'm grateful for this stage in pregnancy. I'm grateful for some good days and the ability to eat and put on a few pounds. I'm grateful for an app that tells me she is now as big as a papaya, even if I don't really know how big that is. I'm grateful for foods that help heartburn and help calm the stomach. I'm grateful to be growing and to have my beloved baby bump. I'm grateful to feel my little acrobat moving all around. I'm grateful for the miracle of pregnancy and the blessing of being able to carry a child. I'm grateful to know what a gift this is and how lucky I am because I know so many women who have struggled, including myself in the past. I'm grateful for my amazing daughter that calmed my fears about having a girl and paved the way for sheer joy at having another girl. I'm grateful to know I am a good mom. And I'm grateful to trust I will be able to go back to bed and get a little more sleep before morning.
What events in your life do you consider miracles? What has challenged you and made you a better person? What are you deeply grateful for today?
May today remind us we are so much stronger than we feel. May we remember that our success rate in surviving challenges is one hundred percent. And may we find beauty and gratitude in every situation. Have a beautiful day!